WHAT IS AN EMPATHIC SENSITIVE?
If you have suffered from bad nerves or depression for most of your adult life, I urge you to read this information because it could hopefully shed new light and hope for you.
Serotonin (5-HT) is a neuro-transmitter that acts upon the brain to influence motivation and mood, and plays an important part in the development of the central nervous system, social behavior, sleep, and aggression. Certain foods have been found to contain high amounts of serotonin. These foods are tomatoes, bananas, pecans, pineapple, and plums. By avoiding these foods, serotonin levels can be reduced, or by eating them frequently serotonin levels can be increased. Depression might be helped by either increasing or decreasing your intake of those foods.
The following ten traits are taken from the book, "The Sensitive Person's Guide To Survival," by Dr. Kyra Mesich. I highly recommend this book to all Sensitives.
I learned about Empathic Sensitivity in September 2001, shortly after my fifth marriage ended, when I was age 51. The puzzle pieces began to fit so that I finally could understand the things that have happened in my life. I have elaborated on some of these traits based upon my own experiences of being an Ultra Empathic Sensitive (UES), and a #12 Crystal Child, as well as comments from other Empathic Sensitive friends I have met online.
You can take Pamela Oslie's free Aura Color Test by clicking on her link at the end of this page to see what colors make up your aura and influence your personality. Your aura is the electromagnetical energy that surrounds your body.
If you are an Empathic Sensitive, you will have most of these ten traits. There is a link at the end of this website where you can take the free Meyers-Briggs Personality Test online to find out what your four letters are, and also learn to understand what those four letters mean. The more you learn about Empathic Sensitivity, the more better equipped you will be able to handle it.
If you are an Empathic Sensitive, here are some things you will need everyday: time alone when needed, earplugs to keep out noises, a white noise machine, headphones with a long extension cord, relaxing music, DVDs and tapes that help you relax, sunglasses and window blinds to block bright lights, a Homemedics massaging pad to lay down on, a cozy blanket made of natural fibers, linens made of natural cotton fibers, comfortable clothes made of natural fibers, bath and beauty products that are hypoallergenic, soothing herbal teas, scented bubble baths or a massaging or fountain shower head, flower essences to rebalance your emotions, pure essential oils, scented candles, live flowers and greenery, herbs, multi-vitamin and mineral supplement, hobbies, arts, and crafts that you enjoy doing alone, exercise, and healthy, nourishing foods, books to read, a barometric pressure meter if you get weather-related headaches, and a calm, clean, and peaceful environment in which to live each day.
Here are the ten traits that you might be an Empathic Sensitive:
1. Emotionally sensitive people feel emotions often and deeply. They feel as if they wear their emotions on their sleeves. Their whole world revolves around their feelings and emotions. They are highly empathic. The things that would not bother the average person will bother an Empathic Sensitive very deeply. They cannot just let go and ignore unkind remarks or rejection by others.
It is sometimes difficult to go to sleep simply because they cannot turn off their thoughts, or perhaps they are "picking up" or "absorbing" vibes, pains, or suffering from other people through time and space.
The easiest way I have learned to deal with these vibes is to realize when it is happening to me. If you are feeling okay, then all of a sudden out of the blue, you begin feeling differently, it is probably because you are picking up or absorbing someone else's pains or suffering. At such times, I pray for whomever it is that I am experiencing this, for them to be healed and for me to be released from the pain and suffering as well. That always seems to help the situation for me.
An Empathic Sensitive will appear to others as a very insecure, passive person. However, it is really just that their sensitivity levels go so deep that they need extra support to feel secure about everything. Empathic Sensitives are really very brave people inside. Mates of Empathic Sensitives would be very wise to give them the reassurance they need daily until that emotional security can be felt deep inside them. Empathic Sensitives are some of the nicest, kindest people in the world. They wouldn't dream of hurting others, unless it is done unintentionally in some way. They are quick to offer an apology if they even think they have offended another person. The words, "I am sorry, please forgive me," come easily to a true Empathic Sensitive.
2. They are very much aware of the emotions of others and are highly perceptive of other's needs, feelings, suffering, pains, and emotions. These sensory perceptions are almost always correct and are not things that they try to perceive.
