Waiting for his friend to pick him up, Steve sighed and looked up with uninterested eyes at the clock. Danny should be here any time, he thought. He leaned back in the chair and contemplated his life as best he could through the haze of alcohol. The bottle seemed to be his only real friend nowadays. Certainly, his bandmates were still his friends, but he was likely going to be drummed out of the band because of his problems. His relationship with his girlfriend was a farce that Steve continued just so he wouldn’t be alone. Just the thought of living alone again had him ready for another drink.

There were so few people he could really count on now. The guys in the band were as supportive as ever, but they couldn’t let his troubles take the band down with him. Danny, well, he seemed more interested in the places Steve Clark’s name could get them into rather than Steve himself. Janie was drifting away from him, caught up in the life style of a rock star’s girlfriend instead of actually BEING Steve’s girlfriend. Most of the people in their neighborhood just treated him like some kind of freak, the “rock star” not the man. Though he had some very nice conversations with the young woman who’d moved in next door a few months ago. Linsey was one of the few genuine people Steve had met in recent days. The rest of them, well, once the band decided to fire him it would only be a matter of time before they were all gone. But Linsey was just a kid, really. She was just a few days from her twenty first birthday, so Steve guessed she’d just not had the time to get jaded like the rest of the world.

Steve jumped as the phone rang and someone knocked at the door at the same time. Picking up the cordless phone, he made his way to the door as he said, “’Ello?”

Standing back from the door, he let Danny in when he heard Linsey say, “Hi, Steve?”

“Yeah, luv?” Steve said quietly.

“This is rather awkward, but you’re the only one I can think of that’s close enough to help me out,” Linsey said shyly.

“Are you in trouble, Linsey?” Steve asked in concern as Danny took a seat on the sofa.

“No, not really,” she sighed. “This is a very strange thing to ask, but I’ve got this horrible cramp in my neck and I was wondering if you would help me with it.”

Steve laughed, then realized Danny was waiting on him. “I’m sorry, luv, but I was just getting ready to leave,” he sighed. “Otherwise, I’d have been glad to help.”

“Oh,” she said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. “Okay, well, I’d best not keep you then. I’ll just try grabbing a hot shower and hope that helps. Thanks anyway.”

“If it’s not any better tomorrow, I’ll come over,” he offered.

“Thanks, Steve,” she said softly. “Enjoy yourself tonight then.”

“Thanks, Linsey,” he said as he rang off.

“Linsey?” Danny asked curiously. “Isn’t that the tasty little young bit that lives next door?”

“You mean the one you practically wet yourself over?” Steve said crossly. “Yes, it was her.”

“She wanted you to come over and you said no?” Danny said in astonishment. “Fuck mate, I’d have been there in a heartbeat! What’d she want?”

“Oh, she’s got a crimp in her neck and needed someone to help her get rid of it,” Steve sighed as he sat down. “She’s going to see if maybe a shower will help it.”

“Have you lost your bloody mind?” Danny laughed. “That’s an invitation you should never pass up!”

“But I already had plans with you,” Steve said sadly.

“Hell, no!” Danny chuckled. “I’m not gonna see you pass up a chance at a bird like that! We can hit the pub some other night, mate. Get your ass over there!” Danny headed for the door as Steve asked, “You sure about that, Danny?”

“Hell yeah!” Danny laughed. “We’ll go out when you recover from ‘helping’ her out.” With that parting thought, Danny headed out the door and left Steve to his own thinking. He sat for a long while, wondering if he should call Linsey or just go over. Finally, with another long sigh, he grabbed his coat and left for her place. Hopefully she wouldn’t be upset at him for just dropping by.

He knocked hard on her door, then bundled his coat closer to keep out the chill of the January air. Leaning against the door frame, he thought over the past few months that he’d known Linsey. She was so friendly, so real compared to other people he knew. He’d come to consider her one of the few friends he had outside the band.

Linsey bundled her robe around herself and adjusted the towel over her wet hair as she opened the door. Finding Steve there was a surprise. “Still need that help?” he asked shyly.

Wrapping her arms around her midsection to hold the heavy robe in place, she said quietly, “Oh, I thought you were going out?”

“Well, my plans got changed,” he said as he stared at the floor. She saw him shiver as a gust of cold wind blew and said, “God, luv, come in! It’s freezing out there!” She stepped back and let him into her house, then put a hand to her head and said, “Lord! I must look a fright!”

Shaking his head, she heard him whisper, “Not at all, Linsey.” Then he looked at her and said, “What did you need help with?”

She let out a anxious giggle and said, “Well, my right shoulder is really quite tight and I was wondering if you could, well, um, rub it for me?”

“Sure,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Um, where?” he said as he looked around. She motioned to the couch and said, “That okay?”

