Each breath we take
Each mistake made

Like the falling rain
Clear, as it runs down glass
Dirty, beneath its viewable surface

Are our lives
As 20 million people tune into…
“Days of Our Lives,”
The world continues to turn
Fully equipped with the latest in-
Sappy melodramatic background music

There should be no regrets in this life
Because there’s only one to live
And one heart to give
It’s all we have really.

Those “old” people on the streets 
Do not fear them, 
Because in just a matter of time, 
We will all be them

Fully equipped with…
Wrinkles, bifocals, pills, and dentures
Funny smells, bed pans, clammy hands, and pinchers.

That’s what the end of the road holds,
As everyone at one time or another has been told.

So, I’ll try my very best, 
To enjoy this life

*******************************************************

A creation of my mind, 
It is a nonexistent misery,
That exists.
Sometimes I close my eyes,
Take a deep breath in,
Wait, no I wish I could, 
Actually take the time to, 
Close my eyes and breathe deep,
Into sleep, 
Because most nights my mind is racing,
With a million thoughts, 
And I feel like there are a million things, 
Left in this life to pursue, 
I need something to do. 
But eventually I close my eyes,
Because I know I need sleep,
Because insomnia is not the answer,
And my mind wants to race faster.  

******************************************************************

Moonlight shines
Through the clouds, 
In the dark of night. 

Watching the clock
Trying with all my might
To end this inner fight

Then I close my eyes again
In the attempt to sleep
It’s misery
As the clock strikes 3

Hours pass
Just like the sands
In an hour glass

The sun has risen
I’ve lost the perfect vision
That was my temporary world
Away from the world

**************************************************

I want to be preoccupied with something
In the attempt to forget distractions
I want to bury my mind in intellectual endeavors
In the attempt to forget about boys
I want my iced cappuccino to sit for a while
So that it is extra tasty the next time I take a drink
I want to grow old without plastic surgery or diets
So that I can die the natural way
I want to not care what other people think
And be as weird as I truly am without the guilt of society
I want to sleep without setting an alarm
While my hair dries 
And then wake up a few times before falling back to sleep
Because that is one of the best feelings there is
I want to live like every day is the last day
And I want to give my all for a friend in need
And I want my friends to be there for me

*****************************************************************

“I’m okay, really.”

I’m okay really, 
You keep trying 
To read between my lines.
And I’m really okay, 
Trust me, 
I must be. 

How can I not be okay, 
I heard from you  today, 
I’m not sulking from something petty, 
And from the past
Those memories weren’t meant to last.

So, please believe me, 
When I say I’m okay. 
Please trust me, 
Because everyday is now a great day.

So, take me or leave me,
I’ll be okay, 
There will be another day, 
I’m okay. 

************************************************

Snow flakes
Fell so beautifully
On the streets
As street lamps
Shined so bright

I reached my hand out
Closed my eyes
And grasped 
A shooting star

Held onto it
In the dark
Yet illuminated 
Sky

I let it go
It flew so fast
It was gone for good
But at least it heard
My wish

****************************************
He’s sitting at the mirror-
Age 14, black hair, and glasses.
His father beating on the door,
His mother crying "No more!"
Why won't all this pain just go away?

Another life, another situation...
She's sitting on the park bench,
Looking at her tomato sandwich,
Contemplating whether 
She should take another bite.
Age 28, been to clinics,
Now a college graduate-
She’s taking steps
To regain her strength, now up to 100 pounds.

As he sits in his bedroom,
The light barely shining through his window,
Everything is black.
What does he see?
What does he think?
As the tears roll down his face,
He stops and says,
"Why my life? 
Can I end this pain and strife? 
Find a better place?"
His skin remains uncut this time, 
But what about next time?

