THE AMAZING HYPER CONDENSED VERSION OF HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLUHD PRINCE

Some Old People: OMG VOLDEMORT KILLS PEOPLE
*FORTRESS OF EVIL*
Snape: AM I AN EVIL SPY OR A GOOD SPY DOES ANYONE KNOW OR INDEED CARE
*token HARRY'S HOUSE scene*
Dumbledore: SUP HARRY
Harry: SUP
Dumbledore: WANNA DEFEAT EVIL
Harry: YOU GOT IT
*SCHOOL CRAP*
Harry: WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
Ron & Hermione: WE ARE IN LOVE BUT WON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD
Harry: I SEEM TO HAVE ACQUIRED A SUDDEN TASTE FOR JAILBAIT
*MORE SCHOOL CRAP*
Dumbledore: HARRY YOU MUST GATHER THE SEVEN CRYSTALS TO DEFEAT VOLDEMORT
Harry: I WILL GET THE POWERUP AND WIN THE GAME
*STILL MORE SCHOOL CRAP*
Ron & Hermione: OHHHH CAN YOU FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION BABY
Harry: I MUST NOT KISS GINNY I MUST NOT KISS GINNY I MUST NOT KISS GINNY
Ginny: HI HARRY
Harry: (kiss) OOPS
Ron: IT'S OKAY DOGG RON ABIDES
Dumbledore: HARRY I NEED YOU TO COME HELP KILL ME
Harry: K
*WORLD 1-2*
Dumbledore: KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH THIS POTIOOOON
Harry: I AM FILLED WITH SORROW BECAUSE OF DOING THIS
*BACK TO SCHOOL*
People: ZOMG DEATH EATER MARK
Draco: HOW DO I SHOT WEB
Snape: IT TURNS OUT I AM IN FACT AN EVIL SPY UNLESS THE NEXT BOOK SAYS OTHERWISE
Dumbledore: FLY YOU FOOLS (dies)
Harry: WARRRGH WAGE
*Harry FLIPS OUT and KILLS PEOPLE*
Snape: I AM THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE
Harry: UH K
* Snape has left #hogwarts
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Locket: BTW DUMBLEDORE'S DEATH WAS POINTLESS (ALSO: MYSTERIOUS INITIALS)
Fans: WE WILL DISCUSS THIS ON THE INTERWEB FOR YEARS
*AFTERMATH!*
Bill: I AM THE TOKEN MAIMED GUY BUT IT'S OK COS I GOT BOOTY
Tonks: SLIP ME ONE YOU HOT DOG
Lupin: WELL SHUCKS
Hermione: OH RON CONSOLE ME WITH YOUR TONGUE
Ginny: YOU TOO HARRY
Harry: NO CAN DO BABE I AM NOW A LONE HUNTER WITH THE VENGEANCE AND YOU WOULD ONLY GET HURT
Ginny: ;_;
Harry: WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY I WON'T FORGET UNCLE DUM
*BUY BOOK 7! COMING! EVENTUALLY!*