Characters from the Kansas CDs Story

There was a man named Collin Craghead, who lived in Provo, Utah. One day he walked outside to get the mail, and he saw the man from the back of the Kansas CD Audio Visions across the street staring at him. He thought that this was really weird, because he had never seen such a thing before in his life. He went inside, and looked out his bedroom window, and still saw him staring at him. Collin got really scared, so he called his friend McKell Farrer, and told her about this. McKell came over to Collin's house, and saw the man from Audio Visions staring at Collin. She walked up to him, and asked, "Why are you staring at Collin?" He replied, "I ain't no staring at him, you can't say that, I am just standing here". McKell walked away, and met Collin in his front porch. Collin asked, "Why is he staring at me?" McKell said, "I have no idea, he said something weird, and accused me of accusing him of staring at you". They decided to leave and go their friend Rachel Eastland's house, to get away from the man. When they got their, they saw a man throwing apples as far as he could, Collin recognized him from the cover of the first Kansas CD, who was the giant man holding the book and gun. Collin thought that this was really weird, that he had seen two people from covers of Kansas CDs, and Rachel and McKell thought that this was really weird. Since none of them could drive, Collin had his friend Scott Gurney drive them to the mall, because they needed to get away from these neighborhoods with weird people in them. On their drive to the mall, they saw the man from Audio Visions riding a bike really fast, and staring at them, and he was nodding his head really hard. Everyone in the car got really worried, and thought that Collin was being stalked by this dude from Audio Visions. Rachel yelled out the window, "What do you want with us?!" Suddenly he slammed on his bike brakes really hard, and turned around, as if he was a fugitive from law, and saw a cop. Collin said, "This is really weird, and really crazy. I am a little creeped out by this. Rachel, do you have any idea what that bearded man was throwing apples for?" Rachel said, "No, I have no clue". Then they got to the Provo Town Centre, and saw a tall Indian with people circled around him. As they got closer, Collin said, "It's another character from a Kansas cover, Monolith". They saw that he was handing out free money, and everyone was circled around him. Scott, Collin, Rachel and McKell wanted free money, but they were a little scared because it was so weird. Collin walked up to him, and the Monolith dude handed him four twenty dollar bills. Collin divided the money between him, Scott, McKell and Rachel. Scott saw his friend Chris Brockbank in the line, and yelled for him to come over. Chris joined them, and said "This is a really weird day, getting free money from this person". Collin said, "We saw three characters from Kansas CDs so far, and one of them is stalking me". All five of them walked into the mall, and found the nearest CD store, so Collin could show them the CD covers. Collin showed all of them the covers, and all they all started getting really concerned, and worried. When they left the CD store, they a crowd surrounding a man at a desk signing autographs. Collin said, "I hope this isn't another one". As they got closer, sure enough, they saw the old man from the cover of the Kansas CD Leftoverture. He looked up, and started shaking really hard. He threw a book at them. Collin caught the book, and saw that it was a long script of music, and recognized it from the cover of Leftoverture. All five of them decided to walk away, and as they did, they saw a quintet sitting on a stage in the mall. Scott said, "Let's go watch them to get our minds off of our strange day". They took a seat in the audience, and noticed the odd instrumentation of this quinted. They saw one holding a flute, another holding a violin, another holding a french horn, another holding a bassoon, and they saw the person in the middle was holding a giant gun, and he looked extremely pale. He was wearing a red bowtie, while the others were wearing black. Collin said, "Guys, I'd hate to tell you this, but this is the same quintet that is on the cover of the Kansas CD Drastic Measures. This is really, really weird, and I'm afraid it has yet to get weirder. They got up as fast as they could and ran to the nearest store they could find, hoping that they wouldn't find any more. They went into a metals shop, and hid in there. They saw a guy in the back hammering some metal as hard as he could, and he had really big muscles. Both McKell and Rachel were impressed by the muscles, and wanted to get a closer look. Collin had a sneaking suspicion that this was the man from the cover of the Kansas CD Power, and as they got closer, all five ran away. They ran to Scott's purple Volkswagen Beetle, and left the mall. On their way home Collin saw the man from Audio Visions on his bike again, following him. He didn't say anything, and pretended he wasn't there. Suddenly a cop pulled them over, and they had no clue why, because Scott was going the exact speed limit. The cop asked, "Are you Scott Gurney, McKell Farrer, Rachel Eastland, Christopher Brockbank, and Collin Craghead?" All five of them nodded, in total confusion. The cop said, "Come with me". All five of them got in the car, and the cop was silent the whole ride. Nobody had the courage to ask him what was going on, so they remained silent. They arrived at a giant field, with a huge fire with people circled around it. The cop said, "Follow me", so they did. The cop lead them to a giant wooden tower, with a ladder, and instructed them to climb to the top, and look out towards the crowd. They had no other choice, so