She drops her sandwich on the ground,
As she turns to a Lazarus ad in the paper.
Smiling faces, skinny frames, and flawless skin--
She almost chokes and then thinks,
"Why can't I be that thin?"
Then she snaps out of it,
As a bus passes by.
She takes a look at her frail and bony wrists,
And then she starts to cry.
She goes home, and she makes a chocolate shake,
Drinks it, then passes out on the sofa.
When she awakes,
The faces are staring up at her...
From magazines such as 
Allure, Cosmo, and Glamour.
She puts them under the coffee table,
Out of her sight,
And turns on the television.
She sighs, and switches it off,
Just as quickly as she turned it on...
"Baywatch is on again."
So, she grabs a book,
And starts to read, falls asleep...
When she awakes the sun has set.
She knows that tomorrow is going to be 
Another battle.

The boy
Turns on his radio
To block out the noise,
As his mother screams, and his father throws bottles.
"Oh great…It's Celine Dion,"
The boy says under his breath.
He switches to some Creed, and then a little R&B. 
He tries to think of many things,
Of what his life will one day be.
He thinks of Sara, his crush,
And how he always makes her blush.
He thinks of his future, 
Of baseball, and he pets his dog Tizzy. 

She wakes up, a new day,
And she is late for work.
She must struggle to keep her job.

He wakes up, walks through the hall,
And sees a few bottles that were shattered,
On the wall...

The sun has risen, just like it does each day,
We all have our struggles, 
But must learn continue on our way. 
Through the darkness,
And through the rain
Not always a happy ending, 
But without disdain. 



******************************************************************

Twist,
With a slight click, and turn.
Twist off the cap,
Of the bottle, 
Feel the burn. 
40-years-old, starving artist,
Roaring 20's.
Standing at the bathroom mirror,
Tensions mounting, self-mutilation,
A pressure cooker,
Are his hands.
As they look for something
To grip.
A mirror in front,
A sink beneath,
A gaze out the window of
Apartment #45 C,
Fourth floor, third door,
On the right.
A brick wall, dusty panes,
Dried insect display case,
Cob webs, and a yellow tint.
What a view,
A brick wall that offers no escape. 
The officer enters.
"Where did he go this time?"
A woman down the hall
Shakes her head in confusion.
The officer laughs,
"He's probably at the country jail…again."
Apartment #45 C,
Fourth floor, third door,
On the right.
The officer is about to leave,
Then he turns towards the bathroom.
Water begins to seep on the floor.
Flashback,
2 hours, 20 minutes, 1 second.
Standing in front of the mirror,
Pressure mounting,
Broken glass, blood, and pain.
No one understanding,
His life on the line,
They would have been there
In due time.
Wanted my the mob,
For things he said he didn’t do.
Just trying to escape, 
That's what he said.
Click, with a twist, 
Feel the burn,
No escape either way.
A man, alone, 40-years-old,
Destitute, roaring 20's, brick wall view
Broken glass, and water, seeping
Through the bathroom door.
Red tinted, full of pain,
"Did it have to end this way?"
The officer says, 
As he sighs calmly.
The woman at the end of the hall sighs,
Her face already showing
Stone-like qualities, gray,
Understanding in a way. 
The officer scribbles something down,
In his book, case closed, body bag on the way.
A man, 40-years-old, 
A life, unknown, a story
Untold. 
Down the street the Great Garbo
Sings.
As the music,
Swings.
One pair of eyes look out
Across the water.
At one light that shines
A world away.
Out a window
Which is right in front
Of a picture
Framed, and hanging on the wall. 

*******************************************************

“Lost”

In an instance, 
I’m lost in a dream
With no escape.

Things just aren’t the same,
And I wonder 
What is to blame. 

I fell asleep,
Entered into a dream. 
And you were there, 
As real as real life. 
But there was something hostile, 
Something ominous in the air.

The next night you came to me again,
These dreams just wouldn’t end. 

Except this dream was different.
You are laying next to me,
It is a couple years down the road. 
We smile at each other,
Then you say you have to go.

So, I close my eyes, 
Then open them, 
And you aren’t there.  

I’m still dreaming though.
Where did you go?

I wake up from the dream, 
And I’m missing you. 
Just as I was missing you before. 

There has to be a reason 
I’m having these dreams, 
Yet, there isn’t always, 
A reason for everything. 

So, sweet dreams and farewell
I’ll be seeing you when I close my eyes.
  
