Killing Troj

Recently, a certain someone has been clogging up the oral entertainment guestbook with entries. We don't know who this person is but he/she has named themselves after an American brand of condom - the Trojan. As a result,it has been suggested by local authorities that we kill him/her as a punishment for his/her terrible sin. But why make this a chore? This could be A LOT of fun. So we have come up with some different methods on how to kill him/her to make the whole process more interesting (more will be added later) ************************************************************************************************************** 1) We have reports from several eye-witnesses that the Troj is a very small person. As a result we have perpared hundreds of all-you-can-eat buffets all round the country to tempt him/her to eat the food that he/she has been deprived of for all their life. When some of the food is eaten, the impact of essential proteins, fats and carbohydrates will be such an unusual experience to the sinner's body that they will begin to grow at an incredible rate - so fast infact that within a matter of seconds, he/she will burst and will be propelled out of the atmosphere. ************************************************************************************************************** 2) This discovery was made only recently. Small people seem to have an attraction of running into trees. Therefore, to catch the Troj, put a tree infront of him/her. We have yet to discover why this is but one theroy is that they feel that they could use the tree to propell themselves higher then others and actually feel taller then they really are, thus happier!