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Morgaine
speaks:
~~~After Avalon disappeared fully into
the mists, and I with it, I took my role as Lady of Avalon, and ruled
as the High Priestess I was destined to be. We were cut off from the world,
from the Christians and their priests and their terrible bells; we were
cut off from the people we were directly linked to. I could never visit
the grave of my aunt, who was more a mother to me than Igraine herself;
the former Lady of Avalon, Viviane, rested in a grave on the island of
Glastonbury. My beloved brother, Gwydion, whom everyone save my family
knew only as Arthur, was laid to rest in Avalon, and I visited his grave
often. Rarely did I weep for him, though, lest I curse what gifts the
Goddess had given him in death. I missed him well, and still do, as I
miss Galahad, whom everyone save my family knew only as Lancelet, or Lancelot
to the eastern dwellers. It was long that I sat on the Tor and thought
over my past, allowed myself to feel pride in some things, and complete
sadness and shame in others. And in my shame, my thoughts would drift
to my son, Gwydion, whom was later named Mordred; the son of what the
Christians called incest, but in truth the son of the Great Marriage,
and the son of deception. If anything, I felt bad for my brother, who
I knew would have to know that one of his newest Companions was his only
son, and not only that, but the son of his sister. The story has been
twisted, but the truth of it is that my brother and I knew who we were
after we had fulfilled the Sacred Rites...I should know, I was there.
Many say he never found out that the woman he was with that night of Beltane
was his own sister until Mordred came to court, but no, we found out the
very next morning, after we had been together again as woman and man,
and not Goddess and God. I always felt shame when remembering that part
of my past, but still I loved my brother, and I loved my son, though I
had nothing to do with him.
~~~There was no one to succeed me in Avalon,
no young priestesses who were even close to being able to become the next
Lady of the Lake after I was gone, and so I prayed to the Great Raven
that she would bless me, and hold my age so that I might rule until another
could rule after me in Avalon. The Mother Goddess answered my prayers,
and she halted my aging. While each year I acknowledged that I was a year
older, my body never aged, but the Sight did age in me, though not as
fast as it normally would. Even now I wait for the priestess who is capable
to be the next Lady, and it seems my own personal maiden priestess, Eilan,
is the only one capable.
Long after Avalon disappeared and the Christians were done celebrating,
saying, "The Pagans are gone! God and the Holy Virgin Mother have
blessed us and taken away those heathen Pagans from us," a man named
Rilley came forth, with powers beyond the Sight, and took Avalon from
the mists and moved it further south. He brought us back into the world
of men, and told me the news of the past twenty years. He was the High
King of Britain after Gareth, who was High King after Arthur, and he was
a follower of the Old Ways. I couldn't have been more happy to hear that
a Christian king had not been set upon the throne, and just as happy to
hear that he had not a Christian wife, like Arthur's Gwynhwyfar, who the
eastern dwellers called Gwenivere. Rilley had not been married yet, and
there was worry going through the kingdoms because the people did not
want another case like that of Uther Pendragon, who came to throne without
a son. Rilley and I became fast friends, and I was to him like Viviane
was to Arthur; a teacher, a mentor, a friend, and later like a kinswoman.
It was the next year that I partook in Beltane, and the unimaginable happened.
The Goddess blessed me with a quickened womb, even when I knew that I
could bear not another child after Gwydion. I was like the woman the priests
talked about in the Bible, who was barren, yet conceived at the will of
their God.
~~~It was during the time I bore the child
that Rilley and I became like kin, for he was always by my side, and would
often caress my forehead like a child until I fell asleep. After nine
months of carrying, I finally gave birth to a beautiful girl that I named
Adrienne. Unlike Gwydion's birth, it was easy and fast, with much less
pain. I could have cast her forth like I wanted to do with my son, but
I knew she was a girl, and I knew she was from the Goddess, so I dared
not go against her will. I was never able to suckle my son, since my aunt
Morgause took him from me quickly to foster him herself, and so to make
up for that, I suckled Adrienne. It was more magical to me than carrying
her and birthing her, since I even did not want her. As soon as she was
old enough, I sent her for fostering at my childhood home of Tintagel
in Cornwall, where she grew up with the Duke and Dutchess, two sisters,
and one brother. I never asked for her back so that I could teach her
to use the Sight and of the Old Ways, since I knew that they were not
relevant in her life. The Goddess had given me a daughter, but not for
reasons that involved Avalon in any way. I admit now that I miss her not
much. I never knew her save as a crying babe, and have seen her only a
few times since. The last I saw of her, I wedded her to a man of Avalon
named Mikilo.
~~~Avalon has been long back in the world
of men, and mists no longer shroud the Sacred Isle, except the normal
mists that creep over the surface of the Lake in the mornings. I travel
not often away from the Isle, but it is necessary for me to do so now,
as the High King, my dearest friend Rilley, is ready to wed his love,
a woman named Synfire Soest. I have made it a point to find out if she
is Christian or not, and to make sure that none of Rilley's Companions
are Christian. All is well so far, and the future is in the hands of the
Goddess. And I, Morgaine, who was called Morgaine of the Fairies when
I was a child, Lady of the Lake now, and will be later called Morgan le
Fay, will be the hand in which the Goddess uses to shape the future, as
it has been, and always will be.
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