Open Adoption Really Works

Kcoffey374@aol.com

I was 16 when I got pregnant. The bdad and I decided together with our parents to go ahead with adoption. I had to take special classes once a week through my school which really helped me a lot. It was a parenting class. It made me realize how much work babies are and how I couldn't raise a baby right now. I was in the band, drill team, french club, SADD, Key Club, choir, and I worked part time at an ice cream store. I didn't have time to eat let alone raise a baby. My school was very accommodating to the pregnancy. They let me come in late because of Morning sickness. I did have to move out of my house because my mother was really putting a lot of pressure on me. I moved in with my cousin who was also pregnant to help her out, and cos my doctor said I had to get out of my house. I did everything I could. I did band, I helped with the drill team, I was active in my clubs and still worked. I even went to my homecoming dance! Things we great until the bdad decided he wanted to start dating someone else. That hurt. A lot. But eventually he came around again when the baby was due. I had been seeing a counselor at Catholic Social Services who was a great help to me throughout the whole time. SHe kept my spirits up and helped me make all the plans and arrangements. I was due on Good Friday, and my water broke at 3 AM on Easter Monday. MY all time favorite moment was calling and hearing the bdad'd dad fall out of bed and stumble down the stairs to get Chris... I got to the hospital at 4 and at 6 they discovered that she was breech and that they would have to do a C Section right then. I got a spinal (which I DON'T recommend) and then at 747 AM Justine was born. My mom held her where I could see her. I didn't see her for 12 hours later because I had had some pre-eclampsia and had to be watched and so did Justine. That night I had 15 visitors and we had a big party. The staff knew my plans and did everything they could. I did not have the apars at the hospital at all the whole time I was there. I was there for 4 days. I still remember holding Justine when they first broke the news of the Oklahoma City Bombing... The bdad and I said out tearful good bye on the Thursday, and then the apars came and picked her up I think an hour or so afterward. The next morning my mom and the bdad and his mom and I met with the adoption counselor and signed the papers. That was VERY hard. But I did it and don't ever regret it. I got her original birth certificate with the name I gave her, Ashley Louise Bowling. I don't remember the visit schedule we had the first year, but I got a letter and pictures every 3 weeks. I am her godmother. We get together every month now since they only live 20 miles away. I am now married with a daughter of my own who will be a year on the 23rd. Justine was just the flower girl in my wedding. I have my moments with feeling down... who doesn't. But I am very happy and love every minute I spend with Justine and her apars. Justine knows that I am her birth mother and that Sharon is her sister. They are so cute together. But things are good and I wouldn't change anything for a million dollars.

Jenn

When I was three and a half years old, all seven children were removed from the home for neglect. We were all adopted except the oldest two. They were returned to the home later. The youngest child, a girl, had to be moved to the second home for adoption and her records were immediately sealed. The rest of us all grew up knowing why we were adopted and visited a few times with most of the siblings. My parents adopted two of us and their best friends adopted my older sister so the three of us were very close. I found the sister with sealed records in April, 1999. The birth parents are deceased and if I had not found her, she may never have known that she has six brothers and sisters! In Missouri if the birth parents do not put a release of information in the record before they died, the record remains sealed forever! One sister has had cancer and a reoccurrence and another one has had a 5-way heart bypass and is a severe diabetic. She averages 2 times per month in ICU. The sister I found would never know that these illnesses run in the family. After my first child, we adopted two children, half brother and sister. They were 2 and 4 when we took them. They also grew up knowing the story and knowing where about their birthmother. These open adoptions caused no problems but did help us as adoptees. We did not grow up with the questions: where did I come from and why was I adopted? We knew and felt that we were indeed chosen and blessed. Debbie

debw526@yahoo.com

Email: lexie597@aol.com