May 1992

Chelsea Lawrence flitted around her tiny Dublin flat looking for something appropriate to wear. In the entire time that she had worked for the London based PR firm that handled Def Leppard, she had never been more nervous about an event in her life. And when the firm opened up a sister office in Dublin, she jumped at the chance to go, having fell in love with The World Pub ever since the band’s lead singer, Joe Elliott, threw a housewarming party for the PR staff and assorted others when he moved into his new home there.

Tonight, however, was different. Tonight, there was going to be a party to kick-off the tour for their new album ‘Adrenalize’.

What was different about tonight was the venue of the party. It was to be at Joe Elliott’s old home in Dalkey, which was purchased by his bandmate, and best friend, Rick Savage. Having the PR office in Dublin afforded her the pleasure of seeing Joe and Sav quite frequently and the two gorgeous rock stars took a shine to her like a sister, since Joe was married and Sav was in a serious relationship.

Chelsea had always prided herself on her easy-going, laid back nature. Her ability to talk about anything and everything under the sun, without regard for who she was around, however famous, was like a breath of fresh air to the guys who were constantly surrounded by people who put on fake fronts just to impress them. She was most comfortable around Joe, who had recently been picking her brain for advice about dealing with women’s moods in order to deal with his wife better.

Although she was equally comfortable around Sav, having visited his home, attended parties with him and even talked on the phone like old buddies, she had developed feelings for him that were far from friendly. As much as she tried to keep her feet on the ground and her heart in her chest, it was getting more and more difficult. She tried her damnest to think of him as just a friend, but, whenever she saw those massive blue eyes or heard that sultry British accent, she found herself failing. But, no matter how hard it was, she knew that there would never be a chance in the world for her to be with him in a romantic way. And she knew very well the main reason for that.

Dara!

She was Sav’s girlfriend since 1990 and she would be at the party tonight. She was a petite aspiring acress with long, blonde hair about as wild as Sav’s. He always seemed to favor blonde’s so with her naturally wavy mahogany colored hair and deep red highlights, she knew that she’d never catch his eye that way. She was his friend and Dara was his girl friend.

She couldn’t stand her.

Sure, all Chelsea wanted was for Sav to be happy. All the other bandmembers had taken the matrimonial plunge and Sav was the last one to do so. And she knew that Dara was hanging by a thread, waiting for Sav to pop the question. Although she wanted nothing but his happiness, there was something about Dara that she couldn’t put her finger on that she just didn’t like. She seemed to lack a genuineness about her that made Chelsea think that what she was on the outside wasn’t what she was on the inside. She was sometimes aloof and a little haughty. Well, after all, she was the girlfriend of a gorgeous, rich, famous rock star. She would go to the party tonight and try her best not to judge and think nasty thoughts about her and concentrate on finding someone for herself.

Hey, you never know who’ll show up at a rock ‘n roll party!

She finally decided on a short, burgendy halter style dress that had a deep square cut neck. She put on sheer black thigh high stockings and simple black pumps. She drew the sides of her hair up and secured it with a black comb, pulling a few loose, curly pieces down around her face.

She did her make-up in a very soft palette, smoky eyes, pink cheeks and lips. She then fastened small pearl and gold drops from her ears and stepped back to look in the mirror.

"Not too bad, Chel…not too bad at all. Now lets just hope someone shows up that’s worth all this fussing and you catch their eye."

No matter what she thought, she knew that the only eyes she longed to have stare at her were two huge blue ones.

"Stop it, girl," she chided herself. "Just stop it. Its just innocent flirting that goes on between the two of you. Its second nature to these guys to flirt and you shouldn’t take it seriously. When are you gonna get that through your thick skull? Just be grateful you have his friendship."

Chelsea then drove to the office where she met up with her boss, John, his wife Marleen, his secretary Sylvia, a lovely, vibrant Irish woman in her late 30’s, and her husband Stuart. The three of them ran the Dublin office with such a tight fist that they put the 10-person team that ran the London office to shame sometimes. Since Chelsea would be dateless tonight, they didn’t want her showing up alone. They all agreed to meet at the office tonight and drive into Dalkey together.

On the way over, Sylvia noticed Chelsea’s skittishness and whispered to her. "Why are you so nervous, dear?"

Chelsea’s eyes widened, not realizing that her condition was noticable. "I…I don’t know what you mean. Do I look nervous?"

"Like you’re going to the electric chair. We’ve been to so many of these little soiree’s before. This one should be no different."

"Absolutely," Chelsea stated. "I’m fine…really."

"By the way, you look lovely tonight. That dress is absolutely incredible on you. If I was 28 and had a body like yours I’d probably dare something like that as well."

"Oh, thanks Sylvia. Actually, this has been hiding in my closet for a while. I bought it for a blind date that I had when I first moved to Dublin that never quite materialized."

"Well," Sylvia said, "any man looking at you in that would go blind." She then moved to whisper in Chelsea’s ear. "It’s a good thing that Savage already wears glasses, eh?"

Chelsea turned a mortified face to Sylvia. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean….I see how he looks at you whenever the two of you are in the same room, that’s what."

"Sylvia, don’t be ridiculous. Rick and are are just friends. He’s just comfortable around me, is all, and he likes that. Anyway, he’s practically engaged."

"Ugh, he’s making a mistake if he marries that girl," Sylvia spat. "Oh, listen to me. I shouldn’t be judging people like that. If Rick likes her enough to have her as his girlfriend, then, well, there must be something good about her."

Chelsea had no choice but to agree.

They arrived at Sav’s house on Strawberry Hill that already looked to be in full swing, judging from the mass of cars that littered his private driveway. John rang the doorbell and a black and white attired waitress who worked for the caterer answered and let them in.

Chelsea stuck close to Sylvia, not knowing why. Half the people in this room she’d seen dozens of times before. She immediately caught the eye of Phil Collen and Rick Allen who were sitting on a couch together with their tour manager, Malvin Mortimer. The three of them looked in her direction, smiled warmly and genuinely and waved. Chelsea smiled and waved back. She really liked Phil a lot. He was soooo much fun, an absolute prankster.

Sitting across from them in another sofa were their wives, Jacki Collen and Staci Allen, who were getting themselves acquainted with Jewels Campbell, the wife of Vivian Campbell, the guitarist the band got to replace Steve Clark after he passed away last year. She noticed Viv over in the corner talking with their manager, Peter Mensch, and Joe, who’s wife Karla was wrapped around him like a python, afraid to let him out of her sight.

Her heart frantically beat. No sign of Sav.

Suddenly, Joe noticed their group, smiled and excused himself, Karla trailing after him like a puppy.

"Aye, John, glad you can make it," Joe said shaking John’s hand. "Sylvia…good to see you."

He then turned to Chelsea and whistled low, which caused her to blush and roll her eyes.

"Chelsea, luv…don’t you look smashing. Gonna have to put all the men on leashes here tonight."

Behind him, Karla rudely cleared her throat.

Joe turned around and eyed her warily. "Oh, stop it, luv. Chelsea’s a good friend. Maybe we can play matchmaker tonight." Joe quickly scanned the room. "Then again, I wouldn’t trust half the schmoozers in this room as far as I could throw them."

"Thanks, Joe, but I’m not here to be fixed up," Chelsea said. "I’m just gonna wait and hope that, one day, God will drop the right guy in my lap."

All of a sudden, Chelsea felt a tall, lean body slam into her from behind which sent her flying into one of the twin columns that separated the foyer from the main living area. She then felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder.

"Oh, bloody hell! Luv…I’m so sorry. Are you alright?"

Chelsea got her wits about her and turned, prepared to gaze upon the face that went with that sultry British accent. When she did, her heart began to beat frantically.

There was Sav, his hand still upon her bare shoulder which sent chills through her entire body. He was dressed in black jeans, black boots and a black, long sleeved shirt that had only two buttons done. A simple silver cross laid upon the visible portion of his incredible chest. Her eyes slowly wandered to his face, a sight which made her fast beating heart almost stop.

His frosted, blonde hair hung past his shoulders in a wild, sexy mass of curls, his soft lips were slightly parted with concern and his mind-boggling blue eyes were glassy.

"I’m alright, Rick. This massive column prevented me from hitting the floor."

"I’m..I’m really sorry. Tripped over the edge of that bloody rug."

"Christ, Sav," Joe said, "put your damn glasses on so you can see where you’re going!"

Chelsea saw the very large champagne glass in his right hand that was almost empty and instantly knew that it wasn’t his poor eyesight that caused him to nearly knock her over.

He was smashed!

"Nah, I’m okay. Anyway…"

He stopped what he was saying when his glazed blue eyes adjusted to do a double take on Chelsea.

"Wow, Chel….you look right lovely in that dress. The color matches the highlights in your hair."

Chelsea’s insides fluttered. Did she hear right? He actually noticed some small detail about her? Drunk as he was!

"Thank you Rick. Um, John and Sylvia are here too with their spouses," Chelsea said as she motioned with her hand to them.

"Aye, John, Sylvia, welcome. Sorry about my entrance. Listen, make yourselves comfortable. Just about everyone you know is here, all the food’s out and there’s waiters walking around with champagne. Enjoy."

"Thanks, Rick," John said as he and his wife went over to talk to some people they recognized. Sylvia wiggled her eyebrows at Chelsea before her and her husband grabbed glasses of champagne from a passing waiter then ventured into the living room.

Sav then turned back to Chelsea. "Luv, are you sure you’re alright? I fell into you pretty hard, didn’t I?"

"Really, Rick, I’m fine. You, however look a little, um…tipsy. Let me get you some coffee."

"Yeah, mate," Joe agreed. "How many glasses of champagne does that make?"

"Well," Sav said, trying not to slur, "I had a few to get my nerve up, then a few to calm them down afterwards."

"Um, seems like a few too many. Stop making such a big deal about it. We all did it and we survived," Joe said, even as Karla tweaked his arm at the comment.

Chelsea was confused. "Rick, what is it that you needed to get drunk in order to do?"

"Hey there…glad you made it," came a female voice with an Irish accent from behind Sav. "Rick, please tell me you didn’t tell her yet!"

Chelsea looked past the exasperated look on Sav’s face to see Dara come up behind him.

"Tell me what?"

Dara pushed right past Sav and held her left hand up under Chelsea’s nose. A stunning, diamond engagement ring sparkled in front of her face.

"Well, what do you think? Finally, huh?"

Chelsea numbly took Dara’s hand and held it out at a distance, for the brilliance of the diamond almost blinded her. Her face was completely expressionless, which she immediately realized and changed, as not to make her broken heart too obvious.

"Dara….wow…this is…wow," was all she could say before looking up into her face, which shone with victory to have finally snagged the rich gorgeous bass player for Def Leppard.

Who was now leaning up against the column she had previously been pushed into, draining the contents of his champagne glass, oblivious to the hoopla of his recent engagement.

"Yeah, that’s what I said. I couldn’t contain myself. Well, I mean, I did expect something this size, with all his money and all."

Chelsea politely nodded as Dara brought the ring back to admire it again. Chelsea then glanced to Joe who was rolling his eyes, then to Karla, who was looking at her own engagement ring, wondering if it was smaller than Dara’s. She then looked to Sav, who had his eyes fixed on her. He had a worried look on his face, as if he was looking for her approval – or even apologizing.

"Rick, Dara…congratulations. This is wonderful. Truly wonderful. All you guys are finally settled down. And Phil’s a daddy already. I guess the wild days are officially behind you now, huh?"

Joe opened his mouth to say something before Karla cut in. "Oh, they’ve been over for a few years for this one here," motioning to Joe. "After all, we have been married since 1989 and I make sure that I keep the reigns tight, right babe?"

"Uh, right, luv," Joe sheepishly replied.

"Well," Dara said, "unfortunately we won’t be married until this damn tour’s over, which won’t be until October of next year. Its okay, because I’ll need the time to plan this thing, which’ll be difficult doing while Rick and I are on the road. Which reminds me, uh….. oooh, I’m sorry, my cousin Kevin just came in. I have to tell him. Chelsea, luv….come find me later. I have to ask you something. Excuse me, guys."

With that she reached her hand up behind Sav’s neck and pulled him down for a lusty kiss that was basically meant to tell the women in the room that he was hers. Chelsea looked away, unable to bear the sight. Her eyes locked with Joe’s who looked at her as if he could read her mind. He faintly smiled at her, as if he was trying to comfort her or something.

"Joe, we’ve been standing here forever. Lets go get something to eat. I’m starving," whined Karla.

"Okay….Chel," he said to Chelsea, "talk with you later." He then leaned in to whisper to her. "Try to enjoy yourself."

With that, Joe pulled away and gave her a wink. "What was that for," she asked herself?

Now that their little group dispersed in various directions, Chelsea suddenly found herself alone with Sav, who had just snatched another glass of champagne off the tray of a passing waiter.

"Um, Rick…don’t you think you should cool it a bit?"

Sav just shrugged his shoulders, uncaring.

Chelsea stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "Rick…are you alright?

Sav turned to her and looked deep into her beautiful dark eyes that seductively slanted upward. He suddenly felt his head spin and the champagne glass start to slip from his hand. Chelsea saw it and took the glass from him.

"I think you better start drinking coffee, else you’re gonna be in a bad way in the morning. Let me go to the kitchen and get you some."

"I don’t care what I’m gonna feel like tomorrow," he said in slurry British, "all I care about is how numb I can make myself right now."

"Why, for God’s sake? C’mon, Rick. You’re not nervous about getting married, are you? All the guys have done it. You’ve been with Dara for almost 2 years. If you didn’t think she was the one, you never would’ve asked her, right?"

"Yeah, right," he said blankly.

"You’ve just got pre-wedding jitters. Getting married isn’t that bad."

"Why is it that all the single people say that? How would you know if its bad or not?"

"Well, you’re right – I don’t. I can only go by the couples that I’ve seen. John and his wife have a good marriage and so do Sylvia and Stuart. I have my brother and sister.…"

"Yeah, well aside from my own parents and brothers, who I don’t get to see too often, all I have is the band to look too. Man, Joe’s only been married 2 ½ years and Karla’s got him by the nuts. I just…."

"Rick….then why did you propose if you’re not sure?"

"Well, I am…I mean, she’s put up with me and has been patient with the writing, recording and touring. I..I do love her."

"That’s good to know at least," Chelsea said as her insides dropped.

"Its just that, in this business, its hard to find someone that you can trust to give the rest of your life over to. Dara came along and stood by me and put up with all the crap that goes along with this business. I do want to get married. I mean, I want a normal life. I…I just didn’t think I’d meet anyone else that would withstand all this.

Sav spoke those last words with sorrow as he looked at Chelsea with a pained expression. Almost like regret. For what, she didn’t know. Then it suddenly dawned on her.

"No," she thought to herself. "No way. We’re just friends, is all. He just made a big decision in his life and just has a case of cold feet and needs someone to commiserate with. He’ll look at things differently in the morning, after he gets over his hangover."

"I wish….." Sav murmured. "I wish…."

"What, Rick..what do you wish?"

He put a finger under her chin an bore his beautiful blue eyes into hers. "I wish you moved to Dublin sooner."

He then seductively ran his finger under her chin and up her cheek as she stood there frozen, oblivious to the throng of people behind them who may be watching.

Sav and Dara were already a steady item by the time she met him and Dara’s claws were implanted firmly into him.

Chelsea finally regained her senses from the feel of his finger caressing her face and grabbed his arm.

"Rick, no more champagne. Go into the kitchen and get some coffee. Please."

"Come with me," he begged her in a seductive whisper.

"I…" was all she could say before Dara rejoined them.

"You two still hanging out here? What’s going on? Rick, you’re friggin’ hashed. Why are you drinking so much."

"I’m not hashed," he retorted. "I’m celebrating, luv. I’m celebrating a new album, a new tour and……oh, yeah, we’re getting married."

"Dara, I’m trying to convince him to get some coffee. He’s in for a bad morning tomorrow."

"Well, that’s his problem," she said unfeelingly. "I’m not here to babysit him. I have a wedding to plan. Rick, go sober up and try not to make a spectacle of yourself. Right now, I have to talk to Chelsea. C’mon."

Chelsea let Dara pull her away by the hand as she turned her head to see Sav, abandoned, drunk, and leaning up against the column to keep from falling. He looked like a man who’s life, as he knew it, was about to come to an end. She couldn’t get what he said out of her mind.

What did he mean by that?

Dara pulled her down on a couch. "Okay. I know its soon, but, well, who am I kidding. I’ve been planning this wedding long before Rick proposed. Positive thinking, you know. Anyway, I’ve had my bridesmaids picked out, just a family member and a few close friends I can trust. However, I’m sure Rick is probably going to have his two brothers, my brother and some of the band in the wedding and I don’t have enough girls. I was wondering, since Rick thinks of you as the sister he never had, if you would be a bridesmaid."

Chelsea felt herself go pale. Oh, God, not just a minute ago Rick was wishing she had moved to Dublin sooner, for reasons that had her wracking her brain to figure out why, and now his wife-to-be wants her to be present, front and center, as they profess their undying love and devotion to each other on their wedding day.

Everything was fine until she walked through this door tonight. Up until then, Rick was a friend – a good friend, whom she was very much attracted to. She worked very hard to convince herself that that was it.

She now knew she was wrong.

She had secretly been in love with him since she met him and tried to mask that unrequited love as nothing but friendship.

Now that he was to marry another, she knew it was a big lie. But it was too late. Not that it wouldn’t have mattered. Although she considered herself attractive and in pretty good shape, she wasn’t the type that rock stars get involved with – let alone marry! Phil and Joe’s wives were models. Rick Allen’s wife was blonde and beautiful. And here was petite, blonde Dara.

And now she was now faced with a request to be part of his wedding day. That would mean she would be part of his life on an intimate basis from now until they married. Which wouldn’t be until the ‘Adrenalize’ tour ends in late 1993. They’d probably marry right after that. Well, it was the least she could do for someone who…..’thinks of me as his sister!’

If from now until the wedding will be the last bit of closeness she’ll ever have with Sav, then she’d take what she could get.

"Of course, Dara. I…I would be honored to be a bridesmaid."

"Good, I’m glad. And you’re right – it is an honor. To be part of a rock and roll wedding of the last single member of Def Leppard. Man, there’s gonna be broken hearts all over the place. I’ve seen how the women at concerts lust after him. Can’t say I blame them, though. After all, he is friggin’ gorgeous. Which is why I want to have girls as my bridesmaids that I can trust. The other girls are married or either, you know, not the type he’d ever consider. And, like I said, you’re practically his sister so I know there won’t be a problem there. This wedding is gonna be a media blast, I can just feel it."

Chelsea sat there on the couch listening to Dara ramble on like a conceited, uppity little bitch. "How dare she think she’s doing me a favor by asking me to be a bridesmaid!"

"You may be right," Chelsea held her tongue and decided to agree with her.

After sitting next to Dara for about 15 minutes, having to bear listening to what she had planned so far, Chelsea got up and sought out Sylvia. Truth be told, she wanted to leave immediately. She just couldn’t stand being there any longer. Her eyes cautiously scanned the enormous house for Sav, who was no where to be found.

She only hoped that he wasn’t passed out somewhere.

She mingled for a bit more before her group called it a night, since they had to be in the office early the next day. She made her rounds to say her goodbyes, still wondering where Sav was. She went up to Joe and poked him on the shoulder.

"Uh, do you know where the host has been hiding?"

"I’ve been wondering that myself for the last half hour," Joe said with some concern as he glanced around the room. "Everyone’s kinda into their own thing that no one’s noticed."

"Except you," Chelsea said.

"And…you," Joe responded.

"Well, I..I…its just that we’re leaving and we want to say goodbye. Don’t want to appear rude, right?"

"Yeah, right," Joe said sarcastically.

"Okay, Joe….give. What are you hinting at?"

"Well….." Joe began to say before a voice coming up behind Chelsea interrupted him.

"Aye, you’re not leaving already?"

Chelsea knew that British accent too well, and it still slurred. She turned around and found Sav with, thankfully, a cup of tea in his hands. He looked directly into Chelsea’s eyes, awaiting an answer to his question.

"Yes, Rick..we’re leaving. Gotta be in the office early tomorrow. I…I was just asking Joe if he knew where you were so we could say goodbye."

"Well, I took you up on your advice and took to tea. I then went outside for a while to get some air. My head’s still spinning a bit."

"I’m glad you stopped drinking," Chelsea said. "If anything, you’ll be thankful in the morning."

"Yeah mate," Joe said. "Your eyes are still glassy. I think you better just carry the teapot around with you."

Sav just smirked before looking back to Chelsea. Joe saw the look and backed away from them. He knew Sav had a secret little thing for Chelsea, even while he was dating Dara. Sav really liked the way she made him feel so comfortable. She made him feel like a person, not a rock star. And, she could chat up soccer as good as any guy! He had never had a female ‘friend’ – not with his reputation! When he met Chelsea, he was serious with Dara. He satisfied himself with a friendship with her, as hard as it was to get past her beautiful face and body.

Joe would often tease Sav when he caught him staring at Chelsea too much when she wasn’t looking. Sav was always looking for excuses to go into the Dublin office or call down there for something just to see her or hear her voice. As much as he tried to hide it, he couldn’t hide it from Joe.

However, as much as he had an attraction for her, he just proposed to Dara tonight. Joe could only hope that her feelings for him went past his profession and bank account and that his life with her would be peaceful. He wished that for all his bandmates.

Although Joe stood away, he continued to watch them.

"Rick, again, thanks for inviting us. It was a good time. Good luck on the tour And, congratulations again."

"Will I see you at some point during?"

"Um, maybe the England shows next month. I’m not sure about any of the States shows. I definitely want to go to the Don Valley show next June."

"That’s a year away," Sav said. "Man, I can’t wait for that one. Finally a show in our home town who didn’t accept us."

"Well I don’t think you have to worry about that now. Anyway, I see John over there flagging me. I really have to go Rick. Thanks…again."

Chelsea held her hand out to which Sav just stared at it. He took it and pulled her forward and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, achingly close to the corner of her mouth. His lips lingered there for a few seconds before he raised his head. Chelsea saw a look on his face that warmed her, however she chalked it up to the champagne.

"I’ll see you soon, then?"

"Probably. Bye."

"Bye."

Rick turned and took a sip of his tea as he watched her walk out of his house. He scanned the room and saw that the party was winding down and other people were making to leave. He then spotted Dara surrounded by the wives of the other bandmembers, no doubt talking about their upcoming wedding. He sighed heavily before Joe caught his eye.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Don’t bloody tell me nothing, Joe! Whats that look for?"

"Well, you look unsure of yourself, Sav."

"Joe, I just made a decision that’s gonna affect the rest of my life. Of course I’m nervous."

"I didn’t say nervous….I said unsure," Joe corrected.

"Why wouldn’t I be sure? If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have proposed, right?"

"Right," Joe mockingly agreed. "I mean, if you were unsure, then that would mean that there may be, uh...someone else. And we know that’s not the case, right?"

Sav turned and looked towards the door that Chelsea just walked out of. No, there was just no way.

"Right," Sav regretfully answered.

2

Sav woke late the following morning with a pounding headache. He was sprawled on his stomach on the couch in his entertainment room. He had been too tired to even make it up to bed. He heard a bit of a commotion going on upstairs which made his head pound harder.

"Bloody hell!"

He got up fast – too fast – and his head spun. He sat down and held his head to slow it down, when it dawned upon him that the details of the previous evening were fuzzy. However, one major detail of the evening didn’t escape his mind.

He was now officially betrothed.

And he heard his intended’s voice upstairs with what sounded like a mass of people. "Who the hell could be here?" he thought.

He slowly walked up the stairs to see Dara directing several people who were cleaning up from the party the night before. He knew that he needed aspirin fast before he could deal with anything else. And then a nice, long, hot shower. He glanced up at the clock and couldn’t make out the time. He felt his shirt pocket for his glasses but they weren’t there.

"Bloody, friggin’ eyesight," he cursed as he walked into the kitchen and pressed his face up against the microwave to make out the time on the digital. 10:30am. Crap! He had to be at Joe’s by noon for a band meeting with Malvin. As he tried to make it out of the kitchen to go to the masterbedroom, he was caught by Dara.

"Well, its about time there, sleeping beauty. Then again, considering how much you drank last night, I’m surprised you’re even coherent, let alone been able to make it to bed last night."

"Dara, please….I just need to get some aspirin and then under the shower spray. I have to be at Joe’s by noon. Gotta a lot to go over before we leave next week. How about some tea, luv."

Dara sighed and yelled out for the housekeeper to get Sav some tea. Sav winced at the sound of her voice and scrunched his face in reaction to it.

"Dara, could you be a little kinder, please? Anyway, I asked if you would get it for me."

"Rick, can’t you see I’m busy keeping an eye on these people. Anyway, that’s why you have a housekeeper – to do these menial things for you."

Sav just shook his head, not wanting to argue about something so stupid. "Whatever, look, when its done just bring it in to me, please. I gotta go get ready."

"Fine," she flatly said before going back to supervising.

An hour later, as Sav was leaving the house, he passed by the column that separated the foyer from the living area. Something rang a bell about that column, but his brain was still fuzzy about last night to remember.

He arrived at Joe’s a little after noon to which the rest of the band and Malvin were already there.

"Wow, mate," Joe marveled. "I didn’t expect to see you walking in, especially after all you drank last night."

"Sod off, Joe…I’m still not well. At least I didn’t throw up. However, I don’t remember much of last night."

