Two Lepps And A Lady

Part 1

 

She took a deep breath as she stretched out her neck and shoulders. “I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…” she mumbled to her self.

“You’ll be nice, you’ll be nice, you’ll be nice…” Evan laughed as he whispered into her ear.

“Fuck you… fuck you… fuck you…” she giggled.

“You’re on!” Chris opened the door and nodded.

“Let’s do it!” Gary led the way as the 5 of them entered the room for yet another press conference.

“Alana!” interviewers and photographers were going wild.

She put on her fabulously girlish smile and pointed to the first person.

“Alana, you’ve been touring for well over a year now. When will you begin on your second album?”

“Well, we’ve written quite a bit already and will probably go into the studio in a few months,” she pointed to someone else.

“Alana, your 18 years old now, don’t you think it’s time to… change your style a bit?”

“Change my style?” she raised her eyebrows. “To what?” she rolled her eyes and pointed to someone else.

“We heard you’ve gotten a tattoo. What is it and where is it?”

“Ew! No tattoos,” she scrunched her nose and pointed to someone else.

“What about the rumor that Def Leppard has called it quits?”

She fumed as her face grew scarlet red. Her band mates braced themselves and waited for the explosion. “Does anyone in here have a question that pertains to OUR MUSIC?”

There was silence.

“Thank you!” she stormed out of the press conference.

 

“Damn it, Alana!” Chris followed her. “And you wonder why you’re getting such a bad reputation!”

“Whatever, Uncle Chris!” she threw her hands in the air. “Maybe if they’d stop askin’ these bullshit questions, I’d stay in for a decent conference!”

Seth and Toby joined them. “Evan and Gary are answering a few more questions.”

“Such good little boys,” she smirked while pulling her uncle’s arm up to look at his watch. “Well, I have time to call home and check on my little brother now.”

“What’s up with Alex?” Toby asked.

“He had his tonsils taken out yesterday…” she looked up to see Evan and Gary joining them.

“Not likely, sweet. We’ve got a radio interview to get to now,” Chris felt bad for dropping the bad news. He knew that the entire band had been stretched rather thinly lately, but that comes with popularity. And right now, they were red hot.

“Fine, let’s go,” she sighed as Evan rested his arm across her shoulder and led her to the waiting limo.

 

After two radio and four phone interviews, an impromptu photo shoot and an autograph signing session, the band finally returned to their hotel.

“I’m crashing. I don’t want any phone calls,” Alana pleaded with her uncle.

“I’ll ‘ave your calls forwarded to me room, right?”

“Thanks,” she kissed his cheek and shuffled to the elevator. “Can someone please carry me?” she fell against Gary.

“You’re on your own, Lana,” he pushed her away as Seth and Toby laughed.

She whined and moaned all the way to her room. As soon as she unlocked the door, the phone rang. She sighed as she slammed the door behind her. “So much for no fucking phone calls,” she answered the phone. “What?”

“Don’t take that tone with me, young lady,” Phil laughed.

“Hey, Daddy!” she lit up just hearing his voice. “Sorry.”

“Rough day?”

“Just another one,” she sighed. “I walked out on another press conference.”

“Why?”

“Because! I don’t give a shit what people think about the shade of lip-gloss I wear or if I’m gonna start showin’ skin any time soon. That shit isn’t important.”

“Yeah, but it kinda goes with it.”

“With what? Fame? I didn’t ask to be famous.”

“But you did ask for attention. You say that all you want to do is sing and play. That requires an audience. You did ask for this, Lana. And you should be thankful for it.”

She sighed. “I know.”

“You ‘ave everyone’s attention now. So why don’t you use it to do something constructive instead of acting like a spoiled brat?”

“Ouch,” she flinched. “Kinda brutal, don’tcha think?”

“Did I get my point across?”

“Yeah.”

“Mission accomplished, then.”

She had to laugh. “I love you, too.”

Part 2

 

Alana opened her eyes. She sighed as the muffled yelling of Evan protruded through the paper-thin walls of the hotel and interrupted her dream.

“Man, Evan! I was doin’ Fred Durst!” she pounded her fists against the wall.

She heard his ranting increase followed by the slamming of the phone. She sat up in her bed and listened as the sound of the phone hitting the wall echoed through her room. She quickly ran to the door adjoining the rooms and knocked.