 ************************************************

“Tempted”

We are tempted, 
By the opposite of what we are. 

We are tempted, 
I hope this doesn’t go too far.

Tempted, 
It’s such a dangerous word
It makes you, 
As curious as a cat.
Hungry for a rat. 

Temptation,
In a moment it invades your life,
And you ignore all that friendly advice.

You keep standing closer to the edge,
Ignore the warnings, 
Jump off blindly…
Land in the rapids,
Test the waters, 
Somehow survive,
It’s amazing you are alive. 

We all become tempted, 
And our cares are lifted. 
Become intrigued, 
And where you end up,
Depends on destiny. 

*************************************************************

“Stop”

Stop looking that way,
You look. 
With your eyes all sad, 
Or your face so mad.
Or with puppy dog eyes, 
Hoping I’ll sympathize.  

And when you’re looking my way,
I don’t know what to say. 

Stop looking the way you do,
It’s confusing me, 
It won’t let me be. 

Keep looking the way you do.
It’s really not that bad,
And I really like it, 
No matter how hard I hide it. 

***********************************************

 “Attention”

Everyone, 
Attention, 
Family, 
Friends, 
Strangers, 
This is just a test of your emergency broadcast system…

Listen,
This is my life, 
I respect the way you live yours,
So stop telling me, 
Stop yelling at me, 
Stop making me feel guilty, 
I’ve done nothing wrong. 
And you deliver a negative message,
To society. 

I’m not ignorant,
I can understand a simple task.  

It’s like that commercial, 
With the young man, 
With the young woman, 
At the check out line. 

The message, 
Stop looking at young people, 
Like they are another burden to society.

You judge us, 
Label us, 
You don’t even know us. 

You call us lazy, 
You call us brain dead, 
And try to take away our dignity.

You say if we don’t get our minds on straight, 
We will become burdens to society.  

You don’t know us, 
Generation Y, 
Generation X, 
You say we are the generation of sex,
Drugs and lack of control. 

But your generations weren’t perfect either, 
And none will ever be. 

So, before you judge a person, 
Wouldn’t it be smart, 
If you got to know them? 
Just a thought. 
*************************************************************

“Here”

Group picture, 
Everyone smile. 

“You look like you were actually here this time.”

“Yes, I  suppose so.”

Smile, 
Lights, camera, say cheese. 
The light was shining down, 
And I felt like a part of something. 

I lost that picture, 
It was my favorite memory.  

Lost it somewhere on a stormy day, 
It probably got buried in the mud, 
Stepped on, buried, disintegrated. 

*****************************************************

“Fly”

Waiting for the day, 
When someone will understand.

Waiting for the day, 
When that someone will take my hand. 

Waiting for the day when we will fly, 
Not really fly, 
But feel so high. 

******************************************************
As kids we would wish on shooting stars, 
Saying, “I wish I may, I wish I might…”
On the first stars I we saw that night. 

What was it that we wished,
And why wouldn’t we tell each other?
What was wished.

Just like birthday candles,
When you blow them out, 
You are supposed to make a wish, 
But you can’t tell anyone,
And no one will ever know what you wished, 
Or the significance of that wish. 

Where did these ideas come from?
And why did we stop wishing, 
Those stars are still there, 
But have our imaginations,
Disappeared?
************************************************

It's an emptiness 
That lingers inside
A trap I cannot escape
But I must escape 
And learn to feel

You sheltered me 
With your cage
I tried to fly today
But you cut my wings
And laughed

I felt powerless
And ashamed 
When there was nothing
To be ashamed of

I wish this weakness 
Would shatter
And my happiness would matter
For once

I block it out
I try so hard
But it breaks me down
Into an empty
Bleeding shell

I wish you would see me for me
And not make remarks 
Out of stupidity

************************************************

Crumbled Paper Dreams (my poem, not nearly as good as Poe)

Sitting here, no words come to mind. 
A blank sheet of paper has more substance, 
Than my life in the present.

May sleep bring better tomorrows, 
And chase away any sorrows, 
That may come your way. 