“Fine with me,” he said softly. She sat down and turned her back to him, letting him take a seat behind her. His long fingers found her sore shoulder and started to work it over gently, listening to her contented sigh as the massage released the tension. But the terry cloth of her robe interfered with what he was doing and he said uncertainly, “Linny? This would probably work better without the robe in the way.”

“Um, sure,” she said quietly. She slipped the heavy cloth off her shoulder, revealing her bare flesh underneath. Steve’s breath caught as he realized she was naked under the robe. She shivered as he touched her for the first time, then let out a long slow breath as he worked the soreness out of her body. His fingers trailed up her neck, moving gently to pulled the tension out of her muscles. His hands wondered under the robe, going over the skin that had yet to be exposed.

The towel slipped off her head, letting her long damp brown hair cascade down over her shoulders. Steve moved it to the side so he could continue his ministrations to her neck. Unconsciously, Linsey leaned back into him a bit, making his job easier for him.

Steve fought the temptation to let his lips take the place of his fingers, not sure how Linsey would react to the sudden change in what he was doing. And eventually, she turned to him and said, ‘Thanks, luv. That feels so much better!”

“Well,” he said quickly as he jumped up from the couch, “I’d best be going then.”

“If you have to,” she said softly.

“I’m sure you’ve got other plans tonight, don’t you?” he said uncertainly.

“Not really, just gonna watch a bit of telly,” she answered. “You’re welcome to stay, since your plans got cancelled.” Then she shook her head and said, “Sorry, that must seem terribly boring to you!”

“Why do you say that?” he asked, figuring she was going to say something about his “rock star” life.

“Well, I know you’re never home much,” she said shyly. “You always seem to be going out somewhere. I’m much more of a home body than that.”

“Wish I could be,” he whispered. “There’s just not much to keep me at home.”

Patting the sofa next to her, she said, “Then why don’t you stay here for a while? See how the non-jet set crowd lives.”

“That’d be nice,” he said as he sat back down beside her.

“Best slip out of that coat if you’re going to stay,” she said with a smile. He took it off and Linsey hung it on a peg beside her own, then made her way into the kitchen. She returned with two bottles of lager and handed one to Steve, then sat back down next to him. He was already surfing through the channels on the television, so she leaned back and let him decide what to watch. Landing on an old movie, Steve sat the remote down and said, “I love this one.”

“Good,” she said with a satisfied smile.

They watched the movie for a long while before she started to fall asleep. Jerking awake, she said, “God, how rude of me!’

“Not at all, luv,” he said quietly. “I’m probably keeping you up way past your bedtime. I’d best go.”

“Please, don’t,” she said, her voice coming out in a strangled plea. The night before, she’d had the most awful nightmare about him and just couldn’t bear the thought of it coming true. Since she moved in and gotten to know him, she’d known she was falling for him even though it was hopeless. He already had a fiance. But for some reason, this one night, she just couldn’t let him leave.

He wondered at the desperation he’d heard in her voice. But since his leaving distressed her so, Steve just couldn’t go. He settled back down next to her and said, “Best get comfortable then, huh?”

“Please do,” she said in a small little voice. He kicked off his boots and leaned into the couch with a happy little sigh, then wondered why he suddenly did feel so bloody happy. Maybe it was just the fact that he was relaxed for the first time in a very long time.

They went back to watching the movie and Linsey fell asleep after about another half an hour. Steve thought again of leaving, until her head came to rest on his shoulder. As he slipped his arm over his shoulders, he realized that he suddenly felt more at home with her than he did with any part of his life. He really had nowhere better to go. Adjusting their bodies, he settled in to go to sleep with her in his arms.

Linsey looked up at Steve’s sleeping face and let out a relieved sigh. For some reason, just him being there was a tremendous load off her mind. She almost felt as though she’d watched a horse land safely on the far side of a dangerous jump and keep right on going. Like some kind of corner had been turned. With a gentle shake, she woke him up and said, “Steve, luv, why don’t we head back to my room? We’ll both sleep better in there.”

“Um, sure,” he said groggily. She lead him back to her room and tucked him in next to her under the covers, laying her head down on his shoulder as they both went back to sleep.

The next morning, Linsey woke up just as Steve did. She smiled up at him and said, “You sleep all right, luv?”

“Was that all we did?” he asked cautiously. He suddenly realized he’d drank far too much before he’d come over and could barely remember a thing about the previous night. Only a general feeling of contentment he couldn’t understand.

“Yeah, that’s all,” she whispered softly, the disappointed added a tiny edge to her voice. “I suppose you’ve got to go home to Janie now, right?”

“I guess,” he answered quietly. But when neither of them started to move, she smiled up at him and said, “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Looking down into her soft brown eyes, he whispered uncertainly, “I don’t want to.”

“Then stay,” she said as she snuggled down against his chest. He pulled her tightly to him and said, “Linsey, I don’t know about this. I mean, this could be dangerous if you’re not careful.”