"Well, do you at least remember proposing to Dara?"

Sav gave Joe an irritated look. "That…I remember."

"Lets see," Joe continued, "do you remember knocking poor Chelsea into the column in your drunken stupor?"

The column! That’s why it was familiar. "Oh, God….now I do! I…oh, now I remember talking to her. She was telling me to drink coffee, I think. She…..she had on a burgendy dress, didn’t she."

"Yeah, she did," Joe answered. "She looked rather hot. It was short, halter style….."

"Joe! Christ, you’re a married man! And…she’s supposed to be a friend."

Joe inwardly chuckled at Sav’s perturbed response to his opinion of Chelsea.

"Yeah, so," Joe said. "What, I can’t look? Anyway, you’re as good as married, my friend."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean, you were eyeing her rather intently last night….almost like you made the mistake of asking the wrong woman to marry you."

Sav gave Joe an incredulous look.

"Joe…mate, that’s absolutely ludicrous! We’re….we’re friends, that’s all," Sav said vehemently, trying to convince Joe. "I..I just feel comfortable around her. I don’t have to play the strutting rock star. I can be myself and not disappoint. I like that because, after a while, you begin to forget who you really are. Chelsea makes me feel like Rick…not Sav."

"Okay, okay, I believe you," Joe said, not believing a word of it. After 14 years together, he could see right through his best friend. "Its good to know you don’t feel anything for her, especially since she’s gonna be your wife-to be’s bridesmaid."

Sav’s blue eyes bulged. "What?"

"Oh, yeah," Joe continued, loving the look on his face. "Dara asked her to be a bridesmaid last night. Something about Chelsea being ‘the sister you never had’. Dara thought it would be appropriate to have her in the wedding. If you ask me, she just doesn’t have enough bridesmaids to match up with your groomsmen."

"What groomsmen? Bleeding Christ, I just got engaged last night! The last thing on my mind is picking out a wedding party!"

"Well, seems Dara’s already done that for you. Ooops, sorry, mate. Didn’t mean to spill that. Well, I guess she’ll inform you who’ll you’ll be having and you can hash it out with her."

"And how do you know all this."

"Karla. Seems your impending nuptials was all Dara could talk about last night and, of course, I had to get an earful on the ride home last night."

Sav just shook his head. "How long is this tour gonna be again?"

"Not long enough, according to your face. Don’t worry, mate. Its just the jitters. Dara’s just excited. All women get this way when they’re getting married. Nothing to worry about."

"Joe?"

"What?"

"Did…did I hurt Chelsea last night when I fell into her?"

Joe smiled at Sav’s concern. "No, she’s fine. She was concerned about how drunk you were. She was ready to throw on a pot of coffee for you on the spot."

Sav’s mind wandered to this morning when he asked Dara to get him a simple cup of tea to which she promptly delegated to the housekeeper. And here was Chelsea, a guest in his home at a party, wanting to serve him.

"Man, I must’ve acted like a wanker last night."

"Well, you did have too much champagne. Aside from almost knocking Chelsea senseless, you were fine.’

"Christ, maybe I should call her at the office. To apologize, ya know."

"If it makes you feel better go ahead."

Sav first went in to greet the rest of the band and Malvin and excused himself for a minute. He grabbed Joe’s portable and dialed the PR office. Sylvia answered the phone and, after thanking Sav again for last night, switched the call to Chelsea.

"Hello?"

"Chelsea…hi, this is Sav, uh..Rick." So many people called him Sav that he liked it when someone used his Christian name.

"Rick…hi," Chelsea stammered a bit.

"Chelsea, listen. I…I want to call to apologize for my behavior last night. I, um, unfortunatley, don’t recall much of what happened but Joe told me that I almost knocked you over."

"Yeah, you did. Thank God I fell into the column, else I would’ve sprawled on the floor. And, being in a dress that would’ve been a little awkward."

Sav suddenly found himself getting hard imagining Chelsea’s dressing riding up her long, lovely legs.

"Um…well, are you sure you’re alright? Please tell me that you’re not hurt?"

"No, Rick..I’m not. I’m perfectly fine. You didn’t have to call just for that but it was thoughtful of you to do so."

Suddenly, all the comfort that Sav ever felt talking to Chelsea was melting. He felt like a tongue tied lad – why he didn’t know. He was able to talk to her about anything. After all, he was engaged to another woman. However, the sound of her voice was soothing and he didn’t want to stop talking to her. His mind quickly raced for something to say.

"So, I hear you’re gonna be in the wedding."

"Yeah. Dara sure isn’t wasting any time. I guess since she’s gonna be on the road with you that she wants to get some details out of the way before she leaves and just work on the big stuff in between. So…..have you set a date yet?"

"A date? Please, I just woke up with a major hangover this morning, barely remembering that I am getting married. Probably after the tour. We did agree on that."

"Yeah, that’s what Dara said too."

All of a sudden, Joe yelled for Sav that it was time to join them.

"Chelsea, listen…I’ve got to go. I ….I just wanted to call to apologize and make sure you’re alright."

"Again, Rick..it wasn’t necessary, but thank you anyway. I know you guys are leaving next week. I’ll probably be at a few of the England shows in June. So…until then… I probably won’t see or hear from you. Good luck and take care of yourself, you hear?"

"Yeah, I will. You too, luv."

"I will Rick. Bye."

"Bye."

Sav clicked off the phone with a long, heavy sign then went to join the rest of the band.

3

November 25, 1993

Clontarf, Ireland

Sav and Dara’s wedding day arrived on a brisk, but sunny day. The white stretch limo carrying bridesmaids pulled up in front of St. John the Baptist church as a Rolls Royce carrying the bride and her father pulled up behind it.

Chelsea held up her gown with one hand while the driver helped her, and the other girls, out of the limo. As they approached the church doors, she caught a reflection of herself in the window.

The bridesmaids gowns were cream colored, long sleeved with an empire waist. Dara had expressed wanting a medieval flair for her bridesmaids and thought this style was perfect. Chelsea took one look at reflection in the window, cursing the white flowers in her hair.

She looked like she should be dancing around the May Pole!

Just then, the driver of the Rolls opened the door. Out came Dara’s father who then helped his daughter out. Her wedding gown was of a similar medieval fashion but in a shade of ice blue. She wore her brassy, blonde hair long and straight and had flowers in her hair as well.

Very simple.

The wedding march started and, one by one, the girls walked down the aisle. The groomsmen were already waiting at the alter. When it came Chelsea’s turn, she took a long deep breath, preparing to lock eyes with Sav who was waiting at the alter for his bride.

Its not as if it were the first time she’s be seeing him since the party. She had attended the England dates of the ‘Adrenalize’ tour last June and the Don Valley performance this past June, which was absolutely incredible. And, of course, she had seen Sav a few times since the tour ended and at the wedding rehearsal dinner a few nights ago.

He definitely seemed a lot calmer and surer than he did the night he got engaged. Even though her heart tumbled everytime she looked at him, deep down inside, she was happy for him. Even Dara had been very friendly and easy to deal with. Two nights ago, she had spent four hours with her helping her to organize the seating and number the cards.

And now, after a year and a half, Sav’s wedding day had come. Chelsea made her way slowly and surely down the aisle, making brief eye contact with those she knew. She smiled when she saw Rick, Phil and Viv who were there with their wives. She kept her eyes off the front of the alter until she could do so no longer.

There was Sav dressed in black trousers and coattails, gray waistcoat, white shirt and black necktie. His long, wild hair had been cut to where it just brushed the top of his shoulders. He met her look with twinkling blue eyes that shined through his glasses. Chelsea gave him a warm, friendly grin, trying her best to still her rapidly beating heart at the gorgeous sight of him.

She then quickly scanned the line to see his best man, their tour manager Malvin, standing next to him. The rest of the groomsmen consisted of Joe, Sav’s two brothers and Dara’s brother.

Chelsea took her place at the foot of the alter while she waited for two more girls to make their way down. When they did, everyone then rose as Dara made it down the aisle. Chelsea watched everyone’s reaction to the bride coming down the aisle – Sav’s especially. He looked to be a mixture of nerves and joy. As much as her heart broke, she knew deep down inside that his happiness was all that mattered.

Sav took Dara’s arm after she kissed her father and led her to kneel at the alter. When it came time to exchange vows, Chelsea felt the tears forming in her eyes.

"Do you, Richard, take Dara to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Having exchanged wedding rings, the priest pronounced them man and wife. Sav wrapped his arms around his wife for a proper but passionate kiss while everyone in the church applauded. The newly wedded couple then made their way down the aisle as each bridesmaid met up with their partner to escort them down. Chelsea was glad her partner was Joe, for she didn’t know Dara or Sav’s brothers too well.

When they all got to the receiving line, Joe bent down and whispered in her ear. "You look rather fetching, in a medieval wench sort of way."

Chelsea gave him a look meant to kill which caused Joe to smirk. "Don’t start with me Joe."

The bride, groom and bridal party made its way out of the church and into a throng of photographers and media, which was expected. Sav and Dara posed for a few shots before getting in the Rolls alone. The rest of the wedding party piled into the stretch limo’s and took off for the reception at the Berkley Court Hotel.

The reception was a very lavish affair. A DJ spun a mix of all different kinds of music as the guests danced, drank and enjoyed themselves. Chelsea fueled herself with several glasses of Cristal before she loosened up. She got out on the dance floor herself with some of the other bridesmaids before Jacki, Jewels and Staci joined in as well. Karla had stayed glued to Joe’s side who was sitting with Viv, Rick and Phil as they watched the girls dance.

Suddenly, Phil jumped up and joined the throng of women. "Aye, ladies, get in line," he mused and he took turns spinning each lady around.

When he got to Chelsea she was laughing so hard from the mixture of the champagne and spinning. When the song was over, she excused herself to go outside for some air. On her way out, she saw Sav and Dara walking from table to table, greeting their guests. She noticed that he looked happy, very happy and a tear formed in her eye for that happiness.

She went outside into the chill November air and cleared her head and lungs. She was only out there for a minute or two before a male voice with a sweet Irish accent called out to her.

"Excuse me….Chelsea, is it?"

Chelsea turned upon hearing her name and smiled at the nice looking, brown haired, hazel eyed man.

"Yes…do I know you?"

"No, well, not formally. I’m Kevin Corcoran, Dara’s cousin."

"Oh, yes…..wait, now I remember. Well, I never met you but I seem to remember you showing up at the party at Rick’s house last May."

"Yes, that was me. I remember you as well. You had on a very lovely burgendy dress, I believe."

"You…you remembered that?"

"Um, yeah," he said a little embarrassedly. "I..I’m sorry I never got the opportunity to get introduced to you that night. You left before I had a chance. I…I hope you don’t think me forward but I asked Dara if you were, you know, steady with anyone and she said no. I also noticed that you’re not here with a date either.’

"No, no I’m here alone. I don’t mind since I know a lot of the people here, you know, because of the business."

"That’s right, you work for the band’s PR firm. Dara told me."

"What else did Dara tell you about me?"

Kevin chuckled. "Oh, nothing to get worried about. You seem to be pretty friendly with the band, well, Sav and Joe at least since you all live in Ireland."

"Yeah, I see and talk to them often. To me their just regular guys, not famous rock stars, you know."

"I know what you mean. Sav’s a real nice guy. Very laid back and quiet. Dara’s gonna be very happy."

"Of course she is," Chelsea thought to herself.

"Are you and her close cousins?" Chelsea asked

"Oh, yeah. We practically grew up together. Our fathers are brothers. We’ve always been very close. We went to the same school and hung out with the same people. We’ve maintained that closeness even to this day. She’s more like a sister than a cousin."

"Yeah," Chelsea thought. "I know what its like to be thought of as a ‘sister’."

Suddenly, the sound of some really good dance music came on to which Kevin saw Chelsea’s face light up.

"Do you, um…wanna go inside and dance?"

Chelsea smiled at him warmly. He was really a nice guy. And very cute.

"Sure, why not."

Chelsea and Kevin danced the next three dances which were two fast and one slow song. During the slow song, they made polite chat. After the song, Kevin walked her back to her seat at the head table and chatted with her some more.

After dinner, the DJ made the announcement for the bride and groom to have their first dance, as well as the wedding party. However, Sav was nowhere to be found. Chelsea saw Dara scan the room in a huff looking for her rocker husband.

She excused herself from Kevin and went up to her. "Dara, where’s Rick?"

"Well," she said impatiently. "Last I knew he went up to our suite to change from his morning to his evening suit. I don’t know whats taking so long. "

"Well, they’re calling for you guys to dance."

"I know. If he doesn’t show up soon, I may have to dance without him."

"Dance the first dance without your husband?" Chelsea thought to herself with disbelief.

More time passed and still no sign of Sav. Dara gave up and decided to dance the first dance with the vicar who married them. The rest of the wedding party danced with their partners as well.

"How ya holding up, lass?" Joe asked Chelsea as he lightly held her in his arms and they moved.

Chelsea tilted her head back to look up at Joe who greeted her with wiggling brows and a smirk.

"Fine. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no specific reason. Just asking, is all."

"You’re lying, Joe."

"You’re right, I am. What I mean is….how are you handling, you know, Sav getting married."

Chelsea turned bright pink. "No," her mind screamed. "No, Joe couldn’t possibly know that she had a thing for Sav."

"I…I don’t know what you mean? I’m…I’m happy for him, of course."

"Then why are you stammering?"

"Wh..wh…what do you mean?"

Joe let out a laugh that caused his green eyes to twinkle and his twin dimples to deepen. It infuriated Chelsea even more.

"Joe….what do you mean by that?"

"Luv, I’m a good observer of people. Especially those I’ve known for a very long time, meaning Sav. And, well, lets just say that whenever I observed him with you, I kinda got a feeling that he, you know, liked you. And….I got that feeling from you too."

Chelsea absolutely flustered. God, was it that obvious? "Joe, don’t be ridiculous. We’re friends. We’re comfortable talking to one another. You just misstook it, that’s all."

"Is that all?"

Chelsea looked at him disbelieving. "Yes, Joe….that’s all," she lied. "Anyway, if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter now. He’s a happily married man."

"Yeah, who’s MIA right now. Where the bloody hell is he?"

After the dance, Dara went in search of Sav. She found him, still in the suite, watching him and Malvin practically tear the place apart looking for the trousers to his evening suit. She joined in the search until they finally found them, hanging from the pole behind the window. Obviously, Sav was the victim of a practical joke.

Sav, fully dressed, made his way back to the reception and found that he missed the first dance with his wife. He made it up to her by dancing with her to another song. Then, Dara went and requested a song for the entire wedding party to dance to. However, each member had to switch partners.

The wedding party walked around in a circle in the middle of the dance floor to find a new partner. When Chelsea turned around she saw a partner-less Sav staring at her, holding his arms out.

Oh, God..how was she going to do this?

She gingerly stepped forward and put her right hand in his as her left arm stretched up to go around his neck. He drew her forward to where their bodies were a whisper away from touching.

The song that played was "That’s What Friends Are For". Chelsea tried hard not to give into the temptation of resting her head upon his shoulder by talking.

"So, Rick…where were you hiding?"

"Someone hid the trousers to my suit. A little wedding prank, I fancy. So, Chelsea….I see that you’ve been getting a little cozy with my new cousin Kevin."

"Well, we danced and talked, is all. He’s…he’s a nice guy. I like him."

"Seems he likes you too," Sav said with a hint of something that Chelsea couldn’t quite figure out.

"Well….." Chelsea said.

"Whats not to like," Sav said as he looked down at her and smiled.

"Better go easy turning on that charm, Mr. Married Man."

"What, I can’t give a friend a compliment? After all, like the song implies..’that’s what friends are for’."

Chelsea just looked into those beautiful blue eyes and smiled, happy to at least still have his friendship, if anything. "Right…that’s what friends are for."

Chelsea then turned her head and listened to the rest of the song, unaware that she began to sing the words.

"…keep smiling…keep shining,

Suddenly, Sav pulled away and looked down at her in amazement.

"Chelsea, luv…I didn’t know you had such a sweet voice."

Chelsea gulped in embarrassment, not realizing that she sang that loud, or at all. She was too caught up in the feel of being in his arms and the scent of his hair to realize what she was doing.

"Oh….well….I…you know, I’m just a ‘shower singer’.

"You sing brilliantly, luv. Very pretty."

"Oh, stop with the flattery, else I’ll turn from pink to red."

Sav just chuckled as they continued with the dance. Then, it was his turn to serenade her.

"well you came and opened me,

The sound of his voice singing those words almost made the skin melt off her bones. It was such a low, sultry sound that was positively beautiful. She then joined him to sing the chorus.

After the song, she looked up at him with total, heartfelt seriousness.

"Rick, I want you to know, that I am so very happy for you. You definitley look a lot more calmer and relaxed than you did the night you got engaged. I knew it was just nerves. But today, you look so, well, content, and I truly wish you and Dara nothing but happiness and peace for as long as you live."

As genuine as her wish was for his happiness, it nearly killed her to say each and every one of those words. But the look of gratitude on Sav’s face was a rightful reward.

And so was the fierce hug he gave her.

"Thank you, luv…thank you so much. Only you deserve happiness more."

Chelsea clung to him as the feel of his long lean body almost weakened her knees. His blonde, baby soft hair tickled her nose as well and caused her thoughts to reel.

"Oh, God, baby…you feel so good," her mind tormented her. "I’ll always be your friend, Rick, for as long as you want me to be. And…I’ll always, always love you and be there for you. Like the song says, ‘in good times, in bad times’. I just pray that Dara is there for you too, no matter what."

Chelsea wisely pulled away first and looked up at his face with a polite smile. "Thank you, Rick. You know the saying…’someday my prince will come’."

Sav bent down and gave her a proper peck on the lips then straightened. "Somehow I think, luv…that you’re gonna be his savior, whoever he is." He then turned around and saw Kevin looking in their direction. "And…I think a likely contender is looking over here right now."

Chelsea looked past Sav to see Kevin smiling at her. She considered Sav’s words.

"Maybe, Rick. Maybe."

4

December 31, 1993

Dalkey, Ireland

Sav and Dara hosted a small New Years Eve party at their house. Since the ‘Adrenalize’ tour had officially ended several months ago and the band just released a compilation album of B-side songs, they were enjoying a much needed break before starting to write for the next album.

Since Rick, Phil and Viv were in the States, just Joe and Karla attended along with Malvin a few close friends and soccer mates.

Since Chelsea and Kevin had been dating since the wedding, Dara invited them as well. Chelsea really liked Kevin. He was very sweet, polite and, well, just too nice. Everything about him screamed ‘perfect’ to her. However, as much as she enjoyed his companionship, she just couldn’t bring herself to take their relationship to the next level. Although Kevin was the perfect gentleman, the passionate kisses he gave her everytime they parted told her that he was ready and willing for more.

Chelsea just couldn’t. Not yet. After all, they’d only been dating a little over a month and she felt it was still too soon. Plus, she just didn’t feel that special spark – that feeling that automatically told her that he was ‘the one’. For all that she liked him, she was definitely not falling in love with him yet. She thought that a little more time would establish how she felt, if Kevin cared enough about her to wait until she was ready.

One thing that nagged her a lot was why she was still with Kevin if he didn’t ‘do it for her’. She convinced herself to give it more time and give him a chance to grow on her. However, a possible reason why bore deep within her and she fought to prove it wrong - that continuing to date Kevin, she would still have contact with Sav on a non-professional level, since Kevin and Dara were very close. It bothered her to think that that could be the reason for her staying with Kevin, for she wasn’t the type to use someone. After all, its not as if Kevin were impossible and obnoxious to be around. He just didn’t…well…make her heart go THUNK whenever he walked into a room. Unlike…..

"No, no, no," she thought to herself as Kevin rang the doorbell. A woman dressed in black pants, white shirt and a black bow tie answered the door – obviously someone who worked for the caterer hired for the evening. Chelsea immediately shook her head in wonder. How many Christmas parties her mother had thrown over the years that she had planned and cooked everything herself – and, for a lot more people than were here? Well, she guessed that since Sav had the money – why not? She then wondered if Dara even knew how to turn the oven on!

Chelsea and Kevin gave the woman their coats then scanned the room. Kevin immediately sought out Dara while Chelsea’s eyes sought out her ‘better’ half. Instead, her eyes locked with Joe’s who walked over to her.

"Evenin’, luv. Good to see you here. Things going well between you and Kevin I see."

"Well, we’re still, you know, dating, if that’s what you mean. He’s a nice guy. I like him a lot."

"But…?"

"But what?"

"I don’t know, you just don’t appear to have that dreamy, newly dating look about you."

"Oh," Chelsea said. "I had no idea that there was such a look. Mind telling me what it is."

"Well," Joe teased. "You know…it’s a look you give your man that tells everyone in the room that you’re absolutely bonkers about him."

"I would have to be in love with him for me to give him that kind of look, Joe. I’m…I’m not in love with Kevin. I mean, its only been a month. I’m just taking it one day at a time and enjoying his company along the way. Who knows how my feelings will change down the line."

"Well, I can honestly say that he fancies you a lot more than you do him."

"How do you know?"

"Well…..," Joe said, unsure whether or not to divulge this, "Kevin told Dara, Dara told Sav and Sav told me."

Chelsea looked at Joe in astonishment. "Oh my God….don’t tell me you guys are keeping tabs on our romance?"

"No, no. It just, you know, came up in casual conversation."

"Oh? I can understand Kevin telling his feelings to Dara since they’re close. However, why is Sav translating all this to you?"

Joe was a little speechless. "Um, well, you see…..well, after all, Chel, you are his friend and he, uh, does care about you. You just happened to come up in conversation which opened the door for him to tell me about you and Kevin."

Chelsea’s heart was thudding the entire time. Sav was talking about her with Joe. No…talking about her and Kevin with Joe. But still….

"Why?" she asked herself. "Why is he so concerned about my love life – or, lack thereof?"

Just then that spine tingling British accent assaulted her ears from behind.

"Joe, why is it that all the ladies gravitate towards you first?"

Chelsea took a deep breath and turned around. And her knees almost gave out.

Sav was dressed in black jeans, black boots and a dark blue, untucked buttoned shirt and a black vest. His hair was starting to grow out a bit past his shoulders in a frosted wavy mass. His blue eyes were brilliant through his glasses.

He couldn’t possibly get any more gorgeous than he was at that moment.

Joe saw the eye contact between the two of them. It had that ‘dreamy, newly dating look’. It didn’t matter that Sav was married and Chelsea was dating Kevin. Their attraction was still apparent. He chuckled to himself as he answered Sav.

"Well, mate…probably because I’m taller, sexier and a bangin’ fine better soccer player than you are!"

Sav laughed, putting his arm around Chelsea’s shoulders. "My, my, he’s getting a bit uppity, isn’t he? What do you think, Chel? Can’t do anything about the height issue – Joe is taller than me. However, who’s a sexier soccer player?"

Chelsea wanted to slither to the floor as soon as Sav slunk his arm around her shoulders and silkily asked her opinion. Although Joe was very good looking indeed, her insides never jumped whenever she saw him. Not like it did when she saw Sav. She tried to get of this as delicately as she could without making a complete fool of herself.

"C’mon, guys….you’re fishing for compliments. Whats the matter – your female fans who scream after you at concerts don’t provide you with enough proof of your, uh, sexiness? Um…not to mention…your wives! And, as far as soccer playing is concerned, you’re both, as Joe says, ‘bangin’ fine’."

"Ooooh, sounds good coming from you, luv. We’ll make a Brit out of you in no time."

Just then Dara came over with Kevin, who shook Sav and Joe’s hand.

"Kevin, mate…how are ya?" Sav asked with a slight change in his facial expression.

"Good, Sav," Kevin said as he put his arm around Chelsea.

"So what are the three of you laughing about over here?" Dara asked.

"Oh, you know Dara…mature stuff," Chelsea replied. "These two rockers are biting each other over who’s sexier – and a better soccer player."

"Oh?" came a voice from behind Joe. It was Karla who just overheard the last sentence.

"Oh, luv stop it – just harmless fun. If you can’t tease your best friend then who can you."

"Hmm, do you really think its necessary to be asking other women if you’re sexy?" Karla asked with narrowed eyes.

"Oh Karla," Dara interjected. "Chelsea’s not just any ‘other woman’. She’s like a sister to these guys, right?"

"Right," Joe added very quickly.

"Ditto," Sav responded, not as fast.

"Besides," Dara directed to Chelsea, "seeing from the way you and Kevin look together, it won’t be long before you’re ‘off the market’ as well?"

Kevin genuinely smiled with a hint of a blush, while Chelsea tried to match it, although her insides were boiling. "What in God’s name is she saying that in front of everyone for?" Chelsea asked herself.

It was obvious that Kevin felt more strongly about her than she was able to reciprocate back. And she knew the reason for her not being able to give her heart over to someone else was the blue eyed bass player standing next to her.

Even as she thought that, her eye caught his wedding ring.

"Oh, God, Chel," she scolded herself. "You’ve got to stop this. This isn’t good – not to mention that its wrong! He’s a married man, you idiot. Why are you holding out on happiness with someone who’s perfectly nice and normal? What do you think is gonna happen? They just got married. Do you really think that Dara will ever leave him? Look at him for Christ sake! Would you?"

"Yoo-hoo, Chelsea, are you with us?" Kevin whispered in her ear as he gently shook the arm that was around her shoulders.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Why?"

"Well, you looked to be in La-La Land for a moment. C’mon, luv. Lets go get something to eat. I’m starving."

