The Ultimate Terror Ride
There was a man named Jeremy Thompson, who lived in Denver Colorado. He is the brother of John Thompson, the infamous bread baker, who has done very odd things nation-wide.
Jeremy Thompson is a very interesting person, with a very odd sense of humor. One night, when he was at a friend’s house, they were watching a movie called Mr. Baseball. Jeremy had seen this movie nearly twenty times before this night, and each of those times, he didn’t laugh too hard. For whatever reason, when Jeremy watched it this 21st time, he was rolling on the floor laughing the entire movie, saying it was the funniest movie he had ever seen.
Jeremy lived right by an amusement park, called “Happy Land Park”. It wasn’t the most thrilling amusement park around, but it kept its attraction throughout the years. It had two roller coasters, both of which were mild, and not terribly thrilling, and the rest were bumper cars, Ferris wheels, mini-golf, and other fun rides. One day Jeremy decided that he would go to “Happy Land Park”, since he had nothing else to do.
He had been there for a couple of hours, having a good time, when suddenly he saw a man that looked just like Christopher Reeve. He took an odd interest in this man.
The man got in line for the “Atomic Belt Buster”, which was a roller coaster ride, but was extremely mild for its name. It didn’t go down any large hills, and barely went very fast at all.
Suddenly Jeremy started laughing really hard, thinking it would be funny if he gave this man a terror ride. He knew exactly where the control room was, that managed the speed of the ride, and decided to play around in there for a while.
Jeremy knew it would be about ten minutes before the man got on the ride, so he didn’t feel any pressure to hurry. He sneaked into the room, and found the controls. He saw the ride was currently set to 5 MPH. He boosted the speed up to 35 MPH, and notched the curve intensity ten notches. He ran out of the room, ran to a bench near the ride, and patiently waited for the man to get on.
The ride started out normal, where it took you through a brief tunnel, and then sped up to the speed of the ride. Jeremy was giggling really hard, knowing that the boost was about to happen.
Suddenly the roller coaster train sped up to 35 MPH, and everyone watching was screaming their lungs out. Jeremy was turning bright red, laughing harder than he had ever laughed before.
As soon as the ride stopped, everyone on board had a horrified look on their face. The man that looked like Christopher Reeve looked unconscious. Suddenly nearby officers rushed to the ride, and called for an immediate emergency ambulance. They inspected everyone, and found that two were completely unconscious, and needed quick medical attention.
Jeremy was now laughing unbearably hard, and had to frequently pull out his book, so people didn’t think he was laughing at the situation. Jeremy remembered that there was a picture taken at a certain spot of the ride, so he rushed over to the photo-booth.
There was nobody there, since everyone was actively involved in the situation. He found the man’s picture, and started laughing uncontrollably, even harder than before. He was banging his hands on the counter, and jumping up and down.
Suddenly Jeremy rushed over to the scene, and pretended that he knew nothing about it. He saw that the man was being rolled into an ambulance, and an older woman was being given CPR. The officers ordered everyone to back off from the scene.
Jeremy overheard that the man was being taken to the Denver County Hospital. At this point Jeremy was obsessed with this man, laughing hysterically every time he thought of the picture. He decided he would sneak into the hospital, so he could see the look on the man’s unconscious face.
He went to the hospital the next day, at around 9 AM, after a very sleepless night. He walked in, and said “Excuse me. A man was brought in here unconscious from ‘Happy Land Park’, and I am here because I have a couple questions to ask concerning this story”.
The woman said, “Sorry sir, but nobody can see him except for his family, and you are not family!”
Jeremy replied, “I see, do you know when…”
Jeremy saw a man being wheeled on a moving bed that looked somewhat like the man from the park. He immediately walked over to them.
There was an unusual amount of people in the halls, which made it difficult for Jeremy to keep up with them. He saw that he was being pushed into room 101 A, which was pretty much all he needed to know.
That afternoon he made plans to break into the Hospital at night, and see the look on the unconscious man’s face. He made a list of all the things that could possibly go wrong, and created strategies for avoiding them.
When it was finally midnight, and all the patients were asleep, Jeremy made his way to the hospital doors. He had a paperclip in his pocket that he would use to open the locks. At first it was difficult, but after 3 tries, he finally got in.
He found room 101 A, and saw that it was locked. He took out his paperclip again, and proceeded to break in. As soon as he turned the light on, Jeremy started laughing louder and harder than he had ever imagined he would in the past. The expression on the man’s face struck Jeremy as unbearably hilarious.
Suddenly a nurse walked by, and yelled, “What on Earth is going on here? You! Get out of there! Now! I’m calling security!”
Jeremy was laughing too hard to listen to what she was saying, so he just stood there, banging his head against the door.
Two minutes later the cops arrived, and Jeremy was still laughing hysterically. They cuffed him, and took him to jail.
Jeremy was proven guilty for tampering with the controls of the ride, and breaking into the Hospital. He was sentenced 15 years in prison.
