If Severus Snape Could Fly
By DJ Verits
One day Severus Snape was walking along the corridors when he decided to be productive and invent something.
"Maybe a flying potion?" He wondered aloud.
So Snape ran into the dungeons to prepare the ingredients he'd try.
"OK so, a potion to fly...I'll need to combine a lightweight potion with a steadying potion."
(Used when you're really sick or drunk to steady yourself. But in this case to make it easier to fly)
"And...what else? Maybe some boomslang skin just to spice it up! Oooh! And some mint! taste is important!"
So Snape got all the ingredients into a big pot and cooked up a potion! It had to simmer for a week though so we'll have to go forward into time...
* * *A Week Later* * *
"My potion is ready!" Snape yelled happily as he got a big spoon and started to try it.
"Wait! I'd better try it on something first!" He picked up the nearest living thing (which happened to be Trevor the Toad) and poured some down it's throat. Trevor licked his lips and then began to float upwards.
"It works! Yipee!" Snape then ate some himself.
"Yum! Glad I added that extra mint flavour!" He started to drift upwards. He tried going a little higher. Then a little lower, then forward. Then he flew out of his dungeon and up to the Great Hall.
"Look Dumbledore! I'm flying! Yeah! I have achieved my ultimate goal! Whee!"
Dumbledore looked up from his lunch and smiled at Snape.
"I guess he'll finally be a happier teacher now! Neville won't have to be afraid anymore!"
"I'll never have to teach bratty kids any more! Yay!" Snape yelled, while circling the enchanted ceiling.
"What about us?" One of the Slytherins yelled upwards.
"Who cares about you? Hah! Ha ha ha!! Cya! Wheeeeeee"
About an hour after Snape had left Hogwarts he realized that he needed to get some more potion so it wouldn't wear off and make him go 'SPLAT!' So he flew back to Hogwarts double time!
He reached Hogwarts and quickly and silently flew to his dungeon grabbed a magical bottle and put the flying potion into it. the magic bottle could hold any amount of any substance except Veritaserum or love potion witch gave it a weird bumpy feeling before shattering. Snape flew out of Hogwarts and flew back to his place double time! He was there in 15 minutes.
"hey I'm getting pretty- Uh oh! A giant muggle bird!" A plane was coming right towards Snape! He swerved and caught onto the wing of the plane.
"Maybe I should have paid more attention in Muggle Studies when I was in school!" Snape yelled to no one.
The people in the plane started to notice the oddly dressed man holding onto the wing of a plane and started getting frantic.
A woman inside turned to her young son and said, "That's what happens when you don't eat your veggies Michael!"
Snape was starting to slip. The wings weren't exactly flying-potions-master friendly. He mumbled under his breath, "Sticura mesa" and he immediately had a better grip on the wing. He climbed onto the top
of the wing and edged closer to the body of the plane. A girl watching him mouthed to him, "what are you doing?" Of course he paid no attention to her because there were bugs in his teeth.
"uh oh...geese...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" A bunch of geese flew towards Snape.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" They didn't do anything to him but he has a strange fear of geese!
Snape swatted at them fiercely and so much that it made the Sticura mesa spell wear off!
Into the Plane
The spell having worn off, Snape begin to fall to his doom! But thankfully for him the flying potion hadn't. Snape flew up from under the wing and grabbed onto the other side of the wing! Cheers resided from inside the plane and the passengers clapped at his brave feat! He whispered 'Sticura mesa' and again he stuck to the wing of the plane. He knew he wasn't supposed to use magic in front of muggles, but this was a life or death situation!
All the geese were gone now so he wasn't scared. He went up to the body of the plane and climbed on top of it. It was a bit windy but if he ducked down than the air smoothly flew over him. He wondered where this muggle plane was going? Snape altered the spell to make it last until he said the undo spell and he made a small bubble around him so he could move around freely and not worry about radar. (which he didn't know about but the spell covered anyway)
* * *HOURS AND HOURS LATER* * *
Hours and hours later they plane started to descend and Snape woke up from his dream of flying again to horrible pain in his ears.