“Sorry, Lana,” he sighed as he opened the door.

“You okay?” she blinked as her eyes adjusted to the lights.

“No,” he walked over to the mini bar and opened the door.

Her eyes widened as she watched him reach for a bottle of whiskey. “Ev…” she whispered. “Please don’t do that.”

“Huh?” he looked up, realizing what he was doing. “Aw shit, I’m sorry,” he quickly returned the bottle.

“Don’t worry about it,” she smiled and waved it off. “You wanna talk about it?”

“It’s nothin’,” he sighed. “Leah dumped me.”

“That’s nothin’? You’ve been together for like…”

“Two years,” he nodded.

“Did she say why?”

“We don’t have anything in common anymore,” he rolled his eyes. “Not to mention the fact that I haven’t seen her in four months,” he picked at the calluses on his fingers.

“That seems pretty lame to me,” she raised her eyebrows.

“We don’t fit together,” he looked up at her. “Funny, until about ten minutes ago I thought we fit pretty well.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, right? As soon as we step foot in LA again, she’ll change her mind and want you back.”

“Maybe.”

“She will, Ev. Betcha.”

“Really?” he smiled.

“Ten bucks?”

“You got it,” he slapped her hand.

“Now get your ass in here and watch TV with me, I’m like wide awake now.”

“I said I’m sorry!” he followed her into her room.

Part 3

 

“Thank you,” Alana accepted the cup of herb tea from the attendant.

“Okay, Madonna,” Seth sniggered as the others laughed.

“Can we please get back to business?” Chris huffed.

“Sorry,” Toby slapped him.

“Right,” he read over the paper. “The tour wraps up in San Antonio on December 28^th. From there we fly back to New York to rehearse for the MTV New Year’s Eve gig.”

“No!” Gary huffed.

“I second that! Cancel it!” Alana sipped on her tea.

“Can’t. It was arranged by the record company.”

“You’re kiddin’ me,” she whined. “I have no desire to do MTV again, Uncle Chris.”

“I’m sorry, luv. It’s absolutely out of me hands. I can make a few calls…”

“Why don’t we do that and wait, then?” Evan pleaded.

“Fine,” he sighed.

 

“Hi!” Alana ran into Steve’s arms and held on tightly. “God, I missed you so much.”

“You too, Plum,” he kissed her cheek before walking her toward the elevators of her hotel.

“So what’s this shit about Def Leppard breaking up? I’ve been asked in the last three press conferences.”

“We ‘aven’t broken up,” he sighed.

“I asked Dad about it and he conveniently changed the subject.”

“Well…” he laughed nervously.

“So you gonna come with me to our meeting, or unpack?”

“I’m a bit jetlagged,” he yawned.

“Damn, Daddy. You gettin’ old on me or somethin’?” she turned to look into his eyes. He looked tired. Very tired. Exhausted.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he looked away from her.

“Well, you go take a nap. I’ll get you before we leave for sound check.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he kissed her head before stepping out of the elevator.

 

“I couldn’t get out of the Mtv thing, Lana,” Chris waited for her reaction. “And here’s the schedule.”

She read over the itinerary as the boys read over her shoulder.

“Ah… no!” she pointed to the heading of “Wardrobe”. “They are NOT dressing me!”

“We can worry about that when we get there.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know, luv.”

“Well, you make sure that THEY know, got it?”

“Got it,” Chris smiled as he looked up to the boys, who were laughing hysterically.

Part 4

 

 

Alana led through the line of fans, shaking hands, receiving hugs, posing for photos, and signing everything from paper to… Evan looked up to see her laughing hysterically while signing some guy’s ass with a sharpie.

“Alana, will you marry me?” she looked up to see a guy down on one knee, holding a diamond ring.

“Wow! That’s a pretty big rock!” she laughed as she took the ring from him.

“So? How about it?”

“As long as you don’t mind that I’m carrying Tommy Lee’s love child,” she grinned as she waited.

“Oh God,” Gary shook his head. “That’ll be on the cover of National Enquirer in the morning.”

“Didn’t think so,” she giggled as she handed the ring back to him.

 

Steve stood next to Chris and watched the room.

“She ‘as an answer for everythin’, doesn’t she?” he chuckled.