May dreams become reality, 
And there be no darkness or pain. 

And may smiles always block out frowns, 
And sunshine forever drown any tears. 

Some say not to be unsure, 
Because life is "Absolute."

Well, I pray each day, 
That life will be sure; 
Yet, it never is,
And that would not be real. 

Time stands still, 
But it does not last forever.
It goes on, 
Until the end of the beginning- 

And above all,
It doesn't...
Make the slightest, 
Amount of sense.
***************************************************
Inevitable Horizons

It was cooling off, 
The day had not blessed us, 
With its sometimes-breezy charm.
It rather plagued us, 
With an incessant streak of uneasiness. 

In our youth, 
We thought we could do anything. 
Beautiful and infinite were the possibilities, 
Invincible and indestructible were our youthful bodies, 
Running along the white sandy beaches… 

With our minds hopeful but naïve, 
Chasing waves while building dreams,
That we only wished could come true. 

But knowing that most of them would never fly, 
Far across the sky and above the water, 
Like the gulls of the Southwestern coast, 
Black and high, 
Gliding along the skyline- moving towards the horizon, 
That splashed the fully tinted universe above the sea, 
Traveling free-willingly, 
For thousands of miles until they diminished from our view. 

Diminishing into something new- 
Something rather extraordinary, 
That we had not yet discovered. 
Waves that never stopped, because they were always breaking, 
Then changing in rhythm with the time that passed, 
And it passed swiftly with the breeze, 
That cooled us during the fervor of day, 
Relieved us of the airs cruel pain, 
That surrounded us most unmercifully. 

Yet most days were pleasant, 
Tranquil and calming, 
As we danced on the beach, 
Like reflections floating on the water, 
Moving freely along the glassy bay. 
My eyes found the sunset in your eyes. 
Your natural charm stole my heart away.

Both of us thought we would always be together and never
Drift away, 
From each other, 
From what we thought we knew, 
Finding now, that we knew little,
Of what was to come or what our words, 
Would turn into. 

At the end of the days, 
That were fiery like this day and others in the past, 
We would walk slowly along the moonlit shore and dream,
More impossible dreams,
That we then thought were completely feasible. 

Only we would be there,
Everyone else would usually leave, 
This paradise,  
Paradise for the moment, not only paradise.

After walking we would sit with our feet, 
Over the dock’s edge, 
Holding each other gently, 
Knowing soon it would all have to end, 
Only knowing in the corners of our enamored minds, 
That the truth was inevitable. 

So we held on to one another, 
And we kept dreaming.
Our silent voices echoing, 
Out into the black abyss of the omniscient sea, 
Reaching all that lent an ear. 

For there was only one thing to fear,
That tomorrow would soon be near,
And we would have to bid farewell, 
To each other and the beaches welcoming melodies. 

As we sat there together on the wooden planks, 
Our hands griped tighter as our hearts broke, 
In half,
Away from each other, 
Into a million pieces of twilight.

Tomorrow you would start your own adventure,
Fight for our nation,
Hopefully survive all your confrontations. 

Faces that once streamed with gladness, 
Now were wet with uncontrollable sadness, 
And before we could even open our eyes, 
The light was rising to start a new day. 
So you kissed me gently on the cheek, 
Then you walked off.
The sand drifting with your every step,
As you prepared to enter a new world,
An unknown, ruthless, unrealistic, world.

I turned around and watched you leave.  
We said our good-byes but not with words. 
There were no words, 
No sounds,
Except for the song of the sea,
And the eeriness of night. 

You never turned around for one last glance.
I never let you leave my view. 
Until you slowly vanished out of sight,  
All that was left were memories,
And the chilliness of night. 


***********************************************

What is poetry?
Is it merely words?
No.
It's the lifeblood of writing
Emotions bleeding from the soul

It's a small child,
Wearing black and a beret.
Standing on a dark stage,
Until the spotlight beckons.

It's structured,
Or unstructured

Rhyming,
Or free form

Stable,
Or Sporadic 

Calm, 
or dramatic

Judged differently by each eye