Account 1:

Shhhiiittt, it all started back about 2 years ago on July 4th,2004. I wish sippin my crys when all of a sudden a heard a loud, bubbling sound in the lake in front of me. At first i thought "Shit, my homie is getting some hot,dark chocolate lovin under water. I sure as hell havnt tried that 1 yet!" when i realized i was da only one by da lake! then this motha fuckin creature popped out of the lake and stole my damn crys and my sack of dank! So i busted out my glock and lit that mu fucka up! He got shot 9 times! But that damn foo got away wit my shit and 9 holes in his weird ass. I found your website and knew i had to spread my story wit you guys. G-G-G-G*Unit!

Account 2:

It was a dreary, overcast Thursday night, and I had just arrived home from my bowling league. I was just about to open my trailer door when I heard a rustlin' down in the lagoon just behind my residence. Of course you all know what I first thought it was: them no-good, goddam, big nose havin,' ghetto-ass gangsters. But it turns out it wasn't them. Now, I've had some past experiences with swamp monsters, but this one, in particular, stands out in my mind. I walked down the slope to that damn creature's abode, when all of a sudden I saw the most hideous and vile swamp monster that these old eyes have ever seen. This bitch was fuckin ginormous. My first instinct was to run, but as I was turning away, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. That beast was just chillin' on a Colt 45. At that point, I could tell that we had similar interests, so I walked over there, and we just laughed and talked of memories past until the sun came up. The End