He Who Teases the Public

There was a bread baker named John Thompson, who baked bread for the Great Harvest Bread Company. One day, he thought that it would be funny if he acted really weird in public, so he decided to go to the Provo Mall, where he could display unusual behavior. When he got there, he started walking really robotic, and smiled really weird while bobbing his head from side to side. He had a lot of people stare at him weird, and one kid thought it was funny and was laughing really hard. John saw a man drop a red ring, and he sprinted for it. As the man bent down to pick it up, John grabbed it, put it on his finger, and ran really fast while bobbing his body side to side. He stole a crutch from a boy with a sprained ankle, and ran while limping with the crutch. The man was chasing him, but John was laughing too hard, and running too fast. John entered Best in Music, sat down at the electric piano, and started playing three chromatic notes over and over again, consistently. He was singing a really annoying song while playing, and the employees became irritated. One of them told him to get off, but he refused. He kept being annoying, and started bobbing his head side to side, while shaking really hard. The owner of the red ring entered Best In Music, and approached him. John sprinted out of the store, grabbed his crutch, wrapped some toilet paper around his head, and started running while limping hard, and bobbing his body back and forth yelling, "The ring! The ring!" John ran to a cake shop, where there was a large wedding cake. He picked up the cake, started running with it, and purposely ran into a woman with a stroller. After he ran into her, he made a really weird face at her, and threw the cake in her face. He continued running while limping and left the mall. He drove normally and went into Timpview High School. He entered Mr. Nozawa's room during 5th period, calmly walked to a beaker, and filled it up with water. The whole class was staring at him, including Mr. Nozawa and Mrs. Shamo, wondering what he was doing. He took the beaker, turned around and chucked the beaker causing it to break on the floor. He was laughing really hard, and he grabbed his crutch, and ran out of the classroom while limping. The next day he took a trip to Las Vegas, and checked into the MGM Grand Hotel. He went to the slot machines, had a pocket full of quarters, and started playing the slot machines as fast as he could. He was making evil faces at the machine, while he was hyperly putting coins in the machine. Whenever he won, he dropped to the floor, shook really hard, and then ran around the casino yelling, "I won! I won!" He saw security walking towards him, so he ran as fast as he could out of the hotel, and ran to New York New York. He wanted to ride the Roller Coaster. When he got on the roller coaster, and the train started moving, he started yelling, "Roller Coaster! No! No! Roller Coaster! No! No!" People on the train yelled at him to be quiet, but he kept doing it. When the train started to roll down a slope, and going fast, John started screaming in a low pitched, sick voice, which was really annoying to the passengers. When he reached the point where the camera was, he vibrated his head, while making an annoying face at it. When he got off of the ride, he ran to his car, and speeded back to Provo. He never slept at the MGM hotel, he just rode home. He was feeling really hyper, and out of control, so he parked by a house, and decided to break in. When he broke in, he entered a boy's bedroom, and the boy stared at him in fear. John screamed, "Why did Harry Potter miss the train?!" John then dove out the window, and ran to his car with his crutch while limping really hard on purpose. When he got to Provo, he stopped at the Provo mall, and went into Software Etc. He saw a boy playing on a playstation 2, so he said to him, "My turn! My turn!" The boy got off, and John started playing playstation 2. While he was playing, he was yelling, "Wow! I can control this dude! Look! I can control him! Wow!" Five minutes later, a man walked up to him and pointed to the 'five minute' limit sign above the TV, but John pointed at him while sticking his tongue out, and kept playing. The manager of the store came up and told him to get off, but John said, "This is my life long entertainment! I am a person who wants to be entertained, and this is entertainment!" As soon as the manager said the word police, he grabbed his crutch and ran as fast as he could while limping. He drove to KFC, because he was hungry. He ordered some chicken and chocolate milk, and he sat by the window. When he was done with his chicken, he continued to finish his chocolate milk. He turned to the window, saw his reflection, and purposely hyperventilated while drinking chocolate milk, and he was laughing at the same time. He started shaking violently, and was still hyperventilating. When the cashier saw this, she walked over to him. John jumped out of the window, breaking the glass, and took the crutch, and ran as fast as he could while limping. John stole a jar of peanuts, and he went to Mrs. Collin's English class 4th period and sat down. John stuffed an unbearable amount of peanuts in his mouth, while screaming, "I'm joking around! Get it?! I'm joking around!" He was making faces while laughing as hard as he could while stuffing peanuts in his mouth. Suddenly he started choking, but he was still making faces and yelling. By the time he was turning red, McKell Farrer and Rachel Eastland shoved him to the floor, and jumped on his back. John was still shoving peanuts in his mouth while laughing and making faces, but he couldn't breathe at all. When the paramedics came, they took the can of peanuts away from him, and vacuumed an unbearable amount of peanuts out of his throat, but John was still laughing and yelling, "I'm joking around! I'm joking around! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" The first thing John did when he was rescued was run for the peanuts, and force the rest of the can of peanuts in his mouth while yelling and making faces. Next he broke into Mrs. Collin's candy jar, unwrapped a plethora of candy, and shoved it in his mouth, and he started choking again. The paramedics were really mad, so they took him to a mental institution, and refused to rescue him any more. To this day, John is kept in a psychiatric ward, and is separated from the rest of society.