Hmm....... let's begin.
10) Those dumb thugs that always wear the same baggy pants every day and wear hoods over their heads. A solid kick in the nuts works great on them, I've found.
9) Those morons who have really old, long cars and leave all their windows down and TURN UP THE NEWEST CRAPPY RAP ALBUM ALL THE WAY. Typically, these people also wear white pantyhose things on their heads. I guess that makes them cool. Right, degenerates?
8) Smelly houses. I mean, seriously. What the hell? I'm your guest and you invite me over to eat dinner. Ok. Fine. I expect the smell of someting good, instead, I get a combination of the following:
-feet
-jock socks
-old apples
Gross. And you wonder why I don't leave my house.
7) Ebonics. You people who know me fairly well knew this would be on the list. Utterly stupid. last time someone spoke ebonics to me I mimicked him and made him look stupid.
"Who be dem foos who be readin dis page yo?"
6) Those little dogs that ALWAYS yap at you no matter what. I'm so mad at the one across the street I'm going to try to eat it next time I see it.
5) People that go 35 on the freeway. Speaks for itself. Especially those old people in the cadillacs that haven't had a smog check in 30 years. Want to go 30 MPH? Then drive ON THE SIDEROADS, FOOLS.
4) Those people who want the Pledge of Alliegance to remove the phrase "under god". Why don't we all complain about this phrase, because it has "Under God" in it, despite the fact that it's not mandatory to recite! Ooh! Great idea! Now let's make it look like I'm helping someone, not taking money from the government to satisfy me and my greedy wife who have lost the lottery 573 consecutive times and need money so we sue the government about a Pledge not mandatory to recite! Brilliant! I don't even think for a second anyone will catch on!
3) Those people that say "guns are bad". Guns are bad because.... it's bad to protect your wife from becoming a victim? From your kid being abducted? Anyways, guns dont kill people, people kill people.
2) That music on 1-800-COLLECT. Almost as bad as that music they play in grocery stores. Like a tapping noise and a saxophone with half the buttons missing. I need to introduce 1-800-COLLECT to AC/DC.
And number one spot goes to .....*drumroll please*.
1) DANCING. I HATE DANCING. Is anyone else discontent with looking like a doddering oaf while a bunch of pinheads look on in amazement and say "whoa that was a PHAT move, show me how to C-walk blooood"? There is this one kid who breakdances during my PE class, I remember his name but am too lazy to type it. One day when he hurt his wrist in soccer, I was happy because I didn't have to see him spinning on his head like a moron. I can't remember any time when I was that happy since I chased thugs down my street with shovels, and they couldn't run too well with constantly having to pull up their pants.
Ahhh, that was a good write. I hope to update more frequently now.