"Okay," she said, reluctant to leave Sav’s company.

"Guys, we’re gonna go over and get a bite. Talk on ya a bit later."

With that, Kevin turned, taking Chelsea with him towards the dining room that was set up as a buffet area. Before she turned for good, her eyes quickly glanced to Sav who gave her a quick wink.

"Oh, Lord…get me through this night," she said to herself. "I’ve got to get over this. I’ve just got to. Kevin is really nice and sweet and I’m gonna concentrate on my feelings for him and keep them off Sav. I have to!"

Throughout the rest of the evening, leading up to midnight, Chelsea stayed true to her promise to herself and kept her focus on Kevin. He was sweet and considerate of her all evening which was starting to make her warm up to him a little more. Every now and then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sav’s tall, lean form as he made rounds to talk to his guests. Chelsea summoned her willpower not to turn and take in the full sight of him, however, just a peripheral glimmer was enough to make her flutter.

"Stop it girl!" she told herself. "You’ve been doing good so far. As soon as midnight hits, say Happy New Year to everyone, stay a wee bit longer then get your butt out of here. Outta sight, outta mind!"

Yeah, right!

"Okay, everyone..down here," Dara shouted from the entertainment room. "One minute to go!"

"C’mon, luv," Kevin said as he pulled Chelsea up from the couch by the hand and headed downstairs.

The large screen television showed the ball dropping in Times Square. Everyone had their eyes fixed upon it – waiting for the official start of 1994. Kevin stood behind Chelsea with his arms wrapped around her waist. She placed a cautious hand on his forearm in response.

In her corner vision, she saw Sav, a glass of champagne in one hand and Dara clinging to his opposite arm. She was leaning up, whispering into his ear, or maybe nibbling on his neck. Either way, Sav just stared blankly at the television.

When the ball fell and spelled out ‘1994’ in lights, everyone let out a cheer and a waitress came around with full champagne flutes on a tray to which everyone took one, or two!

Chelsea and Kevin each took sips of their champagne before Kevin put his free arm around her waist and brought her body to his.

"Happy New Year, luv," he said. "This last month with you has been so wonderful. I look forward to more of it in 1994."

Chelsea smiled at his genuineness and couldn’t help but be warmed by his words.

"Happy New Year to you too, Kevin," she replied. "I…I hope for happiness as well, too."

With that, Kevin brought her in for a long, lingering kiss. He opened his mouth to which Chelsea reluctantly followed. Why, she didn’t know. As soon as she felt his tongue, she shyly met his for a second or two, only to break the kiss.

"Kevin, lets not get carried away in front of everyone," she said. "Besides, we have to wish everyone Happy New Year as well."

"Okay," he said as he gave her a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. "Maybe we can check out after this, huh?"

"If..if you’d like," Chelsea nervously said, wondering what he had in mind.

Kevin smiled then went to go find Dara. Chelsea turned to find Joe standing there.

"Well, its about time there, lovergirl," Joe mused.

"Oh, stop it," Chelsea said as she stretched her arms up and around Joe’s neck and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Happy New Year, Joe," she said.

"Same to you luv."

"Ahem!"

Chelsea looked past Joe to see Karla standing behind him, none too pleased. Geez, it was New Years Eve, for Pete’s sake! Everyone’s kissing everyone. Chelsea let go of Joe and placed a hand on Karla’s shoulder and went to kiss her cheek.

"Happy New Year, Karla," Chelsea said as she was met with an ‘air’ kiss.

"Same here," she flatly responded.

Dara and Malvin came over and wished Chelsea, Joe and Karla Happy New Year as well. Chelsea then saw Sav with some of his soccer mates. She didn’t want to disturb him to wish him Happy New Year and decided to do so on their way out. She excused herself to go to the loo then outside for a bit of fresh air.

She grabbed another glass of champagne and downed it as she stepped out onto the deck that overlooked Killiney Bay. The view from Sav’s house was positively unbelievable. It was beautiful during the day but even more peaceful and serene at night. Living in the heart of Dublin with all the noise of the traffic and pub-goers, she lost herself in the silence. She then got a little envious. Dara was a fortunate woman indeed – not only to have Sav for a husband, but to live in this gorgeous, sprawling home. She definitely hit pay dirt marrying him.

Chelsea shook her thoughts from her head. It wasn’t like her to think so shallow and materialistic. Dara married Sav because she loved him, not because of what he had. Did she?

She remembered once when Sav told her about his humble beginnings in Sheffield and how he worked as a tech for British Rail after getting cut from the United soccer team. If Def Leppard never made it, he’d probably still be there!

If she knew him then the way she knows him now, she’d probably still love him, no matter what he was. After all, he was still ‘Rick’.

"Okay, Chel," she chided herself. "Time to step out of fantasy land and back into real life."

Feeling the champagne, she stepped back inside through the sliding glass doors and right into Sav’s big blue eyes. She almost fell back through the glass upon the unexpected and gorgeous sight of him.

"Rick…hi."

"Hi…you okay, Chel? I was looking for you."

"You were?"

"Well, I realized that you were the only one I didn’t wish Happy New Year to."

"Oh, well…just wanted to get a little air. You know, with all the smoke and all."

"Bad habit…I know, don’t lecture me" Sav nervously chuckled.

"I won’t, I promise. Rick?"

"Yes?"

"Happy New Year."

Chelsea uttered those words and felt her whole body trembled when he walked towards her.

"Happy New Year to you too, luv," Sav replied as he lifted her chin with his finger and placed a soft, but proper kiss on her lips.

He immediately pulled away to look down at Chelsea, who’s eyes were downcast, as if she was afraid to look into his. She must’ve sensed him looking for she raised her eyes. When she did, Sav bent down and took another, quick forbidden kiss. Then another, then another…..

Before they knew it, their arms were wrapped around each other as their mouths simultaneously opened to welcome each others tongues. Chelsea knew this was wrong – very, very wrong, but, bloody damn, she couldn’t have resisted if her life depended on it. His kiss was hot, yet soft and sweet and his lips expertly moved over hers as if he were making love to her mouth.

Little did she know that Sav’s mind was screaming at him to stop, that this was terribly improper now that he was a married man. However, just like Chelsea, one, two, three light touches of her lips against his was enough to inflame his lust. He had always wondered what it would be like to kiss her this way, to feel her lovely, soft body pressed up against his. Why he chose after he married to find out totally baffled him!

Their kiss turned deeper, as they were completely oblivious to the fact that, at any moment, someone, oh God, Dara, could walk in on them.

Chelsea clung to Sav as a year and a half of deep, secret feelings for him were poured out from her mouth to his. The closest she ever got to him other than this was when they harmlessly danced at his wedding. But this, this was far from harmless. This was downright dangerous!

Her willpower was useless as she filled her hands with his soft curly hair, breathing in the combined scent of his shampoo and warm male skin. Her body arched into his as his hands wandered up and down the small of her back, lightly pressing her into him.

Chelsea’s body swayed a bit and, when she did, her thigh brushed up against the bulge behind the fly of his jeans. She then heard Sav lightly groan into her mouth. She then felt his hand slide down to her round little bottom to pull her harder against him……

"Chelsea? Chelsea, luv…are you up here."

Kevin!

Chelsea tore her mouth away from Sav as they stared at each other with what was nothing but pure guilt written all over their faces. Chelsea moved back as if Sav had burned her. Well, actually he did! She put a trembling hand to her mouth and looked up at him with a mixture of arousal and shame.

"Oh…God..Rick….oh, God, what….what have I done?"

Sav was equally ashamed, embarrassed and 10 times more aroused. "Chelsea…bloody hell….I’m….oh, God I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean….this never should’ve…."

"Oh, there you are luv," Kevin said as he came upon them. "Oh, hi Rick. I was coming to see if you were still outside. You mentioned that you wanted to leave after midnight. Are you ready, luv?"

Chelsea quickly regained her composure. The last thing she wanted to give away was the fact that she was making out with a married man – especially in front of his wife’s cousin!

"Yes…yes, Kevin, I’m ready. I was just…" she turned to Rick as if confirming, "coming inside and Rick noticed that I, uh, looked a little, uh, unsteady. I think I had too much champagne."

"Well, lets stop for some coffee before I take you home. Rick, you don’t mind that we leave right away?"

"Oh, no…not at all. Party’s gonna be disbursing anyway. I think everyone had their fill of champagne tonight. Just gotta make sure that everyone has a driver that’s not too hashed."

"Right, right," Kevin agreed. "Well, c’mon luv, lets go say goodbye and I’ll get you home. Rick, thanks again. Had a smashing time."

"Thanks for coming, Kevin. You..you too Chelsea," he said shakily, trying not to give away the lust that was simmering down inside of him. "I hope you’re not unwell in the morning."

"Thanks Rick. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Again, thank you for a lovely time. And….Happy New Year again."

"Same to you, luv."

With that, Chelsea took Kevin’s extended hand and allowed him to lead her out of the room on wobbly legs. As soon as they both disappeared, Sav flattened his back against the wall, tore off his glasses and brought both hands to his face to violently rub his eyes.

"Dear God! What did I do?" Sav berated himself vehemently. "Bleedin’ Christ, I can’t believe I lost control like that. I know I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to taste and feel her but, crikey, I’m married. Dara, oh god Dara!"

"Rick?"

Oh God. Dara!

"Yeah…in here, luv."

Dara walked in to find her husband pushing himself from the wall and putting his glasses on.

"Rick, whats wrong? Why are you in here all by yourself?"

"Well," Sav said to himself, "I wasn’t really alone."

"I…I came up to go out and get some air. I..I saw Chelsea coming in from outside, then Kevin came to get her to leave. We were just saying goodbye."

Dara walked over and put a hand up to his face. "Are you sure you’re alright? You’re not drinking too much, are you?"

"No…no, I’m fine. Never better, luv," he lied as he put his arms around her and held her close, desperately trying to replace the feeling of Chelsea’s body with his wife’s.

"Mmmm, baby," Dara said as she rubbed her leg against his still-hard erection, "that didn’t take long."

If Dara only knew that she wasn’t the reason for his hard-on. Oh, God, he didn’t want to know if she knew.

Sav quickly acted to mask the true reason for his arousal. "That’s right, luv. All for you, and all the time," Sav said as he brought his head down to kiss his wife and she continued to rub up against him.

As hard as he tried, he still felt Chelsea’s body, even as her scent still lingered around him.

5

Kevin drove Chelsea home after stopping to get two cups of coffee. She sipped it slowly on the ride home, hoping the heat would melt away the memory of her New Years Eve kiss with Sav. She knew right then and there that nothing would ever pry that visual from her brain. It would be there till she died.

"Chelsea, are you sure you’re alright?" Kevin asked. "You’ve been rather quiet since we left Sav’s."

"Just…just tired, is all. Guess the champagne got to me. I didn’t eat too much so I guess it went to my head a lot quicker. I should know better."

"Well, a good night’s sleep will fix that. Unless…unless there’s anything else you want to do."

Chelsea’s nerves tighted. "What..what did you have in mind?"

"Well, um…I don’t know…its only 12:30am. I mean, if you’re tired then I’ll take you home. But…I don’t know…do…do you want to go somewhere else?"

Chelsea heard the nervousness in his voice. He was trying to suggest something other than asking himself to her place. She remembered giving him some silent signal earlier in the evening that may have led him to believe that she would ask him to spend the night.

She had already made up her mind that it was still too soon to sleep with Kevin. As nice and wonderful as he was, it just didn’t feel right, yet. However, after that kiss with Sav, not to mention thinking about it all the way home, had her body turned on full speed. Desire and lust like she never knew existed coursed through her, and the effects of the champagne only heightened it. Her body screamed to be made love to. She wanted a man. No, she needed a man.

But all she had was Kevin.

"Oh, God Chelsea," her brain screamed. "What are you possibly thinking? Don’t do it! Don’t give into your resolve to wait just because you’re hot for a married man and can’t have him. Don’t you dare use Kevin to ease the ache! That would make you the lowest form yet!"

The more she fought it, the more she wanted it. The effects of the champagne and Sav’s wicked kiss were starting to win out.

"No, Kevin..I…I really don’t want to go anywhere else. Lets just go back to my place."

"You..you want me to come in?" Kevin questioned. "You’re not too tired?"

Chelsea looked at him across the seat as he pulled up in front of her flat. "Not as tired as I thought."

Chelsea saw the reaction to her words and the look she gave in Kevin’s eyes. He was beginning to flush with anticipation.

"Okay, ...I’ll stay a bit," Kevin said, not wanting to sound over-anxious.

They approached the door and Chelsea let them in. She immediately took her coat off then moved to slide Kevins coat off of him, a move which startled and surprised him. She hung both coats up, turned on the telly and motioned for Kevin to sit next to her on the couch. She then handed Kevin the remote.

"Here, find something."

Kevin took the remote and began to flip through the channels until he came upon MTV. They were finishing up their New Years Eve show and then went into a little montage of concert clips from 1993.

She and Kevin sat there watching clips of several bands until they showed a clip of Def Leppard’s Don Valley performance from June 1993. Chelsea felt the blood drain from her face as the camera scanned the band on stage. It was the clip of their performance of ‘Rocket’ where, right after Phils writhing guitar solo, the band segued into Led Zeppelin’s ‘Whole Lotta Love’.

The camera then slowly moved to show Sav standing on the drum platform to the left of Rick Allen. He was dressed in a short-sleeved black shirt, faded jeans that were severely ripped at the knees and, from what she remembered that day, under his bum, and hightop sneakers. His hair was long and wild, his bangs hiding most of his gorgeous blue eyes. He stood there on the platform, plucking his bass, legs wide apart and head thrown back a bit as if the pounding beat had him in ecstasy.

"Man, I still can’t believe that guy’s my cousin now," Kevin said a little proudly.

"Yeah, huh?" Chelsea replied, unable to unglue her eyes from the screen.

The camera stayed on him a bit. She was totally mesmerized by the lean, sexy length of him. Her eyes fixed upon his smooth chest that was slick with sweat until they began to trail down to where his jeans were wickedly unbuttoned, exposing a sinful trail of hair that went from below his navel to…………

"Chelsea?"

Chelsea regretfully tore her eyes from the telly to see Kevin staring at her, his hazel eyes liquid with desire, his chest rising and falling rapidly. She looked at him a little quizzically, wondering what brought this on until she looked down and realized that, while she was inwardly lusting after Sav on screen, her hand began to absentmindedly caress Kevins thigh.

She immediately pulled her hand away. "Kevin, I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t…."

"No, no please don’t be sorry. Chelsea, I know you’ve been giving me signals that you want to wait, but, dammit lass, that touch! You have no idea how bad I want you."

Chelsea’s heart pounded as guilt and disgust washed through her. Oh, God, if Kevin only knew that it was the man on the television screen, the one that kissed her senseless after midnight, was the one that aroused her so much that she began to caress his thigh. She suddenly felt herself go over the edge. The kiss, seeing Sav onstage bare-chested and barely zipped, and having this man next to her saying that he wanted her broke any and all resolve for her to wait.

"Kevin!" she whispered as she unabashedly threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard and wickedly.

"Oh, yes, Chel!" Kevin murmured into her mouth as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back, running his tongue along the crevices of her mouth as his hands wildly ran over her body.

Chelsea was wound up to a fever pitch at the feel of Kevin’s hands and tongue, all the while keeping her eyes closed, imagining it was Sav. She was absolutely and completely disgusted with herself!

However, her lust was stronger than her morals at the moment and her body ached for release – immediatley!

She laid back on the couch and Kevin followed, never breaking contact. Her hands ventured down to undo his trousers, pausing to brush against his throbbing erection.

"Chelsea, no!" Kevin panted. "This….this is not how I want it. Not on the couch. I wanted our first time to be special."

Chelsea looked past him to the telly and saw Sav’s gorgeous face and body. She couldn’t wait.

"Kevin, please…I….I want it now. Please, baby..I need you. I’m…oh, God I’m so hot!"

The look on Kevin’s face told Chelsa that her pleadings made him forget all thoughts of a long, slow, leisurely first time lovemaking session in the bed. She knew he wanted her, but, right now, she needed him.

She furiously yanked off his trousers as he pushed her short skirt up to her waist, his eyeballs almost falling out at the sight of her sheer, black thigh-high stockings and matching silk panties.

"My God, Chelsea," Kevin breathlessly said, "you’re so friggin’ beautiful."

"Now, Kevin….please…now!"

Kevin slid her panties off, settled between her legs and plunged into her, just as Chelsea caught a glimpse of Sav on screen, grinding his pelvis against the back of his bass as he played it.

"Oh my God…Kevin!" she cried against the crook of his neck.

"Oh my God, Rick!" her mind shamelessly screamed.

"Dammit, lass," Kevin said hoarsly and he mindlessly thrust into her hot, slick body, "you feel so good. Oh, Chelsea I’ve wanted you so bad!"

"Chelsea, luv…," she imaged Sav whispering to her. "Do you know how bloody bad I’ve wanted to do this? To love you hard and deep? Do you, girl…do you?"

"Yes…oh, yes baby…I’ve wanted you too!"

Her words spoke to Kevin but her mind screamed out to Sav.

"Chelsea, I’m…..oh God lass…I’m gonna…!" Kevin panted as he quickened his thrusts, on the verge of his orgasm.

"Oh, luv…" Sav’s imaginary voice said to her mind, "you’re so bloody wet and tight…you’re gonna make me come…oh, God Chelsea!"

"Do it baby..do it.," Chelsea responded to her real lover and imaginary one. "I’m gonna too. Oh…my….God…YES!!!"

Chelsea threw her head back and let out a muffled scream of pleasure as an orgasm wracked her body, just as Kevin released himself inside of her.

"Oh God…oh God…Chelsea…oh God…yes!" Kevin cried out in his climax.

Kevin then fell upon her, his overworked body sated and fatigued from their fast and furious lovemaking.

Chelsea finally opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the television screen. An image of Sav walking off the stage, his hands raised in celebration, his shirt wide open to expose that glorious chest and naked torso, burned her eyes as what just transpired hit her like a brick.

6

Chelsea woke on New Years morning around 10:00am alone in her bed. After the horrible incident on the couch with Kevin earlier that morning, she had burst our crying, not being able to hide the shame of making love to one man she wasn’t ready to make love to, and making love to another in her mind that desperately wanted to.

She didn’t divulge that to Kevin, however. She masked it as well as she could. She apologized profusely for how she acted, although she knew he didn’t mind because he had wanted her so bad. She blamed the champagne for making her act like a bitch in heat instead of the sweaty, barely dressed, wild haired bass player strutting across the stage on the television screen.

She explained to Kevin that she wanted to wait longer, since they’d only been dating a month, as not to look as if she jumped into things too quickly.

And now look what she did!

Kevin was very patient and understanding of her dilemma, although he assured her that he didn’t think badly of her for giving in so soon. He had told her that he wouldn’t assume that they would continue an intimate relationship now that they had made love. He would wait until she felt sure again. Not to make her feel awkward, he had left shortly afterwards.

And now, Chelsea laid in bed, still disbelieving how low she sunk as to make love with one man while fantasizing about another. Not that it would be uncommon. She was sure that all women, at one point, fantasized about a celebrity of some sort while with their man.

And, she thought without a doubt, that there were a great deal of female Def Leppard fans that fantasized about being with Sav as well. What was one more.

Still, she had never done anything like that and felt very bad. And, the fact that Kevin was understanding about it made her deception even worse. If only he wasn’t so damn nice!

Chelsea gingerly got out of bed, wincing at the soreness between her legs. She hadn’t been with someone in a while and, well, she was out of shape down there!

She immediately took a hot shower, reveling in the feel of the water running down her body. She dried off, dried her hair naturally then threw on comfy jersey knit pants and a matching hooded, zippered top. She made herself a pot of coffee and some toast then plopped on the couch to watch the telly. It was a cold, gray day for the first of January and vegging on the couch under a blanket seemed very appealing.

Suddenly, the phone rang. She immediately knew it would be Kevin for he said he’d call in the morning to see how she was. She leaned towards the end table and picked up the portable.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Chelsea…its..its Rick."

Oh God! This she was definitely not prepared for.

"Rick…hi. H..how are you?"

There was a bit of silence before he answered. "Well, not too good, actually. Chelsea, I…oh, God, it seems I have a penchant for calling you to apologize for my stupidity. You don’t know how sorry I am about…you know, last night."

"Rick, its…its alright, really. I’m…I’m just as much to blame as you are. I guess the fact that we’ve known each other a while and are comfortable around one another, combined with the champagne got me feeling, well, a little too comfortable. I…I feel terrible, not to mention that I’d probably be six feet under if Dara walked in."

"You? I think I’d be missing a vital body part if that happened," Sav said with a slight chuckle, trying to lighten the awkwardness of their conversation.

Chelsea laughed as well, knowing exactly what Sav was doing. However, it did nothing to erase the shame of what she and Kevin did, with Sav being the reason for it.

"Well, I’m…I’m just glad that we came to our senses and ended it. No..no harm done, okay."

"R..right," Sav stammered. "I..I just felt bad, I mean, I didn’t want you thinking badly of me, you know, doing something like that while I’m married. I…I would never think of doing anything like that."

"I know you wouldn’t, Rick. At the same token, I could only imagine what you may thought of me – kissing a married man like that – especially when I was there with another man."

"Um, speaking of which…..is he there?"

Why was he asking that? "No, he isn’t. He came in for a bit after he dropped me off then he left."

"Right after I begged him to ravage me while I thought of you," her mind said.

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that I didn’t want him to suspect something with you talking to me about this. I…I know how much he fancies you, Chelsea. He’s a lovely guy."

Chelsea had to agree. "Yes, he is. I just, you know…."

"What?"

"You know, take it slow. I mean, its only been a little over a month. I…I just want to, you know…be sure."

"That’s right – now I want to take it slow after I made him shag me on my couch last night, pretending it was you," she sarcastically thought to herself.

"Of course, I don’t blame you," Sav replied. "Like I said at the wedding, Chel…you’re a very special girl and you deserve someone who’ll make you happy."

"Thank you, Rick. I’m just taking it one day at a time. We’ll see."

"Well, I gotta go. We’re going to visit Dara’s family today."

"Oh, well, have a good time. And….Happy New Year again, Rick."

"Same to you, luv."

Chelsea hung up the phone, put her face in her hands and cried.

7

January 12, 1994

Several weeks had passed since that fateful New Years Eve party and subsequent fiasco afterwards.

Chelsea got back into her post holiday routine. Work. Gym. Home.

She and Kevin were still seeing one another and have seemed to get past their little encounter. She hadn’t heard from or seen Sav since he called her New Years Day. Well, there really wasn’t any reason. He was a married man who’s wife, I’m sure, wouldn’t appreciate him calling her to chat, even though she was considered ‘a sister’, not to mention, dating her cousin. Also, since the tour ended, things had quieted down so there really wasn’t a lot of PR stuff going on for the band.

Chelsea knew that Kevin and Dara spoke but she bit her tongue in an effort to pry anything out of him. It really was time for her to get on with her life and stop trying to live a fantasy one. Her infatuation with Sav was just that. She had one brief, sizzling moment with him on New Years Eve and let the memory of that moment cause her give herself over to a man she wasn’t ready for, all for the sake of imagining it was him.

But Sav was now a married man and had his life and she had hers. And it was time to concentrate on a real happiness – not a make believe one.

Chelsea had taken the day off from work to take care of some personal errands that got pushed to the back burner over the holidays. She then came home and checked her messages. Nothing.

Well, who would call? Besides Kevin, of course, who called her everyday.

She shrugged her shoulders and got out the vacuum cleaner, furniture polish and glass cleaner and cleaned her flat top to bottom. She then took down her small Christmas tree and any other decorations, stored them in a box and put them downstairs in her little basement area.

Instead of going to the gym, she did a workout tape, took a shower then made something light for dinner. It was around 7:00pm and Kevin still hadn’t called. Not that she was waiting on pins and needles for it. She just thought it odd that it was this late and he hadn’t called yet. Oh, well…first time since they starting dating, he probably forgot.

Her busy day finally got to her and she closed her eyes. The sound of the phone ringing woke her up. She looked at the clock 11:30pm!

"What the…" she thought as she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Chelsea, its me," came Kevin’s voice. "I’m…I’m sorry if I woke you."

"Oh, no, its okay. I wound up falling asleep on the couch. How come you’re calling so late? Is everything alright?"

"Well, no…not really?"

"Whats wrong?"

"Well, actually I’ve been on the phone with Dara for the last several hours. I came home late from work to find a frantic message from her on my machine."

"Why? Whats wrong?"

"Something happened to Sav."

Chelsea’s heart stopped. "Oh God, Kevin….what happened? Is he alright?" Her voice was about as frantic as her thoughts.

"Well, its nothing fatal but…"

"But what…?" "Oh God….what!"

"Well, she had to bring him to the hospital today. Seems all of a sudden he felt this pain on the right side of his face before it went completely numb. Paralyzed."

The receiver shook in Chelsea’s hand. "What do you mean ‘paralyzed’?"

"Well, he doesn’t have any feeling there. The muscles have completely atrophied. The entire right side of his face is slack. The corner of his mouth hangs open and his right eye droops, unable to blink."

"Rick," Chelsea thought. "Oh my God,….Rick!

"Do…do the doctors know what caused it?"

"Well, first they had to rule out a stroke, which affects the entire body and motor skills. But since it was just his face, the doctors diagnosed him with Bells Palsey."

