Updated 9/11/00
(important: these wavs are for entertainment purposes only!!!)
All of the wavs in my library are 35k or smaller, which makes them perfect for event sounds and chat.
They are formatted at - PCM 11,025 Hz, 8 Bit, Mono -
If you find any broken links or spelling errors please e-mail me and I will fix it as soon as possible! :)
WARNING: Some of these wavs may be offensive! You have been warned...

E-mail me if you have a wav request or wavs you think should be in my library. Thanx!!!

# A B

1_left - 20k - male with echo "Only one left."
10kisses - 35k - 10 kisses
10secs - 34k - 'The Ref', Kevin Spacey "Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up for ten seconds?"
12gauge - 27k - a gunshot
13gh - 35k - male "You can take my word for it. There are ghosts in this house."
14inches - 28k - Christian Slater "My penis is 14 inches long."
15things - 27k - Commander Ivanova from Babylon 5 "Excuse me, but I'm in the middle of fifteen things, all of them annoying."
1-800 - 31k - female "I suggest you dial 1-800-Get-Your-Own-Man."
1800bite - 18k - male "call 1-800-BITE ME."
1friend - 33k - male "Hey, check it out, man. Here comes one of your friends."
1morewrd - 25k - Brain? (with echo) "One more word out of you and you go, is that clear?"
1ofdays - 28k - male "Just one of those days I guess."
1sickpup - 33k - female "You are one sick puppy. Gotta love it."
20questn - 20k - male "What is this? 20 questions??"
2beers - 27k - from 'Horsefeathers', Groucho "Two beers, bartender." Chico "I'll take two beers, too."
2bfamous - 22k - from South Park, Cartman "I'm going to be totally famous."
2deserve - 33k - from Beverly Hillbillies, Granny "What have I done to deserve this?"
2dollars - 30k - from Better off Dead, kid "I want my two dollars!"
2ethical - 25k - Johnny Bravo "Now ain't that like, being too ethical?"
2getoff - 14k - from South Park "But I have to get off!"
2helwith - 18k - female? "To hell with both of you."
2hitbang - 33k - cartoon noises
2hours - 35k - Star Trek computer "Requested function will require two hours to complete."
2muchtea - 26k - from Toystory, Woody "I think you had enough tea for today."
2myface - 34k - male "Hey man, you know I'm right here. You can say that shit to my face."
2ping - 27k - from Monty Python, John Cleese "and uh get the machine that goes 'T-ping!'"
2upsetu - 24k - male "Whatever I said to upset you I'm really sorry."
30cal - 25k - gunfire
30yr-old - 26k - Tom Hanks from Big "I'm gonna be 30 years old for the rest of my life."
3chimes - 8k - ting-ting-ting
3s-nyuk - 16k - 3 Stooges "Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk."
3steps - 27k - male "You would need three promotions to get to be an asshol.e"
3stooges - 28k - Agent Mulder "Really not in the mood for the 3 stooges."
44mag - 22k - rapid gunfire
515broom - 25k - Fred Flintstone "On the 5:15 broom."
5min - 35k - Jim Carrey "If I'm not back in 5 minutes... just wait longer."
6minspan - 33k - Daffy Duck "Us oldtimers only have a 6 minute attention span."
6packsex - 31k - Peg Bundy "So I guess were about a 6 pack short of sex, huh?"
7-words - 29k - George Carlin. the seven words you aren't allowed to say in chat?
8dogbrk - 7k - No it's not 8 dogs barking. It's 1 dog barking, and it sounds alot like Lassie.
9oclock - 25k - Angelica from Rugrats "Sometimes I stay up til 9 o'clock."

A back to the top
abadgirl - 12k - female "I'm a bad girl."
abby - 35k - from 'Young Frankenstein', Gene Wilder "Abby who?" Marty Feldman "Abby Normal."
aboutdie - 24k - male "What's it like knowing you're about to die?"
aboutime - 13k - silly male "It's about time."
abutalk - 18k - from Aladdin, Abu 'talking'
abuwhine - 17k - from Aladdin, Abu 'whining'
accepted - 21k - Darth Vader "Apology accepted."
accused - 30k - Jack Nicholson "Well I've been accused of a lot of things before, but never that."
acelaugh - 25k - Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura
achtung - 29k - from Hogan's Heroes, Sgt. Schultz "ACHTUNG!" Carter "And a good morning to you too, Schultz."
ack - 19k - silly "Ack!"
acrap - 33k - MST3K "I give not a crap for thee."
action - 12k - from Toy Story "We must take action."
adios - 35k - male "Adios muchachos!"