“Somehow, Steve, I just don’t see you as the dangerous type,” she said softly.

“Linny,” he answered quietly. “Are you sure you want me to stay?”

“Yes,” she answered quickly. “So I guess the question is, do you want to stay?”

“God, yes,” he whispered as he lowered his lips to hers. Surprise took her for only a moment before she returned the kiss with all the passion she’d held back since she’d met him. Holding him tightly against her, her hands moved gently over his chest and burrowed under his shirt. He pulled her up on top of him, then stifled a groan from the pain of three broken ribs he’d forgotten.

“Are you okay?” she asked in concern.

“Yeah, just gotta remember not to jar the ribs that way,” he moaned. “I broke them a few days ago.”

Linsey pulled away and said, “I’m sorry, luv, I didn’t know!” But he pulled her back down to his uninjured side and kissed her again as he whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll just be more careful.” Turning towards her, he said, “Linny, last chance to say no, luv. If this is going too fast for you, please, tell me now!”

“God, no!” she murmured against his throat. “I’ve wanted this so long, Steve. Since the first day I met you!”

A warning bell sounded in Steve’s head, just a wondering if it was really nothing but his fame that had attracted her to him. He pulled back and said, “Why on Earth would you want this?”

“Because, Steve, you are one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met,” she said quietly. Seeing the uncertainty in his eyes, she leaned back and said, “You really don’t see it, do you?”

“See what?” he asked softly.

“You’re funny and warm and sweet and beautiful,” she answered. “But sometimes, when I look in those beautiful eyes, they look so sad. I’d do anything just to see you smile again. I can’t stand to see you that way, luv. I just want you to be happy.”

“I forget how to be,” he whispered. “Actually, I don’t know if I ever have been.”

“Why not?” she asked quietly.

He looked away, not really wanting to talk about his problems with the gorgeous young creature in his arms. But Linsey wouldn’t let it go, probing for an answer to her question. Finally, Steve said, “I’m a very sick man, Linsey. You have no idea. I think maybe I’m crazy, I don’t know.” He pulled away from her, but Linsey grabbed his arm and said, “What do you mean, Steve. What’s wrong?”

“You really don’t want to know,” he murmured as he tried again to move away from her. But she wouldn’t be denied and asked again, “Is it something physical, Steve?”

He pointed to his head and said, “No, it’s all up here. And you don’t need to be burdened with it. I’ll talk to you later.” He got up and off the bed, but just before he got to the door, she started to cry. Turning back to her, he said, “Linny, please, I’m not worth the tears.”

“Maybe you don’t think so, but I do,” she sniffled. “Please, don’t make me lose another person this way!”

Confused, Steve looked at her and asked, “What do you mean, Linny?”

“I’ve seen that empty look in a man’s eyes before, just before my brother killed himself,” she whimpered. Turning away, she whispered, “I adored him, but he just didn’t think he was worth it. I watched him just fade away in front of my eyes, drinking himself into a stupor just to numb a pain he couldn’t fight anymore. He said he didn’t have anything at all to go on for. Then, one night, he drank a whole bottle of Brandy and shot himself while I was out with my friends. That was three years ago, but I can still see that dead stare in his eyes when he described the voices he heard inside his head. I can’t lose another man I love like that! I won’t!”

“You love me?” Steve said in a baffled voice. “You don’t even know me, really.”

“How long does someone have to know you before you believe they care about you, Steve?” she asked quietly as she looked back at him. “I’ve known you for nearly six months and I know what I’m feeling. I’m sure you don’t feel the same way, but before you walk out that door, you have to know how I care.”

He leaned against the door frame and watched the tears trailing down her face. No one had ever said those words to him before, not with so much emotion behind them. Janie’s words seemed so hollow next to Linsey’s. Her tears touched something deep inside him that he’d thought was dead. Sliding down the door, he looked up at her face and started to cry himself. Hiding his face in his hands, he didn’t see her come over to his side, only felt her take him in her arms.

“Please, Steve, don’t turn away from me like David did,” she whispered tearfully.

“Linny, you don’t know what you’re asking,” he sobbed. “I’m too messed up to keep going like this.”

“Then let me help you,” she offered. “Please! Stay with me, Steve!” Her heartfelt plea broke something inside Steve that had be damned up for most of his life. How was it possible that she really felt this for him? His head leaned down on her shoulder as she rocked his body like a mother holding a child. She kissed the top of his head and whispered, “Steve, I do love you, even if you don’t feel the same way.”

“I don’t know what I feel anymore,” he whispered. “Sometimes, I just don’t feel anything.”

“What about Janie? I know you two have been together for a while now...”

“Janie keeps me from being alone,” he murmured. “That’s about it.”