"I’ve..I’ve heard of that before, but I don’t recall exactly what it is."

"The doctors told them that its caused by a nerve in the brain that’s been damaged. The nerve controls the facial muscles. Its not fatal, but…"

"But what?"

"Its..its facially deforming."

"My God, Kevin…what…what can they do for him?"

"Well, from what Dara was able to tell me, the doctors said that it isn’t permanent, but they don’t think he’ll ever recover 100%. He’ll need to undergo cortisone steroid shots to restimulate the muscles and some other physical therapy. Most people who get Bells only get about 60 or 70% of their muscle use back"

"Oh, well…that’s…that’s good, I guess. I mean, at least its something to be optimistic about. And…at least there’s a treatment for it. You were on the phone with her for a long time, huh? How’s she doing."

"She’s flippin’ freaking out, that’s what," Kevin replied.

"Why is she freaking out?" Chelsea hotly asked. "She’s not the one suffering from it. What’s she so worried about?"

Kevin seemed taken aback by Chelsea’s sudden outburst. "Well, you gotta really know Dara to understand her."

"How much better do I have to know her than I already do? What’s her problem, Kevin?"

"Well, she’s afraid that Rick will look like that forever."

Chelsea was seething inside. "What? Are you telling me that’s what she’s worried about? She’s afraid? She’s afraid? What the hell about Rick? He’s the one going through it. He must be frightened out of his mind!"

‘I know, I know…its just…."

"Just what, Kevin? Tell me a believable reason!"

"Chelsea, don’t get so angry. Why are you acting like this?"

"Kevin…my God! The guy just got diagnosed with a devestating illness and his wife, who took him for better for worse, in sickness and in health, is worried that he may not get his looks back? She should be thankful he wasn’t diagnosed with terminal cancer. Then she’d really have something to worry about. Tell me she’s not that shallow, Kevin?"

"Well, Chelsea..in her defense, I can’t blame her for being a little concerned. I mean, c’mon, he’s in a rock band – that people pay to see in concert. Its how he makes his living. If he, you know, doesn’t recover, she thinks the band may replace him and his career will over."

Chelsea couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was Kevin actually sticking up for Dara’s selflessness?

"Kevin, first of all, the doctor said that he will recover to some degree. Second, there is no chance in hell that the band will kick him out because he’s not poster boy material any more. My God, their drummer lost an arm for Pete’s sake and they didn’t kick him to the curb! And how many countless times did they have to put aside writing and recording to ship Steve Clark off to rehab? They could’ve easily thrown up their hands and sent Steve packing with all the crap he pulled with his alcoholism. But these guys aren’t just bandmates – they’re brothers. They don’t give up on one another – and they’re not gonna give up on Rick. Just tell Dara to chill out and stop thinking of herself."

"Chelsea, why are you getting so angry? I’ve never seen you like this. "

"Because, Kevin, Rick is going through probably the worst personal trauma of his life and all his wife cares about is him losing his looks and his career – and you’re sticking up for her!"

"I’m not sticking up for her, Chelsea. I just said that I understand her concern."

"Yeah, but her concern is for all the wrong reasons."

"Look, I didn’t call to argue with you. I thought you just might want to know about Rick."

Chelsea took a long deep breath to calm herself. She let her defense of Sav get a little out of hand, but she in no way regretted it.

"Yes..yes, Kevin, I’m glad you called. I mean, after all….he is a friend, and I care about him. I can’t imagine what he could be going through right now. Please, if you talk to Dara anymore and get any updates, I’d like to know."

"I will. Anyway, tomorrow is Friday. Um, we are seeing each other, aren’t we?"

Chelsea suddenly wondered if she wanted to see someone who condoned the behavior of a selfish little twit. Then again, it wasn’t his place to judge his own cousin’s concerns, anymore than it was hers. However, she didn’t have to like how Dara was thinking.

"Yeah, we are. We’ll decide what to do when you come over. Maybe just rent a movie and get some take out."

"Well, I was kinda thinking about going to Fitzsimmons. They have live music on Friday nights. Dara wants to come with us."

Chelsea almost dropped the phone. "She what?"

"Oh, you don’t mind, do you? I..I didn’t know if you wanted to be alone or no."

"No, no that’s not what I mean, Kevin. Her husband has just been told this morning that he has a medical condition and she’s gonna leave him tomorrow night to go listen to a band at a pub?"

"Chelsea, you’re blowing this all out of proportion. She and I have been talking about going out for a while. I..I didn’t think you mind if she tagged along with us."

"Well, Kevin, under normal circumstances I wouldn’t. But..I mean…shouldn’t she stay home with Rick tomorrow? I mean, this just happened!"

"Chelsea, there’s nothing for her to do for him. Plus, she said she needs to get out to deal with the stress."

"Nothing for her to do for him?" Chelsea’s mind blurted. "How about sitting next to him, holding his hand and comforting him?"

"Fine, Kevin. Okay….I’ll see you tomorrow night."

"Okay, hon. Calm yourself down and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye."

Chelsea clicked off the phone and laid back down on the couch, digesting all that Kevin just told her. She tried to picture what Sav was doing right now or, better still, what was going through his mind. She suddenly closed her eyes and prayed.

"Oh my God…poor baby," she thought. "Please, God..please let him be alright. Please don’t let this get to him. Don’t let him give up. Please give him strength to deal with this. Please God, please. Please send him some comforting sign to let him know that I’m here and that I care.

8

Chelsea woke up the following morning on the couch after a fitful and restless night’s sleep. Sav was on her mind and heart the entire night and the fear that was probably coursing through him, even at this very moment, tore her heart out.

She got up to get ready for work, which was the last place she wanted to go. She was so doggone tired that she wanted to crawl right back into bed. But since she took yesterday off, she had to go in. Plus, it was Friday so the week was over.

Friday. She’s be going out with Kevin and Dara tonight. Chelsea immediately felt her her stomach tie in a knot. How could that woman go out and have a good time, leaving her husband at home after what he’d been told the following day?

The more she thought about it, the more she didn’t want to go out tonight. She wanted to go to Sav’s house, ring his doorbell, throw her arms around him and hug him until he felt alright about himself.

All during the day at work, Chelsea’s mind nagged her about tonight. By the time she got home, her mind was made up. She didn’t want to go out. She called Kevin and apologized, stating that she was way too tired to go out tonight due to lack of sleep the following night. Kevin understood and asked if she minded if he and Dara went out alone, which she didn’t, although she was hoping that Dara would’ve changed her mind to stay home with her husband instead.

Chelsea hung up, popped in a workout video and sweated out her frustration and anger. She showered, put on something cozy and made a little dinner. Knowing that Friday night television pretty much sucked, she decided to head out to the video store around 8:00pm.

Suddenly, all thoughts of going to the video store left her. She turned around and raced her car out of Dublin and headed into Dalkey. She cautiously approached Vico Road then turned onto Strawberry Hill. As soon as she did, she turned her headlights off and pulled over to the side of the road.

She sat in her car, staring at Sav’s massive house, the lights from the bay twinkling behind it. The inside of the house was dark with the exception of one room. Chelsea mentally tried to calculate, judging from the few times she was at his house, which room it could be. Juding from the level and the position, she figured it had to be his music room, since it was his favorte.

She just sat there for what seemed like long minutes, wanting so bad to get out and go see him. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not only would it be rude, showing up unannounced, she had a feeling deep down inside that he didn’t want anyone to see him. Although she could care less, she had to respect his feelings in the matter.

Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat as she saw him pass in front of the window. Because it was dark outside and she had her headlights off, she didn’t think he’d be able to see a car parked off to the side – especially if he didn’t have his glasses on!

She was too far away to get a good look of his face, only the outline of his upper body and his hair were apparent. She couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind. Right now, he looked so lonely in that big house all alone – and probably scared to death over his medical condition and future.

Her heart hurt for him so much that tears formed in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. God, she wanted so bad to see him – to comfort him, to hear his voice.

She then saw him move away from the window. As soon as he did, she started the car and drove back home, foregoing the video store. As soon as she walked into her flat, her mind was made up. Sav considered her a friend, so a friend she would be. Friends could call one another and inquire after each others person. He probably assumed she knew about his condition from Kevin, so she didn’t worry about looking presumptuous. All she wanted to do was show her concern and offer her support. Nothing more.

She sat on the couch, grabbed the portable phone, took a deep breath and dialed his number.

9

"’Ello?"

"R..Rick?"

"Yes?"

"Its…its Chelsea. I…I hope you don’t mind me calling you."

There was a bit of silence on the other end for a few moments before he answered.

"Chelsea," Sav said in what sounded to her like a relieved tone. Then it changed a bit. "Um…aren’t you supposed to be out with Kevin and……Dara?"

Chelsea heard the disappointment in his voice when he said his wife’s name. She also noticed that his voice sounded very different. It was kinda muffled, almost as if he was having trouble talking.

"I…I was supposed to go out but I called Kevin to cancel when I got home from work. I didn’t sleep very well last night so I was too tired after work to go out."

"Oh…why did you have trouble sleeping? Are you alright?"

"Yes, Rick. I’m fine. I….I was, well, Kevin called me late last night and told me what happ……I…Rick…I was worried about you. I hope I’m not intruding but….I wanted to know how you are."

"I’m….I’m n..not sure, Chelsea," Sav replied in a shaky voice. "I’m still waiting to wake up – thinking this is a nightmare. I…I look pretty bad. The doctor said I’ll get somewhat better, but I don’t know how much. All I can do is wait but its killing me."

"Rick…I..I, listen….um…do, do you want some company tonight……"

"NO! I mean, Chelsea, please…I appreciate your concern…really I do. Its just that….I..I can’t see anyone. Not like this."

"Rick, I don’t care…"

"I DO! I care! I don’t….listen, I’m sorry. I’m glad you called, truly I am. Its just that I’m not up to talking. I can’t move the right side of my mouth which makes me sound kinda funny when I talk. I’m sure you noticed."

In truth, Chelsea did…but she didn’t want to tell him that.

"Actually, Rick…I can make you out just fine. But..if you’re not up to it, I understand. Please, Rick..please don’t shut your friends out when you need them the most."

"I…I just can’t right now. The only one I’m comfortable with is Joe. He came to see me today. I can’t even stand to have Dara look at me, which is probably why she went out tonight. Listen….I..I really can’t talk about this right now. I…"

There was silence on his side for a few seconds until Chelsea spoke up.

"Rick…are you there?"

"Chelsea," he said with a muffled sob. "I..I have to go. I’m sorry. Goodbye."

Chelsea stared at the receiver in her hand as she listened to Sav click off. It was then that she realized that he started to cry. She brought her knees up to her chest, put her head down and wept along with him.

10

A week had passed by and, from what Kevin was able to tell Chelsea, there had been no change in Sav’s condition, even though he had began to undergo his treatments. She hadn’t made another attempt to call him, as badly as she wanted to. She decided to give him his space to do what he needed to accept this first.

On Saturday afternoon, her phone rang. It was Kevin.

"Chelsea, hi. Listen, I’m gonna be a little late coming over. Dara just called me from her car phone asking if she could come over for a while to get out of the house."

Chelsea’s insides tightened. "Why…what’s wrong now?"

"Well, Sav’s really been impossible to be around, she said. He’s bouncing back and forth between moody and depressed to stalking all over the house taking mirrors down. Its driving her a little mad."

"You know, Kevin…since you and her are quite close, maybe you can make a suggestion to her. Maybe she should call the doctor to see if there’s something they can prescribe him to ease his mood a bit until he starts to see signs of improvement. Just to help him over the hump a bit. And..maybe she should look into some kind of support group or something to help her to deal with him better so she could help him instead of running out when the heat gets too bad."

Kevin sighed heavily on the other end. "Chelsea, like I told you before, you’ve got to know Dara to understand her. She doesn’t deal with pressure or stuff like this too well. Its hard for her to be around him like this. Plus, she said the steroid shots he’s been getting have caused his face to swell a bit. She’s wondering if he’s just gonna get worse."

Chelsea snapped. "You know, Kevin, I really don’t want to hear about how ‘inconvenienced’ she is. Where’s your heart, for Pete’s sake? Can’t you even possibly imagine what Rick is going through? Would you want someone taking off on you when you need them the most?"

"Chelsea, I do feel bad for Sav. Really, I do. Its just that he’s acting really strange and Dara doesn’t know how to handle it. She just feels that maybe he’d be better off having time to himself, you know…not wanting anyone around."

"Kevin, she’s not just anyone. She’s his wife. She should be the one there for him – not Joe. I mean, c’mon, the guy has to rely on a friend because he’s afraid to see his wife cringe when she looks at him."

"Chel, its not like that at all."

"It certainly sounds like that to me. It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to cope with it along with him. She doesn’t have to be in the same room with him if he’s being difficult. Just him knowing that there’s someone in that big house, that he’s not alone, will be comforting, even if he is going through a little personal tantrum"

"Well, look, she’s on her way over. She may just need to talk, you know, get stuff off her chest. We’ve been close since we were kids. If she needs me, I’m there for her."

"And how about when her husband needs her? Where is she, Kevin?"

"Chelsea, please just try to understand. Everyone has a different compassion level. Dara has a hard time with that. You obviously don’t. You’re a wonderful, soft-hearted lass. Rick is lucky to have a friend like you who cares about him. Oh….listen, there’s my doorbell. Its Dara. Listen, luv…I’ll call you later when she’s gone. Bye."

Chelsea threw the portable down in anger. She was so mad she could scream. She then thought of what Kevin just said to her.

With determination, Chelsea stalked into her bedroom to get changed. Yes, Sav was going through something devestating, but he had to know that there were people out there who did care about them and he was not going to shut them out of his life. He got a positive prognosis from the doctor, meaning that this was not permanent. He had to accept it, then put all his energy into getting better instead of sulking around the house. End of story.

She threw on jeans and a sweater, tied her half boots on, grabbed her black leather coat and headed to Sav’s house whether he wanted company or not.

11

Chelsea pulled into Sav’s driveway on Strawberry Hill. She took a deep breath, trying hard not to lose her nerve, got out of the car and went to his front door. She rang the bell and waited.

The housekeeper, a sweet looking Irish woman in her 50’s, answered the door.

"Yes?"

"Oh..hi. Could…could you please tell Mr. Savage that Chelsea from the PR firm is here to see him?"

The housekeeper nervously turned around, looking behind her, before turning back to Chelsea. "I’m…I’m sorry miss. He didn’t tell me he was expecting anyone. I…I really don’t think it’s a good time…"

"Please…its important. I..I understand whats going on. That’s why I’m here. I know you’ve worked for him for a long time and know that he’s not like this. My company has worked for the band a while and I know that he’s not like this. I think you can agree with me that he needs a friendly face – even though he doesn’t want anyone looking at his own."

The housekeeper looked down a bit. "Yes, it has been a bit difficult being here during the day. I…..let me see. Hold on."

The housekeeper walked away as Chelsea waited. A minute later, she came back, a dejected look on her face.

"I’m sorry, miss, but he doesn’t want to see anyone."

Chelsea’s anger started to churn. "No, its not that he doesn’t want to see anyone – he doesn’t want anyone to see him. This is ridiculous! I’ve been friends with him for almost 3 years. He can’t be like this – he just can’t."

"I know, you’re right," the housekeeper said, before murmuring. "I only wish the missus felt the same way you did."

"Excuse me?"

The housekeeper brought a hand up to cover her mouth as a mortified look over her face. "Oh, Lord, I didn’t mean for you to hear that. Shouldn’t be saying things like that anyway."

"No, no its okay. I…I know the missus myself. I was one of her bridesmaids and I’m dating her cousin. Please, I really need to see him. Tell him that I’ll come by day and night until he gives in."

The housekeeper smirked at Chelsea’s relentlessness. "Do you really want me to tell him that?"

"Yes, I do. And you can tell him it is a threat!"

The housekeeper walked away again, this time coming back with a victorious look on her face.

"Follow me," the housekeeper motioned.

Chelsea was led to, as she surmised, the music room. Sav had obviously been sequestering himself in there – probably to surround himself with what he loves most – well, besides soccer!

"He’s in there. Good luck, miss!"

Chelsea smiled at the sweet, old woman who seemed to care about Sav as much as she did.

"Thank you."

Chelsea walked in and found Sav sitting at the piano, his back to her. She had never been intimidated by him because of his celebrity status and she wasn’t gonna start now. She was a woman on a mission.

"Rick?"

"That’s me."

"Sarcastic, huh?" she thought. "Well, I can give as good as him".

"I can do without the sarcasm, thank you very much."

"And I can do without people showing up on my doorstep, threatening me through my housekeeper to let them in."

"Well, it worked, didn’t it? Anyway, I didn’t think I was just ‘people’ Rick, I thought I was a friend."

"Fine. You’re here, Chelsea. You win. Tell me, what did you come for? To satisfy your curiousity?"

"Uh, I can do without the self-pity too. Christ, Rick…I thought that at least Joe would’ve knocked some sense into that head of yours."

"Oh, believe me…he’s tried. Almost got into a fist fight with him yesterday. It’s a lot easier for someone to be all jolly and positive when they’re not the ones in my shoes – or, in this case, in my face."

"Shut up! For Christ’s sake, Rick…just shut up. I’m not gonna stand here and say ‘oh, I know how you must feel’, because I don’t. But I do know that the doctor said this wasn’t permanent. And, I’m not a rocket scientist, but I do know that walking around with a permanent bad mood and ‘woe is me’ attitude is not gonna make you better. So, do yourself, and the people who care about you, a favor and put some of that energy into getting better."

Sav shot up from the piano seat and angrily stormed over to her. The suddeness of his move took her aback, but nothing prepared her for the sight of his face.

As shocked as she was by the severity of his condition, she did not show it on the outside. Instead, she kept the look on her face angry, to match his own.

"Go ahead, Chelsea," Sav struggled to speak through the left corner of his mouth. "Look at me now and say those words to me, Miss Know-It-All!"

Chelsea carefully studied the entire right side of his face which had completely fallen. She couldn’t tell about his eye because he had a patch over it behind his glasses. Everything else about him, his hair, the blue of his left eye and his tall, lean body, were the same.

It didn’t matter what his face looked like – her heart still jumped at his nearness.

But right now, she was mad as hell!

"Whats the matter, Rick? Do you think you’re the only person to walk the earth that didn’t have a personal tragedy befall you at one time or another? Don’t let your hot shot rock star status convince you that you’re different from anyone else! Get your head out the clouds and remember where you came from, Mr. Sheffield!"

Sav looked a little taken aback by her words. But Sav still couldn’t respond to them. His physical symptoms weren’t bothering him as much as the reaction he was getting from them, especially from Dara. He was almost glad she chose to get out of the house. It was lonely, but it made him less self-conscious.

However, Chelsea didn’t show any reaction to his face. All she seemd to care about was his welfare. And he still cared for her.

He still guiltily thought of their kiss on New Years Eve. There was no way that he could wipe the feel of her body and lips out of his mind. He only wished that he had the liberty to kiss her like that again. However, now…there was no way he’d touch her lovely mouth with his disgusting one.

He suddenly couldn’t stand to have her look at him anymore. He turned and walked towards a table along the far wall and leaned his hands down on it, staring out the window behind it.

"Alright, Chelsea. You got in here and said what you had to say. Now, please….go."

"Rick…please. You’ve been alone too much. You have people who care about you and who are hurt that you’re shutting them out."

"Yeah, well the one person who’s supposed to care about me the most is shutting herself out all on her own."

"Well, in Dara’s defense, your temperment probably hasn’t been making it easy for her to be around you.’

"Its not my temperment that disgusts her, Chelsea. Its…..look, I don’t want to talk anymore. Please….just…..go."

"I..I don’t want to go. Please, Rick….look at me."

"NO! I don’t want to look at you. You’ve seen quite enough."

"Rick, stop it….."

"I said go!" he shouted.

Chelsea winced at the vicious tone of his voice, but still she didn’t move.

When Sav didn’t hear her move, he looked to his right and realized that she was looking at him through the mirror on the wall next to the window he was looking out of.

When he saw her staring at his reflection from behind, he picked up a small music box off the table, a favorite of Dara’s, and smashed the mirror.

Chelsea jumped out of her skin at his violent fit of rage. She backed up to the door, turned and ran out of the house. Tears were filling her eyes and her throat felt like it was closing.

When Sav heard her start her car, he ran out of the room towards the front door. He threw it open as she pulled away.

"Chelsea!" he yelled as best he could. "Chelsea!"

But she was already out of earshot. And, judging from what he did, he wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to speak to him again.

Sav closed the front door then leaned his back against it. He slowly slithered down until he was sitting on the floor. He raised his knees, put his elbows on them, buried his face in his hands and cried.

Sav sat on the floor for a few moments until his emotions subsided. The force of her direct words earlier were starting to get to him. The first thing he wanted to do was get out of the house. Now!

The only place he felt comfortable going to was Joe’s. He grabbed his keys, wallett, cigarettes and cell phone and took off to Dublin.

12

Chelsea sped her car out of Dalkey back into Dublin, her hands shaking as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Oh, God…she had no idea Sav was that bad.

The physical part wasn’t as bad as what it was doing to him mentally and emotionally. He was an absolute wreck. In the years that she had known him, he had never shown any hint of anger of violence in his personality. It totally threw her off and scared her as well.

Something had to be done for him. Someone had to intervene, whether he liked it or not. His state of mind depended on it. However, it was gonna take more than her to do it. There was only one person who could start the ball rolling.

She picked up her cell phone and called Joe.

"Ello?"

"Joe….hi, this is Chelsea. I..I hope you don’t mind me calling."

"Chelsea? No, luv I don’t. Is something wrong?"

"Joe, I just came from seeing Rick."

"You did?"

"Joe…….." Chelsea broke off, the realization of how he acted towards her finally hitting her.

"Chelsea? Chelsea are you there?"

"Yeah, I’m here. Its just…Joe, he’s real bad. And I don’t mean his face. I don’t care about that. He…oh my God….somebody has to do something for him. I’m afraid he’ll….."

"Chelsea, where are you now?"

"I’m just heading back into Dublin now."

"Alright. Listen, since you’re too upset to talk while your’e driving, come to my house and tell me what happened, okay?"

"Uh…okay. I’ll..I’ll be there in a few."

"Okay. Don’t worry luv…we’ll get him better right quick."

"Okay. Be there soon."

Chelsea clicked off her cell phone and turned her car in the direction of Joe’s house.

Minutes later, Chelsea sat at Joe’s kitchen table with a cup of tea in her hands, trying to calm herself down before repeating her disastrous visit to Sav’s house.

"Alright, luv…tell me what happened."

"Well, I told the housekeeper that I threatened to come back night and day until he saw me. I guess he figured to let me in and get it over with. He kept his back to me the whole time until, fed up with his self-pity jibes, I kinda told him off. He finally got up and faced me. Joe, I admit I wasn’t prepared for what he looked like but…….it didn’t bother me. I didn’t see what was wrong on the outside. I saw what was eating him up in the inside."

"I know, lass…but you just can’t convince him of that," Joe said. "I wanted to toss him out the window yesterday, he flippin’ irked me so much. I’ve known him since he was 17 and I love him like a brother. I can’t stand to see him like this. And that wife of his isn’t helping any."

"Yeah, well, I told Kevin to try to convince her to be a little more patient and compassionate. "

"I heard how she wangled her way in as a third wheel with you and Kevin last Friday night. And…I also knew that you wound up staying home."

"How did you know?"

"Sav told me you called the night you, Kevin and Dara were to go out. Said that you were tired because you were up all night worrying about him."

"I was, Joe. I had a hard time sleeping. How could she abandon him to go pubbing the night after this happened?’

"I don’t know, lass. I think this may be the beginning of seeing the true Dara. I hope that its just a phase and that it’ll pass, once Sav starts getting better."

"But Joe, if that’s the case, then it means that she’s just concerned about his looks and not whats happening inside him. I can’t believe she could be so shallow! She took him ‘for better or worse’. Did she really forget her wedding vows in only 2 months? "

"Like I said, lass…I don’t know. All I care about is him. I’m thinking of getting Rick, Viv and Phil here for a little group pow-wow session."

"I think that’s a great idea. He needs his ‘band brothers’ around him. Maybe he should take some time and go to Sheffield and see his parents and brothers. I’m sure his mum is climbing the walls over him."

"Yeah, that’s a good idea too," Joe agreed. "However, I don’t think he wants to go out in public too much right now. I think maybe its best to get the guys here and get Sav over my house so I don’t have to worry about Dara complaining about a houseful."

"Maybe you can send Karla to take her out shopping for the day."

"Please! NO! Do not suggest a shopping excursion to my wife! Anyway, she doesn’t need any suggesting. She’s on auto-pilot!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, I think that’s what I’ll do. Get the guys here. Lass, are you sure you’re alright?"

"Yeah, I am now, knowing that the rest of the band will be here for him. I…I think that’s just what he needs. I’m so worried about him Joe, you have no idea."

"Yes I do," Joe replied smugly.

Chelsea rolled her eyes. "Okay, what does that mean?"

"Chelsea, look. I know I’ve said this in the past but, even though Sav’s a married man, it still doesn’t change my thinking. I know you’ve always cared about him in a manner other than friendship. As I told you before, I’m a good observer of people and I can discern looks. And, I know that Sav cared for you deeper than a friend as well. Its just that he and Dara were in too deep together. I really think that he may have fancied you for himself if he were unattached at the time."

"Joe, c’mon," Chelsea said. "Look at me! I’m not the type rock stars go for."