adjournd - 17k - from Judge Dredd "Court's adjourned."
admirer - 31k - Tweety "Well, what do you know. I got a an admirer."
affair - 27k - sound clip from Current Affair
afk - 16k - Wakko Warner "Potty Emergency!"
a-genius - 11k - Rockhound from Armageddon "Because I'm a genius."
agesexck - 28k - male "Sorry pal. Those checks bounce in here."
ag-ugly - 25k - From American Graffiti, Paul LeMat "Why is it every girl that comes around here is ugly?"
a-gun - 20k - Bruce Willis from Armageddon "What are you doing with a gun in space?"
aheadwrp - 12k - Star Trek, Kirk "Ahead warp factor 2."
ahem - 8k - male "Ahem."
ahem1 - 10k - "ahem."
ahh - 15k - Beavis "Ahh! He's trying to touch my weiner."
ahhhhh - 19k - Sam Kinison trademark scream "ahhhh!"
ahoo - 16k - Daffy Duck "Ahoohoohoo!"
ahuman - 12k - from The Honeymooners, Alice "A human being."
ahwomen - 29k - from Mars Attacks! "Ahh, women!"
aint_bag - 23k - Austin Powers "This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby."
ainteasy - 25k - the Beatles "Christ, you know it ain't easy."
airbags - 18k - from MST3K "Looks like this movie is equipped with airbags."
airsick - 30k - from Independence Day, Judd Hirsch "It's Air Force One for crying out loud. Still he gets sick."
ajerk - 13k - Johnny Bravo "What a jerk."
aladdin2 - 10k - from Aladdin, Genie "Aladdin."
aletter - 34k - Bugs Bunny "What's this? A letter? For me?"
alibi - 22k - male "Well that has alibi written all over it."
alien1 - 31k - from Aliens movie, alien breathing
alienlif - 27k - computer "Alien life form on board."
a-little - 24k - male "Do you think that's a little strange?"
alive - 29k - from 'Bride of Frankenstein', Colin Clive "She's alive... Alive!"
alldead - 27k - female with echo "Everyone is dead."
alliwant - 32k - Alvin the Chipmunk "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth."
allnaked - 35k - male "He was all naked and rarin' to go."
allwrong - 29k - Foghorn Leghorn "Nonono, you're doing it all wrong."
alone - 18k - male "Spends alot of time alone."
alot - 19k - male "Well, 'a lot' is my favorite number."
alrighty - 21k - Ace Ventura "Alrighty then."
amibad - 21k - from Homeward Bound, Sally Field as Sassy the cat "Am I bad? ooh yes."
amongst - 14k - Mike Meyers as Linda Richman from Saturday Night Live, "Talk amongst yourselves."
ancestrs - 30k - from Family Guy, Peter "Your ancestors were nothing but a bunch of pimps and whores."
and-now - 24k - John Cleese from Monty Python "And now for something completely different."
angels - 30k - from a Star Trek movie, McCoy "Angels and ministers of grace defend us."
anifun - 14k - Yakko Warner "Are we having fun yet?"
annoy - 21k - Bugs Bunny "This man's annoying me."
annoying - 22k - Jerry Seinfeld "Ah, this is really annoying."
anoise - 27k - my bro-in-law made this one! "Hey, you in the attic. Keep the noise down up there."
answer - 31k - male "Don't change the subject, just answer the fuckin question."
anybettr - 26k - male "Yep, it doesn't get any better than this."
anybody - 16k - Home Improvement, Tim "Anybody can do it." Al "And you should know."
anyday - 12k - Johnny Bravo "Any day now, mama."
anydrink - 10k - male "Drinks anyone?"
anyidea - 26k - male "Do you have any idea what would happen if you stay here with me?"
anytea - 15k - from 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy', Arthur Dent "Is there any tea on this spaceship?"
anythis - 18k - Foghorn Leghorn "Any of this getting thru to you, son?"
anywomen - 17k - male "Are there any women here today?"
aol_life - 35k - female "You again, don't you have a life?"
aolbroke - 35k - male "I'm sorry, the function you requested is not currently available."
apoint - 28k - old guys on The Muppet Show "He's got a point there." "Yeah, on his head!"
apology - 28k - silly male "I don't know what could have come over me, sir."
apology3 - 26k - male "Oh, why don't you suck your apology out of my dick."
applause - 16k - a small applause
a-problm - 15k - male "Houston, you have a problem."
areunuts - 10k - Daffy Duck "Are you nuts?"
argument - 18k - Monty Python's Michael Palin "Is this the right room for the argument?"
arived4 - 22k - male "What.. Have we arrived? Oh good. Where?"
