A Gamma World Hell Hole

A Gamma World® play-by-post adventure run by gammaworld_gm

Chapter 37: Starport Vignettes

gammaworld_gm

Xxi Service Robot

The robot stops, shocked. "You would really shoot me? That thing could really hurt! It might even put someone's eye out." It looks at Chuck's laser pistol. "Stop pointing that at me!"

The robot puts the bat behind its back, looking as innocent as any robot holding a baseball bat can. "What chick? All I see is you and Fido."

Kramer

"Shoot him, Chuck... shoot him now! What are you waiting for?" he barks, "I suppose we are going to talk this out too!" He sighs. "Shag one chick and you lose your nerve."

GM

Music with full stereo surround sound continues playing inside the gift shop. A very deep ancient voice sings:

Love is a burning thing
And it makes a firey ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire

CHORUS:
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire

CHORUS

The taste of love is sweet
When hearts like ours meet
I fell for you like a child
Oh, but the fire went wild

CHORUS (x2)

And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire....


gammaworld_gm

Xeva

"Hi Ryhn, I'm Xeva. Well... for a lizard lady, Xervian carries much better when she is unconcsiouz. You can have one of thoze Mark VII blaster rifles, if you want, Ryhn. Hell, you can have them both. I have no uze for them."

GM

One by one, Xeva drags the soldiers' bodies around the corner and hides them in a closet. Returning a few minutes later, she takes Xervian by the ankle and walks, dragging her behind her.

Xeva

"You comin', porcupinz girl? We needz to hide her somewhere. Did you knowz there iz a 10,000 domar reward for Xervian in Datil? I'm willing to splitz it with yoz if yoz can help me get her there. Whata' say? Yoz in or out?"


gammaworld_gm

GM: Elephant Butte Lake Interlude

There are these two ducks hanging around beside Elephant Butte lake, a lady duck and a gentleman duck, and it's the mating season. The male duck starts prodding her with his beak and she says, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Haven't you any subtlety?"

The male duck, called "One-of-Seven" says, "Oh, don't you want to, then?"

She says, "Well, not here, there're people watching. Let's go to an Elephant Butte duck lodge for the afternoon, like everyone else."

One-of-Seven says, "Where's a duck lodge, then?"

She says, "There's one there on the other side of the lake. Don't you know anything?"

So they fly across the lake and plod into the duck lodge and she says, "Go on, ask him for a room."

So One-of-Seven says to the duck receptionist, "Quack! We want a room for the afternoon, please. We're on our honeymoon."

The duck receptionist says, "Certainly sir; room 22, here's your key."

So the ducks get in the lift and go up to the second floor and let themselves into their room. No sooner have they got in there than One-of-Seven starts prodding her with his beak again and after a while she says, "Hang on a minute. You got a condom?"

"Waugh?" One-of-Seven says.

"A condom! I'm not going to do it without a condom."

"Oh. Well, er, where are we going to get one?"

"Haven't you had any education?" she says. "Ring room service and ask them to send one up."

"How do I ring room service?"

"Dial 0 and ask for room service!"

So he knocks the receiver off the hook, prods the 0 on the ancient phone with his beak and asks for room service, and when they answer, he says, "Quack! I'd like a pot of tea for two, some scones, a couple of slices of cake, the evening paper, and, er, a condom."

"Certainly sir," says duck room service. "That'll be with you in 10 minutes."

So the ducks hang around for a few minutes looking out at the lake, and then there's a knock and the duck lackey comes in with the tray. He puts the tray down on the table, fishes something out of his pocket and says, "There's your tea, sir, and here's your condom. Shall I put it on your bill?"

"Certainly not," says the duck. "What do you think I am, a pervert?"


chuck_webber

Chuck

Chuck speaks telepathically to Kramer, "You are right my little furry friend!" Chuck opens fire on the Service Robot.


gammaworld_gm

GM

With no feeling of remorse, and urged on by Kramer, Chuck fires a single laser burst and it instantly burns a hole straight through the defenseless Xxi Service Robot's vulnerable midsection.

