The Perfect Roleplay

Intro. Mr. Perfect is preparing to cut another perfect promo. Lillian Garcia is standing in the studio waiting for Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig to arrive. Mr. Perfect walks down the hall. He stops into the studio.

Mr. Perfect – Can we start this damn interview?! I am on a perfect schedule you know.

Lillian – Well ok since you put it so nicely.

Mr. Perfect – Excuse me? Are you being sarcastic? Are you trying to get wise with Mr. Perfect? I don’t like smartasses! Particularly smartasses who can’t sing for their life! Particularly smartasses who dress like a cheap slut, and try to get their fame off interviewing an athlete of my caliber! You don’t deserve to interview me Lillian Garcia! But out of the goodness of my perfect heart, I’m going to let you interview me anyway. Now start! And don’t screw up or its over!

Lillian – Well it is Wrestlemania week and on RAW you have the night off. Is this because of any pre-match butterflies in your stomach?

Mr. Perfect – What the hell are you trying to say?! I’m Mr. Perfect! I don’t get butterflies in the stomach. I am the greatest Intercontinental champion who ever lived! Do you honestly think I’m afraid of Stone Cold Steve Austin and Scott Hall? What you’re looking at right here, ..it doesn’t get any better than this! I’ve seen a lot of guys come and a lot of guys go! Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, The Ultimate Warrior. I wasn’t afraid of those guys, and if I wasn’t afraid of them, how can I be afraid of Steve Austin and Scott Hall? Quick answer….I CAN’T!

Lillian – Well you know Scott Hall very well. You were tag team championship partners in the AWA and were both members of the original New World Order.

Mr. Perfect – Let me tell you something about Mr. Scott Hall Lillian! See he may be the Intercontinental champion now, but before I found him, he was just another bum! I took him, and carried his career on my back. I made Scott Hall. I taught that man everything he knows. But I didn’t teach him everything I know. I stand for wrestling, and that’s what I do better than anyone. Scott Hall, you are a creation of mine. I gave you your start in wrestling, and you know it! But I brought you into this wrestling world, and I can very well bring you out of it! I’m Mr. Perfect, I am what I say I am and that’s Perfect! Scott Hall, you are not Perfect! You are far from Perfect! When you make your last defense of that coveted gold belt at Wrestlemania Sunday, you will go out at the hands of Mr. Perfect! At least there is no shame in losing to the greatest of all time. Wrestlemania is the renewal of the Perfect Intercontinental championship title reign. When I once again wear that shiny gold belt around my waist, it will serve as a reminder to all that Mr. Perfect is back again and here to stay! Scott, I am going to take Perfect to a whole new level, and you are going to be a victim of the Curt Hennig experience. It is going to be, long, hard, draining, and painful, because I am going to kick your ass from pillar to post, from turnbuckle to turnbuckle, and from corner to corner. You may think that we were friends Scott. You know what though? I never liked you! I took you on as a bet! I had a bet with my dad that I could turn you into a champion. I did that, but weak opposition was a very big help with that. Come on Scott, who have you ever beaten? Steve Austin? It’s a start. But you are not ready for someone the likes of Mr. Perfect Scott Hall! I know that people are thinking right now that you made yourself, the reigning intercontinental champion, but as long as you know that it isn’t true, and I know that it isn’t true, you can never call yourself a champion until you beat me. So right now, you are a lifelong contender, but you will never be a champion. I am going to make an example out of you. You’re going to learn the hard way about messing with perfection, and its ultimate and final destiny. It is my destiny at Wrestlemania to “threepeat” winning the Intercontinental championship. It is how things are supposed to be! No one is going to take that right away from me! No one is going to take that away from Mr. Perfect! I’m Mr. Perfect! There is no better wrestler than a perfect wrestler! Who am I Lillian Garcia?

Lillian – Umm Mr. Perfect?

Mr. Perfect – You’re damn right! I’m perfect in every way! The perfect body, the perfect mind, and the perfect record! There is no one else who is perfect! Superstars may come and superstars may go, but only one of them is perfect, and its me, the greatest athlete, the greatest wrestler, that the World Wrestling Federation has ever produced! My style is impetious, and I always have the perfect strategy. Wrestlemania is the big one, it sets the standard for all other Pay Per View cards. This is going to be no different! I am going to give the fans exactly what they paid for! That is an opportunity to witness Perfection in action! I am going to give the word greatness a new meaning by cementing my spot in the Hall Of Fame! So old man Flair, Scott Hall, Steve Austin, and whoever else disagrees, I’ll be happy to prove you wrong at Wrestlemania.