"No, you’re the type that Sav would go for. Someone who cares about him unconditionally – regardless of what he is."

Chelsea hung her head low as Joe’s words sunk in. She suddenly felt tears form in her eyes.

"Lass, whats the matter."

"Oh, God, Joe..you’re right. I..I can’t hide it anymore. I feel like such fool, not to mention the biggest tramp that ever walked the earth."

"For bloody Pete’s sake, why?"

"Because, Joe. Because I…I do love him. I have, secretly, for a long time. I..I just tried to cast it off as infatuation but, if it was, I wouldn’t care so much for him now…still…that he’s married. I know I’ll never have him, but God, Joe, I can’t stop loving him!"

"Chelsea, I always knew you did."

Chelsea’s tears multiplied and she began to sob uncontrollably, the love and emotion she felt for this man completely overwhelming her.

"Joe, it goes far beyond that. When I saw him today, yeah I was shocked by what the Bells did to his face. But it didn’t change how I felt for him. The truth is, Joe…..I don’t care if he looked like that for the rest of his life. I could care less if he quit the band, sold his house, his sports car – everything – gave every dime to charity, moved back to Sheffield and went to work in a factory. I’d still follow him to the ends of the earth if I had the opportunity. But I won’t, Joe. I’ll never have that chance. And he’ll never know how much I love him. Never!"

Through the open screen door off Joe’s kitchen, leading to a deck, Sav stood outside, leaning against the side of Joe’s house, listening to Chelsea pour her heart out about how he’ll never know how much she loves him.

He knew now.

13

One week later

Sav was on his way to Joe’s house to discuss some ‘band business’ as Joe put it when he called him the night before. Although Sav still wasn’t crazy about going out in public, when it came to the band, he was there. And, it was only to Joe’s house.

As Sav pulled up, Karla was just leaving, to go shopping probably. Sav acknowledged Karla briefly and quickly turned his face away when he noticed that she couldn’t even look at him.

Yeah, she was Joe’s wife, but he couldn’t stand her!

Joe’s housekeeper let him in the house and told him that they were in the garage.

Sav walked into the garage to find Joe, Phil, Rick & Viv sitting around. As soon as they saw Sav, they all stood up, one by one, and walked over to him, put their arms around him and hugged him. Sav was totally unprepared for his, not wanting the rest of the guys to see him. But he practically grew up with these guys and he knew that they didn’t give a wit what he looked like. Even Viv, who only joined the band a mere two years ago, though they all knew him for quite a while, regarded Sav with the same concern for his well-being as the rest of the guys.

"Well, this is a surprise," Sav said. "What are all you guys doing here? Haven’t we had enough of each other on the last tour?"

"Mate, I asked them to fly out here – for you," Joe said.

Sav looked to the ground with a mixture of embarrassment and warmth. "Joe, that wasn’t necessary. I’m…I’m okay – you didn’t have to pull these guys all the way from California just for me."

"These guys?" Phil said incredulously. "Just for you? "Mate, being humble is one thing, but you think too little of yourself. We’re not some blokes that Joe found on the street. We’re your mates and your brothers.. And, if past circumstances are any indication, we stick together during difficult times."

Sav stared at the floor the entire time Phil spoke. When he stopped speaking, Sav looked up and scanned the faces of each of his bandmates – each set with determination – and regarded them warily.

"Right," Sav agreed. "We stick together. But this…this is different."

"How, Sav?" Viv asked. "How is this different from anything else you guys endured before I got here?"

Emotion and turmoil raged in Sav’s gut. Not since the week before that he lashed out at Chelsea had he felt this way. And he still felt sick because of how he yelled at her, especially after he overheard her confess that she had loved him. No, still loves him. No matter what.

But how could anyone possible know how he feels at his moment? There was no way these guys could understand. They just couldn’t. Sav regarded Viv with a look of anger and fear.

"Its different, Viv, because its my face, that’s why! I know you’ve been in the business long enough to know that its not just about the music – but image too. Look at me, for Christ’s sake!"

Viv hadn’t been with the band long enough to think of an appropriate comeback.

Rick Allen, however, was.

He stormed over to Sav and, as he did, grabbed the hem of his shirt with his right hand and yanked it over his head. He then shoved his mangled left shoulder in his face.

"Look at this, Sav," Rick challenged him. "I know you’ve seen it before but take a good look again. I had my friggin’ arm ripped from my body – and I’m a drummer. Whereas you only lost a little muscle tone in your face – but, you still have both arms to play the guitar. I could’ve given up after this happened, Sav. But, what did I do… just six weeks after my accident? I was back in the studio trying to play the drums with one arm. I thought I was gonna pass out, but I did it. And I found a way to do it. And, I didn’t let what anyone else thought stop me – even at the Monsters of Rock show back in 1986 when Ozzy Osbourne called us a ‘freak show’ because of me.

Rick then clumsily put his shirt back on. "Sav, if you want to sling around self pity, fine – just don’t you dare do it around me!"

Rick watched Sav wearily sit down on the couch and cradle his head in his hands. He then walked back to the other guys who patted him on the back for his emotional efforts to shake Sav up. They all then turned to Sav to wait for it to sink in and get some kind of response from him. After a few moments, Sav lifted his head. Tears were in his eyes.

"What am I gonna do?" Sav’s voice was a harsh whisper.

The other 4 Leps regarded their distraught bass player with compassion. They had no idea what he was going through inside, but, whatever it was, they’d handle it and conquer it. Joe, being the closest to Sav, walked over, sat beside him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Mate, you’re gonna do exactly what the doctor said. You’re gonna continue with your steroid shots, take your B-12 vitamins and start speech therapy. That’s the only way you’re gonna get better – not by moping around your house."

"You know Sav," Viv interjected, "there really is a bright side to this."

Sav looked to Viv with questioning eyes. "Oh?"

"Well, if this had to happen, it couldn’t have picked a better time – I mean, after the tour ended. If it happened during the tour, well, it wouldn’t have affected your playing, but probably your singing. And, I’m sure it would’ve made you self-conscious as well. Plus, we haven’t even begun to start writing for the next album yet. Sav, by the time we do, get the album recorded and start another tour you’ll be fine. Just be thankful that you have this time to get better."

The logic behind Viv’s words hit home. The possiblity of contracting this during the tour would’ve been even more devestating. He was very fortunate that this happened three months after it ended. And, with their B-side album just released, the band had decided to take a much deserved rest before starting to write for their new album.

Viv was right – by the time that comes around, Sav hoped to be good as new, well, at least better.

Sav looked at Viv. "You’re right, Viv. And…I’m sorry I snapped at you. I seem to be doing that to a lot of people I care about lately."

Sav’s mind instantly remembered his visit from Chelsea and how he screamed at her to leave after smashing a mirror. He couldn’t begin to imagine how much he probably scared her, yet she still admitted to Joe that she loved him. One of the first things he had to do after this was find her and, again, apologize for his pathetic behavior.

"That’s why we’re here, mate," Phil said. "Because we care about you. Unfortunatley, we’re not going to be able to stay too long…you know, the wives got us making up for lost time. But, we’ll be here the week. Maybe we can get a soccer game together. I know it’s a mite chilly out but when did that keep us from playing?"

"Really?" Sav said. "You guys are here all week?"

"Of course," Joe said. "Just like the song they played at your wedding, ‘that’s what friends are for’, right?"

Sav’s face lit up a bit at the reminder of the song that he and Chelsea danced to – at his wedding. Dara. Regardless of what he felt for Chelsea, or her secret love for him, he was still a married man. He wanted a friendship with her but how was he going to manage it knowing how he felt about her?

Sav decided to wait on that and concentrate now on Phil’s suggestion. He then smiled a beautiful, crooked smile. He couldn’t pass up two of his favorite things combined – the band and soccer. He suddenly felt the best he did since January 12^th.

However, he’d feel much better once he apologized to Chelsea. And, of course, getting a little more compassion and support from his wife.

"That," Sav replied, "sounds like a bloody brilliant plan! Lets do it!"

Sav stood up and walked over to his bandmates. They all embraced each other, confident that everything was gonna turn out okay.

14

Two weeks later

Chelsea poured all her energy and frustration into work. There were a few other bands that her firm was representing and things were getting busy for them. She often worked late and poured herself through the door every night, barely having enough steam to make dinner for herself.

She hadn’t seen Kevin that often in the last few weeks, although he called just about every night. She found out through Kevin that the rest of the band had shown up at Joe’s request and finally got through to Sav. Seems Dara has decided to commiserate with her cousin while her husband enjoyed a nice week of soccer and what-not with his bandmates. Chelsea couldn’t understand why Dara was so bitter about her husband doing whatever it took to feel better about himself. She obviously wasn’t helping any so Sav had no choice but to rely on his friends.

Chelsea still hadn’t any contact with Sav since that fateful visit. Now that his bandmates were here and, hopefully, got him on the positive road, she decided not to impose herself on him. She went to his house, said what she had to say and was told to leave. She knew that Sav was acting upon his emotions at the time, for he didn’t have a violent bone in his body. Still, though, the fact that his illness brought out a side of him that never existed scared her a bit.

She just decided to hang back and get verbal updates from Kevin on his well-being. However, her relationship with Kevin was starting to become a concern. Not that things weren’t going well, its just that she noticed that Kevin was getting a little impatient. Although he agreed to give her time since she made the terrible mistake of having sex with him on New Years eve, its been almost a month since then. Although he handn’t pressured her, she wasn’t sure how long he was gonna expect her to hold out – especially since he had a taste of what she was like that night. If Kevin only knew that her out of control, wanton actions was due to Sav!

Part of her was beginning to wonder if her staying with Kevin was due to the fact that it was her information lifeline to Sav and Dara. She instantly got disgusted with herself for thinking that. She had never been the type to use anyone. She was still with Kevin because he was a nice guy – end of story! She just wasn’t sure what to do when it came time to take their relationship ‘to the next level’. She decided to cross that bridge when she came to it.

Later that night, nearly passed out on the couch from a mix of exhaustion and a long hot bath she took to soak her aching back, her doorbell rang. She immediately thought it was Kevin for she never had much company, especially this late at night and unexpected.

She got up off the couch, adjusted her black jersey pants and matching top and, expecting to see Kevin, opened the door with a warm smile.

Thank God she was holding onto the doorknob, else her knees would’ve buckled at the unexpected sight of Sav. Her sleepy eyes trailed him from his Reebok hightops, to his faded jeans, to his untucked white buttoned shirt covered by a black leather jacket to his beautiful blue eyes behind his glasses. Anything that may have been wrong with his face she didn’t notice. She was too busy trying to calm her racing heart over how someone so disconcerting about his appearance could look so damn delicious.

"Evenin’, Chelsea. I, uh, hope you don’t mind me stopping over unannounced, not to mention this late."

Chelsea smiled a bit "Well, after the way I muscled myself into your house three weeks ago, I guess this is payback. C..c’mon in."

"Thanks."

Sav cautiously stepped into her flat – the first time he’d ever been there – and looked around. "Hey, this is a lovely place. Very warm and cozy."

"Yeah, I like it. Its just enough for me."

They regarded each other with a little awkwardness before Sav spoke up first.

"Chelsea, I…the reason I came over like this was because I was afraid that, if I called you, you wouldn’t want to see me – let alone talk to me – after the way I treated you. I came to apologize, as usual."

"Rick…I…"

"No. No, please don’t say you understand. There wasn’t a justifiable reason for me to do what I did. I..I didn’t mean to scare you either. I tried calling after you but you didn’t hear me. Chelsea, I feel so bad, not to mention ashamed of the way I’ve been acting. This hasn’t been an easy time for me. But, the guys showed up last week to basically quote a passage from the ‘Def Leppard Guidebook to Handling Trauma and Tragedy’. I know I’ve been an absolute wanker since this happened. Its one thing to get down on myself, but I never meant to hurt those around me."

He then turned to her and took her hands. "Chelsea, can you forgive me, luv?"

Like she had a choice?

"Rick…..of course I forgive you. I know that wasn’t you that day. Like I said, I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through but I’m positive its not easy. Your emotions just got the best of you and sometimes we wind up lashing out at….."

"…the ones we care about?" Sav finished for her.

"I…I guess," Chelsea stammered. He admitted that he cared about her. That, combined with the fact that he thought enough of her feelings to come here and apologize in person, warmed her. However, she knew she couldn’t look any further past that.

"Well, that’s what I’m here for. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Anyway, the guys really shook me up and got me to see reason. The one thing I got going for me is the fact that we’re in between albums so I’ll have time to get better before the next tour comes around. I’m just gonna keep up with my treatments and start speech therapy soon."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Since I can’t move the right side of my mouth too well, its kinda hard to talk. I’ve basically got to retrain the muscles."

"Well, anything to get better, right?"

"Right."

They stood there for a few moments in awkward silence, looking for something else to say.

"So, how are things with you and Kevin?"

Chelsea took a deep sigh which caused a wary look on Sav’s face. "Oh, you know, same ‘ol, same ‘ol. Doesn’t Dara keep you up to date on our budding romance?"

"Well, I think she’s been spending more time with him that you have, to tell the truth. Does that bother you?"

"No, not really," Chelsea said truthfully. "I mean, I know they’ve been as close as siblings since they were kids. I guess Kevin’s helping her deal with this the way the band’s helping you. I don’t mind – I mean, whatever it takes for you guys to cope with this I’m whole-heartedly for. Do…do you mind, Rick?"

Sav sighed as well, although his was a little heavier. "Well, yes and no. I mean, she’s my wife and, if anyone, she should be the one there for me. However, I still feel a little self-conscious so I’m a little more at ease when I’m alone."

"Rick, you shouldn’t have to feel that way around her. She’s your wife, who took you for better or worse, in sickness and in health. How you look shouldn’t diminish her love and support for you."

"Yeah, you’re right. Its just that Dara only knew me looking one way, you know….."

Sav looked down and blushed a bit. For as gorgeous as he was, he was never one to be self-absorbed with his appearance. Well, maybe except for his hair! Being in the rock ‘n roll business put an emphasis on their looks, and all 5 Leps were great looking guys. She could see that Sav was not only worried about what his wife thought about the change in his looks, but his fans who never knew Rick Savage to be anything but pin-up, coverboy perfect.

"Rick, have you changed inside? Did this condition make you a different person other than the one she dated and married?"

Sav shook his head back and forth and he continued to stare at the floor. "No, I’m still the same. Maybe not the chipper lad I usually am, but basically the same."

"Then that’s all that matters. And… you will get better. I guess people just handle crisis’ a little different than others. Although I have a hard time understanding Dara’s way of handling this, I..I don’t want to judge her either. Like I said, whatever it takes to come to terms with this is the most important thing."

"Yeah, your’e right," Sav said, unconvincingly. "However, I wish some of those ways included staying home a little more often. I know Dara likes to go out and I have no problem with her spending time with Kevin since I really don’t want to be seen in public, but I…I just wish she’d just cuddle next to me on the couch, hold my hand and watch television with me. You know, mindless stuff…but near each other, ya know?"

"Yes baby, I do," Chelsea thought. "More than you could possibly know."

"I…I understand."

"Well, anyway, its late and I better get going."

Chelsea didn’t want him to leave but knew it was the only option she had. "Yeah, unlike some people, I have a job to go to tomorrow!"

"Oooooh, is that a jibe, you feisty lass?"

"I’m only kidding, you know that. After the tour you guys just ended, you deserve a nice looooong rest. Hey, why don’t you and Dara take off somewhere, you know, some private tropical paradise? Maybe that’ll help reconnect the two of you in light of all this."

Sav looked at her quizzically at her suggestion. Yes, he discovered that she had loved him but knew that he was married and had to work on his marriage in the wake of this personal trauma. He admired her strength in this, however the more he found himself around her, someone who gave him more comfort, compassion and encouragement than his own wife, he began to see his own strength dissolve.

He was finding himself drawn to her even more, especially since that delicious New Years Eve kiss and finding out that she loves him. But Sav knew that feeling the way he did was wrong and, combined with the lonliness and lack of affection he’d been experiencing, he knew that the more he stayed in her apartment, alone with her, would be dangerous. Very, very dangerous.

"I don’t know about that, Chelsea. I really don’t want to go anywhere right now. Maybe when I start seeing some signs of improvement I’ll go to Sheffield to visit my family. But, right now, I think I’ll just stay put."

Chelsea just nodded and Sav turned and walked towards the door. Before he opened it, Chelsea called his name.

"Rick?"

Sav turned to his right in time to see Chelsea place her hand on his right shoulder and place a tender kiss on his right cheek, achingly close to the corner of his mouth.

Although the feel of her lips on his skin was electric, Sav pulled away a bit which startled Chelsea.

"I’m….I’m sorry," she apologized. "I shouldn’t have…"

"No, its not that. Its just..you know, this side of my face. I’m self-conscious enough about being looked at. I can’t imagine being kissed….."

At that moment, Chelsea didn’t care about right and wrong. All she cared was about making Sav feel good about himself. To her, he was still a gorgeous, sexy man, regardless of what he, or his wife, thought.

She reached her right hand up and placed it gently on the back of his neck, brought his head down and kissed him again in the same spot, fighting every urge not to kiss him fully on the lips. When she pulled back, Sav regarded her with a look that made her want to break down and cry.

"Well, imagine it, Rick. You need to feel good about yourself. I don’t have a problem with how you look."

"Yeah," Sav thought. "I remember you telling Joe that you could care less if I looked like this for the rest of my life and gave up my career to go back to factory work in Sheffield."

Sav reached up and took her hand that was behind his neck, brought it forward and placed an awkward kiss on her knuckles. The feeling sent a bolt of electricity up Chelsea’s arm.

"Thank you, luv…thank you."

With that, Sav dropped her hand and left before he gave into temptations that shouldn’t be there.

Chelsea closed the door, leaned her back up against it and held the hand that he kissed up to her face.

"Oh, God, baby," she silently murmured, "you seem so alone. You don’t deserve this neglect by your wife. Oh, if only….."

If only what? Chelsea knew there was nothing she could do, besides support him and be his friend – that it! As she tried to convince herself the day Sav and Dara got engaged, all she cared about what his happiness.

And tonight, he looked like the unhappiest man on earth.

"Please, God," she prayed. "Please don’t let him get hurt over this. Please make that wife of his come to her senses. Please!"

Although her mind prayed for Dara to wake up and be there for Sav, the more her heart wished she were the one instead.

15

Three Months Later

March, 1994

Sav’s patience was starting to pay off as he began to see some improvement in his condition. Even though he still had some facial swelling from the shots, he was now able to close his right eye fully, no longer needing a patch. He was also able to speak a little better, with help from his speech therapy. He almost laughed out loud in the therapists office when he handed Sav a book of tongue twisters to recite. However, as Sav sat alone one night reciting them, feeling absolutely ridiculous, he realized why they were prescribed. They were extremely difficult to say and forced him to use the muscles that had gone lax a little harder.

Things were still a little tense between him and Dara, although they were civil and respectful to one another. She still expressed wariness about his progress, though. Although Sav felt and saw an improvement over the last three months, Dara failed to. But, she had been making attempts to be a little more supportive, probably due to the pep talks Kevin was giving her, courtesy of Chelsea.

Chelsea. He really hadn’t seen much of her since he apologized to her in early February. She had only called twice to ask how he was and that was it. Other than that, Sav probably figured that she kept up on his progress through Kevin. But still, Sav would rather she find out from him. But he knew that, because of her feelings, she was fighting them by keeping her distance and trying to get on with her life – one with Kevin.

However, knowing how she felt about him haunted him since the day he overheard it outside Joe’s house.

A few weeks later, Kevin came by to pick up Dara for a night out with a few of their other cousins. Sav met him at the door and shook his hand.

"Aye, Sav….how ya feeling, there?"

"Better, thanks. Although I have a ways to go."

"Good, good, I’m glad. Dara’s been keeping me updated. Chelsea’s been asking about you too so I just relay it to her."

Sav just had to. "So, how are things with you two?"

Kevin had a very unsure look on his face which Sav noticed instantly.

"Well," Kevin said quietly, seeing that Dara wasn’t down yet. "I’m totally confused by her, Sav."

Sav was intrigued. "Oh?"

"Yeah, well…..oh, God this is kinda personal but, hey…we’re both guys, right?"

"Last I checked," Sav said amusingly, dying to know what was going on.

"Well, ever since I met her at your wedding, I was totally captivated by her. Actually, she caught my eye at the party here before the tour back in 1992. Man, when I walked in and saw her in that burgendy dress……"

Sav’s mind wandered back to that night he drowned himself in champagne, before and after proposing to Dara, and almost knocked Chelsea to the ground in his stupor. However, he wasn’t too hashed to remember how incredibly sexy Chelsea looked in that dress.

"….anyway," Kevin continued, "when we started dating after the wedding, I knew she wanted to take it slow…you know, not jump into a, uh, physical relationship to quickly. And she was pretty steadfast about it right up until New Years Eve."

Sav’s insides jerked. "What happened New Years Eve?"

"Well, after we left your party, I took her home and she asked if I wanted to come in for a while. I didn’t think anything was gonna happen because I knew how she felt, but…"

"But what?" Sav was practically on edge.

"Well, we were sitting on the couch next to one another watching the telly when, all of a sudden, she started absentmindedly caressing my thigh. Started to drive me nuts. I..I couldn’t take it. She realized what she was doing and quickly took her hand away. It was almost as if she were in a trance. To make a long story short, one thing led to another and she practically begged me to take her on the couch. I mean, I know she had some champagne and all but she wasn’t drunk. I kept asking her if she was sure, not wanting to do anything she wasn’t ready for, but she just kept begging me. Sav…I couldn’t say no. Man, she was so wild and hot that I was out of my mind."

Sav’s heart raced and his breathing was rapid imagining Chelsea, laying nude on the couch, begging to be made love to. The vision also caused a very painful erection as well.

Sav shifted to a more comfortable positon on the couch without looking noticable. "So…what happened after that?"

"She started to cry, apologizing for her behavior and blaming it on the champagne. She said that she didn’t want me thinking badly of her for acting that way so soon. I told her that I understood and that I would wait until she felt comfortable again. I left shortly after. Ever since that night, we still haven’t…you know."

Sav remembered Chelsea telling him that she wanted to take it slow with Kevin. So why on earth did she give in and make love with him on New Years Eve and then put him on hold for almost 3 months?

"Kevin, are you sure she didn’t give you any indication during the night, you know, before she had some champagne, that she wanted to?"

"No, none at all. I mean, she did mention about going back to her place after the party, but, like I said, I didn’t expect anything because I knew how she felt. I thought it was just to watch a bit of the telly. We were just sitting there on the couch and…oh, yeah, we just happened to flip to MTV just as they started showing clips of the Don Valley show. We were both watching that when it started to happen."

Sav was never one to haughtily assume anything, but he wondered if Chelsea watching shots of him from the Don Valley show, combined with their wicked hot kiss earlier in the evening, caused her to get in the mood. The evidence of the change in her behavior and decision was just too obvious.

And, the thought of her making love to another man while watching him onscreen, hardened him to the point of pain.

"Sav, are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"You look like you were wandering a bit."

"Oh, sorry, no, I’m listening. So, uh, where do things stand with you guys now?"

"Well, last week I decided to bring it up. We really haven’t been spending a lot of alone time together only to cut down on the temptation for me. We either go out with other people or I’ve been going out with Dara. Her hours at work and mine have been a bit crazy, so our relationship is really a date every now and then and talking on the phone. But, I mean, I really do like her – a lot. She’s a wonderful, beautiful, bright woman. But I don’t know how much longer she wants to hold out. I’m really attracted to her and want her in that capacity. However, if she doesn’t feel the same way about me, then I want to know. She told me that she liked me very much and wanted to continue to see me, but still isn’t ready to get intimate. Sav, I’m totally confused. How could she have wanted it so bad three months ago that she couldn’t even wait to get to the bed to not wanting it at all? I.. don’t think there’s anyone else."

Sav secretly wondered, because of the kiss, the concert clips and the fact that she loves him, if he was the ‘someone else’.

However, as much as the thought of that humbled him, he didn’t want Chelsea to throw away a chance at a future with a nice guy like Kevin in order to hold on to something inside that she couldn’t have.

Even as he secretly wished deep down inside that he knew how she felt – before he met Dara.

But there was nothing he could do. He married Dara because he did love her and wanted to settle down. He now had to concentrate on making his marriage work just as Chelsea had to concentrate on a happiness for her future.

"Kevin, I don’t know what to say. Talk to her a little more to find out exactly what kind of relationship she expects. I don’t know exactly how strongly you feel about her, but if you feel she’s worth waiting for….."

"I do, Sav. I really do. I…think I love her. I know we haven’t spent much time together since I’ve been hanging with Dara a bit but, man, she’s the type of woman I’d want for a wife."

Sav felt his insides fall, even though he knew that Kevin was a lovely guy and would be perfect for Chelsea. Anything for her happiness……

"Well, I think that you should spend a little more private time with her. Maybe her feelings for you began to wane because you haven’t seen much of each other. And talk to her to find out what she expects. She’s a great girl, Kevin. You’d be a fortunate man to have her for a wife."

"I’m here, I’m here," Dara panted and she ran down the stairs. "Oh, Kev, have you been waiting long?"

"No, not too long. Just chatting with your husband."

"About?"

"You know, guy stuff. Mainly my predicament with Chelsea."

"I don’t know whats going through that girls mind," Dara said. "Kevin, I told you, if she keeps leading you on a merry chase, then break it off and find someone who won't waste your time."