"owwwwwwwwwwww! What is happening to me?? It feels worse than drinking some horrible potion made by Longbottom!" The plane finally landed and the pain eased. He was in California! "It's sooo HOT here!" He shouted as he undid the Sticura spell and opened the bubble, took a sip of his flying potion and flew off the plane and high into the sky. He made his cloak disappear (he still has his Robes people!) and that cooled him off considerably cooler. He saw a beach below and decided to cool down down there! He flew down fast as he could to avoid people seeing him and going to the police and getting him in trouble with the ministry.
He went towards the water once he landed to go wash the grease out of his hair, it was making him hot.
Snape's in California!
With his hair cooled off Snape was much happier. He took his hair out of the water and shook around like a dog. He walked out of the beach area (I guess Californians see weird stuff everyday!)
And thought as he entered the city, "I don't think I'm in England anymore."
There was a really big hill as he turned away from the beach and it had something on it. (Can you guess where he is?) Snape squinted at the big shapes on the hill and saw that they said.........Hollywood!
Now Snape, being very un-muggleish didn't know a single little thing about Hollywood. He did know
his geography though and Hollywood was NOT in England and *NOWHERE* near Hogwarts. This was good thing though, Snape needed a holiday away from all the screaming kids at the school but he didn't really want to take it at a Muggle resort!
Snape began to walk down a big hill (with a sidewalk) to a giant building that had many people gathered around it.
"A muggle attraction," Snape said with a sneer, "maybe I ~should~ check it out..."
So Snape walked across the street and into the crowed of people. He accidentally bumped into someone.
"HEYYYYYYY!!! What are you doing yo- Severus? Severus Snape?" It was a lady about Snipe’s age
that had obviously known him at some point.
"Ronnie?" Snape asked.
"Yes, it's me!" The lady-that-knew-Snape-at-some-point-named-Ronnie squealed with delight.
Snape broke into big smiles and hugged her lovingly.
"It's been so long! Want to have some coffee and catch up on the times?" Ronnie asked.
"S-sure Ronnie," Snape stuttered. They walked away from the crowd and went to the coffee shop two stores down from the crowded place.
Now, since Ronnie and Snape know what's going on, I think my readers should as well! When Snape was going to Hogwarts he was a little different than we know him. Even though I know there are Snape worshipers out and about, I'll just put this in the perspective that Snape is a mean old teacher. Well, Snape was in his 5th year and he was in a detention with the potions master at that time, he had to clean out the jars that suspended those nasty things that are in Snape's office now. He had done something very very very bad. He had also got 50 points taken from Slytherin. Getting to the point he was finished cleaning *EVERY SINGLE* jar in the potions masters classroom and he was going to go to the Slytherin common room washroom to clean up when he bumped into a beautiful girl from Ravenclaw.
Snape was covered in slime and other indistinguishable nasty stuff and Ronnie was in nice and clean robes and looked as if she was coming in from the greenhouses. But she hadn't a speck of dirt on herself. Snape was on the floor gaping at the girl across from him when he realized that it would be gentlemanly to offer to help her up.
"Uh- uh...would you...um" He started, then he just stuck his hand out for her to grab. She grabbed it quite thankfully but Snape wasn't quite ready and was pulled down onto her.
"Ouch," she said.
"Ah!! I'm sooooooooo sorry! Didn't mean...I...sorry can I-umm..." Snape wasn't sure what to do, he wasn't used to this kind of situation. But Ronnie didn't respond, she just sat and laughed her head off. "I-don't understand...what's so funny?" Snape had asked.
"Just HAHAHAHA just.. HAH! Nothing! Hey weren't you in my broomstick flying class in the first year?"
"Yeah I think so actually, Veronica was-is your name? Correct me if I'm wrong."
"Ronnie," She responded.
They hung out together forever...or at least for a month then Snape had the guts to ask her out. (being so nice and generous and pretty He wasn't sure why she wasn't already going out. Oh well) She said yes than they went out until the beginning of their 7th year Ronnie was a transfer to Beaubaxtons and they eventually lost contact. Snape was heartbroken.
Now! Back to the story!