they climbed to the top. All five of them saw a bunch of random people screaming and chanting at them. The giant fire was burning faster now, and the cop instructed a man named Tom Marshall to go to the microphone. Tom yelled to the crowd, "I have here Collin Craghead, Christopher Brockbank, Scott Gurney, Rachel Eastland and McKell Farrer!" The audience yelled and screamed "BOOOO!" All five of them looked at each other in total confusion, and had no idea what they were going to do, or say. Suddenly Scott saw the man from Audio Visions standing far behind the crowd, staring their way. This was really creepy to them, and they thought this was extremely bizarre. As Chris looked out into the audience, he saw the quintet from Drastic Measures, the Indian from Monolith, the man from Leftoverture, the man from the first Kansas CD, and he noticed the pilot from their new release, Somewhere To Elsewhere. Tom said, "May I ask Pilot Carson to come to the microphone". They saw the pilot from Somewhere to Elsewhere climb up the ladder and go to the microphone. He yelled to the audience, "I have reason to believe, that these five know the whereabouts of Melissa Baker, and they refuse to let us know where she is". All five shook their heads, and said, "What? We don't know anything about this!" Collin said, "Melissa Baker is in my seminary class, and I have no idea what you are talking about". Suddenly a wizard appeared in the fire, with a musicians baton, and was recognized as the conductor from the Kansas CD Always Never The Same. He pointed, and Melissa Baker appeared by the five. Everyone started chasing the wizard, but he disappeared. Collin said, "See, we had nothing to do with this!" Tom said, "The audience is still yelling and chanting at you, I'm sorry". Scott yelled, "What? That makes no sense? What does that have to do with anything?" Melissa yelled, "Why exactly am I hear, and why did you want me here". Tom suddenly started running for no reason, and he jumped in his plane and took off. Melissa asked Collin, "Do you have any idea what is going on?" Collin said, "I have no idea, I'm sorry". Suddenly the cop that pulled them over walked up to the microphone, and said, "Do any of you know the whereabouts of a Steven Moody?" Melissa said, "I'm sorry, but I haven't seen him". The cop bitterly yelled, "You lie! You know where he is! Tell the truth!" Melissa yelled back, "I don't know where he is! I'm sorry! I'm not lying!" Suddenly Collin said, "Why do you need to know where he is?" The cop said, "Because it is the mastermind behind all of this, and he set up the weird characters from Kansas CDs mixing them into the world." Collin immediately said, "Why would he have the Audio Visions dude stalk me?" The cop replied, "The same reason he made the man and his dog from the cover of the Kansas CD Freaks of Nature chase me around my village, but for some reason he can't exit my neighborhood!" Scott immediately said, "Why don't we ask one of Kansas dudes where he is, I mean, after all, Steve created them". Then McKell said, "Collin, Steve put you in this story, can you tell me where he is?" Collin immediately replied, "Yes, he is on the other side Utah Lake". Melissa said, "Alright, let's drive there!" Then Rachel said, "I'm afraid Steve hasn't included anywhere else besides Provo and the land across from Utah Lake in this story, we are going to have to sail across!" Collin then said, "I have an idea, since I am in this story, and Steve wrote it, let's sail across using the ship from the cover of the Kansas CD Point of Know Return, and sail across Utah Lake that way. All six of them went to Utah Lake, saw the ship from Point Of Know Return, and got in. Chris asked, "Does anyone know how to drive this?" Suddenly a ghost appeared on the ship, and Collin said. "That is the ghost from In The Spirit Of Things, the Kansas CD!" Melissa asked, "Can you take us to the other side of Utah Lake?" The ghost replied, "Yes, because Steve wrote this story, and he says I am going to". When they got to the other side, they saw Steve sitting in a beach chair laughing as hard as he could. When they got to him, the cop said, "This isn't funny, make the strange characters from the Kansas CDs go away!" Steve said, "No way dude, they are cool!" Collin told Steve, "Make the man from Audio Visions stop stalking me!" Steve said, "He isn't stalking you, he is stalking the cop, who has followed you all around!" Collin asked, "How come he has stared at us then?" Steve answered, "Because he is blind in one of his eyes, and it is completely turned to the side, while his seeing eye is completely straight on. He was staring at the cop who was in front of him on the road when he was riding his bike. The reason he slammed on his brakes, and turned around, is because the cop turned around." The cop said, "You mean to tell me that you made him stalk me?" Steve said, "Yeah, and I thought it was funny". The cop said, "I am going to arrest you!" Steve said, "No you aren't!" The cop yelled, "Why not?!" Steve said, "Because I'm the creator of this story, and I'm not including me being arrested in this story. Instead, I'm including the part where you forget everything that had happened, and think that you visited this side of Utah Lake, and are on your way home in your green Mercury." The cop said, "Well, I guess I better get going home, dinner is in the oven, and I need to take it out". After he drove off, Steve laughed really hard. Collin said, "What are you going to do to us?" Steve thought, and then he said, "I'll tell you when I think of it". McKell said, "What was the deal with the Kansas dudes?" Steve said, "I thought it was funny, so I made it." Steve then said, "I think I would like a chocolate shake, I will include the part where a chocolate shake appears in