The Man From The Cover Of The Best Of Kansas CD

There was a man named Robert Thomas, who lived in St. George Utah. He worked at Dixie College, and went to high schools to present to seniors benefits of attending Dixie. One day he visited Timpview High School, in Provo Utah. He was asked to present three sessions of a college day demonstration to seniors. His first and second sessions went well, but his third session was really weird. When Matt Fallon walked into the classroom where he was, the first thing he said was, "Hey! You look like the man from the cover of the Best Of Kansas CD, without the mustache and beard!" Robert thought to himself, 'What? That was really weird'. After the session was over, Matt walked up to him and started asking him a bunch of questions. "What is your favorite Kansas CD?" Robert said, "I beg your pardon, but who is Kansas?" Matt said, "You should know, you look just like the man on the cover of the Best Of Kansas CD. Do you like Audio Visions, Leftoverture, Point Of Know Return, Song For America…" "Stop, that is enough. I do not know who Kansas is, for the last time, and I don't think I resemble this man on the cover that you say I do, because you said he has a mustache and beard, and I don't." Robert started to leave, and as he walked out the door, all the students were lined up outside, and yelled, "It's the Kansas dude!" Robert began to become really worried, because more than one person thought he looked like this guy on the front of Best Of Kansas, or whatever. He carefully walked through the line, and then more screams were heard. "KANSAS DUDE!" Robert began to get irritated, and yelled, "I am not a Kansas dude! For the last time! I don't even know who Kansas is! Will you please stop?!" When he exited Timpview, he thought his nightmare was over, but then a student walking down from seminary said to him, "Hey! You are the Kansas dude that everyone is talking about aren't you?" He said, "No I'm afraid I am not, and I have no clue how this bizarre rumor started, but I am not a Kansas dude, or whatever you call it, I am just a worker from Dixie College, and that is all". He decided to go to a restaurant to get his mind off of the insanity. He parked at Wendys, and went inside. When he got to the counter, he said, "I'll have a number one please". The person working there said, "Would you like that… Hey wait a minute! I KNOW YOU! You are from the cover of the Best of Kansas CD aren't you?!" Robert got really mad, and ran out of Wendys angry. Somehow, everyone he talked to thought he was some sort of celebrity that everyone knows about, some Kansas dude, or whatever. Robert decided he would drive home, and hopefully things would be back to normal. When he got home, he saw that he had 300 new email messages. He had never had so many emails before in his life at once, so he thought that he would check it. When he got in, he saw a ton of random names that he had never heard of before, and their subjects were all different. He opened one of the emails, and read, "Hey! How is it going?! You are the man from the cover of my Best Of Kansas CD! That is really cool! Would you come to our school and give a speech?" Robert was too angry to reply, or read anymore, so he deleted all of his email messages. Suddenly the phone rang. Robert knew that if he answered the phone, he would hear some sort of, "Hey Kansas dude", and he didn't want to put up with it. He unplugged the phone, and turned on the TV. When he turned the TV on, he saw himself on TV. The newscaster said, "This is the man from the cover of the Best of Kansas CD! We are going to interview some Kansas fans, and ask them what they think about this…" Robert changed the channel, but unfortunately, the same thing was on. He kept changing the channels, until he realized that this "Kansas dude" thing was on TV everywhere. Robert felt hopeless. There was nothing he could do, since this odd rumor spread like wildfire. He looked outside and saw his mailbox overflowed, which put an even deeper frown on Robert. He knew what it was, and decided to leave it alone. That night, Robert had ignored 53 phone calls, 27 doorbells, and deleted about 303 email messages. He didn't even bother to read the paper, because he knew that every single article was on him. The only thing Robert could rely on was safety in his own home. The next day, when he walked out the door to go to work, and partially forgetting about all this "Kansas dude" madness, he saw the biggest crowd of people outside his door, screaming like crazy, and fighting intensely with an unbelievable amount of security police. An unimaginable amount people took pictures of him, and filmed him. One man, who was inside the circle of security cops had a microphone and followed him so he could interview him. Robert just ran, and was being chased by an irritating amount of people screaming their lungs out crying. Robert thought this was really ridiculous, and couldn't believe this insanity. When he arrived