My heart and soul barren and empty Drained by the efforts to win your heart To hold on to your so-called love All I'm left with now is pain
Everyone told me it would never work They all said I was crazy..it was crazy..you were crazy But I naively laughed it all off "He's so perfect for me" I stated confidently Not knowing of the monstrous lie I was telling
For infact..you were not perfect for me at all As I look at you now..not through love-blinded eyes I see a very imperfect being..one who seems to share nothing with me So I keep looking..hoping to find the one who was perfect..the one who loved me But sadly..he is nowhere to be found..and I weep for my loss
The loss of my perfect companion..my destiny, I used to think But in the middle of my tears..I stop to think and become angry Angry at my perfect one for not being so perfect Angry at him for realizing what I should have seen from the start
The lone sad fact that I have yet to confront The fact that there was nothing there at all As I say these words I break down and cry For I realize that the sole thing I put all my heart and soul into doesn't exist A mere fantasy..a mere dream
So I lay down and tears roll down my face as I close my eyes I shut my eyes hard and pray to wake up from this dream..no..this nightmare The worst kind of nightmare imaginable The kind that teases you with heaven in the beginning...but leaves you burning in hell
I sit up and dry my tears..determined to save myself from this hell I'm trying so hard to not feel anything..to numb the pain But the sharp stabs of torment continue to wretch through my heart I walk dazed into the kitchen and slowly pick up the knife
Stabbing the blade one good time though his perfect picture, I laugh..mostly from insanity Wishing he could feel my pain..join in my personal hell But then..I step back and look at his face and start to cry again No, I scream, No.. I don't want him to hurt..I love him..
My mind is always spinning like this now..from love to hate..hate to love I wish I could decide who he is to me..my angel..or my demon Is he going to come save me from my torment...or prolong it?
But there are no answers to these questions now
For I must continue my dream
Continue seeking the truth about what my "destiny" really was.. or who he was, that is.......