my hand. Oh look, a chocolate shake! Yummy!" Collin then said, "Are you trying to be funny? Do you think this is some kind of joke?" Steve laughed even harder, and said, "As long as I am creating this story, I can make as much of a joke as I want, and yes, I think this is really funny, I think it is hilarious! Thank you for asking! Hey look! All six of your pictures are in the sky!" Melissa yelled, "How did you do that, and what is going on?" Steve said, "The creator of stories can go in any direction, and make up whatever they want!" Scott Gurney said, "Then make me have a million dollars!" Steve said, "You already have five million dollars in your wallet, and the rest of you have five million dollars in your wallets as well!" They all looked at Steve in amazement, and said "WOW! I have five million dollars!" Steve said, "Well, you did earlier, now you have no money in your wallet!" They all looked at Steve and yelled, "Hey! Give me my money back!" Steve said, okay, I'll make you a deal. If you can each spend five million dollars by the end of the day, I will give you an additional hundred million each!" They all smiled, and gave each other high fives and laughed, and said "Easy!" Steve said, Walk through this door over here, and you will enter a mall with EVERYTHING you could ever imagine. Remember this, you have until midnight to spend all your money." All six walked through the door, and entered the most amazing shopping mall of all time. It had almost every store that a human being could ever think of. Collin said, "A Star Wars store? That is awesome!" Chris looked to his right, and saw a chocolate shake store. He said, "I wonder what these shakes taste like! I must have one!" Chris walked to the counter, and said "I'll have a large chocolate shake please?" Chris met with the rest and said, "This shake is really good." Collin said, "You only spent a dollar out of your five million dollars! You have to spend all of it if you want to have a hundred million dollars!" Six hours later, when it was 9 PM, Collin had spent one million two hundred eighty three dollars and sixty three cents, Melissa spent two million dollars eighty nine cents, McKell spent three million dollars and thirty one cents, Scott spent one million two thousand three dollars and sixty one cents, Chris spent three million four hundred thousand ninety three thousand four hundred and one dollars, and forty seven cents, Rachel spent three million six hundred thousand, eighty nine dollars and seventy nine cents. They all had more to go, especially Collin. Collin decided to buy the whole stock of diamond rings at Frederick's Diamond Ring store, and spent two million dollars and eighty seven cents. By eleven, Collin, Rachel, McKell, Chris and Melissa had spent their entire five million, but Scott still had four hundred dollars left. He said, "This is easy! I can spend four hundred dollars in twenty seconds! Follow me, and I'll buy a four hundred dollar palm pilot!" They all followed him, and went into a store called Cray's Super Supply Electronics, and Scott found a palm pilot. The salesperson said, "Hmmm.. This doesn't have a price tag on it. Harvey! Can you help me out here!" Ten minutes later, eleven ten PM, they finally got the price for it, and it came to three hundred ninety nine dollars and ninety nine cents. Scott paid, and then realized he still had change in his pocket, about fifty one cents. The others realized that they all had coins in their pockets. There was a fountain with coins in them, so all of them threw the coins in the fountain. All three had accomplished their goal, and happily walked towards the door. They saw the man from Monolith staring at them. Collin said, "Guys! We have to avoid him! He will give us free money! Therefore, we will have to spend more money, and we have forty five minutes, not that much time!" The man from Monolith yelled, "Hey guys! Everyone needs something to believe in! I have money for you!" Melissa yelled, "We need to run away from him, because there is no way he has one hundred million dollars for us each!" They started running, but the man from Monolith started chasing them. He was catching up to them with twenty dollar bills in his hand. Collin reached the door, he opened it as fast as he could, and ran through as fast as he could. The rest followed him, but the Monolith dude was catching up to them. Scott was behind, and he could hear his footsteps get closer. When Scott got through the door, he took a huge breath of relief. Steve said, "Congratulations, you all successfully spent five million dollars. In your wallets is one hundred million dollars, just like I promised." They all gave each other high fives, and were really happy. Collin said, "Guys, I don't know what I will spend this money on, because I have bought every single thing I could possibly want, and now I can't think of anything to buy." All six of them thought, and realized that they had spent their money on everything they could possibly want, and now they had nothing in mind to buy. Steve said, "You can't think of anything to buy? How about a vacation to Hawaii, Europe or Africa? How about a brand new car, or house, money for college? They all looked at each other with huge smiles on their faces and said, "Yeah! Steve! You are a genius!" They all departed with their money, and were really happy.

Steve Moody wrote this story on the Micron computer in his bedroom. He sat in a blue chair, and listened to Kansas when he wrote this. This story was inspired by a story he wrote four years ago with Kansas characters in it.

Special thanks to Collin, McKell, Rachel, Chris, Scott and Melissa for participating in this story.

Special thanks to the covers of Kansas CDs, for inspiring this story.

Special thanks to you, for reading this story.