at Dixie College, all the college students started running towards him, and hundreds of security police tackled the mad crowd. Robert began to wonder if his life would ever be normal again, and if he would ever be able to escape this insanity. He decided it would be impossible for him to work, since everyone in his office was screaming and chasing after him, so he went home. When he got home, he saw at least four hundred security cops tackling an even bigger crowd of screaming girls, and even guys. It took him one hour to get to into his house, because he had to fight the crowds and the security. When he got inside, he slammed the door and locked it. He turned on the TV, and sure enough, he was on every channel, and realized all his actions were recorded, and on one of the channels, he saw his house being filmed, which was taken from a neighbor's roof. He realized he would have to remain in his house for the rest of his life if he wanted partial peace. It was impossible for him to sleep that night, because the crowd had somehow made it to his house, and was banging on his door, and ringing his doorbell consistently. He could hear all of the screams from outside as well, and his phone was ringing every second. About two hours later, he found a pair of earplugs, and put them in. Finally he fell asleep. When he woke up, he realized that his whole house was filled with screaming people. They were all poking at him, forcing pens in his hands, and screaming nonsense. Robert could not believe that they got into his house, and realized this was the end. The security police didn't stand a chance against the crowd. He forced his way out of his house, which took about thirty minutes, and when he looked outside, every single possible area was filled with people screaming, and crying really hard. He looked out to a giant field on his left, and he saw the whole field was filled with people. There was literally no place for another human being to set foot. The amount of people kept increasing, until Robert found himself squished really tightly, and saw that there was absolutely no space for at least one hundred miles, because everyone was squished so tightly together. Robert thought this was extremely unusual, and he hated every second of it really bad. About three hours later, he saw the skies were completely filled with hot air balloons, blimps, helicopters, airplanes, and jets. An hour later, there was absolutely no space from surface to about 100 yards in the sky. A jet force pilot named Jeffery Peach was flying some wheat to another city. He looked to the right, and saw something unbelievably massive, which was larger than any mountain he had ever seen, was wider than any formation he had seen, and taller than anything he had ever seen. As he got closer, he realized that this massive structure was human bodies piled up on each other, and there was an unusual amount of loud screaming and crying from everyone. Jeffery reported this to base, but nobody believed him. He landed on top of a building, because the whole streets consisted of people. He lowered himself down, and asked someone what this was about. They screamed, "The man from the cover of the Best of Kansas CD is here! AAAAA!!!!!!" Robert spent at least two hours-piled on people, and being piled by people. Robert knew that he was going to die, because there is no way he would live much longer. He had to do something if he wanted to live, but he had no idea what, and he didn't even think anything was possible. Every second he could feel the load on top of him become heavier, and it was beginning to get really painful. Robert died twenty minutes later, and when he went to heaven, he felt really relieved, and thought his troubles were over. Suddenly he heard a roar so loud, and vibrating so heavily, he was really concerned. In the distance he saw large figures screaming and crying and running his direction. They were much larger than him too. They picked him up, and started throwing him around, since he could fit inside their hands. Robert remembered that he was dead, and he couldn't die again, so he painfully realized that this could last forever. About twenty hours later, he had been thrown around consistently, and the giant figures became even larger, and even more populated. He realized that the whole population of heaven, which was much more than the largest calculator on Earth could comprehend, was circled around him. Suddenly Robert fell through a cloud, and he could actually see now. He was falling, and kept falling. He saw his house really small, and fell towards the Earth. He saw his roof open up, and he saw himself lying in bed sleeping when the roof opened. When he landed on his bed, his eyes opened. It was just a nightmare, a really bad nightmare. Everything was back to normal, and he could breathe, and smell fresh air. He was breathing really heavy, and his heart was pounding really hard. It took him four hours to physically recover from his traumatizing nightmare.