arrarr - 12k - Tim Allen's grunt
arrow - 13k - sound of an arrow hitting a target
artist - 27k - from History of the World Part 1, Bea Arthur "Oh, a bullshit artist."
ashamed - 28k - from Wizard of Oz, Dorothy "You oughta be ashamed of yourself!"
asif - 15k - from 'Clueless', Alicia Silverstone "Uh! As if!"
asknice - 22k - Jack Nicholson "You have to ask me nicely."
asnert - 28k - silly "Oh no, a snert!" Snotty-Nosed Egotistical Rotten Teenager
aspirin - 13k - silly male "Where's my aspirin?"
ass4real - 22k - male "You really are a fucking asshole."
assholes - 33k - Jim Carrey "Warning, assholes are closer than they appear."
asshurts - 18k - Billy Crystal "My ass hurts just watching this."
assim - 14k - from Star Trek, Worf "Assimilate this."
assist - 16k - silly male "Do you need assistance?"
asskckd - 35k - female "Somebody ought to get their ass kicked for this mess, that's for sure."
asskickn - 24k - male "I do the asskicking around here!"
assmunch - 11k - Butthead "Assmunch"
atagain - 17k - from Toy Story, Rex "He's at it again!"
atfirst - 33k - from MST3K "Seemed like a nice guy." trio "At first!"
at-once 26k - male "I advise you to leave this room at once."
att - 18k - female "You're not dealing with AT&T."
attcfall - 34k - falling out of the attic
attentn - 16k - male "Your attention please."
attentnf - 15k - female "Prodigy needs your attention."
attic3 - 28k - John Lithgow from 3rd Rock "Come out, come out"
attitude - 31k - Debra Jo Rupp as Kitty Foreman on That 70's Show "Yes you're right, I need to work on my attitude. Bye then!"
atyoukid - 16k - Bogey "Here's looking at you, kid."
augah - 19k - old fashioned car horn
aussie - 11k - from beer commercial "Australian."
autoshut - 31k - Star Trek computer "Auto shutdown sequence in progress."
awakened - 31k - scary male "I have awakened."
awman - 13k - male "Aw man."
awrongb - 19k - silly male "Uh, wrong button."
awww - 21k - crowd "Awwwwwwww."

B back to the top
baa - 7k - And the sheep says...
baboon - 33k - from Lion King, Rafiki "It means you're a baboon, and I'm not."
baby - 26k - sexy male "Ooh baby, the things I'd do to you."
back - 21k - male "I'm back. Thank you for your patience."
backoff - 14k - Sounds like an angry black female. "Back off Jack."
badayhug - 21k - female "I'm having a bad day. Can I have a hug?"
badgirl - 25k - remix, female "I'm a bad girl." (whip) "Ooh."
badhair - 26k - female "You're obviously having a bad hair day."
badword - 30k - child "Ahh! You said a bad word!"
bagopuke - 28k - from Throw Momma from the Train, momma "That miserable little bag of puke."
balls - 17k - Jim Carrey whispering "Your balls are showing."
bamboom - 28k - from the song
banned - 8k - male "You're banned."
barnum - 26k - Agent Scully "Do you recall what Barnum said about suckers?"
barryman - 28k - Judd Hirch "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"
bashful - 18k - Daffy Duck "Come on now, don't be bashful."
bathroom - 25k - male "Yo... where's the bathroom around here?"
battlecry - 14k - male "For God and country!"
bbcanhug - 24k - Butthead "Uhh can I have a hug?"
bbdammit - 14k - Beavis "Dammit, Dammit, Son of a bitch."
bbgday - 26k - Butthead "This is the greatest day of our lives."
bblaugh - 33k - Beavis and Butthead laughing
bbsluts - 26k - Beavis and Butthead "I didn't know this town had so many sluts."
bc - 33k - scary male "You're an inspiration for birth control."
bcnu1 - 8k - male "Be seeing you."
beajerk - 22k - from Ghostbusters, Bill Murray "My friend, don't be a jerk."
bealaff - 15k - Beavis laffing
beam - 12k - Kirk "Scotty, beam me up."
beamup - 18k - from Armageddon, Rockhound "Beam me up, Scotty."
bear - 30k - a bear noise
beatings - 34k - the whipping of Sam Kinison
beatme - 31k - male "Beat me, kick me, I am yours."
beatya - 21k - female "Beat ya!" and a silly noise
bebad - 20k - Stewie from 'Family Guy' "Time to be bad."
beblunt 27k - from 'Payback', James Coburn "If I may be so blunt... who gives a shit."