Xxi Service Robot

The robot gasps in disbelief, drops the baseball bat and lowers to its knee joints. "O great mother board.... He shot me in the integrated circuits. Why me, O great mother board? Do I look like I'm a pimple on society's ass? Don't take me offline, mister sneak thief," it emits, resentfully. "Oh the inhumanity of it all."

Kramer

"This is a lot like sex and rhubarb pie: they both get old after about the third time in a row, Chuck. Much like this robot's whining. If you're not going to finish him off, then get me one of those candy bars!" He barks. "Oh Chuck, my psychic radar senses another female nearby."

GM

Music with full stereo surround sound continues playing inside the gift shop. A different very ancient voice sings;

I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy.
I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy.
All around in my home town
they're trying to track me down.

They say they want to bring me in guilty
for the killing of a deputy,
for the life of a deputy.

But I say
I shot the sheriff but I swear it was in self-defence.

But I say
I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy.
I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy.


chuck_webber

Chuck

Chuck says aloud, "Boy that was close!" He places his blaster in its holster. "Another chick around here? Sounds good to me." Chuck pauses for a moment, thinking of shagging again. Then he pops back into reality. "But first let's get anything we can use outta this place. You want a candy bar? What else?" Chuck begins to look around the gift shop for items and food he might need.


gammaworld_gm

GM

Walking over to the candy bars, you (Chuck) scan the wide selection. You see at least a dozen kinds, several types of gums, colored sun glasses, key chains, wallets, hats, pocket knives, gloves, post cards, rubber knives, rubber toys, and a multitude of stuffed animals and shelf knick-knacks.

Kramer

"Yes, yes... that one," he says telepathically, when Chuck touches the Baby Ruth bar. He wags his tail excitedly.

Xxi Service Robot

"Hey! That's our most expensive candy bar," it blurts, but then sees Chuck touch his laser pistol. "I uh, I uh mean, nice choice, sir."

GM

Walking behind the counter, you find dozens of kinds of cigarettes, bags of popcorn and potato chips, dozens of music CDs, portable CD players, small hand-sized digital tape recorders, cameras and binoculars. You pop open the cash register and it coughs up about 35 domars. The robot glares at you but remains silent.

Kramer

"Gimme, gimme, Chuck," he barks, still excited.

GM

Music with full stereo surround sound continues playing inside the gift shop. A different, very ancient voice sings:

"She's totally committed
To major independence
But she's a lady through and through
She gives them quite a battle
All that they can handle
She'll bruise some
She'll hurt some too
But oh they love to watch her strut
Oh they do respect her but
They love to watch her strut

Sometimes they'll want to leave her
Just give up and leave her
But they would never play that scene
In spite of all her talking
Once she starts in walking
The lady will be all they ever dreamed
Oh they'll love to watch her strut
Oh they'll kill to make the cut
They love to watch her strut

Yeah love to watch her strut
Watch her strut!"


chuck_webber

Chuck

Ready to blaster that damn robot again if it tries to stop him, Chuck grabs the loot out of the cash register. He picks out the best pair of binoculars to take and also grabs the DAT recorder. Thinking to himself, "These items might be useful in some of the strange situations I get myself into."

Kramer

"Gimme, gimme, Chuck," he barks, still excited.

Chuck

"Ok, Kramer! A Baby Ruth it is!" Chuck grabs a handful of Baby Ruth bars. He places them in his pack with the binoculars and DAT recorder. Then he grabs another and throws it to Kramer. "Here you go, boy"

Kramer

"Thanks, Chuckie boy." Kramer eats the whole thing, wrapper and all.

Chuck

"Calm down, Krammie," Chuck says, checking out the robot to make sure he is behaving. Then he grabs the best pocket knife on the rack. In fact he takes 2 of them. Then, he gets the coolest pair of sunglasses. Chuck puts them on right away. "The chicks won't be able to resist me now!"

Kramer

Kramer barks in laughter.

Chuck

"Anything else you think we need, Kramer?"


rhyn_gw

Rhyn

Xeva

"You comin', porcupinz girl? We needz to hide her somewhere. Did you knowz there iz a 10,000 domar reward for Xervian in Datil? I'm willing to splitz it with yoz if yoz can help me get her there. Whata' say? Yoz in or out?"