“And this surprises you?” Chris cocked his eyebrow. “I swear to God she’s got some part of Joe Elliott in ‘er somewhere.”

“Please don’t say that. Poor lass ‘as enough with two Dads, she doesn’t need three.”

They both shared a laugh, but then Chris turned serious. “’Ave you told ‘er yet?”

He shook his head. “I can’t, bro. Every time I get me nerve up, she looks at me with those crystal blues and I… I just can’t.”

“She needs to know, Stephen.”

“I know, I know. And I’ll tell ‘er. After the tour’s over.”

“You sure you’ll last ‘til then?”

“Piss off!” he pushed his arm. “I’ve got a few good years left!”

 

“Welp, we’re finished,” Alana joined them.

“Room’s still full, where are you goin’?” Steve raised his eyebrows.

“This would be the point where the guys get totally slammed and do shots with all the pretty girls and I’m just not up for it tonight,” she sighed.

“They’re drinkin’ ‘round you?”

“It’s okay, Dad. It’s been a long tour. They need to let off some steam,” she bit her lip. “But right now, if I don’t get outta here, I’m gonna join them.”

“Well, looks like we’re going to supper then,” he hugged her.

Part 5

 

Alana slowly walked into the doors of the room she was directed to and looked around. There were racks upon racks of clothes. She quietly went through and skimmed a few things.

“Oh my God! You’re here!” the stylist squealed.

“Yeah,” she rolled her eyes.

“Wow, this is such an honor, Alana,” she shook her hand. “Do you have any idea how many people out there want to dress you? This is great!”

“So, what’d you have in mind?” she scratched her head as she looked around.

She glanced up and down her body. “You’re a 4, right?”

“Yes.”

“Great…” she led her to the dressing area.

 

Evan and Gary wandered around the building until they found what they were looking for. They looked at one another and grinned as Gary held his camera tightly.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Let’s do it!”

 

Alana stared at herself in the mirror. She was in this… shiny black halter thingy that was attached to her body by one string around her neck and one around her back and a tight pair of leather pants. She opened the top of the shirt and looked down at the nearly non-existent cleavage.

“I’m thinkin’ a big no on this one, Tracy,” she laughed.

“Why not? You have a great body!”

“Yeah, in that translucent waif sort of way, right?”

“Say cheese!” Gary yelled out as he caught a picture of her looking ‘girlie’.

“You assholes!” she squealed as she jumped off of the platform and grabbed for the camera.

“Wow, Lana! You look like a real girl!” Evan laughed.

“I hate you,” she growled. “Seriously, though. I don’t like it.”

The boys stood back and looked her over.

“It would be okay if you could bounce it up,” Gary made scooping gestures at his chest.

“Yeah, a wonder bra maybe?” Evan suggested.

“Something so that they’re not so flat,” Gary added.

“Thanks! That’s enough!” Alana held her hand up and walked to the dressing room to try the next outfit.

 

After another hour of changing, screaming and arguing, Alana decided on the black leather pants and a red cropped shirt with the left shoulder out.

“Great, so sound check now, right?” she pleaded with the guys.

“Sound check and then… makeup,” Gary waited for a slap.

“Fuck me,” she sighed as they walked out the door together. “Well at least they’re doin’ your makeup too, right?”

“Right,” Evan nodded.

“Cool,” she turned to a smiling Gary and smacked him. “Get that stupid fuckin’ grin off your face!”

“Can’t help it. Our little girl’s all grown up!”

They all laughed as they walked.

Part 6

 

The band walked onto the soundstage laughing and talking. Seth had just told a joke and Alana was holding her sides while trying not to snort.

“We ready?” Evan’s smiled disappeared as he looked down to the sound tech.

“Wil?” Alana raised her eyebrows. “No shit?”

“Hi,” he waved shyly.

“So… what’s… up?” she noticed the wedding ring on his finger.

“Oh, I’m the head sound tech here.”

“Wow,” she rolled her eyes. “How ambitious.”

“Married a girl named Sarah and we’ve got a new baby,” he smiled.

“Sucks to be you, then,” Seth sniggered from behind the drums.

“What’d ya do? Knock her up?” Toby followed.

“Well… yeah,” he looked away.

“You guys!” Alana turned her back to the sound checks and laughed. “Be just a tad more nicer, k?”

