10.06.04
Figured I'd throw some pictures up, assorted ones from the Applefest, and my babe and I. Good stuff, methinks. I loves her so muches. And you know what's great? Having friends as mine, who aren't caught up in the average teen trife (OMG HE HATES HER SHE'S GOING OUT WITH HIS FRIEND OMG OMG)... ahh, so funny. I'm looking at you, Toledo kids.

I found the ultimate first first poem from Creative Writing last year, that's up too. No title. And, I threw another, "Mother", up - apparently I never did.

10.05.04
So, I'm back with some more trash. Added are the following - "Down to Earth", "The Reckoning", "Animal Lessons", and "World of Red". The last is a resurrection from over two years ago. It's quite amusing. The others are creations of Creative Writing. See, out of relative apathy (partially due to the new class-pairing system implemented at the time) I put the class down on my ideal schedule... and hey, they put me in it again. Works for me, I don't mind not getting one half credit. I'd take writing over, uh, some other class.

In other news (which I am sure you care deeply about), I've begun work on a book I hope to finish before the end of high school - roughly, that pits a bit more than a year and one-half. The story revolves around a boy and girl born into their families and practically preset lives - rich and poor, respectively - who meet each other through high school and together begin to understand the way their society works. Each kid experiences evils and wrongs, in their families and at school. I'm not sure how to end it, maybe they'll run away together after school ends or maybe they'll die or whatever. The thing is, that'd probably require their suicides, something I don't intend to put in the story. All I know is that tragedy always strikes people harder, which is why I'm split. As Ryan (a friend) told me once, the fact that I'm in high school myself may help mold a more authentic view.

That said, I've got big hopes for this and my writing in general.

6.12.04
Woo, Emo kid update! Arr, seems Laura fell asleep on the phone while I was brushing my teeth. Get your sleep babe.

This resulted in me working on some crap I've scrawled down. "The Lotus Eaters", "Instinctual Mechanics" and "Perfect Strangers Back in Time" are my babies of the night.

3.04.04
Uploaded "The Last Supper" and "The Leaf", things I Wrote a good while ago for Creative Writing. Also, added "A World Behind the Words", "Our World's Great Secret", and "System Failure". They're .docs, so you're gonna have to download 'em. Word files just own so much more than crappy text ones - in the future every poem should be in .doc form.

I also added a few pics from the past month and a half, too.

3.03.04
Well, kids. It's been a long time since I've updated this, I'd even say before moving to the trailer park. It should be noted that things are a lot better now, and that is easily seen in my recent writing. Thanks to all who have helped me out since August '03 - it was an extremely tough time for me. I can still remember the moment everything hit rock bottom... shivering in bed, fearing your mom might kill herself... however, I'm beginning to understand her. With that, my anger has subsided (if just a little).
Hell, I'll just make a list.

- Mitch, for completely opening my mind to many things
- Ryan, for being his usual ridiculous self and keeping things comical
- Brian and Kyle, Euro. History was and still is a fun class because of my favorite Jew/Internet Pimp duo
- Mrs. Rausch, had I not had Creative Writing to draw feelings and thought from myself at such a chance time, I don't know where I'd be. She's a good teacher as well.

Asheron's Call people:

- all of JNC. I harbor no resentment towards any of you. Thanks for letting me into the guild, I'm sorry things worked out as they did
- Dem, you've been cool-headed when everybody was knee-deep in BS (Which regretfully includes myself) . You are not a person I will soon forget due to your generosity and kindness
- Xan, I must thank you for being the one who first set me on the path to where I am now... enlightenment and understanding. Thank you
- Zoltie, thank you for trusting in me and helping me. You've got nerves of steel, old man!
- Iroc, same reasons as Z. I hope you're not angry at me for what happened in JNC

Most of all:

- My stepdad, Jim: Though I know he won't read this, he is the effin' MAN. He never gave up through the most hellish days to keep a roof over our heads. I will return the favor one day, as you are a great father to me. You have sacrificed so much for the well-being of my mom and I... I only fear she does not see it like I do.

