Lobster Sam’s Seafood Diner Membership

            There was a man named Ryan Dewsbury. He lived in Atlanta Georgia, and loved to eat at fancy restaurants. One day, he was hungry, and decided that he would find somewhere to eat at.

            As he was driving, he noticed a restaurant he had never seen before, called “Lobster Sam’s Seafood Diner” Immediately he turned into the parking lot, and parked. He walked into the restaurant, and went up to the desk.

            The man working there was dressed like a pirate, and had a long mustache, with a patch over his eye. He said, “How may I help ye laddie?

            Ryan said, “Just one”.

            The man said, “Not so fast me laddie, where be ye membership card?”

            Ryan said, “This is my first time here, I don’t have a membership.”

            The man replied, “Then I’m afraid ye cannot dine here. Come back, when ye have ye membership card”.

            Ryan turned around, and then heard the sound of people talking. For some reason, it was incredibly soothing. The food smelled really good too. He did not want to leave, under any circumstances. The sound of chatter put him into a trance. The pirate man said, “Aargh, leave laddie, and don’t come back, till ye get yer membership card.” Ryan left, feeling really dissatisfied.

            This restaurant was all he could think about. He never had such a desire to obtain a membership card for a restaurant. He decided he would get one, if it was the last thing he did.

            He found the “Atlantic City Community College”, and thought he might post a bulletin, offering to pay greatly for a “Lobster Sam’s Seafood Diner” membership card. He took out post-it notes, and posted like crazy, on every single bulletin board there.

            One day had elapsed, and nobody called him. He was getting really anxious. He thought he’d try posting at buildings, since not all college students can afford fancy dining, much less a membership to one.

            He spent that whole day posting on bulletin boards, hoping desperately that somebody would call him that night. He could envision the soothing sound of the talking in the restaurant, and could remember how delicious the food tasted.

            That night, he took the cordless phone over to the couch, and watched TV. It was difficult for him to focus completely on TV, because he wanted so badly for the phone to ring.

            Finally, the phone ringed. Ryan picked it up immediately, saying, “Hello!”

            The man on the other line said, “Hello. Is this Mr. Dewsbury?”

            Ryan replied, “Yes! This is him!”

            The man said, “Hello Mr. Dewsbury. This is Jonathan Clark from the Atlantic City Research Center. I was wondering if I could ask you a couple questions relating to community clean-up night for Senior Citizens.”

            Ryan could feel hot, boiling anger flow throughout his blood, and enraging disappointment. He screamed, “Never! I hate you! Never call this number again!”, and pushed the talk button as hard as he could.

He could nearly feel tears starting to flow, and quickly shook them off, realizing it would be ridiculous to cry over a seafood restaurant. But the sound of the talking was so soothing, and the food smelled so delicious, he decided maybe it was worth crying over after all.

He continued watching TV, trying not to get his hopes up if the phone did ring again. He thought to himself, if he did not get a call tonight, he would talk to random people, asking if they have a membership.

Suddenly the phone rang. Ryan picked it up, with a less excited tone in his voice saying, “Hello?”

There was a voice recording on the other line saying, “This is a recorded voice message, on behalf of the Atlantic Community Credit Department. If you have had bad credit, please stay on hold, if not…”

Ryan wished so badly he had a phone with a cord, so he could slam it as hard as he could. He pushed the talk button even harder, and tears were streaming down his face. He thought to himself, “I never cry! Why in the world am I crying now?! I simply don’t care! It’s not fair! I have to have that membership!”

Ryan knew that if the phone rang again, and it wasn’t someone offering to sell him a membership, he would be just as upset again. It seemed that he could not convince himself to not get mad when it was someone he didn’t want to call him, so he just prayed that the next call would be regarding a membership card.

Suddenly the phone rang again. Ryan picked it up, and said, “Hello?”

There was what sounded like a teenaged girl on the other line, saying “Hello, Ryan Dewsbury? My name is Courtney West. I got your number off the Atlantic Community College bulletin.”

Immediately, Ryan’s eyes lit up. The tone in his voice was much more excited now. He said happily, “Yes! Thank you for calling!”

Courtney said, “Anyways, I am unable to get a hold of any of my friends that go to ACC, and I was wondering if you knew the number to Student Relations, because it isn’t in the phone book”.

Dark anger was steaming in Ryan’s blood now. He tried as hard as he could not to scream at her, but he knew that she wasn’t trying to do it to bother him. He said, “I’m sorry, I don’t actually go to ACC, I was just posting, because I desperately want a Seafood Membership. I’m sorry.”

Courtney said, “Okay that’s fine, thank you anyway, bye!”

Ryan said, “Bye…”

Immediately Ryan threw the phone as hard as he could, dropped to the floor, and banged the floor as hard as he could with his fists. He was screaming now, as loud as he could, with the most rage he had ever screamed in before. He had never been so mad in his life. He continued this for about half an hour.

After his tantrums, he calmed down a bit. He was still sobbing, on the couch, lying down, feeling horrible. The phone rang five minutes into his calmed sobbing stage. He picked up the phone, trying as hard as he could not to sound like he was crying, but he still did.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Dewsbury, my name is Harold Brooks. I got your name off of the Trades Commissioning Building bulletin board. I’m calling because I no longer use my Lobster Sam’s Seafood Diner membership card, and would like to sell it to you.”

Ryan replied, not crying so hard anymore, “Yes! How much would you want to sell it for?”

The man said, “Oh, nothing too extreme. How does five hundred bucks sound…?”

“Excellent!” jumped Ryan, interrupting him.

The man said, “Great! What’s your address so I can come by.”

Ryan gave the man his address.

After their transaction, Ryan jumped into his car, and drove to the restaurant. He merrily walked in, and presented the man with his membership card.

“Alas! Ye have obtained a membership card! Please, come with me, and ye shall enjoy the finest Seafood in the state of Georgia”.

Ryan sat down, feeling very soothed by the talking. He ordered a Lobster – Crab combination, with a Dr. Pepper. He thought about his tantrum episode the night before, and laughed about it.

Ryan had never tasted such finer food in his life, and was addicted to this restaurant. He sometimes took a tape recorder, so he could tape record the talking, and play it to himself before he fell asleep at night.