Star Wars Newsflashes!

1. Chewbacca shook hard in excitement while screaming when he was in a fire.
2. Darth Vader’s helmet turned in circles when he twisted trumpet valves
3. Luke Skywalker turned into the face on the startup screen on Mario 64, that you can distort
4. When Han Solo was frozen, Chewbacca thought he turned into a hand
5. C-3PO says “Please don’t kill me” whenever he hears a baby scream
6. Darth Maul talked high pitch when his younger cousin said “Hi Hat”
7. R2-D2 was spanked by C-3PO when he practiced the trumpet
8. Obi-wan was killed by Darth Vader, because he stared at Princess Leah too long
9. Yoda bobs horizontally when he walks around his house in pajamas.
10. Luke Skywalker turned into “little Wario” from Wario Land on Gameboy when Yoda ate his dinner
11. The Emperor was evilly entertained when he got struck by lightning as a child
12. Luke Skywalker beat up R2-D2 when he shook in excitement
13. Han Solo turned into an embarrassed hot air balloon when he made a weird face in the Millennium Falcon.
14. The reason Darth Vader never took his mask off, is because he was stuck in a giant black spider-web on stage, and he got embarrassed.
15. Chewbacca dances while laughing when he is angry
16. Jabba the Hut wore headphones while bobbing vertically and talking serious
17. Luke Skywalker was annoyed when C-3PO became friends with a possessed ET
18. The reason Obiwan thought R2-D2 was afraid in the beginning of Episode 4 when they first met was because he had recently found the bottleneck of Tatooine
19. Cavemen that run frantically in malls go to jail as Chewbacca
20. The giant rat in Princess Bride turned into a cartoon version of Luke Skywalker
21. At the end of the first Star Wars N64 game, Luke Skywalker eats ice-cream really loud when Peter Pan’s children are kidnapped from him in the Nintendo game.
22. The reason C-3PO was chosen to float in a chair in “The Return of The Jedi”, is because if it was Chewbacca, he would have diarrhea.
23. The reason candy stores didn’t make a chocolate statue of Han Solo, is because George Lucas used the diagram papers as a napkin.
24. C-3PO’s voice turned into a US History assignment when he yelled, “But Sir!”
25. C-3PO turned into a generous grandma when he yelled, “Hello! Hello!” in a friendly voice.