Weather patterns passing through your local area can cause Empathic Sensitives to get severe headaches. Different weather patterns can affect people in different ways. Some are affected by high fronts and some are affected by low fronts. Some are affected by high humidity while others are affected with severe thunderstorm activity. In my own life, when low fronts are in or nearby my area, it causes me to pick up other people's headache pains and suffer right along with them. I take two Excedrin Migraine tablets in the morning hours because it usually starts upon awakening, pray for the person whose vibes I am picking up, and hope it will get better for both of us soon. You can purchase a marine barometer which can help you become aware of your own migraine headache patterns so that you can take measures to stop your headaches before they reach excruciating migraine pain levels if you know one is probably headed your way.
Most Empathic Sensitives can always sense and feel things others cannot. Even when people say it is not so, they still "know" when it is.
Empathic Sensitives all have certain gifts of God, although you might perceive them as curses until you learn to control what you are experiencing. There are different gifts in different degrees in different Empathic Sensitives. Usually no two people are exactly alike.
3. They are easily hurt or upset. Any unkind words, looks, insults, or even joking remarks will affect Empathic Sensitives very deeply. This is seen by others as being extremely sensitive-natured, insecure, or thin-skinned. Empathic Sensitives are not able to just throw off such remarks or hurts.
These unkind words go deep within and cause great pain inside an Empathic Sensitive and sometimes great anger which is then turned inwards resulting in a lifelong depression.
Anger Management classes are a good way to deal with rage if you feel it. You can find free classes online by doing a search on free anger management courses.
If a person is prone to be in a major depression it will usually begin to show up in their mid-twenties. Depression is negative and isolating, and feels like one is in an emotional hell, like they are caught up in some kind of negative vortex that keeps pulling them into the abyss deeper and deeper. They seek help, hope, and a cure. Prescription meds do not always help a highly sensitive person who suffers from depression and can actually make them worse when reactions to the meds occur. Being understood, accepted as they are, and loved is what they really need from their support group.
4. Empathic Sensitives strive to avoid conflicts and dread arguments because the negativity affects them so deeply.
They might get accused of trying to argue when this is not their intention at all. Being misunderstood is quite common for Empathic Sensitives. An Empathic Sensitive does not like to hurt anyone's feelings. People who do not understand sensitivity see Empathic Sensitives as passive individuals.
Do not be afraid to take an Assertiveness Training course, as being assertive simply means you learn you have the same rights as others and stand up for your own rights without trampling on anyone else's rights or becoming aggressive in so doing. Being passive lets others use you as a doormat, scapegoat, or patsy, or be bullied, controlled, or manipulated by someone else. Being aggressive is not caring if you hurt other's feelings, use others, and try to bully, control, or manipulate them in some way. Being assertive means that you don't let yourself be used, bullied, manipulated, or controlled, you just stand up for your rights in a calm and peaceful manner. You do not have to hurt anyone's feelings or get into fights to do this. Maturing seems to cause most Empathic Sensitives to want to be more assertive. Local Technical Colleges usually offer a course on Assertiveness Training for a nominal fee.
There are some people who are emotional vampires. When you are around these types of people they drain you of all your personal energy, which is usually done on a subconscious level. They may or may not realize what they are doing. You will learn to recognize them because every time you are around such people you feel completely drained of your energy. When this happens it is necessary for an Empathic Sensitive to get alone and recoupe their personal energy from God. Ideally, we all would get our personal energy from God each day and not have to drain anyone of theirs. Getting alone and praying to God or meditating can work wonders in restoring energy, peace, and calm to an Empathic Sensitive. Each day upon awakening, ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with the unconditional agapé love of God to meet all your emotional and spiritual energy needs and that same love will flow back out to others you come into contact with that day to help them, too. Your life will go much smoother. When God's love flows into you and back out to others it brings into your life the very people you seek without your having to do much at all. It is truly amazing!
5. Empathic Sensitives are not able to shake off their feelings easily. Once they are saddened or hurt by something, they cannot just snap out of it, as others will often tell you to do.
