The Tale of Alfred the Hand

Written by Esteban Moody, or Steven Moody (Which ever you like, eh?)

There was a man named Alfred the Hand,

He sits on a roof as he looks at the sand,

When the aliens came, he looked like a ranger,

When they took him in their ship, he thought he was in danger,

Off they went into space without his consent,

Alfred had no idea what this all meant

On the ship was a television set,

Alfred turned it on and watched “Teacher’s Pet”,

An alien heard,

An outrage occurred,

Alfred laughed quite hard,

He forgot all about how he was emotionally scarred

The alien entered the room where he sat,

Alfred made funny noises in the form of a cat,

The alien cried and said “No more”,

Alfred made faces and proceeded with more,

The alien informed his crew of such news,

The captain said, “Do with him as you choose”

They arrived on “Jargoon”

Home to the alien “Marmoon”

They threw Alfred out of the ship,

One laughed really hard out of his hip,

The aliens left him there,

They laughed when a bunny came out of his hair

Alfred was alone, but in a good mood,

He didn’t care that the aliens were rude,

There was a car in his sight,

He called for it with all of his might,

The driver jumped out with a grin on his face,

“Welcome young lad, I see you are not carrying a case”

The driver gave Alfred a ride to their town,

Everywhere was a sign with a picture of their governor clown,

The driver escorted Alfred to a place called “Good Rest”,

A place where to sleep, you must be the best,

The driver put a button on his shirt,

It read, “I am the best, and my name is not Bert”