Rhyn ponders the situation for a moment. "Tempting, but I'll take the guns and not say a thing about this."

good get the guns

Rhyn grabs both of the Mark VII blaster rifles and grins.

firepower

"Good luck, Xeva."


gammaworld_gm

GM

The last word from your sister Liska was that you (Liara) were to meet her at the abandoned Albuquerque Starport. That message is almost a week old. You entered the 49 mile long ancient San Matoe Mountain tunnel almost a day ago and you still continue walking in the darkness, your eyes having adjusted to the dim light for the most part. The semicircular San Matoe tunnel is about 80 feet wide and half as high. The tunnel walls are cracked and broken in a few places, but for the most part the tunnel is in good shape, considering its age.

The tunnel opens up to your left, revealing two wide sets of metal stairs going up (i.e., ancient escalators). An ancient blue grav-car in good condition can be seen about thirty feet away with its hood open. Close by is another junked grav-car. A third green grav-car, or what's left of it, can be seen just beyond the end of the tunnel, apparently having crashed most spectacularly. Light emanates from the metal stairs.

What do you do? Investigate the cars? Go up the stairs?

[YANG (Yet Another New Group):

--ed.]

frei_abel

Frieda

GM

Resting on the medical bay table, Lamia smiles and relaxes as Frieda attends to her, putting an IV in her arm. Lamia's smile seems almost infectious and she doesn't even flinch with the pain of the needle.

Lamia's smile relieves her immensely. She had never inserted a needle into a person before, and even with Victoria's guidance it seems much harder than it looks. Lamia's green skin makes it more difficult, as Victoria informs her to look for a blue-green vein---not easy to find on a Gren!

Lamia

"Well, it didn't take long to find you a job, it seems. I didn't know you were a physician. The way you ordered Jonn out---you're really in charge in here. That's quite a change from when I last saw you.

Frieda

I'm not a physician, but it seems I know a little bit more about this than anybody else around here.

Lamia

"I've always liked you, Frieda. Even from the first moment we met. Sometimes it's not easy to find your niche in a diverse group like ours. I was like that once not that long ago. I also had mixed feelings about my future and struggled with what I wanted to do with my life. I decided to remain with those who cared for me, because in this harsh life we lead, all we really have are our friends.... Have you ever really been in love Frieda?"

Frieda

Frieda pauses. Her experiences with Jonn and his clean and honest love for Lamia just don't mesh. "Sorry about Jonn, but he wasn't going to leave on his own and he's needed elsewhere. That loyalty---he has this kind of nobility about him. It's like he's from another time. That reminds me, do you remember the man with the cape who helped carry you? That was Dr. Templeton. He's more pure strain than I am---he came from the 19th century!"

Lamia

"Wow! What a way to avoid a question! You made that up, right?"

But before Frieda can respond, the door opens and Jake and Geo enter, Geo carrying an apparently lifeless shell of a pleasurebot.

Jake

"Missy, when you finish with Lamia, I need your assistance with a cyborg cranial repair. Do you think you could also assist us, Geo?"

Geo

"Jake, I think you have me confused with an R2 unit."

Victoria

Various free sensors scan the newcomers and a robotic camera hanging from the ceiling above Lamia swings around to inspect Geo's cargo.

Frieda

At the sight of the cartoon-proportioned robot, Frieda gasps. There is no mischievous humor in Jake's eyes this time, though, and she realizes what he wants to do. Still, it seems like a joke. "You mean for Joshua? In that? You've got to be kidding." Jake shakes his head no.

Lamia

Lamia twists around to get a better look. It only takes a second to read in their faces what this means. The explosion she heard earlier from the ship hit K-11, and it must have been bad.

Frieda

"So he's still alive then?" Frieda asks.

Jake

"Yes, ma'am, but his body is gone and without senses, his mind won't last for long."

Frieda

"But in that?? Jake, are sure you want to do that your son? There's got to be another way."

Jake

Jake takes another look at the overtly sexy shell of a robot and with a frown, shakes his head. "No, but it doesn't have to be permanent."