Thoughts can go on repeatedly in an Empathic Sensitive's mind, replaying continuously. They wonder could they have said this or that, or done this or that, and made a difference in a situation. Empathic Sensitives never want to hurt anyone else. They are people pleasers. They will give their very best in any relationship. Their feelings and emotions go very deep. The higher their sensitivity levels, the less they would want to hurt another's feelings.
6. They are very much affected by emotions they witness or sense in others. They feel deeply for others' sufferings in life.
They can usually sense if someone is lying. They can absorb pains, feelings, and emotions from other people. It can get to the point that you are not sure which are yours and which are others' you are sensing. I have even suffered chest pains from others, cried tears from another person, and had things appear on my body from another person. It helps to know you are most likely channeling something for another person when this happens, so just pray for them to be healed of whatever their problem might be. That is the only thing I have found that helps in these situations. Sensing others' feelings, pains, and emotions can get to the point of an Empathic Sensitive refusing to watch sad movies, listen to sad songs, watching the news, hearing sad stories, etc. because it is just too much for them to bear. The emotions they would feel would stick with them long after doing such things. You tend to isolate yourself from others in hopes you won't pick up anymore vibes. The only thing is that you don't have to always be around others to absorb vibes as they can come to you through time and space. If I am not prepared for my latest literary reading or movie experience, it can be very traumatic. I actually get into the movie or the book like it is me participating. I don't like being placed in any situation for which I am not prepared. If someone will just go through what happens in the book or movie with me beforehand, and if there are spots that are suspense-filled or scary, warn me, then I can prepare myself for them. I don't even mind knowing the ending so I can prepare myself for it, too.
Empathic Sensitives are highly intuitive. Learn to trust your gut instincts or intuition as this will help you in life. The more you trust your intuition the stronger it will be within.
7. Emotionally sensitive people are prone to suffer from recurring depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsion disorders, personality disorders, or other psychological disorders for most of their lives.
By learning all they can about Empathic Sensitivity, they can learn to manage their lives much better. You can form "O" shapes with your thumbs and index fingers on each hand, and block out others' emotions, feelings, and pains. This is especially useful when you are around negative people.
You can visualize a white light surrounding and protecting you, and a mirror-like shield bouncing off other's vibes that would affect you.
You can ground yourself by placing your palms down flat on your floor or the ground.
When taking a bath or shower, visualize all your negative emotions being washed off your body and flowing down the drain. Bathing is the easiest way to ground yourself and wash away those unwanted vibes.
Use Positive Affirmations to boost your energy daily.
You can visualize yourself as being a conduit system to transfer negative vibes you absorb from others to go back into the ground so they can be transmuted into positive energy.
If you are depressed you can stare at a bright orange color for a few minutes. You can also use the color pink to stare at when depressed for relief.
You can use Flower Essences purchased from any good herb store to rebalance your emotions. Click onto my website about Flower Essences for more information on this.
It is usually such a relief to find out about being an Empathic Sensitive, like a light being turned on in a dark tunnel. You suddenly realize you are not alone in the world as you thought, that there are many others just like yourself who exist all over the world in many different cultures. Most all Empathic Sensitives feel isolated, like they are an alien on a foreign planet abandoned by the mothership to fend for themselves. You may have felt alone your entire life. You may feel like you do not fit into any group. You might be a loner type, without any or few friends. You may feel that no one has ever loved you for the real you. Even your own familial relationships may be toxic. Try as hard as you might, you may not be able to make or keep any friends. It can be very puzzling as to why people would not want to be friends when you know you are a nice, kind person, and a true friend.
8. Empathic Sensitives are deeply affected by nature, art, music, and anything that goes deeply into the spirit or soul as far as aesthetics or spirituality. Some of them are prolific artists because they have all of this high creativity energy within. Others are great appreciators of art or music. Most all Empathic Sensitives love natural things and natural settings.
All Sensitives are artistic in some way, usually having a prolific, vivid, and creative imagination. Some of the greatest writers, musicians, artists, sculptors, and naturalists are Empathic Sensitives. Most all of them are very spiritual and seek their true purpose and meaning to life.
