Three men were trekking through the desert and came
across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician
than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach
the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink. The first
man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The
second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in
a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''
Why don't witches wear panties?
Better grip on the broom.
747
What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone's been in a 747!
Poor Old Man
This old man goes to the doctor's. "Help, Doc. I just
got married to this 21 year old woman. She is hot and all she wants to do is
have sex all day long." "So what's the problem?" "I can't remember where I live."
Rebel-rousing Nuns
There are three nuns in a sanctuary who are about to
go out into the real world for the first time. About a month after they've all
left, one of the nuns comes back to the priest and says, " Father ive sinned,"
The priest asks, "How?" She says, " Ive stolen from a store." He replies, "Drink
this holy water and your sins shall be washed away." So she drinks the water
and leaves. The next day the second nun comes in and says, " Father, I have
sinned." So the priest asks, "How?" She answers, "I had sex." So he says, "Drink
the holy water and your sins shall be washed away." She drinks the water and
leaves. The third nun walks in laughing hysterically, and says, " Father, I
have sinned." He asks, "How?" She replies, "I peed in the holy water."
Potato in the Pants
James was on the beach, and could not understand why
Bob had attracted all the girls, while he had no luck. So he asked Rich "why
do you get all the girls and I get nothing?" Bob replied "take a potato and
tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!" So James stuffed
a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later,
he still had no woman. James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the
potato and it doesn't work!" Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried
putting the potato in the front?"
I feel like chicken tonight
Why did George Bush cross the road?
Beause his penis was stuck in the chicken!