Frieda

"I don't know, Jake." Then, switching to German, speaks toward the console on the desk, "Victoria, is there anything you can do?"

Victoria

"I don't do cyborgs, honey, and I'm having enough trouble with your green friend," Victoria answers, "but I can probably take care of your Joshua for a while---he can borrow some of my eyes." The med-lab AI then turns part of her attention back to her computations on that robot shell, comparing the processor requirements for herself with known cyborg diagrams she borrowed from the ships computer.

Frieda

"Hmmm." Switching back to English, Frieda says to Jake, "Victoria says she can take care of your son for a while, but I don't think there's much we can do here. A T3 unit could do it and we need one anyway, if there's any hope for Liska. Geo, does this Starport have anything we can use?"

Geo

"Certainly, Missy. A Starport must be equipped for any emergency---space is a dangerous place."


gammaworld_gm

GM

Jake casts a glance at Geo and walks across the room to look at Josh's brain case, making sure it is properly powered. As long as it is powered, Joshua's brain will last indefinitely, but to what end? Unless it is installed in a cyborg body, he will never speak again. Frieda walks over beside Jake and looks at the brain case.

Jake

Removing his sunglasses, Jake hangs them from his shirt pocket. His jet black eyes examine the readings. "Keep all the power reading numbers above 45%, Missy. If you didn't know, I once designed and built cyborgs while I lived in Area 61 up until I was placed in the cryogenics containment lab on September 16th, 2309, as were my wife and children. Sometime during my cryogenic sleep, my wife and children must have been awakened from their sleep and their brains extracted to create new cyborgs. 162 years later, here I am. Joshua is family; I don't want to lose him." Jake's eyes for once show the grief that he usually hides so well. He places his hand on top of Frieda's hand and holds it there lightly for a moment.

"Maybe you are right about the pleasurebot body, Missy." Jake puts on his sunglasses. "One schweetheart is enough for this ship. If you need me for anything," Jake smiles pursing his lips, "I'll be in the cargo hold."

Turning away, he heads to the door. "Come'on. You're with me, Tin-head."

Geo

"Jake, as you well know, I am composed of silicon, duralloy and a positronic matrix of a standard issue K1B-Service Robot with MP1 modifications," Geo says matter-of-factly. "Very little of that is tin, and very little <beep, beep& of the tin is located in my cranial attachment."

Jake

"Sometimes you're so funny, little buddy."

GM

Jake and Geo exit the medical lab, leaving Lamia and Frieda (i.e., schweetheart) alone. They go to the cargo hold.

Lamia

"Now that your Jake is gone, where were we? Oh, I remember now, that question you avoided...."


gammaworld_gm

Kramer

"Geeze, Chuck, don't you ever get enough? I think we should go elsewhere and explore. Don't forget my bunny either!" Sniffing the robot, Kramer trots over to the door and waits for Chuck to open it.

Xxi Service Robot

"Hey mister thief... er, sir, what are you going to do with me?"

GM

Music with full stereo surround sound continues playing inside the gift shop. A different very ancient voice sings a rap song:

One dark night I need some ins
I got a spot cased out I'm breakin in
I gotta cutter that'll cut thru ya window like butter
Suction cup, window up
Now I'm on the inside lookin for some loot
38 special I don't wanna have to shoot
I ain't no young, raw fresh recruit, uhh
Steel tote boots, black khaki suit
A real quick search and nobody's home
just like I planned, now I'm home alone
I hope ya don't mind if I use tha phone
and fix me sometin to eat before I'm gone
I got the servant and the china, deuce-five and the 9
Rolex off the desk so I can tell the time
No one knows where the flow goes when the 'dults crow
you better take some no doze
Now I'm out tha back with a sack fulla goods
throw it in the truck, take it back to the hood
Let me be brief, I'm on the creep
I stole the sounds out'cha jeep, it takes a thief

CHORUS:
Oh yeah! It takes a thief
Yeah yeah! It takes a thief


cpt_leghorn

Captain Leghorn

Looking at Jonn, I joke, "I say, I say there, Jonn, you know why the Pure Strain Human crossed the road? To get to get to the Oadesta Chicken Factory! Har, har, har." Penny and our two chicks, Raggy and Little Bit, cluck with laughter. "Lighten up people, you'd think all you blokes caught something, standing around here like non-posters. <brooock>"

"Penny, Jonn is my best friend." Reaching out to shake Jonn's hand as he reaches for mine, I jerk my hand back. "Har, har, har, fake out!" Penny and our two chicks again cluck with laughter.

