Out of Character Complaints and Comments
You know the scene well, it's late, you've been gaming for hours, and sometimes
the conversation turns from the act of roleplaying to commenting on the events
in the game out of character, or players make comments out of character for
Players conversing while eating tostito's and bean dip...(we won't get into
"What do you call it if a half-elf has a kid with a human? I
mean what are they called? Are they human or elf?"
Two players in unison: "Quarter-elves?" We laughed until we were
sick....it was late is my only defense.
During an extensive argument between two fighters about who was going to
Magic-User: "You know what? I just ram this wand of magic missiles
down my throat and set it off."
DM: "All six missiles?"
Magic-User: "Every last one of 'em. And I'm gonna do it again
if I live and am able to say the command word."
I'm ashamed to admit that this happened during one of my games:
Player pausing in mid-roleplaying-sentence: "And would you please stop licking
the d4's and sticking them to your forehead? Other people have to touch
those you know. We all can see you're bored, <name not entered to
protect the guilty>. It's not my fault you stayed outside. Why
make us suffer, huh?"
Guilty player's rebuttal: "Just hush and keep talking to that man..go
on..get everyone killed. That's why I'm out here sticking d4's to my
head. But......you must admit....this is impressive isn't it?" <We
won't get into the number stuck to his head.>
DM: "Where's my orange d20 ?" <my favorite die....I can't understand
why my players hate it so much and become so irritated when they begin speaking
Player <highly irritated>: "Oh, yeah, find your damn death die."
Another player: "Yeah mister "Death Master," what's wrong with
that blue one there?
DM: "I just like the orange one."
First player: "There it is over there. But I rolled it six or
seven times while you were gone." <seemed very proud of that fact>
DM: "Hand me six more d6 please."
Player 1: <highly alarmed> "Why?"
Other players: <frantically scanning and flipping over character sheets>
DM: "Just hand em to me."
Player 2: "No! Wait!"
DM: <began straining and reaching for dice>
Players: <laughing, screaming and grabbing as many dice as their
grubby little hands could get>
DM: "I'll be damned! Move!"
<physical fight began over dice>
DM: "Fine....give me eight more."
The players relented at this point.
Player after being stuck on a slave ship for two weeks: "Oh my God,
can you imagine what we must smell like?"
DM: "No worse than usual I'd imagine."
Things deteriorated rapidly after that
First Player: "Please tell me there's another entrance besides the
friggin' front door."
DM: "Yeah, I told you there's that door at the back."
First Player: "Good we'll send the thief around back to see if
Second Player: <meant in referral to his occupation>
"Yeah...we all know he likes going in through the back door." <taken
completely out of context and the laughing that followed was quite
Player annoyed at a smart aleck but powerful NPC: "What if I just bitch
slap him right across the face."
DM: <picks up dice> "Is that what you do?"
Player: <laughing> "Naw, man...just playing."
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