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CSPAN Dream

 

There is this one dream where this guy named Beardmail
Thompson sat in a LARGE audience, more seats than a
football stadium. There was a speaker that was to
speak for a long time. He was from C-SPAN the
television station. So anyways, Bearmail was sitting
far from the speaker. The speech was the most boring
thing Beardmail had ever heard in his entire life, yet
he could not look away for some odd reason. He was
sooo bored! He figured out that he was dreaming pretty
soon, so he attempted to leave. As soon as this
happened, a police officer came up to him and said,
"Sit down! You are being rude to the speaker!" Since
Beardmail knew this was a dream, he attempted to push
the officer away. Immediately he couldn't move. He was
carried back to his seat. Beardmail attempted to fly
out of his seat. When he started flying, there was a
floating Christmas angel ornament, and she said, "You
know it is wrong to be rude to the speaker, please go
back to your seat!" Beardmail yelled, "NO! NEVER!"
Immediately a really annoying teacher he had in second
grade appeared out of nowhere, pulled him out of
mid-air, and forced him to sit down. She put five
hundred pound weights on his feet, so he could not
leave the speech. Beardmail realized, that maybe the
speech would get better? So he sat. Unfortunately, it
got worse. He couldn't take it anymore. He decided to
start pinching himself, so he'd wake up. Suddenly a
techni-colored basketball came up to him and said,
"Stop abusing yourself!", and handcuffed him. Now he
had weights on his feet, and handcuffs. He thought to
himself, "I'll just scream as loud as I can, I mean,
afterall this is a dream!" He opened his mouth to do
so, when suddenly, a band of flying monkeys flew
towars him from the sky, and shoved two bananas in his
mouth. Now he couldn't speak, use his hands or his
feet. He was trapped. He wished there was something he
could do with his ears, so they would be plugged,
because the speaker's voice was getting on his nerves
bad. He attempted to wiggle his ears, unfortunately
nothing happened. He started crying really hard now.
He wanted nothing more than to wake up from this
nightmare. He thought to himself, "If I ever get out
of this, I never want to sleep again! This stupid
dream is torturing me!" The more he thought about how
unfair it was that he was dreaming about listening to
a boring speech, the more sorry he felt for himself.
He never felt such pain in a dream before. This was
too much to bear. He couldn't take it anymore, yet he
wasn't waking up. There was nothing he could do. He
remembered that he used magic, by moving things with
his telekinetic powers before. He was so bored, he
thought it would pass the time. Suddenly the speaker
turned on his overhead, and the words, "No magic
allowed!" were seen on the large white board. The tear
quantity began to increase. Beardmail was in agony.

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Should I have this guy wake up, and put him out of his
misery?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I'm so evil!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!