“K,” Evan stepped up to the microphone with his guitar. “Damn Wil, you goin’ bald?” he squinted under the lights as the entire stage erupted into laughter.

 

After sound check, the band walked around and met some of the other performers. Alana’s eyes widened as she saw Fred Durst walk into the room.

“Holy shit!” she squealed as she turned to bury her head into Evan’s chest.

“That would be an excellent intro, Lana. ‘Hi, I’m Alana Clark and I rocked your world a few weeks ago,” he laughed.

“Shut up!” she pushed him as she laughed. “You’re the only one that knows that, too!”

“Go say hi, or better yet… here he comes.”

“Damn,” she tried to calm herself before turning around to smile at him.

“Holy shit, Alana Clark!” he held her hand out.

“I could say the same thing about you,” she grinned as she shook his hand.

“Wow, you look even better in person.”

“Thanks,” she blushed slightly. “This is one of my guitar players, Evan McKennon.”

“Pleasure,” Evan quickly shook his hand. “Excuse me, gotta schmooze.”

“Have fun,” she waved as she returned to her conversation with Fred.

 

Gary looked up from talking to Pink to see Evan hitting the bar. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

“Hey,” Evan smiled before downing another shot.

“What’s up with you?”

“Not a thing, bro. You?”

“I am havin’ a blast,” he smiled while picking up a shot of his own. “But if we don’t slow down, they’re gonna have to play a track tonight.”

“Alana would love that, wouldn’t she?” he stared at her before taking another drink.

 

By the time they were ready to go on, the guys were all feeling no pain. They circled around as usual and prepared for the show. Alana closed her eyes as she breathed in the… sweet stench of liquor. Why did they always get to have all the fun?

“Let’s do it!” she put on her smile and led the way to the stage.

 

“She’s on!” Alex yelled from the den as Jane and Steve ran in to join them. They were followed by Phil and Christine.

“They dressed her?” Phil’s eyes widened.

“And she’s wearing it!” Steve followed.

“She looks like a girl!” Alex made a face.

 

“There’s our girl!” Joe pointed to the television as the entire groups of partiers at his house surround him.

“Wow, she’s all grown up!” Sav quipped.

“She looks great,” Rick nodded. “Wow.”

 

The band played two of their songs and then ended with a cover of ‘Wasted’. The crowd went wild as the band left the stage and prepared to watch the ball drop.

Alana was caught off guard when Fred pulled her aside. They stared at one another as the ball dropped. “Happy New Year,” he planted a huge kiss on her.

She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck as she enjoyed the taste of champagne on his breath. She wasn’t sure which was more intoxicating. The kiss, or the alcohol.

They finally broke away, only to be handed two glasses of champagne by an attendant.

They silently toasted one another and smiled.

“Bottoms up,” Alana winked before throwing her head back and downing the entire glass.

Part 7

 

Alana walked into the apartment the next afternoon and looked around. Every else was still in bed, too. Everyone except…

“Mornin’, sunshine,” Evan peeked around the door of the kitchen.

“Hey,” she stopped. She couldn’t talk to him. He’d smell the liquor on her breath and go completely ape shit. “I’m gonna hop in the shower and then you can fill me in on your night.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he sighed as he watched her walk to her room.

 

Alana stared at the hamburger and her stomach flipped. She took a deep breath and then dug into the sandwich.

“Not much happened, really. After you left with rapper boy, we all just got wasted and that was that,” he sipped on his soda.

“So… the usual?” she giggled.

“Pretty much,” he finally smiled. “You?”

“Went back to Fred’s hotel room for a private party,” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Woooo Hoooo. You’ve hit the big time now,” he chuckled.

“If you say so,” she looked away.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Alana wiped her hands on a napkin and then went to answer it. To her surprise, it was her mother and very pale, weak-looking father.

“Daddy?” she ran to him. “Are you okay?”

“Just tired, Plum,” he kissed her.

She turned to Jane with pleading eyes.

“Why don’t we get settled in and I’ll make some tea?” Jane avoided her daughter’s questioning eyes.

“Come in, then,” she led them to the living room.

 

They all sat quietly as Alana waited. “What the hell is going on?”

Jane took Steve’s hand as he sighed. “I’m sick, Lana.”

“Then go to the damned doctor! What are you doin’ here if you’re sick?”

