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Let me tell you about Space Chickens. Please hear me out; I'm not crazy. Unless you're one of those with the Gift you've probably never even heard of Space Chickens, let alone seen one. Yet they concern us all. Do not be blind to what you cannot see. Your ignorance is my only fear.

Space Chickens have recently landed on Earth with the intent of conquering it. As of now, they are few and rarely stray from the general vicinity of a Cosmic Bob. They do not greatly differ in physical appearance from common roosters. However, do NOT underestimate them. There are some concealed powers to be found in Space Chickens; namely, they've got big peckers.

Without the Gift you will never see a Space Chicken until its too late. They can remain invisible until the moment of attack. When they attack it is usually with their most efficient weapon-- an over-sized pecker. Strategically, they go for the eyes first and are skilled at placing precision blows to vital organs. Almost always they fight to the death, and it is usually that of their victim.

If you are attacked all is not lost. They do have their weaknesses. While they can be physically over powered, they are far stronger than one might believe. They commonly use their wings in a blinding, bruising flurry to disorient a victim while savagely striking with their pecker. By restraining the wings you take away a large amount of leverage in the blows. It also reduces the sheer speed and confusion of the attack.

Also, they are extremely dependant on the protection of a space helmet. In Earth's natural atmosphere, outside of Cosmic Bobs, Space Chickens apparently can only survive mere seconds with out one. Any crack, fracture, or breakage will send them at a mad dash to the nearest Cosmic Bob. In most circumstances, a serious counter-attack to the helmet will cause them to retreat.

The most effective weapon against Space Chickens is a Laser Gun. While these are not currently available to the general public, NASA is working on a domestic version, safe for the household. Until ACA (Anti-Chicken-Artillery) is more readily available it is best to simply AVOID COSMIC BOBS.

Please be aware that there is no way to differentiate between a Cosmic Bob and a Port-O-Potty. However, it is known that the Space Chickens have somehow secretly replaced almost all Port-O-Potties with Cosmic Bobs. If you must use such a facility be prepared and always use the buddy system.

With proper preparation and general insight, this threat should be countered. Do not take this lightly. We cannot afford to lose this war. More details will be made known to the public as we decipher them.

Thank you for your time. Good night.

--October 1997



shil3879@yahoo.com

Space Chickens on ICQ!!! UIN #22146457

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