"I say, I say there Jonn, I say we track down these wiley Mages and if they try to take off, we give em' an ass full of laser. Any volunteers for a heroic sacrifice?" Dead silence follows.

Jonn

"I want---"

Captain Leghorn

"Hush, human, I'm doing my ancient Yul Brenner in The King and I impression! What's the matter, Jonn? Can't stand to see someone outshine you? Sometimes I look scary to less advanced species."

Kicker

"Would you kindly shut your noise-hole?"

Raggy

Raggy winks at Kicker.

Kicker

"Ugggh!" She slaps her forehead.


domonhu

Mycinod

Trying to hold in laughter, I address Leghorn. "I say there, Leghorn, did you know that the ancient humans used to worship your early ancestors? They were called Colonels after a special place of worship they had, and unless I am mistaken, there might be one located here! Care to join me in a visit? We can even take along a picnic lunch." I step back to watch the feathers fly.


jonndukas

Jonn

Jonn winces as the lights come back online and then several more times with Leghorn's and Myc's quips. He clicks off his flashlight and takes a shallow breath. Leghorn continues to relish his family's attention and struts his stuff like a proud rooster.

Penny gives Jonn a passing smile. "Well that's enough thanks for one day," he thinks. Jonn is actually proud of ol' Red, though he doesn't know why. He sure likes him better when he's not in a funk.

His PSH attention soon falls down on the Mystic Mage trembling at Myc's feet. "Nice job, Kicker, Myc. Dude doesn't look deadly up close," he comments to Myc, but there could be more Mages about still. And...

Howard

"Dukasth! How'sth Lamia?"

...Lamia. His soul flutters. Stiles will have to wait longer.

"Listen up crew... ma'am," he nods toward Penny, "Geo and the others are still holed up in the ship," he pauses, thinking that he's missed someone in the count, but he pigeonholes the nagging thought, "and Lamia's under Frieda's care. I admire your bravery Leghorn," he winks at the Roosteroid, "but we've already seen what one Mage can do to us, so I suggest we don't go asking for trouble. Rather, let's rendezvous back with the others at the XJ1. I think the ship has a secure room where we can question this guy, and Geo can contact Gallus from there now that the power is back on, to see if the situation is still dangerous below."


chuck_webber

Chuck

Xxi Service Robot

"Hey mister thief... er, sir, what are you going to do with me?"

"Nothin' I am just gunna leave you there." Chuck grabs the bunny for Kramer and puts it in is packet. Speaking telepathically to Kramer, he says, "I almost forgot about your bunny. You know the thing biting me in the ass and all...." Chuck begins to daydream about his recent sexual encounter. "OH, so where should we go now? You said you smelled another chick around here? Show me the way, Wonder Dog!"


gammaworld_gm

Xxi Service Robot

"What? You're leaving me here alone, after you shot me in the integrated circuits? Take me with you, mister gift shop sneak thief. I can learn to dis authority figures just like you do."

Kramer

"Oh no, Chuck, you're getting that glazed look again. I'll lead the way; you follow. That way you won't get confused, Chuck, with all that blood leaving your brain suddenly. Plus, these songs are giving me a brain tumor." Once the gift shop door is open, Kramer heads outside.