Sav shook his head at his wife’s insensitive words.

"Dara, I don’t want to talk about my relationship with Chelsea tonight. I plan on talking to her and finding out where I stand. Until then, lets go. The other cousins are waiting."

"Fine, whatever. Its your life. I just don’t want to see you hanging onto someone who’s only gonna yank your chain. Anyway, lets go. Bye hon."

Dara walked right past Sav without so much as a kiss goodbye. Kevin turned to Sav, shook his hand and thanked him for their talk.

As the door closed behind them, Sav sat back on the couch. He couldn’t get the vision of Chelsea writhing in passion on her couch.

While thinking of him!

"Bloody hell, Savage," he scolded himself. "You don’t know that for sure. You shouldn’t think too highly of yourself – especially now!"

He then thought of Kevin professing his possible love for Chelsea. He couldn’t blame him, she was everything he said she was. Sav knew that if Kevin ever decided to propose, that he’d be making the right choice.

And, for the first time since his wedding day, Sav wondered if he made the wrong one.

16

Two Weeks Later

Beginning of April, 1994

"Chelsea, I want to talk about us."

Chelsea sat across from Kevin at dinner Saturday night, dreading the question that she thought she successfully dodged a few weeks ago.

"What do you want to talk about, Kevin?"

"Chelsea, look. I..I’ve respected your decision to, you know, wait, especially after what happened on New Years Eve. And I know you’ve been patient with me regarding Dara leaning on me during this thing with Sav. But, he’s improving and she’s starting to feel better."

"How wonderful for her," Chelsea sarcastically replied.

Kevin sighed heavily. "Chelsea….." he began to scold.

"I’m sorry, Kevin. Its just that….she’s so damn superficial. I know she’s your cousin and I’m sorry, but, what happens if Rick has a relapse or something? Is she gonna go back to sulking about his looks again?"

"Cheslea, I don’t know. Look, I’m not here to talk about them, I want to talk about us. You know that I wouldn’t pressure you into doing anything you’re not ready for…"

"….then don’t," Chelsea curtly cut him off.

"What wrong, lass? Why are you acting like this? God, I know that we haven’t been much of a couple these last few months…"

"Kevin, we’ve never been much of a couple. We were dating, period. With the exception of my stupid mistake on New Years Eve, I…I don’t know if I wanted our relationship to go further than that."

"So, am I understanding that you just want to be friends, is that it?"

Kevin didn’t sound none too pleased. Chelsea didn’t mean to be so sarcastic or snippy tonight, but she had been in a bad mood lately. It was almost as if she were mad at Sav for trying to make a go of his marriage since Dara’s eased up a bit. She felt like dirt for thinking that. But, the truth was, she missed seeing him and hearing his voice. She didn’t like just getting updates from Kevin about them. She wanted to be a closer part of his life, but knew that it was impossible. And instead of accepting that, she’s snapping at a perfectly nice guy who could be everything that she’s looking for.

Except that he’s not Sav.

"Kevin, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be snippy. I’m just not in the best of moods today. Listen, I do like you, very much. I enjoy seeing you and hearing from you. I..I don’t know, I just don’t feel that spark yet that tells me that I want to take our relationship to an intimate level."

"Chelsea, I don’t understand. Not to bring it up, but you felt something New Years Eve. I know you said it was the champagne, but you weren’t drunk. You didn’t even appear tipsy. Its just that, after that night, after I discovered what a passionate woman you are, you don’t know how crazy I’ve been with wanting you. And not just for sex, I want to be with you because I really care for you and the woman that you are. But if that’s not the way you feel about me then…..Chelsea..uh, is there someone else."

Chelsea looked at him mortified. Could he possibly know? No way! Oh, God, if he did? Dara would hunt her down and flay her!

"No, Kevin…there isn’t anyone else."

"Is…is it me?"

"No, Kevin, it isn’t you. You’re a perfectly wonderful nice guy."

"Oh, those words are like the kiss of death," he groaned.

"Kevin, look. If you want to continue to see me, then I’d like that very much. However, if I can’t, you know, give you what you want in terms of intimacy, then I’ll understand if you want to see other people along with me."

"Chelsea, I don’t want to date around. I’ve had it with that. I want someone stable. I believe that I’ve found it in you. But Chel, you’re a damn beautiful woman and I want to make love to you again so badly that its killing me. Please, luv…if I’m doing something wrong or if I’ve done something to offend you, please tell me."

Chelsea felt like an absolute low life. Here was a perfect speciman of a man right in front of her face. He was good looking, employed, nice, normal and seemed to practically adore her. Why was she doing this to herself? What was she holding out for? From what Kevin told her, Sav and Dara were starting to rekindle what fizzled out a bit during the beginning of his illness. Its high time that she walked out of Fantasy Land, closed the door behind her, lock it and throw away the key. Sav had his life and it was with Dara. She had hers and a perfect opportunity for a future was sitting across from her.

"Kevin, nothing is wrong with you. Absolutely nothing. The truth is, well, there was somebody else. Long before I met you. He never knew how I felt about him and then it was too late. He’s now married to someone else. I guess, my heart just never recovered, is all. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner instead of dragging you around like this. I guess I was afraid that you would’ve thought me silly for carrying a torch for someone who didn’t even know I did."

"No, luv…not at all. I understand what you mean. I had a relationship with someone a while ago and it hurt when it ended.’

"What happened? I mean, if you want to tell me."

"Well, my job transferred me to the States a few years ago. I met a woman there. We really fell hard for one another but then I got transferred back and it had to end. I don’t like long distance relationships. I prefer ones that will work and will be stable."

Chelsea knew how rare it was for a man to crave someone he can have a stable relationship with. And here was one right in front of her. Maybe meeting Kevin at Sav’s wedding was God’s way of telling her that it was time to stop day-dreaming about a rock star that she’d been secretly in love with and get back to reality with someone who’s available.

Perhaps now that they can spend more time together, since Dara got over her little shallow snit, that she and Kevin can work on their relationship to get to a point where she could feel that special spark. She had to make a decision.

"Kevin, I really would like to work at our relationship. Now that things are kinda smoothed over between Dara and Rick, I’d like for us to spend more time together and bring myself to that point of intimacy again."

Kevin smiled a warm, relieved smile. "I’m glad to hear that, Chels. I promise, luv…you won’t regret it. I’ll make you very happy. Again, I thank you for your patience while I lent my support to Dara. But I think things are gonna turn out okay with them. She even told me that she wants to talk to Sav about trying for a baby."

Chelsea’s heart stuck in her throat. A baby. A little little boy or girl with Sav’s huge blue eyes and curly hair and…..Dara’s feautures. She smiled to herself, thinking that fatherhood would suit Sav perfectly, especially now. He had the compassion and the tenderness for it. So far, Phil was the only one with a child. It was time to extend the Leppard family.

"That’s…that’s wonderful, Kevin. Not that I believe that having a baby solves problems in a marriage, but I think that, especially in light of what happened to Rick and the fact that they’re in between albums, the timing would be perfect."

"That’s what Dara said. I’m sure everything will go well with them. And…..I know everything will go well with us."

Kevin took her hand while he said that last sentence. She looked at him and knew that she’d probably never find another sweet normal guy like Kevin. Yes, it was high time to go on with her life – the one that exists in real life.

"I…I’m looking forward to trying, Kevin."

17

Two Weeks Later

April, 1994

"Rick, I want us to talk about something."

Sav looked up from a cup of tea that he was in the process of making to turn around to see Dara standing behind him in the kitchen.

"Sure, luv. What’s on your mind?"

"Well, I know things have been tense between us since you got sick. I’m…I’m sorry for acting the way I did. I’m just glad you’re getting better."

Sav gave her a faint smile, appreciating her apology, however, he knew the only reason she had warmed up to him recently was because his face was showing positive signs of improvement. Nowhere near what he looked like before, but not as hideous as when it first happened.

"Anyway," Dara continued, "I’d..I’d like to talk about starting a family."

Sav’s eyes lit up a bit before a sudden realization caused it to fizzle.

"I know we’ve only been married 6 months but we’ve been together for almost 3 years. You’re gonna be 34 and I’m not that much farther behind. I think now’s a good time, especially with the haitus between albums and such."

Sav regretfully looked at his wife. "Luv, as much as I want that too, we just can’t right now."

Dara’s eyes narrowed at being denied. "Why?" she spat, with a tone that unnerved Sav down to the core.

"Because the doctor still has me on moderate steroid shots, that’s why. He told me that I shouldn’t make any attempts to father children because of the presence of the steroid in my blood."

Dara’s furious eyes rolled as her mouth dropped open. "And…when were you planning on telling me this, Rick?"

Sav took a deep breath, knowing that this little storm was going to ruin the calm of the last several weeks.

"I didn’t plan on telling you at all, Dara. Not because I wanted to keep it from you, but because there didn’t’ seem to be a reason. We weren’t even married two months when this happened. I didn’t think that we’d be talking about having children so soon. And, also…with the distance between us since this happened, even talking about having children didn’t seem like a viable thing. Not to mention the fact that we’ve rarely slept together since this happened."

"Well, I just thought of your comfort, that’s all," Dara tried to convince him.

"Dara, half my face got paralyzed – I wasn’t in a bodycast! You should’ve asked instead of assumed. Something devestating happened to me and the last thing I needed was to have my wife so disgusted that she had to sleep in a spare bedroom."

"Rick, that’s not it…"

"Yes it is, Dara! The last few weeks you’ve been a lot warmer to me, only because there’s been a noticible improvement in my looks. I’m not an idiot."

"Rick, I said I was sorry for how I acted. Okay, so maybe I did shy away a bit. I was scared."

"You were scared? How the bloody hell did you think I felt, Dara?"

Sav caught himself and calmed down before he really ripped into her to let her know what he thought of her neglect of him. The only thing that held him back was the fact that she did admit to her actions and did apologize. How sincere it was, he had no idea.

"Dara, look. Lets just start anew, okay. It happened and we both got a little whacked out because of it."

"Fine, Rick. I’m all for starting over. But now we’ve got to put off having children because of this."

"Dara, I won’t be taking these shots forever. As soon as I make enough of a physical improvement to where I don’t need the shots anymore, then I’ll find out from the doctor how long I have to wait before we can start trying."

Dara huffed a bit. "You know, Rick. I read some of the pamphlets the doctor gave you on Bells. There’s a good chance that you can relapse, you know that?"

Sav gripped his teacup tight. "Yes, Dara, I do know that. But I’m believing that I won’t."

"But what if you do? What if you have to be on these steroids for a while? When are we going to be able to start a family?"

Sav tried hard not to lose his patience. "Like I said, Dara…I don’t know. What I need from you right now is a little patience until I do know."

Dara shook her head back and forth, hating to be defeated by this. "Christ, Rick, this illness is screwing up our lives in more ways than one."

Sav had it with her complaining. "Well, I’m so sorry to be such a disappointment to you, Dara. For the last 2 ½ years you’ve experienced nothing with me except life on the road with a popular rock star. You’ve lived the good life right along with me. Well, now real life is setting in, and real life has bad moments too."

They were both silent for a moment, not being able to face one another, until Sav spoke up.

"Dara, look…before we continue to say things we really don’t mean, lets just call it a night. I just want to sit down on the couch and relax with a cup of tea and watch the telly. You want to join me or not?"

"Actually, I was kinda hoping that we could go out tonight, that is..if you’re feeling up to it."

"No, I’m not. Not yet."

Sav just watched her let out a long huff.

"Look, if you want to go out, give your friends a call. Or call Kevin. No reason you have to be cooped up in here with me."

"Well, Kevin’s out," Dara said. "Seems he and Chelsea are making up for lost time since I’ve been taking up a lot of his."

"Oh?" Sav’s ears perked as his insides jumped.

"Yeah, they had a big talk a couple of weeks ago about furthering their relationship, if you know what I mean."

Sav knew exactly what she meant. Kevin was probably convincing Chelsea to move their relationship to an intimate level. He suddenly knew exactly how Kevin felt. He and Dara rarely slept in the same bed since he got sick and the lonliness and frustration was killing him. And, knowing what a beautiful, sexy, warm woman Chelsea is, he couldn’t blame Kevin for wanting her that way. Especially after he got a taste of her on New Years……

"Rick…are you listening to me?"

Sav snapped out of the memory of his kiss with Chelsea. "Yeah, I heard you. I’m…I’m glad those two are getting on. Kevin’s a nice guy and I’m sure Chelsea would be….wise to stay with him."

"I just hope she doesn’t yank his chain again. Anyway, maybe I will find one of the girls to go out tonight. There’s a band playing at Fitzsimmons tonight. Sure you don’t mind?"

"Not at all." In truth, Sav really wanted to be alone tonight. Alone with his thoughts. About his medical condition, his life, and his future.

That wouldn’t include Chelsea.

June, 1994

Chelsea spent the early part of her Saturday morning cleaning her flat and doing laundry. She and Kevin have been getting on quite well since their talk a few months ago. Only a few weeks later, after getting reacquainted with each other all over again, Chelsea finally gave in and slept with Kevin. She had to admit, it was wonderful. Not the frenzied, wild joining on the couch 5 months ago as she watched Sav strut across the stage on the tv screen, but a beautiful, tender act of lovemaking, in bed, that was really worth the wait.

She thought Kevin was gonna lose it in the movie theatre the night she decided and whispered it in his ear during the movie. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough with her.

Chelsea smiled to herself as she thought about it, while running a vacuum all over her flat. Things were finally starting to fall into place in her life. She had a wonderful guy who was a passionate lover, an interesting job that she loved and her independence. As hard as it was, she willed herself not to constantly think of Sav. Since Kevin was spending so much time with her, he hadn’t been privy to what’s been going on between him and Dara. Only a few tidbits here and there. She had found out how Dara got upset because Sav’s doctor told him that he shouldn’t try to father children while on his medication. All in all, that’s pretty much all she knew. As much as she wanted to know every detail of his life, she knew that not knowing was for the better of her own peace of mind so she can concentrate on her own happiness.

But still, she wondered.

Late that afternoon the phone rang. It was Kevin.

"Hi, luv. What are you up to?"

"Oh, nothing much," Chelsea replied. "Just catching up on chores around the flat. Whats up?"

"Well, I just got a call from Dara. I got bad news. Sav’s father passed away."

Chelsea’s heart started to beat rapidly. "Oh my God! Oh, no…Kevin. What from?"

"It was his heart. He seemed to be having a lot of chest pains the last few months and hasn’t been telling anyone. The last one proved fatal. They’re gonna be leaving for Sheffield immediately so Sav and his brothers can make funeral arrangements and such. I…I think, since I’m family now, that I should go. Chels, I’d like you to come with me."

Chelsea’s hadn’t seen nor talked to Sav since he showed up at her flat to apologize for screaming at her in his house and smashing the mirror. Just when she thought she was getting over him in her thoughts this happened. Now, the mere thought of seeing him was making her crazy with anticipation, in light of the circumstances. But, she knew him as a friend and a business client. She was now officially steady with Kevin who was his wife’s favorite cousin. She had to go.

"Of…of course, Kevin. I’ll go with you. When do we leave?"

"Well, we’ll probably be there for at least two days for the wake and funeral. The wake will probably be in 2 days so we can leave the morning of and go straight to the funeral home from the airport. How’s that sound?"

"Fine, I’ll make arrangements at work for leave."

"Okay, good. I’ll, um, see you tonight?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Chelsea flatly replied. "Anything special you want to do?"

"Yeah….you!"

Chelsea tried to see the sexy humor in his reply, but couldn’t. She couldn’t get her mind off Sav. First his illness, then the strain on his marriage and now losing his father. How much more can this poor man take? She tried to lighten her mood a bit.

"You’ve become a fresh boy, Kevin."

"You’ve turned me into one, woman. How about a simple night. Take out and a video?"

"Sounds good. Pick something out, just nothing sci-fi. We’ll order out when you get here and have it delivered."

"Sounds good luv. I’ll be over around 6-ish, okay?"

"Okay, bye."

Chelsea hung up the phone, sat on the couch and thought of what Sav was possibly going through right now. She put her face in her hands and cried for him.

********************

3 Days Later

Chelsea stood on the cemetary grounds on a warm, sunny Sheffield day. Her hand was clasped firmly in Kevin’s as they, and everyone else in attendance, listened to the priest say a final prayer over the casket of Ken Savage as his immediate family, wife Sarah and sons John, Brian and Richard stood beside it.

Chelsea found it hard to take her eyes off Sav the last two days. His face, which, for the last several months had been filled with devestation and fear, was now filled with grief. He and his brothers kept their arms around their mother. Dara and John’s wife, Christina, stood directly next to them. Not far from Sav were his other brothers – Joe, Phil, Rick and Viv with their wives.

When the priest finished, he turned to give final condolences to the family before leaving. Then, one by one, others in attendances went up to them. Finally, Sav broke free and walked over to his band brothers who formed a circle, took him inside and hugged him. It was obvious to see that all five guys were crying.

It broke Chelsea’s heart in two.

"C’mon, lets go over there," Kevin said as he pulled Chelsea by the hand.

Chelsea had only met the family at the wedding but they remembered her. She expressed her sympathies to them then waited for Kevin to do so. He then went over to Dara afterwards.

"So, how’s he holding up?" Kevin asked her.

"Better," Dara said. "Especially since the band is here."

That last comment twinged with a bit of sarcasm.

"Kevin, you guys are coming to the restaurant after this, right?"

"Yeah, of course." Kevin turned to Chelsea who nodded her reply. They just couldn’t leave after this. The family needed as many people around them as possible at the gathering afterwards.

"Good. I..I really don’t know anyone in his family well enough that I’m comfortable around. Other than the guy’s wives, I don’t really know anyone that well. I’m glad to have someone on ‘my side’ there."

Chelsea didn’t realize how unsocial Dara was. In a time like this, she should at least extend herself and get to know the family. Whatever.

She then realized that her and Kevin hadn’t gone up to Sav yet. He was still with the band. And he looked relieved being with them. She smiled at the look on his face, basking in the comfort of his bandmates presence.

"Kevin, I think we should go up to Sav at the restaurant. He looks preoccupied with the band right now. I think being with them is just what he needs and I don’t think we should disturb him."

Kevin smiled at her consideration. "Good idea, luv. We’ll catch him later."

With one final look in Sav’s direction, Chelsea followed Kevin to the car and headed for the restaurant.

********************

Chelsea and Kevin were at the gathering for several hours before they had to leave to catch their flight back to Ireland. They hadn’t been able to get Sav’s attention since he was surrounded by so many people.

They made their rounds to say goodbye. When they got to Dara, Kevin gave her a hug and some words of encouragement.

"How long will you be in Sheffield?" Chelsea asked her.

"Well, I won’t be here too long, if I can help it. This place is so dreary. Absolutely nothing to do, unless all you want to do is sit in a pub all night drinking pints of lager and playing snooker. No action like in Dublin, ya know?"

It took just about all of Chelsea’s efforts not to reach up and slap Dara across her whining, inconsiderate face. She wasn’t here to have a good time, she was here to console her husband and his family. What in God’s name is the matter with her?

"Rick will probably stay for a week or two to get things settled with his mum. I’ll probably go back tomorrow or the next day."

"Gee, Dara," Chelsea had to speak up, "don’t you think Rick may want you to stay with him?"

"Probably not. He and his brothers will take care of everything. And John’s wife Christina is closer to my mother-in-law than I am so she’ll be there for her."

Chelsea couldn’t believe the selfishness she was hearing.

"Well, we’ve got a plane to catch," Kevin interjected. "Dara, if you need anything when you get back, call me."

"I will. And thanks for coming, Kevin. You too, Chelsea."

Chelsea snidly thought that nothing was more wonderful than being treated as an after-thought.

"You’re welcome, Dara. We never gave it a second thought."

With that, Chelsea and Kevin went to finally seek out Sav. Believe it or not, he had broke away from all the people and was sitting in a window seat towards the back of the dining hall, staring out the window. When he heard footsteps he looked up. A warm, genuine smile graced his face when he saw Chelsea. He then looked to Kevin and the smile diminished a bit. He arose and walked over to them.

"Sav," Kevin said, extending his hand, "I’m so sorry that this is the first time all day that we had a chance to see you. Chelsea and I figured it be best to see you on our way out instead of fighting through the crowd that was constantly surrounding you."

Sav gave Kevin’s hand a firm shake before he looked at Chelsea.

Chelsea wanted to weep on the spot at the look of grief and anguish on his face. His swollen eyes were a weak shade of blue behind his glasses and his skin was a bit pale. However, when she saw his brave attempt to smile, she smiled back.

"Yeah, I know," Sav said. "This is the first moment I got to be alone in the last 3 days."

"Well, we won’t keep you, Rick. We just wanted to say goodbye before we head to the airport."

"Trust me, luv. You’re not keeping me." Sav took Chelsea’s hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it as they exchanged a warm glance and a smile. Sav instantly dropped her hand, remembering Kevin, who was looking at the exchange a little warily before shaking it off. He knew that Chelsea and Sav were friends whereas he and Chelsea were now lovers.

"Chelsea, I’m gonna go get the car. Wait for me outside, okay?"

"Okay."

Kevin said his final goodbyes to Sav before leaving.

This was the first time that Chelsea was alone with Sav since the night he showed up on her doorstep to apologize. The thought made her heart flutter.

"Chelsea….I..I’ve missed you," he said with a look that almost made Chelsea fall apart.

"And…I’ve missed you too. Truth is, since, um, Kevin and I have been spending more time together, he hasn’t seen or talked to Dara that much. So, Rick….you look wonderful. You’re improving brilliantly. That must make you happy."

"Yeah, that’s about all."

"What….what do you mean by that?"

"Oh….nothing. Just a few little monkey wrenches thrown into the machine of my life, ya know? Nothing that won’t work itself out. This…this hasn’t helped any, though."

"Rick, I am so sorry. I only met your dad at the wedding. He seemed like a truly lovely man. I know that, between you and your brothers, that you’ll help your mum through this. How long do you plan to stay in Sheffield?"

"Probably a week or two. We’re gonna go through my dad’s things, you know, household papers and such that he kept, so my mum knows where things stand."

"Listen, Rick…I’m sure enough people already offered this, but, please, if there is anything I can do…well, you know where I am. I mean that."

Sav regarded her words that caused his eyes to water.

"Yes, luv," he thought to himself. "What I need you to do is stay here with me these next two weeks. My wife is gonna abandon me, yet again. I need someone here so bad with me."

Sav regained his composure and brought her hand to his lips again. "Thank you, Chelsea. I’ll remember that."

He placed a whisper-soft, but achingly tender kiss on her knuckles that caused the gooseflesh to rise on her arm. Oh, God she wanted so bad to throw her arms around him and hug all the hurt away.

In truth, she wanted to stay right here with him.

Just as she thought that, she heard a car horn. Kevin.

Chelsea looked towards the door, then back to Sav, who dropped her hand.

"I guess that’s your signal."

Chelsea just nodded.

"Things have been going good for you two, I see. I’m…I’m truly happy for you Chels."

Somehow, Chelsea wasn’t convinced by Sav’s declaration for her happiness.

"Thank you, Rick. Well, let me go. Remember what I said now. Please don’t hesitate to ask."

"I won’t, luv. I promise."

Chelsea gave him a smile and Sav answered with one of his own before she turned to leave.

As soon as she left, Sav’s smile diminished.

*********************

Three Months Later

August, 1994

Chelsea and Kevin attended an anniversary party for his parents. She had been nervous since she arrived because she knew that Sav and Dara would be here as well. She hadn’t seen nor heard from him since the day of the funeral. Not that he was obligated to call her or anything. She offered her help and left it up to him. He was probably still helping his mum with things and dealing with Dara in between.

Things were still going swimmingly with her and Kevin. They were sitting at a table with a few of his other cousins when Sav and Dara walked in. Chelsea instantly spotted him, which caused her heart to pound. She cursed the reaction that she was still getting whenever she saw him, wondering when it was gonna stop.

She also realized that Kevin never warranted that reaction from her in the entire time that they’d been together.

Since their table was full, Sav and Dara wound up sitting elsewhere. She kept her eyes on them until Sav looked her way. He gave her a warm, relived smile before Dara pulled on his hand to their destination.

"Stop it, Chelsea," she warned herself. "You have got to stop this. You’ve been doing so good. Just tell your heart to quit doing sommersaults everytime he walks in the room. Forget about him even being there and concentrate on Kevin."

After dinner and dessert was served, some people got up to mingle at other tables. Kevin took Chelsea by the hand.

"Come with me."

Chelsea allowed Kevin to lead her outside to the garden area of the restaurant. There was a small gazaebo that was decorated with hanging pots of colorful plants all around. He led her inside and they both sat down.

"I just wanted to get out of there for a moment. Its such a beautiful summer day and I wanted to bring you out here to show you this. Pretty, huh?"

"Yes, it is. Very pretty."

Kevin then turned to her. "Chelsea, I know we’ve only been together for less than a year. But its been more than enough for me to realize that I love you. Very much. You’re all that I could ever want in a woman. And, I believe you feel the same way about me…is that true?"

"Yes, Kevin. I…I do love you too. Whats not to love? You’re a wonderful man. Kind, considerate, sweet, tender, affectionate and respectful."

Kevin took both her hands in his and leaned closer to her. "Chelsea, I’m…I’m not good at things like this, especially when I’m nervous. But…oh, Lord, I can’t believe it."

