The flea market was packed with people as Lee walked through the vendor’s stalls. She was out hoping maybe to find herself a cheap guitar since her last boyfriend had smashed hers in a fit of anger just before he’d walked out of her life. Just about to give up, she headed out of the market and that’s when she saw the beautiful black-bodied Gibson with a white face plate laying against a table. Making her way over, she picked it up and felt a near electric shock run through her. Her hands ran over the traditional lines of the guitar, its smooth finish gleaming in the late afternoon sun. She slipped the strap over her shoulder and laughed when the guitar hit well near her knees. Someone had been rather tall! This guitar was such a gorgeous instrument, she was sure she’d never be able to afford it. After all, she’d only brought fifty dollars with her to find herself a cheap one.
The vendor walked over and smiled at Lee as she caressed the guitar. Looking at Lee, the woman said, “Make me an offer and it’s yours.”
“Oh, I know I don’t have enough for it,” Lee said as she set it back down next to its case. “I’ve only got fifty on me.”
“I want to get rid of it, please,” the old woman said quietly. “I’ll take whatever you give me and fifty will do.”
“Are you sure?” Lee asked in astonishment. “It’s so beautiful! Why would you sell it so cheap?”
“It’s a very long story, but my son brought it back from England,” the woman said wearily. Lee looked so interested, the woman continued, “He found it in a pawn shop over there just before the band he was playing with came back to the States. Three days after he came home, he died of an overdose. I don’t want anything to do with the stuff related to his rock band.”
“That’s so sad!” Lee said softly. “I’ll take it then.” She slipped it into it’s case and paid the woman, then made her way out of the market with her new treasure.
As soon as she got home, she pulled out the guitar and strummed it with practiced fingers. She’d started to play the instrument in junior high, totally enthralled by the sound of her father’s Led Zeppelin albums from his own youth. As soon as she got it tuned, she started to play “Whole Lotta Love”. Then she ran through several of her other favorite songs until she looked up at the clock and realized it was close to bedtime.
When she moved to put the guitar back in its case, she noticed a small brass plate on the back. Upon further study, she could see the letters “SMC” engraved there. Those initials sounded so familiar, but at the moment she just couldn’t place them. Shrugging, she put the guitar away and headed for her bed.
As soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell into a familiar dream. Walking through a garden maze, she ran into a tall thin man with light blond hair. He put a gentle arm over her shoulder as she snuggled into his body.
“Time’s getting close, my love,” he whispered into her hair.
“What do you mean?” she asked her nameless lover. Then she looked in the corner of the walkway and saw the black and white Gibson laying there.
“My guitar will bring you home to me,” he said softly.
Looking up, she could only see his blue eyes smiling down at her. She’d never been able to remember his face when she woke, but tonight she could see his gentle smile as well. Pulling away, she whispered, “Why don’t you tell me who you are?”
“I’m the other half of you,” he answered. “Don’t be afraid, luv.” The British accent on his tongue finally registered in her brain as well, though she’d been having the dream for nearly two years. She finally turned to him and asked, “What do I need to do to find you?”
“Take the guitar back to him,” he said quietly.
“Who?” she asked. “I don’t know who you’re talking about!”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not allow to tell you that, luv,” he whispered. “You have to figure that one out for yourself to get back to me.”
“I’ll try, but I just don’t know what to do,” she answered softly.
“When the time is right, you’ll know,” he said confidently. Then he kissed her gently and said, “Time to go now, baby. I’ll be waiting for you to get here.”
“I don’t want to go,” she whispered.
“It’s not going to be long now, sweeting,” he said as he held her close. She heard an insistent noise, a loud beeping sound that wouldn’t go away.
“Good bye for now, luv,” he whispered into her ear.
Lee woke with a jerk and shut off her alarm clock. Laying back in the bed, she tried to remember everything she could about the dream. She’d had one similar to it every night for nearly two years, each one revealing more than the last. And she remembered more with each one as well. They’d started in late January, 1991, when she had gotten sick. The same man had come to her every night since. All she knew now was that he was British, blue-eyed and had very light blond hair. And she knew the guitar was his. Shaking her head, she wondered if she was finally going mad. How could any of this be possible? Some ghostly lover, haunting her dreams and saying they would be together some day. Her friends would really think she was nuts.