- Laura: Meeting you in September (At the Applefest) helped me more than you know. I really needed the fun - thank you for using your Birthday present on my friends and I. Watching you and Ryan hit eachother with rubber bats in front of St. John's was classic. Had I the chance to relive those few hours we spent, I'd be so much warmer. I'm also really glad you came up in January. Though I feared it'd be a disaster, it was a wonderful time. Absolutely wonderful. You brought me a life-changing moment. The same goes for coming up again in Febuary just now. I'm so sorry we didn't do much, but having you in my arms is plenty for me. I only hope it is for you, too.

You never gave up on me... I love you so much m'dear, and I WILL repay you. No matter where we go I will help you with anything.

Anyway, it's 3 AM on a school night. I'm glad I typed this though... to my crappy portfolio of chicken scratch, random thoughts, and terrible music!

Creative Writing... again!

Down to Earth 9.28.04 - This was originally a few stanzas in my bank of random thoughts and lines. I couldn't produce a completely new poem the night I had to do this, so I looked in there. To my avail there was something quite fitting. A few changes, additions, and a, uh, intriguing sorta title and I came up with this. In essence, it's a parallel of what is and what could be; the continued downward spiral we're in, and just why I think the way I do. Or something.

Part I: The Reckoning 9.15.04 - This here is my first poem for my little, uh, second term. The Part I deal is ideally one of three describing how I feel about the last year of my life, this one marking about this time (July-November) last year. The similarities are obvious between my first from last year (Watching the Pieces Crumble), but mostly that was coincidental. However, I've been given a year and this is a much more reflective viewpoint on that whole bit of my life.

2004 Writing (Whoo-ee, self-inspired!)

Animal Lessons 9.13.04 - This was a candidate for my first assignment in CW that didn't quite make the cut. It's quick and, not really that great IMO, but it makes my point quite clearly.

Perfect Strangers Back in Time 6.12.04 - Just read, it's a pretty odd style for me.

Instinctual Mechanics 6.04.04 - I wrote this right after finishing my final exam in Lit and Comp. It was inspired due to the questions on the test over Lord of the Flies that seem to put words in your mouth... I just ignored all the crap they teach but then you have to do multiple choice and that kinda isn't possible, unless you're willing to sacrifice the grade. This kind of expanded into how we fight futily for what we think is right, and we don't have any perspective of the other person's view, and how we'll never figure it out since it's in our instinct and blah blah... Politics played a role in this, I love the stupidity of the modern "We're teens growing up on left wing principles. Let's hate Bush!" trend.

The Lotus Eaters 5.09.04 - I've just added bits and pieces to it since then. I still don't think it's too finished, might end up becoming an epic.. that'd be nice anyway. It's about how we try to run from our problems using certain devices (This was started as a condemnation.. err, big word... to alchohol due to personal experience). The Lotus Eaters were people from The Odyssey that lost the will to return home or do anything when they ate the tainted lotus... on an island. Everything in The Odyssey takes place on islands, you know.

A World Behind the Words Originally written 1.19.04, countless revisions after - You shouldn't have a problem figuring out who this is about. Hehe

Our World's Great Secret orginal writing 2.29.04 - Still a work in progress. My intent in writing was to show how instinct has been erased in our world... based on a recent experience of mine.

System Failure Major Revisions 3.02.04 - Easily the cockiest thing I've ever written, lol. It deals with a startling realization I had in Biology one day, and my desire to break away from the world's standard of doing things

Crap I wrote in Creative Writing (best class ever)

The Last Supper I'll keep tweaking this until I die -- This was a rather supernatural story I wrote detailing the need I feel to get away from the family - not mom and Jim, but my mom's side. They're negative, stuck in the past, and shut off to anybody's ideas but theirs. I have a feeling they'll just drag me down. The story itself is a prediction of how they'll be in a few years. I love the title too, as it relates on so many levels.

The Leaf - This was originally a quick thing I wrote since I was missing a poem for my Creative Writing portfolio. I think it came out fairly well. It's based off going with Mitch to his brother's football game one night, with the result being that my stance on drugs was totally changed.