9. Empathic Sensitivity causes the nervous systems of Sensitives to become stimulus overloaded.
They cannot stand to be in large crowds of people, hear loud noises, or be in chaotic or hectic environments. They need peace and harmony, and a quiet clean lifestyle and environment that is supportive. Florescent lights in stores can bother Sensitive's eyes. Any bright lights bother their eyes, even to the point of triggering migraine headaches or tension or stress headaches sometimes. You might try drinking a cup of hot black coffee or two glasses of Gatorade to stop a migraine if it's caught in time. If it reaches the vomiting stage, not much helps but sleeping off the headache. Sensitives can smell odors others cannot. Foul odors can throw them into overwhelm in a heartbeat. Sensitive's skin and entire body is extra sensitive to touch and to products used both internally and externally. I have to be very careful of all products I use internally and externally as they can break me out in a rash. I cannot wear denim or wool as the fabrics are too rough and bruise or irritate my skin. One allergist did a series of patch tests on my skin and I was mildly allergic to 119 different items he tested on me. Sensitives are always able to sense and feel things about people that others cannot. This comes to them naturally and is not something they try to do at all. They startle easily. They bruise easily. Some Sensitives can even absorb symptoms they read about in a disease and experience these symptoms in their body. They might get accused of being hypocondriacs because of this. All or some of their senses are heightened above that of average people. Too much stimuli simply overwhelms them, and they start overreacting to everything. Then they shut down or withdraw until they can recoupe their personal energy from God. This leaves them feeling anxious and nervous a lot of the time when they are in some kind of stressful situation they do not feel comfortable being in. Sensitives feel they border the line of sanity and insanity most of the time, but this is usually just a feeling of being overwhelmed by so much stimulus overload to their nervous system. Sensitives are not weak people. They are very strong people to undergo the stress they must endure for a lifetime. Sensitives are survivors. They do what they feel must be done at the time without causing any harm to another person. What might not be such a big deal to the average person is very much a big deal to a Sensitive. After the crisis has passed, however, a Sensitive might wonder what all the fuss or dramatics were about then, but at the time they go through it, the drama is very real and very overwhelming.
10. Empathic Sensitives are born this way, and they will be this way throughout life. They were sensitive as children. Some were loners as children and still are as adults. Many Empathic Sensitives become near-hermits as they mature to protect their sensitive natures.
The model child can be bullied easily by others and does not want to do anything that will hurt others in any way, is a good student, never gets into trouble, and does what is told to do, even to the point of not doing what they really want to do. They grow up to be model adults and try to please other people all the time. They are very generous people.
Since it is not possible to please everyone all the time, at some point in life, it will overwhelm their nervous systems, or they will suffer from depression, or might even have a nervous breakdown.
The other type sensitive child experiences too much stimulus overload to the nervous system and cannot focus or concentrate well in life, which causes them problems in school. They are shy, sensitive individuals usually, and feel things very deeply. They grow up and feel inadequate as adults and want to fit in with others but feel like they never fit in anywhere they go. These Sensitives have facades that seem to fit them into any group they choose though. Deep inside they yearn to really belong to a group of friends in which they feel they are a genuine part without any facades being necessary. They want to be accepted for their real self which is just a nice, kind person who happens to be very sensitive inside and out. They are not freaks of nature, and do not want to be treated as such, simply because they "know" things, and may be able to "see" into your soul. There is no need to fear Empathic Sensitives. Most all of them are very nice, kind, generous people, and make excellent friends.
People who are Empathic Sensitives usually have most of these traits. They usually always feel animosity towards their highly sensitive nature. They wish they were tougher and not so easily hurt. They wish things in life did not upset and bother or overwhelm them so much. They wish their feelings were not so obvious to others. They wish they did not let people disappoint them. They would like to be able to just let things go and not let them bother them so much. They would like to be able to not worry so much about things. Some have learned to hide their sensitive nature, but it is still there, and they suffer inside, internalizing their feelings rather than expressing them. Male Sensitives are more apt to do this because society teaches them to be tough, not sensitive.