::Ric Flair enters the studio as Mr. Perfect has a pissed off look on his face::

Mr. Perfect – Flair?! What the hell are you doing here?! This is my interview time damnit! Its not yours, get the hell out of here before I kick your ass!

Ric Flair – I’m sorry Curt, am I interrupting something? I didn’t think anything important was going on since you were here. Now anyway, I came to bring you some good news. The title match for Wrestlemania is booked, signed, sealed, it’s on! And I think you’ll be happy to know that the fourth competitor in the match will be Chris Jericho! WHOOOOO!

Mr. Perfect – (As Flair is leaving) Damnit Flair get your old ass back here! What the hell? Where does Chris Jericho fit into this? This was supposed to be the perfect triple threat match! Its not supposed to be a fatal four way! Damn you Flair! You old bastard I’m gonna get you back!

Lillian – Well getting back to our interview, what about the number one contender Stone Cold Steve Austin?

Mr. Perfect – Another freeloader who has no right to be in this match! Did you see what happened to him against the Outsiders? He got his “Stone Cold” ass handed to him in pieces. I don’t know how he can be ranked number one contender for that championship when all he does is lose! I’m undefeated! I should be number one contender! Not him, me! I deserve it! He is a no talent waste of money, and the only reason he is here is because he has pull with old man Flair! I earned my spot here! I worked my ass off for it! If I was here for the Royal Rumble, I would be the WWF champion right now! He got his ass kicked by Bret Hart, a guy who isn’t even around anymore because he was to scared to come back when he heard Mr. Perfect wanted in to the WWF again. Austin, you think you’re a bad-ass by drinking beers, swearing, and attacking defenseless owners like Mr. McMahon, a man who hasn’t even had any professional training? You’re dead wrong! You’re not a bad-ass, you’re a foul mouthed bully with a drinking problem! I’m going to beat that out of you at Wrestlemania! You see, being absolutely perfect is my game. Being a drunken brawler is yours. This is WrestleMania, not barroom brawl mania! It’s a wrestling match. It’s not a drunken brawl started by someone making a comment about who can drink more than who! So when your hick-ass is unprepared for an ass kicking at Wrestlemania, and the morning after, you’re hung over in the emergency room, complements of Mr. Perfect, you’ll know that you don’t belong in the World Wrestling Federation, once and for all. You see its no talent brawlers looking to make a quick buck who have given wrestling a bad name! I was born into this business. I wasn’t raised, I was bred like a dog to become the best wrestler on the planet, and you know what? I am! I am never going to let up on the ass kicking I have planned for you! You made a mistake, and a big mistake, deciding to step into the ring with Mr. Perfect. I can outwrestle you any day of the week and twice on Sundays. However, if you want to mix it up and you want to have a fistfight, I can run faster, I can jump higher, I can do anything better than you! They don’t call me Mr. Perfect for no reason! I back up everything I say! There never has, and never will there be another wrestler like me! Stone Cold, fans may love you and think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but all the boys in the back and myself know exactly what you really are, a scared little boy with a sailor’s mouth and Texas sized chip on your shoulder. They call you the rattlesnake, well I would have to disagree, because I will de-venomize your scaly ass at Wrestlemania.

Lillian – What about you and your friend Kurt Angle’s ongoing battle against Stephanie McMahon and Kronik?

Mr. Perfect – Kronik is the last thing on our minds. After the ass kicking we gave them on Smackdown, I don’t see why they would want to come back for a worse beating. Kronik, paybacks are a bitch, and so is your manager. Stephanie Mc Slut, or McMahon, or whatever your cheap, whorish, and especially imperfect name is, I don't know why you decided to turn your fake ass on us, but rest assured, we don't forgive, and we don't forget. So when you see those two muscle bound monkeys Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke, getting their asses perfectly handed to them, don't bitch and moan, and don't even try to come back to us, because broads like you are a dime a dozen. Your home has been wrecked more times than a trailer gets flipped by a tornado. Adams and Clarke, you guys have been called human tornadoes. The only resemblence to a torndao that you show me, is that you have your collective heads in the clouds. And when you have your heads in the clouds, you guys don't have your feet on the ground! When you have seen on tornado, you have seen them all heh. You see a tornado never really does any damage. All a tornado is really good for is, picking up some dust, and well....turning over a few mobile homes on the Florida panhandle! Remember this! Nobody beats Mr. Perfect....NOBODY!!!Excuse me Lillian, but I have to continue my perfect training regimen. WHOOOO!!!

::Mr. Perfect leaves::

::Segment ends::