Being Bad In Band

There was a guy named Tim Green. He played the trumpet, and started hating band with passion. He decided to release all his hatred for band in the form of acting inappropriately.

When he entered the band room, he said aloud, "I want to hear the sound of a brass instrument playing theme music to a pornographic film!"

The band director said, "Tim! That was inappropriate!"

Tim ignored him, and sat down, taking his trumpet out. When the band director told the band to play a steady G to warm up, Tim puffed his cheeks, and played with the most obnoxious tone as loud as he possibly could. The band director screamed, "Tim! What is the matter! Act like a member of this band!"

Tim stood up, and screamed back, "I play the trumpet! I play the trumpet! Give me a break I am blowing as hard as I can!"

The band director yelled, "Get into my office right now!"

Tim picked up his trumpet, and played taps as loud as he could with obnoxious tone.

"Tim! Get into my office! Now!"

Tim started running around the room screaming, "Goose! You are it you moron!"

"Tim! This is your final warning! In my office now!"

Tim went to his seat, picked up his trumpet, and took the biggest breath he had ever taken in his life, and blew through his trumpet as hard, and as loud as he had ever done, with his cheeks puffed huge. It was the most awful sound any member of the band had ever heard in their entire lives.

The band director got out of his seat, and stomped out of the room. It was obvious where he was headed, the principal's office.

The band members started yelling at Tim.

"Tim! What are you doing?! Are you crazy?! Start acting like a member of this band! You are such an idiot!"

Tim just laughed, and started playing with poor tone again. Despite the frequency of the band members screaming "Stop it!", he kept doing it.

The principal walked in and said, "Tim, could I see you for a minute please?!"

Tim looked at him, and pointed his trumpet towards him. He then blew bad tone out as loud as he could at the principal.

The principal screamed, "Tim! Come with me right now!"

Tim screamed back. "No! I am the greatest, most beautiful trumpet player in the world! I am a miracle! I..."

"Tim! Now! Or so help me, I will expell you from this school forever!"

Tim laughed and said, "You think that scares me?!" Then he proceeded to make the absolute worst sound ever made in the history of mankind. It was so loud, so awful, and so obnoxious. It lasted about five seconds, and everyone wanted to kill themselves after they heard it.

The principal walked up to Tim, and physically forced him to come with him.

Tim screamed, "Abusive! He is being abusive! Somebody help me! Call the cops!"

Tim was expelled from school, and sent to an independent school, with other troublemakers such as himself.

Looking back, Tim never regretted a single action.