“I’d never let you be alone, Steve,” she answered. He looked up at her, amazed by the sincerity in her voice. Maybe it was time to let Janie move on with her life. He felt closer to Linsey in just these past few hours than he had ever felt to Janie. Maybe it wasn’t love yet, but someday it could be. He tipped her head to his and kissed her gently, wondering if he should leave her while he still could. But her tongue moved out quickly, exploring every bit of his mouth carefully. Her fingers wrapped through his hair, pulling him up to her as a fever took her body.

There was a slight shift in their bodies as Steve laid back onto the floor and pulled her down on top of him. She was careful not to touch his injured ribs as she moved to his other side. He could feel her fingers working nimbly at the buttons of his shirt, undoing them quickly and exposing his chest to her wondering hands. Fingertips traced lightly over his nipples, sending a shiver through his body. Her lips trailed down his throat, nibbling at the flesh of his neck tenderly.

“Linny, please, if you don’t stop this, I’m not going to be able to,” he pleaded.

“Do you want to?” she asked as she looked down at him.

“No,” he whispered almost desperately. He pulled her down on top of him again, her kiss burning through the emptiness in his soul. His hands went under the thick material of her robe, pushing it back from her shoulders as his body responded to the heat of her kiss. Pulling at the tie of her robe, he opened it and slid it off her shoulders, leaving her body naked to his touch.

“God, Linny, you’re so beautiful,” he murmured softly.

“So are you,” she whispered into his hair. His eyes closed at the emotion in Linsey’s voice. Then he jerked as he felt her tug at the thick leather of his belt, pulling roughly at it until it opened. He stopped her with a gentle hand as he said, “Linsey, you’re so young!”

“It doesn’t matter, Steve,” she answered. “My heart’s old enough to know what it wants. And that’s you!”

“Oh, Linny!” he said hoarsely. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Steve?” she laughed. “Shut up and kiss me, please?” And so he did. She worked at opening his jeans and helped him slide out of them, then lay on the floor beside him again. He had a sudden yearning to kiss her and never stop as he moved over on top of her. Their lips met again as his slender hips slid between her soft white thighs. She moaned against his lips as his hard manhood rubbed over the opening of her sex. He started to enter her, only to find unexpected resistance.

“Oh, God, Linny! You’re a virgin?”

She nodded silently and felt him start to pull away from her. Grabbing his hips roughly, she begged, “Please, Steve, don’t stop! I want this so much!” But as he paused, Linsey took over, pulling hard on his hips as her hips thrust up to meet him. He saw her bite her lips as he unwillingly broke through the last barrier of her innocence, then heard her whimpering under him, “Oh, God! That hurt!”

Giving up, Steve sank fully into her waiting body then froze and wrapped her in his arms. “I’m sorry, Linny. If I’d have know, maybe I could have made it hurt a little less.”

“Not your fault,” she murmured as her body adjust to the size of him.

“I can make it feel better now, if you want me to,” he said without moving. Rather than answer him, she kissed him hard and dug her fingernails into his back. He moved slowly out of her, then sank back into her, listening to her breathing get rapid as new sensations took her over. Within minutes, Linsey’s hips were rising up to meet his with each gentle thrust. They gained momentum, each push of his hips getting more frantic as her body tensed for her first orgasm.

“Oh, STEVE!” she whispered urgently. “I think, I think I’m going to, OMIGAWD, STEVE, I’m cumming!” Feeling her tense under him was enough to send Steve over the edge to his own climax, murmuring her name against her throat as his seed poured out into her body. He laid down on her, holding her close as she covered his face with soft sweet kisses. Then, in the afterglow of their lovemaking, he pulled her back up onto the bed and curled her into his body as they both fell into satisfied sleep.

EPILOGUE

After that night with Linsey, Steve felt so totally fulfilled he couldn’t go back to his old life. Several days later, he went back to his house and told a teary eyed Janie it was over between them. With Linsey’s support, he went into rehab on his own for the first time. After two months, he came out clean and sober and determined to stay that way, something that hadn’t happened in twenty years. When his leave of absence ended, he took Linsey back with him as he returned to the band. He rekindled his friendship with Phil and found even more in common with his Terror Twin now that they were both sober. No one around the band was safe from their newly formed bond of practical joking.

Three months after they’d gotten together, Linsey surprised Steve by announcing she was pregnant. He was scared at first, but after watching Phil with his son Rory, he decided that maybe fatherhood would be a good thing for him as well. Their son, Phillip Stephen Clark, was born in September of that year and Steve was absolutely spellbound by him. The guys in the band could only laugh about the changes his son had made in Steve as he changed diapers with a huge grin on his face.

A year to the day after they’d first been together, Steve and Linsey were married in a small ceremony in Dublin. Phil stood up as Steve’s best man while her cousin was Linsey’s maid of honor. The date? January 8, 1992.