The opinions expressed in these pages are my own and are not officially recognized by any other group. To the best of my knowledge,

there is no copyrighted material used in this website without permission. Consult your physician before reading this site. Batteries not included. May cause drowsiness.

Must be over 17 months. Not available in all states. Not responsible for acts of God ( or other Higher Power). Prices subject to change without notice. Proof of purchase required. Read label before using.

Some assembly required. Not responsible for typografical errors. Some restrictions apply. Subject to regional regulation. Warrantee period limited. Close cover before striking. No resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended. Subject to availability.

No P.O.D. Sales tax not included. Shipping and handling extra. For external use only. May cause excitability. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this web page. If symptoms persist, consult your physician.

Keep this and all software out of the reach of children. Parental guidance suggested. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product. In case of irritation, flush eyes with cold water and consult your doctor.

Not insured by the Government. Use with adequate ventilation. Avoid repeated or prolonged contact with skin. Contents under pressure; Do not puncture or incinerate. Store in original containers.

Harmful if swallowed. Do not fold, bend, staple or mutilate. No fur-bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this document. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. Return for refund where applicable.

Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Batteries are included -- best of luck finding them. Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use.

Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness.

CAUTION: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people.

Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Not to be combined with other radioisotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. The truth is out there. Use no hooks. Not intended for use by children or politicians under the age of five. Printed on unrecycled endangered dead trees and we're proud of it.

PLEASE NOTE: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is not directly observing this product, it may cease to exist or will exist only in a vague and undetermined state.

~*~