"What, Kevin?"

Kevin took a deep breath, looked in her eyes then dropped to his knees.

"Chelsea, luv…I…I want you to be my wife."

Chelsea felt the blood drain from her face as she looked at Kevin’s nervous one. She wasn’t expecting this at all, at least not so soon. Yes, she did love Kevin. He had many, many qualities that she did love about him. However, she knew, deep down inside, that she wasn’t in love with him.

Still and all, here was a perfectly nice guy that she had been in a steady and intimate relationship with for almost 10 months professing his love and asking her to marry him. How many more chances would she have at this?

She then thought of the blonde, blue eyed bass player that had secretly stolen her heart and held onto to it right up until this day. But she knew that there was no chance with him. And, even if he was single, she knew there’d never be. However, that wish he made the night of the pre-tour party over two years ago still haunted her mind.

To this day, that drove her crazy – wondering what he actually meant by that.

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter. Sav was a married man and she was about to give an answer that would determine her future with the man kneeling at her feet.

Chelsea looked deep into Kevin’s hazel eyes, took a deep breath and answered him.

"Yes. Yes, Kevin. I will marry you."

Kevin’s face instantly brightened as he kissed her hand before reaching in his pocket and pulling out a ring box. He opened it and turned it towards Chelsea.

It was a simple, but stunning 1 carat solitare. Her face warmed as Kevin took it out of the box and slipped it on her finger.

He then embraced her and gave her a long, lingering kiss on the lips. "C’mon, lets go tell my parents."

Chelsea allowed Kevin to pull her inside as they found his parents and shared the good news. His father then clinked his glass to get everyone’s attention and made the joyous announcement. Everyone in the room broke out into applause as Kevin turned Chelsea to him for another kiss.

When the broke the kiss, Chelsea looked out and locked eyes with Sav. He was clapping along with everyone else but his face had the look of a man who had lost everything he had.

19

4 Months Later

December 1994

Dara took it upon herself to host an engagement party at her and Sav’s house for her favorite cousin and his bride-to-be.

Chelsea tried her best to talk Dara out of it, preferring to go with a quaint little restaurant that Kevin’s parents had chosen. But, ever the one who likes to show off, Dara insisted, saying that Strawberry Hill House had more than enough room and Sav had more than enough money to pay for it. Chelsea felt very uncomfortable having her engagement party at Sav’s house, but when Dara told her that she’d combine it with a Christmas party, she felt a little better. Chelsea told Dara to stress ‘no gifts’ for her engagement, since it was Christmas time and didn’t want people to feel obligated.

The happy couple walked around, mingling and talking with various members of his family and precious few of hers who flew in from London. Every so often she caught a glimpse of Sav who looked like a lost puppy.

She entered the kitchen and got herself a cup of coffee from the large urn. There were caterers bustling about keeping the food and drink circulating. As a few of them rushed past her with trays of miniature pastries, Chelsea just shook her head. She never liked big fancy parties and didn’t care for all the fuss.

Since the kitchen was too crowded, she slipped away downstairs to the entertainment room for a little peace and quiet. She walked towards the large floor to ceiling windows and looked out as dusk started to form over Killiney Bay.

She put her coffee cup down and brought her hands up to rub her arms. Although her lovely body was encased in a long, form fitting, forest green velvet dress, that boasted a low neck and a side slit, she caught a chill. Since she wore her hair in a wild, messy upsweep, the back of her neck was cold as well.

She caught a dim reflection of herself in the window. It was not the happy image of a woman at her engagement party. It was a woman who was unsure about her future. Just then, another reflection appeared in the window. Someone was behind her. She turned quickly to find Sav standing there.

And, as usual, her heart dropped.

"Hiding out on your own party?" he asked.

Chelsea offered him a warm smile. "No, just want to get away from all the people for a while. I don’t like big gatherings like this. I told Dara I didn’t want it, that I’d rather have it at the little restaurant Kevin’s parents chose. But, as always, she gets her way."

Chelsea saw Sav roll his eyes when she said that.

"So, Rick….I’m so sick of wedding talk. Tell me about the progress of writing for the new album."

She saw Sav smile wide, having the opportunity to talk about something he loved so much.

"Well, we’ve got almost all of it written and should start recording soon. Its gonna surprise a lot of people."

"Why’s that?"

"Well, with all these new alternative rock bands that have emerged since we last toured, its basically turned around everything that people may want to hear. I think once Nirvana hit the airwaves that was it. With that kind of sound being so popular, we don’t think people will warm to another ‘Hysteria’, ya know? We’ve decided to test the waters a bit to see if our fans will let us experiment a bit. We’ll still have the trademark Def Leppard sound, but with more of a 90’s edge."

"Sounds interesting. Can’t wait to hear what it sounds like."

"It’ll probably be out sometime early 1996. Until then, we also we’re given the idea for a greatest hits album."

"Wow, Rick…you really know that you’ve made it big when you have enough hits to compile on one record."

"Yeah, I guess," Sav said, blushing a bit. "Joe and I already did some pre-selecting. Most will be from ‘Hysteria’ and the rest will be from the other albums and a couple that no one’s heard yet."

Chelsea couldn’t stop herself from grinning as he talked. "I’ve got to be honest with you Rick. I’ve never seen you as happy as when you’re talking about band stuff."

"It’s the only thing in my life right now where I actually get true happiness from."

The somber look on his face caused Chelsea to step away from the window and towards him. "Rick…whats wrong?"

He took a deep breath and gave her a reassuring smile. "Oh, nothing. At least, nothing that should be discussed on such a wonderful day like this."

It killed Sav inside to put on such a brave front when his insides were tearing in two.

"By the way, lass….you look absolutely smashing in that dress. You certainly have the bo…….."

Being so near to her, even though there was a houseful of people upstairs, was very dangerous. He knew that no matter their marital status, there would always be an secret electric spark between them whenever they looked upon one another. Sav felt it whenever he saw her and he saw it in Chelsea's eyes whenever she looked at him.

Regrets for so many wrong decisions assailed Sav at the moment. The band was the one and only staple in his life at the moment from which he derived total happiness and a feeling of worth.

He had been spending a lot of time at Joe’s with Viv and Phil writing these past few months so he hadn’t been home too much, at least during the day. The nights were just as lonely.

"Thank you, Rick."

"Huh?" Chelsea’s voice snapped Sav from his tormenting thoughts.

"Thank you. For your compliment about my dress."

"Actually, luv…you look lovely in just about anything you wear."

Sav cursed his mouth for acting independantly of his brain. He saw Chelsea flush at his compliment, lending a innocent pink color to her cheeks.

"Stop it, Savage," he scolded himself. "Stop it right now. You belong to someone else and soon she will too. There’s nothing that can be done so just stop it and deal with your own problems on your own time and don’t burden this lass with them."

"Rick, are you sure you’re alright?"

"No, lass, I’m not," he thought.

"Of course. Christmas is in 5 days and I’m looking forward to seeing my family. And…today we’re celebrating your engagement. You…you looked so happy upstairs, Chels. Kevin too. I..I know he’s gonna make you very happy in the future."

"How, Rick?" her mind screamed. "How do you know that? If I’m so happy with another man, then why do I have an undying urge to throw my arms around you, kiss you senseless and make all that pain you’re trying to hide from me go away?"

But she couldn’t ask him that. She had to pretend to be happy, just as much as he was. She walked over to him and placed a gentle yet comforting hand on his arm.

"Thanks, Rick. I’m…I’m sure he will."

Her words didn’t convince Sav one bit. And, from the look on her face, Chelsea wasn’t convinced by them either.

They just stared into one anothers eyes, wanting so badly to give in to what their minds were screaming at them to stay away from. Which was each other.

Chelsea lost out. She reached up and put her arms around his neck, pressed her face against his shoulder and hugged him tight.

She heard Sav let out what sounded like a groan of ecstasy and instinctively wrap his arms around her waist. The feel of his body pressed so intimately against hers since New Years Eve was as intoxicating as the feel of his baby soft hair tickling her cheek and the natural scent of his warm skin.

Sav’s mind was spinning out of control at the feel of her lush body through the sensuous velvet. As he breathed in her cherry blossom scented skin and carefully ran his hands up and down her slender back, he hardened instantly. It was nothing more than a hug, but to Sav it was most powerful physical contact he had from a woman in a long time.

As they held each other in the seconds of silence, their minds spoke out to one another.

"Oh baby," Chelsea’s mind cried out, "you feel so good. You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hold you like this. I’d do anything to have you, Rick. Anything. I…oh, God, I still love you. So much. So very, very much that it hurts. How am I gonna marry another man when I’m in love with another?"

Little did Chelsea know, Sav’s thoughts were just as tormenting.

"God lass," he silently said to her, "I love the feel of you. Oh, Chelsea, you make me feel so good, even when I didn’t feel good about myself. I know Kevin’s a nice guy, but Christ luv… don’t marry him. I know you’re not in love with him. I know that you love me. Please Chelsea. My marriage is all but dead. I’m so friggin’ lonely that I can’t stand it. Please, luv…please don’t do it."

"Chels?"

Kevin!

Chelsea and Sav broke their contact and noticed that each others eyes were glazed. Chelsea heard Kevin’s voice and giggled a bit.

"Déjà vu, huh?"

Sav knew she was remembering when Kevin interrupted their New Years Eve kiss. And it’s a good thing he interrupted now because he was so out of his mind with want for her that he wanted to ravage her mouth again.

"In here."

Kevin walked in just as Chelsea walked up to him with a smile and placed a kiss on his cheek, trying to mask what just transpired between herself and Sav.

"Hey, luv..I’ve been looking for you." He looked past her to see Sav behind her. "I always seem to be finding you with Sav."

Chelsea didn’t miss a beat. "Well, he was just letting me in on the particulars for the new album. Gives me a headstart on what to expect for PR in the future."

Kevin seemed convinced by that. "Lass, no talk of work today. Right Sav?"

"Right," he regretfully replied as he tried to calm his body down. "Go back up with Kevin, Chels. Enough business talk."

Chelsea turned and mouthed ‘thank you’ to Sav before heading back up with Kevin.

When they were out of sight, Sav threw his head back and let out a relieved breath. He then walked over to the fireplace where his eye immediately caught a picture of him and Dara on their wedding day. He couldn’t get over how happy he looked that day. If only he knew that that happiness would begin to evaporate only two months after their wedding when he got sick.

"Oh God," he murmured. "What am I gonna do?"

20

June 1995

Six Months Later

Chelsea and Kevin’s October wedding was fast approaching. Although he wanted to be involved, he let Chelsea plan whatever type of wedding she wanted – and she opted for something very simple and quaint. Since she had very little family coming in from London, it would be mostly Kevin’s family and a few close friends. She had chosen a lovely restaurant with a banquet hall that had a cozy, rustic feel to it.

She decided to keep her wedding party small and hassle free. Because of the engagement party, she felt obligated to have Dara as a bridesmaid. She asked Sylvia to be another bridesmaid and her long time best friend from London to be her matron of honor.

Kevin chose his brother as his best man. Since he had confided in Sav a lot during his courtship with Chelsea, he asked Sav to be in the wedding along with another close friend of his.

Chelsea kept everything simple, yet classy, right down to her wedding gown which was an unadorned, short sleeved, off the shoulder satin dress overlayed with whisper soft chiffon. The bridesmaids dresses were a pale, butter yellow made of chiffon. She chose white gardenias, stephanotis and Queen Anne’s Lace for her bouquet.

This morning she was perusing over three huge albums of invitations and was totally overwhelmed by it all. She sat on her couch with all three books spread out on her coffee table, not knowing what to choose. When she finally narrowed it down to five to go over with Kevin, she carefully perused the different kinds of script and wondered what to use for wordage.

Her mind then began to wander.

Nah, too long. She hated hyphenated names so much! As she continued to look, she came across a beautiful script in a lovely ribbon design in a shade of silvery blue that reminded her so much of……

Her mind wandered off the wrong path, yet again.

"Mrs. Richard Savage. Mrs. Chelsea Savage."

She immediately slammed the books shut. She couldn’t believe that it was only 4 months until her wedding and she was still thinking about Sav in that way. She had seen him once in a while when she’d gone over his house to do wedding stuff with Dara. Most of the time he was over Joe’s. They were putting the finishing touches on the new album and making final preparations for the release of their greatest hits album that would be due out in October.

Its been six months since they embraced at her engagement party, yet the feel of his body, the warmth of his hands and the tenderness of his caress still burned her to the core. She wondered when she’d ever get over this.

If ever.

***************

Three Months Later

September, 1995

Chelsea’s doorbell rang. It was Dara.

"Dara, hi," Chelsea said, surprised by her unexpected visit.

"Chels, I’m sorry to drop in on you like this but I have to talk to you."

"Dara, whats wrong? You look worried."

"Well, I am. You’re gonna hate me for what I’m about to say."

"What?"

"I have to drop out of the wedding."

"What? Why?"

"Well, there’s no tactful way to say this so I’m just gonna say it. I’ve had it with my marriage. I’m asking Rick for a separation. I think it may be awkward for us to be in this wedding together."

Chelsea felt like a bolt of lightening struck her. A separation?

"Dara…my God, are you sure you want to do this? I…I thought things were getting better with you two."

"They never were getting better, Chelsea. I mean, two months after we got married he gets this freakish illness. And, to top it off, because of the medication, we have to hold off on having children. Now that he and the band have been working non-friggin’ stop on the album and upcoming tour, he’s rarely been home. It..it just hasn’t been the same. I’m just not happy anymore. This is not the way I planned our lives to be."

Chelsea didn’t care anymore. She totally snapped.

"You know, Dara…ever since I’d been dating Kevin I held my tongue. But I can’t any longer. You are the most selfish, inconsiderate, self-centered person I’ve known. You have absolutely no idea how good you have it and you’re willing to throw it all away because, ‘things didn’t turn out as you planned’. Well too-damned-friggin’ bad, Dara. Your husband didn’t plan to have happen to him what did. And what did you do to comfort and support him? You went out just about every night and cried on Kevin’s shoulder because your husband was no longer the rock star stud you married. I can’t believe how shallow you could be. You have everything you could want, Dara. You live in a huge hilltop house overlooking the bay, money, sports car and all the leisure you could possible dream of. If you ask me, I think you’re out of your friggin’ mind!"

Dara’s eyes were on fire. "Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that? You know absolutely nothing of my life with Rick and what I’ve had to go through!"

"There you go again, Dara. I, I, I. Everything is all about you. And, for your information, Kevin filled me in on all the nights you used to call and whine to him about what happened to Rick. Like he asked for it!"

"Look," Dara seethed. "I came here in person because I felt bad about what I was going to do. I could’ve done it over the phone, ya know?"

"Oh, I’m so honored that you chose to back out of my wedding a month before, Dara. Thanks for the consideration."

"I’m not gonna stay here and take this. You know nothing of me or my life with Rick. And, you know something, now that I’ve seen this side of you, you’re not even good enough for Kevin. I may have to warn him of your hidden shrewish behavior."

"Tell him whatever you want, Dara. I really don’t care. All I’m saying is that if you throw a life away with Rick because of your petty little complaints, then it’s a mistake you’ll have to live with. Excuse me, but didn’t you know that he was in a band before you married him? All of a sudden it’s a problem because he’s off working on an album – something he’s done since he was a teenager. And, if it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t be living the high life, would you? You want to throw that all away, fine. Its your miserable life."

Dara stormed to the door, opened it then looked back to Chelsea.

"Screw you, bitch," she spat before slamming the door shut.

Chelsea stood in the middle of her living room shaking from the uncontrollable mix of anger and fear that coursed through her. Anger at that spoiled little Irish bitch who just threw a monkey wrench in her wedding and fear for what this wonderful little decision of hers was gonna do to Sav.

"Separated," her mind said. "Oh, God…he’s gonna be a single man….oh, not that it matters. He would never want me….."

"Chelsea…I wish…I wish you moved to Dublin sooner," she heard Sav’s voice say again.

Chelsea grabbed her head with her hands, shaking it back and forth.

Chelsea wiped the tears that escaped from her eyes and calmed herself down. She was getting married in a month and she had absolutely no viable reason to call it off. She wouldn’t torment herself anymore with choosing between her heart and reality.

Kevin would be her husband in reality. But Sav would always be her lover in her heart.

21

One Week Later

September, 1995

Sav went over to Joe’s around 11:30am to where they immediately retreated to his music studio to get down to some work. Their greatest hits album, to be titled ‘Vault’ , was to be released next month and, as a promotional stunt, the band was going to do three different concerts on three different continents – but all in one day. The continents were already chosen; Africa, Great Britain and Canada. Now he and Joe were going to go over some tentative song sets before discussing them with the rest of the band.

Sav sat almost head to head with Joe, barely giving no more than a ‘yeah’, ‘no’, or ‘maybe’ as answers. Joe knew that, as soon as Sav walked in his house, something was wrong. He just figured that Dara was in one of her moods again and decided not to press it. However, when Joe suggested the song, ‘When Love And Hate Collide’, as a possible song to perform, Sav lost it.

Sav bolted from his chair and walked over to the window as he covered his eyes with his right hand. Joe knew that it was more than just a ‘bad mood’ from Dara this time.

"Sav," Joe called to him gently. "Mate…whats wrong?"

Sav didn’t answer. Instead, Joe saw his shoulders shake gently and watched him remove his glasses to wipe his eyes. It was obvious he was crying.

"Oh, crap," Joe thought. "What did that bitch do to him now?"

"Mate, its okay. You don’t have to talk. I’m sorry I asked. Listen, I’m gonna go in and grab something for lunch and give you some time…."

"Its over Joe," came Sav’s hoarse, trembling voice.

"What? You mean you and Dara?"

"Yeah. She…she asked for a separation a few days ago. Things just haven’t been the same between us since I got sick. I mean, she made some attempts, but I don’t know how genuine they were. I only wish I got sick before I married her. Maybe I would’ve found out exactly what kind of woman I was dealing with and saved myself from now having to wait four, painful years for a divorce."

Joe knew exactly what Sav was going through. He and Karla separated a while ago and just began divorce proceedings that wouldn’t be final until 1999. Recently, Joe met a beautiful stewardess named Bobbi on a flight and soon became very cozy. However, the pain of going through a divorce with someone you pledged ‘till death do you part’ with was very devestating.

But he knew that Sav’s pain was worse because his wife was abandoning him, thinking that, because of what happened to him, would cause him to be washed up. Obviously, marriage to a has-been rock star who didn’t look the same as he did when she married him didn’t fare well with her. On the bright side, Joe was relieved that Sav would be rid of her. Like Karla, they only seemed to be out for the fame and money. And, according to Karla’s divorce settlement demands, she was asking for a lot!

"Sav," Joe responded conceredly, "I’m so sorry, mate. I guess…I don’t know, I guess maybe we kinda saw this coming."

"Yeah, in some ways I did," Sav answered. "But I kinda hoped that whatever was wrong between us would smooth over. But I guess that she didn’t love me enough – the real me. Lets face it, Joe… she wanted Sav – her fantasy, poster boy, famous rock star who’s life, to everyone on the outside, appears to be perfect and problem-free. But when she realized she married Rick – a real person, with real life problems and difficulties just like everyone else, I guess it shattered the fantasy and woke her up from a dream that was obviously a nightmare."

"Sav, stop coming down so hard on yourself. I thought you put an end to that self-pity crap a long time ago? You didn’t do anything wrong. She’s the one with the problem. I know there are no words that can console you so soon, believe me, I’m going throught he same thing, mate. But, remember…..this is all her doing, not yours. The only thing I can say is that you found out who the real Dara is. I know its almost 3 years too late, and now you’ve got to drag this friggin’ Irish divorice out another 4, but, now you can look back over the choices you made and make sure you don’t make them again. You can find someone who wants you as you are – no matter what."

Joe immediately thought of Chelsea when he said that but knew, with her marrying Kevin next month, that she’d wouldn’t be available. If only….

"Yeah, well I only know of one ‘someone’ and it was ‘someone’ I should have married. But now she’s marrying someone else."

Joe’s ears perked up a bit. He couldn’t be talking about…Chelsea?

"Who are you talking about, Sav?"

Sav turned her tear-stained face to Joe. "I think you know exactly who I’m talking about, Joe, considering she unleashed her heart to you after I scared her out of my house last year."

Joe was dumbfounded. "How…how did you know about that?"

"Because after I smashed a mirror and screamed at her to leave my house, I felt real bad. I went to go after her but she already took off. I couldn’t stay in the house one minute longer, but didn’t want to go out in public yet. So I got in my car and drove to your place. I saw Chelsea’s car there and wondered what she was doing there. I then figured that I could use the opportunity to apologize to her. I walked around the back entrance by the deck off the kitchen. I approached the opened slider just as she.."Sav took a deep breath before continuing…."just as she confessed that she had loved me all along. Joe, I just froze. I…I had no idea she felt that way about me. If I had only know, then maybe I would’ve given into my feelings for her and ditched Dara. But she never led on for me to believe that she wanted to be anything than good friends."

"That," Joe said, "was because you were with Dara. You were pretty steady with her by the time Chelsea came here from London. She figured you were off limits and hoped she could be satisfied with a friendship. However, the more she got to know you, I guess her feelings changed, even though she knew she’d never have a chance. And, it was easy to spot, especially the way your fact lit up around her, that you had some inner feelings for her too, despite Dara. Especially the night of the pre-tour party at your house when you got engaged."

"Oh, God," Sav groaned. "Why didn’t I listen to my gut feelings back then? I knew I got drunk for a reason. If I didn’t have any second thoughts, then I wouldn’t have tried to drown them in champagne. But, Joe….I wasn’t too drunk that night to remember how friggin’ incredible Chelsea looked. I know I was a man who just got engaged, but she looked so beautiful in that dress. Her hair, her skin, bloody hell those legs of her……..Christ!"

"Hmm," Joe said with a twinkle in his eye, "if only you waited until after Chelsea arrived before you gave Dara the rock. Maybe you would’ve given into those second thoughts."

"Maybe if I knew how she felt, I probably would’ve. But I didn’t know. And, whats ironic, is when I did finally find out, it was when I looked my possible worst."

"Well Sav, that’s proof positive that her love for you is for whats inside and not out. "

"And what good does that do me now, Joe? She’s marrying Dara’s cousin next month. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Kevin is really a nice guy. Too nice and normal if you ask me. She deserves to be happy with someone and Kevin fair worships her. Its just…"

"What, mate?"

"Oh God, Joe…I feel like a wanker for thinking this. But, I wish this wedding would fall through. I wish for something, Joe…anything, that would cause either one of them to call it off. But there’s nothing on the surface that would be viable grounds. God, mate…I wish there were an angel up there that can hear me and find someway to break them up. I know that Dara just asked for the separation but…I…I want her, Joe. I want Chelsea…badly. I’ve wanted her ever since last New Years Eve"

"Oh?" Joe said with raised brows. "And what exactly happen then?"

Sav got a bit guilty looking. "Well, our friendly midnight kiss turned into a hot make out session, that’s what!"

"Sav! Christ, you were making out with her under the same roof where your wife was?"

"Joe, please I know! It…it wasn’t meant to get that out of control. I gave her a small peck on the lips. But then I had to have another, then another and, before you knew it, our arms were wrapped around one another and our tongues were in each other’s mouths. Joe, as wrong as it was, I couldn’t have pulled away if I had a pack of wild horses tied to me. She felt so damn good. I don’t know, maybe I was just trying to find out what I was missing out on. Problem was….I should’ve done it before I got married."

"Uh….yeah!" Joe said sarcastically.

"Look, I know it was wrong. Dead, dead wrong. But, Christ Joe, her body…up against mine was like………oh, dammit, I’m getting hard just thinking about it."

"I guess it never forgot the memory of that night either," Joe said with a smirk.

"Very friggin’ funny, Elliott."

"So, obviously the kiss did end. How did it happen?"

"Kevin came looking for her. He called out just before he came in and caught us which caused us to break the kiss. Damn, Joe…if he ever did…"

"Could’ve been worse, Sav. What if it was Dara who caught you?"

Sav rolled his eyes and threw his head back. "Oh, I’d probably be getting a divorce a lot sooner and be flat broke after it, that’s what!"

"Mate, I don’t know what to say. However, like you said, unless your personal angel of mercy intervenes and calls off this wedding, you’ll never have an opportunity with Chelsea."

"Joe, even if I did, do you think she’s gonna wait four friggin’ years for me to be free from Dara?"

"Well," Joe said, "you overheard what she said about you outside my kitchen. You tell me."

Sav suddenly remembered Chelsea’s words"

Sav had his answer.

Now, if only his personal angel of mercy would answer him too.

21

October, 1995

Three Days Before The Wedding

Chelsea, Kevin, the bridal party and some close friends and family attended the post-rehearsal buffet in a smaller room of the same place where the wedding reception was going to be.

At the last minute, Chelsea recruited Kevin’s sister-in-law to replace Dara. She hated doing that someone, but she didn’t seem to mind, completely understanding the situation.

Now, here she was, three days before her wedding and everything was in place. In three days, her and Kevin would be husband and wife and in four days they’d be off on a two week Carribean cruise.

Deep down inside, Chelsea would give up that cruise to go on a one day, three continent tour.

She sat at the table next to Kevin while her peripheral vision caught glimpses of Sav. She thought it very noble of him not to back out on Kevin the way Dara backed out on her, even though Dara would most likely be at the wedding.