God has given all of us the ability to heal ourselves through talking out our feelings with another person we can trust. If we can find someone who will empathize and listen to us until we have fully talked out those feelings, then we will be able to let them go and move on, having given them the proper closure that is needed. This is sometimes why Sensitives can go for many years in suffering. They fear talking about their problems will only make matters worse, but in fact, the opposite is true. You just need to find someone you can trust to talk with, who will not judge or condemn you, who will just listen as you work through it all, and who will let you talk about it as much as is needed until you are assured that it has proper closure in your own mind.
Dr. Elaine Aron has written several good books on being a Highly Sensitive Personality or HSP.
From two (according to Dr. Mesich) to twenty (according to Dr. Aron) percent of the world's population are thought to be Sensitives on some level, but I suspect the percentage is much higher due to the great number I have come across online. Thirty percent are said to be Introverts. Not all Sensitives are Introverts though. Some are very outgoing and love bright sunshine and being around other people with high energy. The Internet is very appealing to Introverts and Sensitives. You are not alone like you thought. There are many truly good people out here. You just have to find each other and form friendships.
Sensitives as well as Introverts seem to be drawn to the Internet as it is a way of interacting with other people but also remaining anonymous to a certain degree. When they feel the need to shut down or withdraw from society and be alone with God to recoupe their personal energy, they can do so easily enough online. They can simply turn off their computer or internet receiver until they can handle it again, without feeling overwhelmed and overreacting. They can make friends without having to deal with them on a real-time basis in person.
One thing I would like to point out here is when you start to feel overwhelmed, learn to recognize what is happening to you instead of having a panic attack. After you become overwhelmed by too much stimuli, you will always begin to overreact to everything, and then shut down or withdraw. What you need to do is make yourself something nourishing to eat that you like to eat, then get alone to either rest or do something that you enjoy doing alone, and recoupe your personal energy level from God. Once you learn these steps, it will make your life a little more comprehensible at least to you. You might say and do dramatical things that you would not normally do if you were not in a state of overwhelm. If you do not teach a mate what to expect from you at such times, it is possible the dramatics can get to the point that you might separate during such crises. This is the last thing Sensitives need though. They need loving, emotional support during these times from their mate and family. All this overwhelm is what makes so many Sensitives go through so many relationships within their life. Unless a mate fully understands a Sensitive or is one and learns all about it they can, a relationship will never last very long.
Sensitives love to write to other people online as it gives them a chance to express their deep thoughts and feelings. They have the ability to write long, detailed letters. Many Sensitives need these details as it helps them be understood as well as understand others. It is very important for an Empathic Sensitive to be understood. Strangely enough, most Empathic Sensitives are misunderstood which only frustrates and disappoints them even moreso. It can finally get to where Empathic Sensitives just do not feel anyone understands them at all, and they choose to turn into near-hermits and withdraw from society almost completely at an older age.
I am convinced that Empathic Sensitives need to find other Sensitives they can bond with and form friendships, then relationships. In general, it seems that Sensitives choose exactly the opposite type mates they really want and need. This is why it is hard for a Sensitive to have an involved relationship. Their mate is usually not capable of, or refuses to learn, understanding their highly sensitive nature or their deep need for emotional and spiritual security. They will sometimes make joking, unkind, or insensitive remarks that only hurt the Sensitive even worse or else walk out on them just when they are needed most. In time, and especially when a Sensitive has gone through several dysfunctional relationships, it can cause a deep distrust for the opposite sex. Even finding another Sensitive that you can relate to is not an easy task, for sometimes we are so sensitive that we still cannot get along with each other and might misunderstand others who are like us. Sensitives tend to run when they see the same patterns repeating. It takes time to trust others. Trust must be earned and built gradually. Don't run. Stick around and try to work things out if you can communicate with each other and have enough common interests to share. The best way to start any relationship is to just write and become friends. Expect nothing more than friendship. Over a period of time, you will learn all about the other person by sharing your thoughts and asking questions. If you are an Empathic Sensitive and are searching for your true soulmate, I suggest you just keep praying about it, and God will lead you to another Sensitive some day who will understand you and be exactly what you have always wanted and needed in your life. Daily ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with God's unconditional agapé love to overflowing so that it flows into all your emotional and spiritual tanks and then back out to others you come across each day to help them also. When this is done on a daily basis, a Sensitive will find their life flows more smoothly, and the people they need or need to help seem to come into their life easily without their having to do anything much to attract them. Search the Scriptures to find verses that seem to reach out to you and memorize them, or write them down on index cards and use them to encourage yourself daily. On my main links index page I have some Scriptures and Affirmations listed that encourage me, so feel free to use them if you like.