GM

Music with full stereo surround sound continues playing inside the gift shop. A different very ancient voice sings:

When I was a lad and Ole Shep was a pup
The hills and the meadows we roamed
Just a boy and his dog we were both full of fun
We grew up together that way

I remember the time at the ole swimming hole
When I would have drowned beyond doubt
Ole Shep was right there to the rescue came
He come and he help pull me out

Now as time rolled along Ole Shep he grew old
And his eyes were fast growing dim
And one day the doctor looked at me and said
I can't do no more for him Jeff

With his hands that were trembling I picked up my gun
And aimed it a Shep's faithful head
I just couldn't do it I wanted to run
I wished they would shoot me instead

He came to my side and he looked up at me
And laid his ole head on my knees
I've lost the best friend that a man ever had
I cried tho I scarcely could see

Ole Shep he has gone where the good doggies go
and no more with Ole Shep will I roam
And if dogs have a heaven there is one thing I know
Ole Shep has a wonderful home.


liara_ironclaw

Liara Ironclaw

First off, Liara begins to investigate the cars. She starts to sift through them. "God, Liska, please don't be in any major bad mojo, or it'll be like Settle (a.k.a Seattle) all over again. Damn."


gammaworld_gm

GM

Standing around together, the group (Myc, Kicker, Howard, TwoDucks, Ironcat, Jonn, Leghorn, Penny, Raggy and Little Bit) seems very happy to see one another. Finding Leghorn's family is one mission that has been successfully completed.

Captain Leghorn

"Come with us, family. Wait 'til you get a load of this flying chicken house we live in."

Mycinod

Myc checks to make sure that his prisoner is tied securely. "I say we get 24th century on his ass until he talks, Jonn!"

Darien

"Ulp! If you're expecting me to answer that, then I'm dumber than you think I am!"

Mycinod

"Shaddupp warm-blood!"

Captain Leghorn

Proud of his newly found family, the Roosteroid walks over and places his arm around Howard. "Howard, my squatty little web-footed buddy, what, I say, what you need to do is find a female duck in a bad relationship. That way, you do nothing and still look good by comparison. Just a good tip from the Roostermister. So Dodge, you like being Captain?"

Howard

Howard considers backing away slowly and avoiding eye contact. "I'm beginningth to feelth the Capthain's itch," and also the urge to mate, he adds privately.

Captain Leghorn

"I'll get the powder, Howard," he clucks his tongue. (Add canned laughter here.)

Howard

"You're dethpicable," he spits several times. "P-tooey! P-tooey!"

Kicker

Kicker says to Ironcat, "After they met him at the factory it became apparent that he was a jackass, or so I was told."

Jonn

"We can visit later, troops," he says, repeating himself, "Let's rendezvous back with the others at the XJ1."

Raggy

"I want, I say I wanta be just like you, Jonn, when I grow up," says the small male Chickoid walking along beside Jonn and looking up at him. "Only better looking, like my father." He gives a thumbs-up.

GM

Myc pulls the Mystic Mage prisoner Darien Maxium along as everyone heads back to the XJ1. Without any trouble, the group returns to the ship, closing up all the hatches as they enter.

OOC

GM Tip: Whatever the cause, assume the character to be dead or hopelessly lost and disabled, but never tell the player what happened to him. Just darkly hint every once in a while---even for days after the game is over. You'll be impressed by the change in respect people have for your GMing skills!


gammaworld_gm

GM

Rhyn snatches up the two power rifles and walks with Xeva for a short distance. One rifle has 3 shots left and the other has 4 shots left.

Xeva

"I'm a very generouz person, Rhyn," she says, dragging the limp Xervian along by the leg. "I once gave blood yoz know?"

Rhyn

"Whose blood?"

bitch

Xeva

"Some guy'z."

GM

Xeva approaches the elevator and pushes the button. As the doors open, she pulls Xervian inside by the leg and looks at Ryhn.

Xeva

"Yoz comin' or yoz stayin', Rhyn?"

GM

If Rhyn says she's going with Xeva, then Xeva waits until Rhyn enters before pushing a button. If Ryhn says no, then Xeva pushes a button and before the doors close, Xeva says, "Ciao, baby!"


gammaworld_gm

GM

Climbing inside the grav-car, Liara reaches across the front seat and pops open the dash. Inside she finds a hair brush, an ancient interstate map, some keys, and an ink pen. Digging under the seat, Liara finds a solar flashlight and one road flare. In the back seat Liara finds a well-used sweater. From the trunk, Liara hears some type of noise, and pauses for a moment to listen to it, but she can't identify it.

What do you do? What do you take?


chuck_webber

Chuck

"I ain't bringin' no damn good-for-nothin' robot with me. Kramer, show me the way!"


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