The Incident at the Steppenwolf Concert

There was a man named Jeff George, who was obsessed with his car, which was a 2002 Mitsubishi. One day, he decided to go to a carnival at BYU, because he was really bored. As he was driving, he realized that there was too much traffic to park close, so he decided to park a mile away from the carnival, since he didn’t mind the long walk.

            A man named Mike Hubert saw where Jeff parked, and felt like he should play a mean trick on Jeff, to pay him back for running a red light, making it so Mike had to wait longer to turn left, even though he had an arrow. Right when Mike thought of how he was going to play a mean trick on Jeff, an evil smile came across his face. He had everything he needed, and was ready to get some of his best friends to be involved with it too, as some of them were in the car the day Jeff ran the red light.

            Jeff finally arrived to the carnival, after a 20 minute walk. It wasn’t the greatest carnival Jeff had been to, but it was good enough, since he had nothing else to do anyway. The price to get in was twenty bucks, which seemed a bit pricy, but he went anyway.

            Mike spent two hours talking with his friends about his plan, and felt better about the plan every minute that passed. They were now ready to begin their revenge.

            As Jeff was eating an ice cream cone, a man wearing a top hat approached him.

            “Jeff! Listen, do you own a 2002 red Mitsubishi parked at Days Market?”

            Jeff replied, “Yes I do, why?”

            The man replied, “When I was driving here, I saw five angry high school students beating on your car with baseball bats! Apparently that parking spot was reserved for them, and you took it”.

            Jeff dropped his ice cream cone, and started running as fast as he could to Days Market. He was breathing really heavy, shaking really hard, and had a really terrified look on his face. Everybody he passed started laughing really hard when they saw Jeff running, but Jeff had no time to care about that.

            When Jeff got to Days, he saw his car was just fine, and nothing had happened to it. He was breathing extremely heavily, and felt pretty irritated. Rather than going back and finding the man who lied to him, he just went home.

            The next morning, Jeff woke up to the following on the radio. “Ladies and Gentlemen! Two o’clock is the last day to buy your tickets to the Steppenwolf concert held at the BYU stadium on Canyon Road!!”

            Jeff looked at his clock, and saw that he had two hours to get ready for the concert he had been waiting for all year. He hopped out of bed, grabbed lunch, and headed for the concert.

            He parked by Days Market again, and planned to walk to the BYU stadium, like the day before. This time, if someone told him that his car was beaten, he would laugh at them, and tell them to go away. He was in too good of a mood to let anybody bother him.

            Jeff arrived at the BYU stadium quicker than he did the day before, and was extremely excited for the concert. He found his seat, and patiently waited for it to start.

            As soon as the concert started, Jeff cheered really loud, and was really happy. Jeff had been waiting for this all year, and couldn’t believe it was finally the concert.

            Steppenwolf played nearly two hours of material that afternoon. Right before the encore, the lead singer announced, “We have something special for you this night!!! There is a surprise presentation by a man named Mike Hubert after our encore, especially for you! You don’t have to pay extra, it is our surprise!! I’m not going to tell you what it is, but I hope this next song gets you ready for this AMAZING presentation. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the only concert where we are having this presentation, you are very lucky!!”

            Jeff had never heard of Mike Hubert before, and since he was enjoying the concert so much, he could barely wait for this presentation.

            Steppenwolf finished their concert with “Born to be Wild”. It was the best concert Jeff had been to, and he was going wild.

            Suddenly the lights changed color, and a loud drum roll occurred, along with cannonballs and fireworks. A man with a top hat, wearing striped clothes walked on stage.

            “Ladies and gentlemen! This is the moment you have been waiting for! My name is Mike Hubert! I have put together a special presentation JUST FOR YOU!! You don’t have to pay extra, it is all on me, as my surprise to you! A group of friends and I have put together an extremely hilarious film for you all, and we know you will all enjoy it! If you do not enjoy what you are about to see, you will get your MONEY BACK!! That’s right, the band has agreed that if you don’t enjoy this film, you will get your money back! Ladies and gentlemen! Enjoy this film!!”

            Jeff noticed that this film took place at yesterday’s carnival. The man in a top hat that lied to Jeff appeared on screen. Jeff thought to himself, ‘What in the world?’ The man was being filmed walking around the carnival. Suddenly Jeff saw himself in the film. He was somewhat pleased to see himself in this film.

            “Jeff! Listen, do you own a 2002 red Mitsubishi parked at Days Market?”

            ‘What in the world? This was filmed?’ thought Jeff, as he started feeling uncomfortable with what he was watching.

            “Yes I do, why?”

            ‘I’ve always hated the sound of my voice on film’ Jeff thought.

            “When I was driving here, I saw five angry high school students beating on your car with baseball bats! Apparently that parking spot was reserved for them, and you took it!”

            Suddenly, Jeff saw a close up of the look on his face after he heard this news. Jeff felt unbearably embarrassed now, and wondered why they were showing this. Jeff heard the audience roaring in laughter.

            They had filmed Jeff receiving this news, and everything that happened after that. Jeff watched himself running as fast as he could while looking really terrified. He was shaking unbearably hard, and even screaming.

            Suddenly a close up shot of Jeff running showed up. It was played in slow motion, which caused the audience to laugh even harder. Someone in the audience saw Jeff, and threw a tomato at him yelling, “You freak! You sure look funny when you RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!”

            Jeff was steamed, he got up out of his seat, and headed out of the stadium. When he got to the exit, an officer said, “Where are you going girly-man? Are you going home to your mommy?”

            Jeff ignored him and kept walking. The officer tripped him on his way out. “Don’t cry now, sissy!” Jeff started running home like before, but this time he was crying while running. He heard the sound of Mike’s voice saying, “Ladies and gentlemen! That is not the end of the show! It gets even better! We have set up hidden cameras all exactly where Jeff was running yesterday! Let’s see what Jeff is doing now!!”

            The audience watched Jeff cry while running, and they were screaming their lungs out in laughter. It was the funniest thing that everybody in the audience has seen in their lives.

            When Jeff got to his car, it had been beaten. Someone wrote on the car, “How are you going to get home now, baby?” Jeff had never felt so upset in his entire life. He started running home. On his way home, he heard a bunch of people in cars screaming at him, and throwing things at him. An officer pulled to the side of the road where he was running, and took out his stick, and started beating Jeff with it.

            “Come on baby! Cry! CRY! DO IT!”

            The officer hit him as hard as he could with the stick, and Jeff was screaming in pain. Suddenly, a large helicopter landed right where Jeff was being beaten. A large sheriff shot the officer, and told Jeff to come in the helicopter. He explained to Jeff that what just happened was unacceptable, and whoever was behind all of this, would go straight to prison.

            The next day, Jeff took a seat in the court, and twenty people, including the band Steppenwolf, was seated.

            The judge said in a very firm voice, “Mike, are you the mastermind behind all of this?”

            Mike replied, “Yes I was. It was hilarious!”

            The judge yelled, “You are hereby sentenced ten years in prison for your incongruous actions. As for the rest of you, you will serve five years in prison. The court is adjourned.”

            Tom drove to the airport, and purchased a ticket to Los Angeles California, and planned never to come back to Utah, ever again.

            To this day, Tom was never seen again in Utah, and probably never will.