She couldn’t help but wonder at all the turmoil that was going through him right now. First his illness, now a separation, then a long, tenuous divorce. If it weren’t for the three continent tour, the greatest hits release, the new album release next year and accompanying tour, Sav would probably be a lot worse off. She knew that with what was coming up for him regarding the band that it would, hopefully, keep his mind off everything.

If only she could claim the same thing. Even with all the wedding planning, she had never been able to keep Sav out of her mind or her heart. Now, three days before her wedding, she began to wonder if she’d ever get him out of her system. She knew, deep down inside, that the answer was a resounding no.

And now, he was going to be a single man and she was going to be a married woman. A sickening thought came over Chelsea at that thought. Four years! Four long, bloody years to wait to be free. That’s how long Sav would have to wait. If something ever happened to her and Kevin to where things didn’t work out, she’d be facing the same fate.

She turned to look at Kevin sitting next to her who was talking to his brother. After all this time together, looking at him or watching him enter the room did nothing for her. Nada! Ironically, she looked past Kevin and locked eyes with Sav and her heart completely flipped.

She couldn’t back out. Not now. She didn’t have a viable reason or the guts.

All of a sudden, Chelsea saw a young woman walk into the banquet hall. She didn’t notice her but watched her scan the room until her eyes fell upon Kevin. As soon as they noticed him, they narrowed as she stormed over to him.

"Surprise, surprise, Kevin."

Chelsea noticed that the woman was American. She looked from the woman to Kevin to find out what was going on. When she did, she saw Kevin’s face pale.

"N…Natalie?"

"Oh, so you do remember me, huh?"

"Dear God," Kevin was flabberghasted, "how, what are you doing here. And why?"

"Well, as far as the how is concerned, I happened to remain friends with the girl who was the secretary in your office in the U.S. She, in turn, talks frequently with the secretary from your office here in Dublin. I found out all the details of your upcoming wedding and finally managed to find out where you’d be tonight so I can confront you, finally! And…that brings us to the why."

"Kevin, whats going on?" Chelsea asked.

Kevin was dead silent. Several heads down, Sav watched the woman come in, approach Kevin and, judging from the look on his face, didn’t look too happy. Something was definitely not kosher.

"Chelsea," Kevin stammered. "This is Natalie. She…she and I met when I was transferred to the States around two years ago."

"Let me clarify that for you," Natalie said, turning from Kevin to Chelsea. "What he means to say is that he and I were in a serious relationship when he was in the States. Not to mention the fact that we have a child together."

"What?" Chelsea looked from Natalie to Kevin.

"Oh God!" Kevin mumbled. "Chelsea, luv…."

"Kevin…why didn’t you tell me this?" Chelsea asked.

By now, the entire rehearsal party had stopped their mingling to try to make out what they were saying. Sav included.

"Chelsea, I…I didn’t know what you’d think of me if I told you."

"Oh, trust me Kevin," Natalie spat, "she’d probably think a lot less of you if she knew that you immediately asked for a transfer back, without so much as a word to me, as soon as I told you I was pregnant. By the way, Kevin, we have a little girl. I named her Angela."

Chelsea was in total shock. "Kevin, you mean to tell me you skipped out on her, while she was carrying your baby, without even telling her?"

Kevin immediately stood up. "If you mind, can we please discuss this outside?"

"Why, Kevin?" Natalie said. "Afraid that your family will find out your little secret. Where are your parents? I’m sure they’d love to know that they have a granddaughter.

"Christ, Natalie…I can’t believe you flew here from the States, three days before my wedding to do this to me!"

"Now we’re even, Kevin, because I can’t believe that you took off on me without so much as a message on my answering machine. I thought of tracking you down, but I was too hurt and angry. At first, I was going to give the baby up for adoption but when I first saw her after she was born, I knew I couldn’t let her go."

Natalie reached into her purse and pulled out a picture and handed it to Kevin. "That was taken of her last month."

Chelsea looked at the picture of the beautiful little girl who was a mirror image of Kevin. There was no doubt that he was the father.

"Kevin…..is this true? Did you leave her like that?"

Kevin looked up from the picture that was shaking in his hands.

"Chelsea, please luv…let me explain…."

"Yes or no, Kevin?"

Kevin looked down, obviously ashamed and embarrassed. "Yes, I did."

Chelsea couldn’t believe that this man, who had been so wonderful, courteous, considerate and loving to her, could have been so heartless. What he was on the outside did not match who he truly was on the inside

Much like that witch cousin of his.

"Tell me, Kevin," Chelsea asked, "what else are you hiding that you haven’t told me?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing, luv. I swear!"

"I want you to know, Kevin, that I’m not here because I want something from you. I’ve supported Angela all on my own. It was hard at times, still is, but I’m determined not to have anyone help me. Especially her no-good, coward father!"

"Then why did you come here, Natalie? Three days before my wedding? To ruin my life?"

"Could it be any worse than what you did to me?" Natalie asked. "I don’t know…maybe I wanted closure. Maybe I thought that your new wife should know that you have an illigetimate child in the States that you don’t want to acknowledge. Anyway, that’s all I came for. To let you know that I’m alive and so is your child and we’re doing fine without you. Enjoy your life."

With that, Natalie turned and walked out of the room. Chelsea stood there looking at Kevin who looked like a man about to lose everything.

"Chelsea…luv…please….say something? Anything?"

Chelsea thought of the last two years with this man. She thought of all the plans she had made that would come to fruition in three days. She thought of all the people behind her, silent, staring, dying to know what went on.

"Chelsea, please!" Kevin pleaded.

Chelsea’s eyes immediately went to Sav and stayed there as she slipped her engagment ring off and placed it in Kevin’s hand.

"Goodbye, Kevin."

23

Kevin stood in the roomful of people, blindly holding Chelsea’s engagment ring in his hand, wondering how this all turned into a nightmare. Yeah, he knew what he did to Natalie was wrong, but, well…he was scared at the time.

However, that wasn’t a good enough excuse.

Sav was the first one to Kevin to find out all that happened. As Kevin relayed the conversation, Sav’s expression changed from shock, that Kevin had a secret daughter, to anger, that he never acknowledged her, back to shock, that Chelsea had called off the wedding because of it. Kevin was to stunned to even go after her, giving into the fact that they wouldn’t be getting married.

The blood in Savs face suddenly drained when he realized the last part.

Sav looked heavenward as if to see if someone was looking over him. Without thinking, he left Kevin where he was, too disgusted with his past behavior to even be around him, and went to look for Chelsea. Since she and Kevin came together, it was obvious that she still may be outside somewhere, without a ride.

When he didn’t see a sign of her, he noticed a woman sitting at the steering wheel of her cry, her face in her hands, crying. It was the woman who confronted Kevin. Natalie. Sav went over to see if she was okay and knocked on the window.

Natalie jumped at the sound and turned towards the window to see Sav mouth ‘ are you alright’. She unrolled the window.

"Yes…yes, I’m fine. I’m…I’m sorry for what happened in there. I just….excuse me…oh, God, yes….you’re Rick Savage of Def Leppard. They told me that you were Kevin’s cousin, now."

"Yes, we are. And, yes, I am. But, nevermind about me…are you sure you’re okay?"

"Yeah, I will be. As good as it felt to do that, I…I know feel bad. I saw Chelsea storm out of the restaurant while I was sitting in my car. She got into a taxi right away. Something tells me that things aren’t good between her and Kevin."

"No, they’re not. She gave him her engagement ring back. I’m assuming this wedding will not be taking place in three days."

"Rick..I didn’t mean to hurt her. I don’t even know her. But Kevin…oh, I don’t know, maybe she’s better off without him. Then again, who am I to judge. All I know is that I’m better off without him, as tough as its been."

"Being a single mom, you mean?"

"Yes, its been very hard. As much as I’ve been advised to get a lawyer and go after Kevin for child support, I…I just don’t want to be bothered. His leaving the way he did told me that he, in no way, wanted to be part of my life or Angela’s."

"Angela?"

"Our daughter. That’s what I named her. Here’s her picture."

Natalie proudly showed Rick a picture of the hazel-eyed, light browned hair angel.

Angel. Angela.

"My angel of mercy!" Sav thought.

"Just a moment."

Sav left Natalie to go to his car. He sat in the front seat a moment, got out and walked back to Natalie and handed her something.

"For your daughter. For being the answer to my prayers."

With that, Sav left, got in his car and went in search of Chelsea.

Natalie sniffed and looked down at what Sav gave her. Her eyeballs practically fell out of their sockets at the sight of a check made out to cash for twenty thousand dollars.

24

Chelsea fled the taxi into the safety of her flat, the shock of what she just discovered causing her entire body to tremble.

It wasn’t so much what she found out – she could deal with Kevin having a child with another woman if he had been honest about it and, not to mention, took responsibility for it. What shook her so much was the realization that, if Natalie hadn’t walked in and dropped this bomb on her, she’d be tied to a sneaky, irresponsible man for the rest of her life.

She was looking for a viable excuse to get out of this wedding and one was dropped in her lap on a silver platter. However, she did feel sorry for Kevin. She knew that he loved her and was obviously distressed over the fact that he’d lost her. But he had no one to blame but himself. She knew that she’d talk with him at some point over the next few days, but she would stand firm. If anything, she was gonna encourage him to take responsibility for his daughter. It’s the least he could do considering that he took off without a word.

She stripped off her clothes and washed away this awful evening under the hottest shower she could stand, the heat making her very drowsy. Her mind wandered to Sav’s face as she took her engagement ring off and handed it back to Kevin. He almost looked – relieved. Why, she had no idea. She thought he liked Kevin.

Those haunting words that Sav drunkenly muttered to her almost three years ago still baffled her mind. Could he possibly…? Now that they were both free there was an opportunity to find out.

Those words, that New Years Eve kiss, their tender embrace the night of her engagement party – could this be an indication of possible feelings he had for her?

"Chels, you just called off your wedding three days before and his wife just asked for a separation. The only reason you’ll jump in one another’s arms is out of lonliness and rebounding," she told herself.

As much as she loved him, still loves him, she would not make herself available to him, or any man, just to assuade an ache. She already did that with Kevin on New Years Eve, as she lay beneath him, writhing in ecstasy as she thought of Sav. And, in turn, she would not be his comfort toy to make up for all the neglect Dara inflicted on him.

Then again, to have one, passionate, memorable night with him, if that’s what was all she would have, would be worth a lifetime of heartache without him. She would always have that memory. But, would it really sustain her?

She got out of the shower, dried herself, her hair and threw on her soft, floral printed robe. No sooner than she tied the belt, her doorbell rang.

She had a feeling that Kevin would come after her. She had to face the music sooner or later. Not seeing a need to put any clothes on, since Kevin had seen all that she had, she padded barefoot, in her robe, to the front door and opened it.

And almost collapsed at the gorgeous sight of Sav.

She clutched the opening of her robe by her chest together as she watched his beautiful blue eyes trail the length of her. She was naked under her robe and was wondering if he knew that too.

"Rick…what are you doing here?"

Sav’s eyes snapped away from her tiny, belted waist to her bewildered eyes. He felt his heart begin to beat a little more furiously when he noticed her slightly, erect nipples under her robe and instantly knew that she had nothing on under that robe. The erotic sight caused him to painfully stiffen.

"Cheslea, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come over here like this. But, when I saw you leave like that, I knew something was wrong. Kevin told me what happened. I left right afterward, totally disgusted with him. I…I wanted to see if you were alright."

"I..I thought you were him coming to beg me back, but I guess I mis-judged him, although I’m sure I’ll be hearing from him soon."

"If you ask me, I don’t think he can face you right now. I can’t believe what that wanker did to that woman and his daughter. I saw her picture, there’s no denying she’s his daughter."

Chelsea stepped back into her flat as Sav walked around to sit on the couch. Her living room seemed to shrink now that he was in the room.

"When did you see her picture?"

"Well, after I left Kevin, I went out in the parking lot looking for you. I saw the woman crying in her car. I went to see if she was alright. She told me that she saw you get in a taxi and that she was sorry for all that happened. She never meant for it to get like this but she was really burned by what Kevin did to her. She’s real proud too, not wanting any money from Kevin, although she said its been hard."

"I’m sure it is, raising a child all by herself. Hopefully, she’ll meet someone who’ll accept her and her daughter."

"Chelsea, be honest with me. Are you really okay?"

She couldn’t lie. "Yes, Rick…I am. I hate to confess this, but I was having doubts about getting married to Kevin all along."

Sav’s eyebrows went up. "Oh?"

"I, I don’t know why," Chelsea lied. "I just…I don’t know, I just…."

"Didn’t love him," Sav finished for her.

"What?" Chelsea was incredulous.

"Chelsea, you didn’t love him. Am I right?"

Chelsea lowered her head in shame. "Was it that noticible?"

"A little. I guess I never saw any sparks between you two. Probably….probably because you’re in love with someone else."

Sav took a huge chance by saying that and almost regretted it when he saw Chelsea’s horrified look.

"W..w…what do you mean?" Chelsea stammered. "W..w.who else could there be? I..I..I’ve been with Kevin for two years."

Sav stood up, took off his glasses, threw them on the coffee table and slowly stalked her.

"Oh, I don’t know, Chelsea. You tell me?"

"Th..th..there isn’t anyone else, Rick," she lied.

"Hmmm, are you sure," he whispered in a sultry tone as he continued to walk towards her, causing her to walk backwards.

"I..I..I’m sure," she, yet again, lied.

"Not even someone who would throw his entire life and career away to move back to Sheffield to work in a run down factory? Someone that you’d follow ‘to the ends of the earth’."

Chelsea thought she was gonna pass out. "Oh my God!" she breathlessly exclaimed. How did you….how…" her eyes suddenly narrowed, "Joe!"

"No, luv…Joe didn’t tell me anything. After you left my house that day, I was very upset over how I treated you. I had to get out of the house so I decided to go to Joe’s. I saw your car there. I didn’t know why you’d be there, but I saw an opportunity to apologize. When I came around the back, I heard you through the open slider. I heard all that you said. About me. About loving me. About always loving me."

Chelsea’s back was flat against the archway that led to her bedroom, Sav looming tall and gorgeous above her. "He knows, oh my God, he knows," she thought to herself. "Oh, I feel so stupid!"

Shamed, she looked away, unable to, for once, look at that beautiful face of his. Sav lifted a finger, placed it under her chin and faced her back to him. She had tears in her eyes.

"Chelsea…luv, did you mean what you said? Is this true? Do you love me? Not, Sav…but Rick? Me, Chelsea, this man that you see with the devestated face and a shattered heart, not the rich, famous rock star? Do you, luv?"

Chelsea couldn’t stand it anymore. Nor could she lie. Her heart was out on her sleeve for all to see.

"Yes," she said in a whispered tremble. "Oh, God Rick…yes! You have no idea how much. It hurt to see you marry Dara and it hurt even more to see what she did to you when you needed her the most. I couldn’t take it, not being able to comfort you the way my heart wanted to. Yes, Rick, its true. I meant all that I said. I’d love you if you were a nobody. Even if you weren’t Sav, I’d still love you because you’ll always be Rick. That’s all I’ve ever seen you as. I don’t care who you are or what you do or how much you have. All I know is how I can’t stop my heart from jumping out of my chest whenever you walk in the room, no matter what you look like, which I think is absolutley beautiful."

That was all Sav needed to hear. His arms went about her waist as his mouth captured hers in a wicked hot kiss of desperation that seemed to burn away every ounce of pain and torment that he had suffered these last two years.

25

Chelsea matched his passion instantaneously as she wound her arms around his neck, reveling in the feel of those lips that stayed etched in her brain since New Years Eve, 1994. Their tongues wasted no time on searching the silky, wet textures of each others mouths as Sav’s hands began to explore the long, line of her slender back through the thin robe.

He suddenly remembered her being naked under that robe. He was now fully erect to the point of pain and, without thinking, brushed his erection against her hip.

Chelsea caught on and exposed a long, silky leg from between her robe and wedged her thigh between his legs, the sensation and shock of what she did caused Sav to growl deep in her throat.

Chelsea smiled to herself, knowing that that move pleased him and ground her thigh into the hardness behind the fly of his trousers. Sav was out of control with want as his hands wandered down her back to grasp her firm little bum, caressing the firm lush shape through her robe.

There was no doubt where this evening was going and Chelsea was prepared to go all the way – no matter the consequences afterwards. She loved this man and that was that!

She slid her hands down from his neck and began to unbutton his shirt. As his chest was exposed, she broke the kiss to run her hungry mouth all over it, groaning with pleasure after having fantasized about doing that, especially after all the concerts she’d seen him perform with his chest all exposed and glistening with sweat. The reality of the skin of his lean, lightly muscled chest against her lips surpassed any fantasy she could have. Except for the fantasy about running her tongue down that trail of hair that went from his belly button to his…..

Later!

Sav threw his head back and groaned his own pleasure and the feel of Chelsea’s beautiful, full lips on his body. He didn’t know how much more he was gonna be able to take of this standing up. He brought his head back to see that she lifted hers as well to look at the passion in his eyes.

And those eyes of his nearly bulged.

Chelsea’s robe had parted and her beautiful, round breasts were exposed. Her fully, erect nipples just begged for his mouth and he wasted no time.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her against the wall as he slid down her body and fastened his starving mouth to her nipple.

"Jesus, God…Rick!" Chelsea cried out.

Sav suckled one nipple while his talented fingers toyed with the other. Chelsea threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled in her mix of pleasure and pain.

She pulled his head back, causing the warm contact of his mouth to leave her breast.

Sav looked up at her, his mouth parted and wet from suckling her, his blue eyes shining with passion. He took in Chelsea’s beautiful, trembling face, knowing that he brought her to that point, which aroused his body so much that her mere touch was gonna push him over the edge.

"Rick," she whispered hoarsly, his name nothing more than a sigh that escaped her beautiful lips.

Sav wasted no time. He effortlessly picked her up, carried her to her bedroom and threw her in the center of the bed. His want for her was too great for him to go slow. And, judging from Chelsea’s response, she was just as hot for him.

He immediately parted her robe and almost lost himself in trousers at the gorgeous sight of her nakesdbody.

Chelsea laid there, drinking in the look on Sav’s face as his eyes and hands lovingly caressed her body and never felt more beautiful in her life. She would do anything for this man. Anything.

And she wanted to do it now.

She sat up and put her arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. As she did, she slipped one hand down and between them to finish unbuttoning his shirt and ridding him of it.

When her hands ran up and down his smooth, long back she sighed at the feel even as Sav groaned at the feel of his naked chest pressed against her full, lucious breasts.

She then surprised him by flipping him on his back, never breaking the kiss, while one hand trailed down to undo his belt. She felt Sav smile against her lips before letting out a whimper of sheer pleasure when she trailed her finger tips ever so slowly along the length of his rock hard erection.

Not wanting to tease him further, she quickly had him unbuttoned and unzipped before breaking the kiss to slowly descend her lips down his gloriously lean body.

Sav brought his arms up by his head in a show of surrender as he closed his eyes in bliss as he prepared for the incredible sensation that was to come.

Chelsea took her time assaulting Sav’s chest and torso with her lips, teeth and tongue. As she reached the waist of his trousers, a wicked gleam appeared in her eyes when she saw that damn sexy trail of hair.

"Oh, baby," she whispered to him as she lightly ran a finger up and down it. "You don’t know how much this little trail her turns me on. Do you know how many times I fantasized about running my tongue up and down it."

All Sav could do was answer her with a groan that all but begged her to do it. She lowered her head and ran the silky, wet tip of her tongue from his navel, all the way down that hair trail until she was achingly close to his erection, then back up again. She did it several more times to appease her fantasy until she decided to move on.

She grabbed the waist of his trousers with both hands and tugged down. Sav lifted his body off the bed to aid her as his breathing became more rapid the more she kept him hanging on.

She stared at his fully erect manhood and gasped before closing her hand firmly about it.

His pleadings caused her to caress him with a little more boldness. She then remembered an article she read in Cosmo about a very sensitive spot on a man. It was a soft little spot directly underneath his testicles. When stimulated, she read that it could cause almost instant ejaculation. She wondered what running the tip of her tongue back and forth over it would do.

She didn’t hesitate to find out. She lowered her head, moistened the tip of her tongue, and flicked it back and forth over that tender spot.

"OH MY GOD!," Sav shouted. "Chelsea…oh God…what are you doing to me? Girl, don’t stop! Damn, that feels…..Christ, Chelsea stop! Lass, I’m gonna come!"

When Chelsea didn’t stop, wanting to bring him to that point, Sav sat up, took her by the shoulders and flipped her on her back. She looked up at him in bewilderement.

Sav thought that Chelsea didn’t think that they’d be together after this – that all this was were two, lonely, abandoned people needing each other now.

But this wasn’t a one night stand. He knew what tomorrow would bring. Hopefully, he’d be deep inside Chelsea again when it arrived.

Chelsea parted her legs and wrapped them around his lean torso. Sav put a hand under her lower back and lifted her higher, poking the head of his erection at her slick, hot opening. As she raised up, he plunged in, the sensation almost breaking the both of them in two.

"Yes," she murmured. "Oh, God yes. That’s it. That’s how I fantasized how it would feel. Oh, baby, move, please. I’ve thought about this so much. Even when Kevin made love to me, I’d close my eyes and pretend it was you. It was always you, Rick…always you."

Sav arrogantly smiled at her words as he mindlessly began to thrust hard and deep in and out her. He knew it. He knew that she had thought of him. Ever since Kevin told him of their New Years Eve coupling on the couch while watching concert clips of the Don Valley show, he had a feeling he was the reason for her amorous state.

Chelsea was both humbled and turned on to the max thinking about Sav pleasuring himself while thinking of her. It caused her to unleash herself upon him as her climax started to grow.

She ran her nails up and down his back and she thrust upward and he thrust downward.

"More…more baby," she begged. "Harder and deeper…please, Rick..I’m so close…so damn close. Please, deeper if you can!"

Her words were starting to undo him. He wickedly grinned as he decided to accommodate her. He took one of her legs and flung it over his shoulder, the tilt of her pelvis causing him to slam against her womb.

Chelsea threw her head back and screamed her body wracking orgasm. She felt her eyes roll back and every ounce of air leave her lungs.

Sav slammed into her two more times before releasing his hot fluid deep inside her. He kept up his thrusting as his erection pulsed and throbbed around her contracting walls.

Completely sated from their frenzied loving, Sav gingerly laid on top of her before rolling onto his back, taking her with him.

They laid there, their heads turned away from one another, catching their breath and slowing their heartbeats.

"Are you okay, luv?"

Chelsea turned her head and looked at the beautiful look at satisfied passion on his face. "Yes," she thought to herself. "This is how he’s meant to look – a gorgeous, sexy man who’s face is filled with a look of satisfaction, not broken hearted and depressed, ready to give up on everything. This is what he deserves – to be loved."

"Never better, baby. I’ve wanted this for so long that I didn’t care what the consequences would be."

"Consequences? What do you mean?"

"Rick, its obvious that we’ve had a mutual attraction to each other all along. Because of what happened, you know, your separation and my botched wedding, I just…I don’t know, wonder if this was just us giving into the moment of weakness. I..I know that there’s a possiblilty that nothing can come of this."

"What do you mean ‘nothing can come of this’?"

"Rick, you just got separated. You’re releasing an album in 5 months and will be going on tour after that. I’m sure the last thing you need right now is a relationship when you just got over the collapse of you marriage."

Sav took her head in his hands. "You’re wrong, lass. Its exactly what I need. You are what I need. And not just now to satisfy my lust for you. I need you now, tomorrow and for however long you’ll wait for me."

"Rick, are you just saying that? Are you sure? Cuz, like I said, I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you’d allow me."

"Then follow me on tour next year."

Chelsea’s eyes widened. "Rick…I’d have to quit my job to do that. Even as your PR, they wouldn’t allow me to travel non-stop with you."

"Chelsea, even though you said you’d follow me to the ends of the earth, I’m not gonna hold you to it. But, if you’re looking for proof that what happened was not a one night stand, then that’s it."

Chelsea could only gape at him, not believing how much her life had changed in the course of one evening.

"Listen to me, luv. Dara and I just signed the separation papers. I’m staying here in Dublin until I get her a smaller place of her own so I can get back in my house. Then I’ve got four years of waiting hell ahead of me, but I have no choice. I don’t expect you to wait four years of your life for me, but, if you decided to, I won’t make you regret it. I promise."

Chelsea smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips. "I’d do anything for you, Rick. Even wait. A promise is a promise. I said I’d follow you anywhere and I will."

"Does this mean you’ll come on tour with me next year?"

"Yes, I will. I’ll be by your side the whole way."

Sav smiled deeply.

"What?"

"Oh, just thinking to the line from ‘That’s What Friends Are For’…you know, the part that goes…’I’ll be on your side forevermore…..’" he sang.

"That’s what friends are for," Chelsea sang back.

"I guess were a little friendlier now than we were two years ago."

"Mmmm, a tad bit, I’d say," she giggled.

"Tell me then, are we friendlier enough for you to come on that God-awful one day, three continent tour with me?"

"Hmm, I don’t know. I may need some incentive for that."

Sav smiled beautifully and spread his arms out on the bed. "I’m open for suggestions."

"Hmmm, lets see," Chelsea crooned as her hand slid down his body to find his erection beginning to grow again. "Oooooh, yeah, that’s good, baby. I’m not done with you yet. You’ve got a lot of fantasies of mine to satisfy."

Sav wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down to him.

"I’ll do anything you want, luv. Isn’t that what friends are for?"