Burning Books (inspired by Rush's "Witch Hunt") - Describes the anti-Paganistic sentiment in America today and long before. I wrote it, like Neil Peart of Rush, with the intention to show that we still have witch hunts, they're only more subtle. Heck, I feel as if I drew from his work TOO much... but hey, it's an awesome song.

Mother Originally 9-10ish-03 - Surprise, Surprise! Angst in the form of an Italian Sonnet. Due to some particular actions at the time, I readily spewed out an angry rant directed toward mom at the time. Although, I can't fathom this stuff now.

Gay Black Aliens from Mars (as of 9-20something-03) - A sarcastically-titled diddy about every breed of hatred in the world, with the running theme of color. Oct. 04 note: Lol, while I don't disagree with the point, I was in a bout of "self-righteous liberality" at the time.

A Burning Heart (as of 9-18-03) - Looking back on it, it's just another version of "Watching the Pieces Crumble". More depressing crap. However, there's a difference... it was when I was beginning to feel an inner passion to beat out this hardship, hence the title. (Credit there goes to Xan though, as she has an AC character named "Burning Heart")

Watching the Pieces Crumble (9-10-03) - Written during the start of our "Autumn Hell". I just found out we had to move - Looking back, there's no way I could write stuff so depressing today. This poem was also unnamed for awhile; retrospectively, what I picked was perfect.

Untitled (8-26-03) - The first thing we did in the class. I'm not sure what was on my mind at the time (aside from a Dream Theater song that inspired the words), but it's interesting. Kinda repetitive, though.

Crap I wrote during Summer, at like 5 AM
WARNING: This stuff really sucks. It's not much different from your average teen angst poetry, stuff I wrote during July-August mainly. Oh well, if anything it shows how much I've changed. Plus, "Early Morning" is still a decent narrative if a bit preachy.

Like Father Not Son - Written about my father and how he left

Early Morning - A storytelling account of an abusive home. First poem I wrote of these

Unity (Not finished) - A distressed bit about the rich/poor gap we have. Funny how I only wrote "Losing our house" as a rhyme at the time.

Classmates - The product of growing anger towards the rich, whiny kids in my school (and anywhere, really)

Al North (Not finished) - About Gramps. Not something I'd write in a million years, now. "The Last Supper" more accurately describes my ideas about him. Note October '04: And to think, the man is dead.

Pictures that AREN'T old

My monitor one year after the last picture

Me, I think

My "clueless girl in an AP class" face

Faces of looove

Innt shay cute

Ryan eating a muffin

RJ getting pummeled with a plastic array of assault weapons at the Applefest

Pictures

Me and Laura... I love this pic (and her of course) so much | 2: January at the bowling alley |3: Laura and Nikki | 4: Why so sad? | 5: Oy, betta

My monitor, the only one in the world like it |

Laura left her hat at my house, er trailer. Wee!!! - I think I look like an orphan in 1900s England, you know, those kids who did petty jobs for people to get food

My favorite musical instruments - Can't go wrong with a 12 string acoustic and a telecaster!

Me, in deep thought haha

I look Jamaican in this one

If I smoked pot, I'd probably be like this more often

Another boring side-view pic

My true love, the '82 Fender Telecaster - Note 3.04.04: Well, it was my former true love.

If I ever go deaf, this amp will be part of the reason

Miscellaneous crap, like drawings and music

Early stages of a guitar solo - Note 3.04.04: Wow, this sure does suck. I didn't know any music theory at the time, so I didn't really know what I was doing. Plus, you can hear Asheron's Call sounds in the backround the whole time lol. Oh well, it's kind of funny

Evil Sounding Riff - Note 3.04.04: This isn't too bad, still. It was done around October; it's on my small amp so the sound is kind of crappy.

If I was a Demon General leading the most monstrous armies from the pits of hell, this is the weapon I'd use

The Anime-ish incarnation of Callisto Ashus I plan to use for a story of sorts

When the situation calls for some arse-kicking, the hair style changes... (I redid the hand since it was messed up; you can't hold a gun like that. I'm just too lazy to scan it again)

Old crap

World of Red 5.12.02 The oldest piece of writing I have, at least on this computer. Ahhahaha! I yoinked part of a line for A Burning Heart, or Watching the Pieces Crumble, though.