Armageddon
(PG-13)
Harry S. Stamper: Bruce Willis
Dan Truman: Billy Bob Thornton
A.J. Frost: Ben Affleck
Grace Stamper: Liv Tyler
``Chick'' Chapple: Will Patton
Directed by Michael Bay. Written by Jonathan Hensleigh and J.J. Abrams. Running
time: 150 minutes. Classified PG-13 (for sci-fi disaster action, sensuality and
brief moments of vulgar language).
A more Action Packed Verson of Deep Impact. Oil drillers are sent to the comet
to distroy it by drilling holes into the comet to distroy it with nukes. They
have the new Shuttles the XR7's. A reuseable deep space shuttle, even though
the movie producers used the wrong design. The XR7's don't look like a shuttle
really. They have the "Steel Armadillo's" Large drilling machines. The
shuttles lift off and go to the Mir space station. The Mir is distroyed by a
leak of shuttle "Go-Go" Juice. And the Emergency shut off switch breaks off.
They get out without a scratch, and plus one Cosmonaunt. A very ecentric man
who definately had too much vodka. They go to the comet, and they loose the one
shuttle in the process. The shuttle crash lands on the comet, destroyed. The
comet lands on the surface, and gets the Armadillo out. They go to work drilling
the hole for the nuke. They break bits and other things while doing the job
They can't get down deep enough and the armadillo is blown away into deep space.
All hope is lost. The United States sets the timer on the nukes to count down
They stop the nuke in time when the Other Armadillio arrives (Surprise, A.J. is
not dead). It drills away, and they drop in the nuke. The timer is screwed and
won't work. They pull straws, and A.J. Win's or should I say Looses. Harry
takes A.J. Down to the surface to do the deed. Harry yanks out the Oxygen hose
in A.J.'s space suit. He takes the detinator, and does the job for him. So his
daughter and A.J. can marry and live happly ever after. The comet blow's up and
the shuttle lands on earth... With about 1/3 of the original crew.
Back to Movie Reviews!