bedroom - 32k - Sigourney Weaver from Ghostbusters "That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there."
beef - 12k - Clara from old Wendy's commercial "Where's the beef!"
beepbeep - 9k - the roadrunner
beerswty - 16k - male (Jonathan Winters?) "How about a beer, sweety?"
begging 20k - male "Please stop begging, it's pathetic."
begging4 - 31k - Marvin the Martian "Begging for mercy makes me angry."
begins - 28k - Scary male "And so it begins."
behappy - 34k - from the song "Don't worry, be happy."
behave - 19k - Austin Powers "Oh, behave."
behavior - 31k - male "Your behavior is completely inappropriate."
beinbad - 27k - from Breakfast Club, Judd Nelson "Being bad feels pretty good. Huh."
bellyake - 22k - Angelica from Rugrats "Ah, quit bellyachin'."
benthere - 9k - female "Been there, done it."
beparty - 35k - male "I told you I can't be a party to that. Now what do you want from me?"
beright - 17k - Jim Carrey "Man, I'm tired of being right!"
besick - 22k - Bullwinkle "I think I shall now be sick."
bestfrnd - 24k - child "You're my very best friend."
bestwrst - 29k - Jim Carrey in Cableguy "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy."
betaught - 23k - Genie from Aladdin "That's right, he can be taught!"
better - 27k - Beatles song "It's getting better all the time."
bichslap - 15k - female, with attitude (what else is new) "have you ever been bitch-slapped?"
bigbelch - 11k - a big belch
bigboned - 18k - from South Park "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned."
bigbrain - 27k - male "Well, you got a big ol' brain on ya."
bigdog - 30k - kids singing "My dog's bigger than your dog."
bigdogs - 32k - female "If you want to run with the big dogs stop pooping like a puppy."
bigfanny - 24k - Wakko Warner "Look! It's a big fat fanny!"
bighug - 18k - female "Big hug."
biglaff - 15k - a silly laugh
biglizrd - 12k - from Toy Story, Mr. Potato Head "Ya big lizard."
bigmouth - 32k - from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, female gargoyle "No, you're the fat stupid one with the big mouth."
bigrboat - 14k - from Jaws, Roy Scheider "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
bigtits - 16k - female "Wanna see my big tits?"
bigtwink - 13k - from Ghostbuster, Winston "That's a big twinkie."
bimbo - 13k - male "Who is this bimbo?"
binks - 18k - Jar Jar Binks "Isa people gonna die?"
biscully - 14k - Mulder "You get a biscuit, Scully."
bitchass - 23k - black woman "Bitch, I'll fuck your ass up."
bitchdie - 12k - male "The bitch must die."
bitching - 18k - from South Park "And stop your bitching!"
biteme - 6k - female "Bite m."
biteuslf - 19k - male "Bite your own self. I'm busy."
bitnice - 27k - Marvin the Martian "That wasn't a bit nice."
bizness - 30k - Bogey "Suppose you run your business and let me run mine?"
blackcat - 27k - a panther
blame - 26k - from Star Trek, Q "There you go again. Always blaming me for everything."
blast - 10k - from Toy Story, Buzz "Blast."
bleck - 10k - cartoon "Bleeck."
bleeds - 26k - Arnold from Predator "If it bleeds we can kill it."
blessnet - 14k - male "God bless the internet."
blind - 9k - male "I'm blind!"
blindrfr - 22k - sounds like the geek from the breakfast club "I've fallen for you like a blind roofer."
block - 24k - male "Any more impudence and it'll be your head on the block."
blockson - 10k - from Toy Story, Mr. Potato Head "Son of a building block."
blokhead - 16k - Lucy from Peanuts "You blockhead."
bloodwin - 20k - Worf from Star Trek "Bartender, bloodwine!"
blow - 20k - John Cleese from Monty Python and the Holy Grail "I blow my nose at you!"
blow2 - 8k - male "Blow me."
blowkiss - 15k - a kiss blown to you. Catch it!!
blowme - 15k - female "Oh, blow me."
blowme2 - 26k - male "Blow me. Just fucking blow me."
blowme3 - 8k - male "Blow me!"
blownose - 6k - from Lion King
blowup - 14k - male "I love blowing things up."
bltsandr - 18k - Home Improvement, Tim "Bet he knows nothing about belt sanders."
blubro4 - 17k - Blues Brothers "We're on a mission from God."
blunt - 27k - male "If I may be so blunt, who gives a shit."
blushf - 26k - female "Teeheehee. Stop, don't make me blush."
blushing - 30k - Pepe the skunk "Oh how sweet, you are blushing."