“Settle down, sweetheart,” Jane looked at Evan. Evan took the hint and sat next to Alana.

“Me liver’s wearin’ out, Pumpkin. I’m gonna ‘ave to ‘ave a transplant very soon.”

She stared at her father, not wanting to believe what he was saying. “And if you don’t?”

“I’m gonna die, luv.”

She closed her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks. “How long have you known about this?”

Jane took a deep breath. She was not going to be happy. “Eight months.”

Her eyes widened. “Excuse me? And you’re just now telling me?”

“Lana,” Evan patted her arm.

“Tourin’ is stressful enough, I didn’t want to add to it,” Steve rubbed his face. “Plus… the last time I was with you, you just seemed so… vulnerable. I didn’t wanna push you. Can you understand that?”

“No! I can’t understand how you could keep this from me! Or you!” she turned to her mother. “Oh my God! The entire band knows about this! You could tell your band mates and not your daughter?”

“You know now, Lana,” Jane pleaded with her.

She shook her head and then turned to her father. “So what next?”

“I go into hospital next week for tests and hope to God a donor shows up soon.”

She closed her eyes. Her entire world was closing in on her. Her Daddy was sick, and there was nothing she could do about it.

“I’ve gotta get outta here,” she grabbed her coat and ran out the front door.

Evan looked up at Steve. “We can bring her…”

“You’ve got an album to work on.”

“She’ll never go for it.”

“It’s for the best, lad. She doesn’t need to be there.”

“I’ll do what I can. God, I’ll need all of the guys to help keep her here.”

“Just… take care of ‘er.”

Part 8

 

“Where’s Lana?” Gary walked in and looked around.

“Her room, like she has been for the last three days,” Evan pointed to the door.

“Have you tried her Dads?” Seth looked up.

“She told Phil to go to hell because he didn’t tell her Steve was sick,” Toby looked worried.

“And she won’t talk to Steve at all,” Evan followed.

“This isn’t good,” Gary sighed. “You don’t think… she has anything in there with her, do you?”

“Nah, man. She’s clean,” Toby answered quickly. “Besides, she wouldn’t do that.”

The other three raised their eyebrows and looked at him.

Just then, the door swung open and she walked out wearing a cropped tank top and a pair of low-riding hip huggers. “Later guys, I’ve gotta date.”

“With who?”

“Fred,” she lied.

“You think that’s such a good idea?” Evan grabbed her arm before she reached the door.

“You think it’s not?” she spat as she looked down to the hold he had on her arm.

He froze as his stomach flipped. “La…” she had that look in her eyes. The same look she had the last time. It’s been so long, why did it have to come back?

“Bye!” she pulled away and walked out before anyone could say anything else.

Evan looked at Gary.

“We’ll keep an eye on ‘er, Ev. She won’t fall off the wagon, I promise.”

“And what if she already has?” he threw a pillow across the room and walked into his bedroom.

“You don’t think…” Seth looked at the other two.

“No, man. I trust her. She’s just messed up over her Dad, that’s all,” Toby stood up for her.

“After tonight, she doesn’t leave without one of us on her tail, got it?” Gary looked over his shoulder to see Evan’s door closed.

“Got it.”

 

Alana stared at the bottle of rum in her hands. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath as she smelled the sweetness of it. She missed this. The burn of the first few drinks as it slides down your throat… The freeness that she feels after the buzz hits… The way it makes life feel less important.

She lifted the bottle to her lips and tasted the clear liquid. It had been so long that she could already feel her cheeks warming up.

She took a second drink. Geeze, her arms were already beginning to feel tingly.

She took a third. The warm flood began to sweep over her body as she felt that happy warmth that she longed for.

Before she knew it, the bottle was half gone. Her phone rang and she looked down to see that it was Phil. She couldn’t talk to him, not now. She had to build her tolerance back up before doing things like that again.

She smiled as she placed the bottle in her bag, slid a piece of cinnamon gum in her mouth and walked up the stairs to her apartment. See? She could still do this and stay in control. She wasn’t an alcoholic. She knew what she was doing.

 

 

“That was a quick date,” Gary watched her walk to her room.

“Got stood up,” she lied again. “Goodnight!” she waved.

“Night, Lana!” they all watched her close the door.