Dr. Elaine Aron says that it's not uncommon for Sensitives to spend as much as 50% of their time alone. I believe that it can be as much as 100% sometimes, so do not worry, if you are different than others and need a lot of time alone. Find things to do that you really enjoy. Make a list of things you can do alone. Learn to pamper and spoil yourself. You are worth it! You are far more valuable to your mate and family, if you take good care of yourself first of all. All too many times, Sensitives are nurturing and caring to others but neglect themselves. If you do not love yourself first of all, and take good care of yourself, then you will not be able to love others and take good care of them either. No one else will do it for you. It is something that you must do for yourself.
Try not to let other people use you since you have such a kind and generous nature. Try to keep away from users in life if you can. It's okay to say no to their requests.
Once you have read the above traits you will begin to realize that what you thought was a curse is now really a blessing in disguise. Dr. Mesich says that by taking the Flower Formula essence, Yarrow, you can balance these emotional areas and learn to use only the positive traits for God in your life. It takes a couple bottles to do this used according to directions on the bottle. Taking more will do no good and only waste your flower essence. It is such a relief for anyone who has suffered from depression or bad nerves and felt the emotions of others all their life to just realize what is going on. If you feel your nerves are overloaded all the time or have difficulty focusing, then you might very well be a Sensitive. But you are not alone! You did not come across this webpage by coincidence. It's serendipity! Your search has paid off for you. God is with you right now to help you learn how to deal with this in a positive way. Learn to trust Him for all your needs. The center verse in the Bible is Psalms 118:8 and says, "Put your trust in God, not in man." God will not let you down ever, but human beings usually will. You probably never will receive what you give to others in life, at least not in this lifetime. Your reward will come to you in Heaven.
Human beings are said to use only around 10% of their brain's full capacity, which leaves 90% that science still knows nothing about. This means that 90% of our mental powers are still yet to be discovered. Sensitives are blessed with some extra mental powers, so use what you have for the glory of God, not to gain material assets. Too many times when a Sensitive tries to use their gifts for monetary gain, they end up only suffering. Freely share your gifts with others, and you will not be disappointed. To know you have helped someone, can give you a wonderful feeling inside.
I personally believe that Empathic Sensitives live on a higher plane than the rest of the world does. I don't mean that we are superior to others. I believe that our internal sensory vibrations beat faster than the average person's does. The things about life which we see and understand so clearly apparently are not understood by average people. I don't think we are any more intelligent than the rest of the world, just more enlightened emotionally and spiritually. I do believe that Empathic Sensitives are very intelligent people, usually with above-average IQs. I personally believe our brains are just wired differently during the gestation period, so we sense, feel, and perceive more things than average people do for a lifetime.
Some famous people who are/were probably Highly Sensitive Personalities are: Mother Teresa, Princess Diana, Albert Einstein, Edward Bach, Nicholai Tesla, Carl Jung, Emily Dickinson, Abraham Lincoln, Elizabeth Taylor, Katherine Hepburn, Woody Allen, Queen Elizabeth II, Orson Welles, Walt Disney, Ansel Adams, Nicole Kidman, Nicolas Cage, Steven Spielberg, Jane Goodall, Drew Barrymore, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Peter Peterson, Barbara Streisand, Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Elton John, Bob Dylan, Jim Morrison, and Alanis Morisette.
If being an Empathic Sensitive seems like you, then today is the first day of the rest of your life. Your life is just now beginning for the good that God has in store for you.
FREE MEYERS-BRIGGS TEST AND EXPLANATIONS OF THOSE FOUR LETTERS
EXCELLENT FREE EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES E-BOOK
FLOWER ESSENCES FOR THE EMPATHIC SENSITIVE
PAMELA OSLIE'S AURA COLORS TEST
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