boffman - 34k - male "What are you looking at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac."
bogus - 17k - Bill & Ted "Bogus."
boing - 9k - a boing noise
boing2 - 34k - and more boing noises
boink - 9k - cartoon boink
bomb - 28k - sound of a bomb falling then exploding
bon2pick - 22k - male "I got a bone to pick with you."
bonanza - 17k - male "Bonanza was never like this."
bonehead - 17k - Joe Pesci "What a fucking bonehead."
bonnet - 28k - Foghorn Leghorn "Any of this getting thru that little ol' blue bonnet of yours?"
bonsai - 16k - "BANZAII!!!"
boo - 8k - "Boo!"
booboo - 17k - child "You made a boo-boo."
booo - 17k - crowd booing
bootme2 - 27k - female "How dare they boot me off of Prodigy."
boreme - 11k - female "Don't bore me."
borrow - 21k - from Sixteen Candles, "Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?"
botherme - 17k - Foghorn Leghorn "Go away boy, you bother me."
botlebrk - 8k - breaking bottle
bottle - 9k - bottle breaking
bow - 20k - from Aladdin, Jasmine "We will never bow to you."
bowdown - 13k - scary male "Bow down before me."
bowling - 19k - male "Have you considered bowling?"
bowlmice - 35k - male "Son, you're dumber than a bowl of mice."
boxhair - 25k - female "You guys are dumber than a box of hair."
boysbest - 22k - Norman Bates "Well, a boy's best friend is his mother."
brain - 22k - Dorothy "What would you do with a brain if you had one?"
brainass - 16k - male "Where're your brains? In your ass?"
braingon - 14k - Dr. McCoy "His brain is gone."
brains - 32k - Timon "Who's the brains in this outfit?... My point exactly."
brains2 - 17k - 3 Stooges, Shemp "I'd knock your brains out if you had any."
brb - 17k - female "Hold on a second, I'll be right back."
brb3 - 27k - male "Hey hang on you guys, I'll be right back."
brbggp - 20k - female "I'll be right back. I gotta go potty."
brick - 26k - male "The man's a brick short."
brnhurt - 14k - Brain "I shall have to hurt you."
bs - 18k - male "You make this bullshit up as you go along?"
bsteel - 15k - from infomercial, female "I love Buns of Steel."
btdt - 21k - Fran, the Nanny "Been there, done that."
budlight - 18k - from commercial, male "Bud light I said!"
budoff - 18k - Aol female "Buddy offline."
budon - 18k - Aol female "Buddy online."
budprob - 16k - from Fast Times, Spicolli "Hey bud, what's your problem?"
buenos - 15k - male "Buenos dias, shitheads."
bugeyes - 30k - Peter "Don't stare at me. You got those bug eyes."
bugger - 7k - male "Bugger."
bugs - 26k - Bugs Bunny "Hey Doc, how come you're so cantankerous today?"
bugs1 - 12k - Bugs Bunny "What's up doc."
bugs2 - 13k - Bugs "Hit the road."
bugswar - 32k - Bugs Bunny "Of course you realize this means war."
bugupass - 26k - Austin Powers "I'm sorry that bug up your ass had to die."
bullwink - 15k - Bullwinkle Moose "hello out there in t.v. land."
bummer - 3k - male "Bummer."
bumtooth - 35k - Foghorn Leghorn "Nice boy, but he's got more nerve than a bum tooth."
burnsome - 25k - Beavis and Butthead "Let's go over to Stewart's house and burn something."
burp - 14k - a burp
burp2 - 9k - burp
busleave - 19k - Bill Murray in Groundhog's Day "Moron, your bus is leaving."
bustface - 31k - male "Just as soon look at you as bust your face."
busy - 25k - male "I'm kinda... I'm... I... ah, kinda busy here."
butt - 19k - male "Jeez, and what's up her butt."
buttbig - 17k - male "Do these make my butt look big?"
buttsnif - 19k - from Homeward Bound, Sally Field as Sassy the Cat "You big flat-faced buttsniffer."
buychees - 20k - Monty Python's John Cleese "I want to buy some cheese."
buydrnk - 35k - male "Hey darlin', can I buy you a couple of drinks hmmm?"
buzzstar - 30k - from Toy Story, Buzz "Buzz Lightyear to Star Command, come in Star Command."
bwlnball - 30k - Foghorn Leghorn "That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball."
bye - 31k - male "Thank you for dropping by, goodbye."
byeass - 27k - remix of Mindy "Okay, I love ya, bubye. Ya asshole."
byebeuty - 25k - male "Goodbye beautiful. I'll see you tomorrow won't I?"