She threw her clothes on and somehow managed to make it through her day at work, though her thoughts were still trapped in her dream. When she got home, her best friend Audrey called and screamed excitedly into the phone, “IT CAME IN!!”
“God, Audi, what?” Lee asked in a puzzled voice.
“In the Round, In your face, that’s what!” Audrey screamed. “We’ve soooo got to watch this, but Tommy’s home and he doesn’t like Def Leppard. Please, can I come over? NOW?”
With a resigned sigh, Lee said, “Okay, come on over.”
“I’ll be right there!” Audrey squealed. As Audrey hung up, Lee just shook her head. Lee had liked the albums Hysteria and Pyromania, but Audrey was totally obsessed with the band. She’d taken Lee to one of their earlier shows during the Pyromania tour, but they’d been in the nosebleed seats and Audrey didn’t share the binoculars very much. So she’d watched the fabulous performance without seeing the band very well. But from the pictures she’d seen, they were a good looking lot.
Audrey blew into the house ten minutes later and slammed the tape into Lee’s VCR with barely a hello. The two girls sat down to watch with Audrey only inches from the television. But during the first song, Lee caught sight of the guitarist with long blond hair and let out a gasp. THAT was the man from her dreams!
“Audi, who’s that guy?” Lee asked quietly.
“The bass player?” Audrey asked as Rick Savage came on the screen. “Rick Savage, isn’t he a dream?”
“No, the blond guitarist,” Lee asked insistently.
“Oh, well the one with short hair is Phil Collen and, my God, does that man have a body!” Audrey answered, knowing that Lee liked guys built like that.
“Who’s the one with the long hair?” Lee finally asked.
“Oh, him,” Audrey sighed. “That’s Steve Clark, rest his soul.”
“What?” Lee said, confused by what she’d said.
“Poor man died almost two years ago,” Audrey said softly.
“Oh my God,” Lee murmured.
“Yeah, I guess Phil’s really broken up over it,” Audrey continued, not seeing the distress on Lee’s face. “He and Steve were best friends. They used to call them the Terror Twins.”
Lee slumped back into her chair, wondering what the hell all this meant. Steve was playing a white Gibson, so it couldn’t be the same guitar she had sitting in her bedroom. I’m losing my mind, Lee thought to herself. There’s no way the man on the screen could be the same one in her dreams. She closed her eyes, trying to get her thoughts straight as the next song played. When she looked up at the screen during “Women”, she saw he’d changed to a brown guitar with an oddly shaped body. But half way through the song, she had to stifle a scream when she saw another guitar slung over his shoulder. It was a black Gibson, white on it’s face and the edges trimmed in white. Just like the one she’d found the day before.
Racing to the VCR, she hit the stop button and said, “Audrey, come with me, right now!” Then she pulled Audrey to her feet and dragged her into the bedroom. Lee got the guitar out of its case and said, “Does this like familiar to you?”
“No, not really,” Audrey laughed, wondering what was wrong with Lee. Lee grabbed her by the arm and carried the guitar back to the living room, starting the tape again. Then she held the guitar up by the screen as Steve came on again.
“OH MY GOD, LEE!” Audrey gasped. “Where’d you get that! It looks just like his!”
“I found it at a flea market yesterday,” she explained. “The woman said her son had bought it in an English pawn shop. What happened to his guitars when he died?”
“Nobody knows, I guess,” Audrey whispered. “Only a couple of them were left by the time his parents made it into his house. Rumor has it his girlfriend sold them all.”
“One more question,” Lee said, suddenly afraid to ask it. “Does ‘SMC’ mean anything to you?”
“Those were Steve’s initials,” Audrey asked. “Why?”
Turning the guitar over, Lee pointed wordlessly to the brass plate bearing those letters. “Holy FUCK!” Audrey gasped. “Lee, you know what this means?”
“It was his guitar after all,” Lee mumbled.
“That thing is worth a fortune!” Audrey said with a smile. “Collectors would pay out the nose for it!”
“NO!” Lee said emphatically. “Audi, who do you think he would have wanted to have this? If it really is his?”
“I don’t know,” Audrey said, her eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about? You can’t just give it away!”
“Yes, I can, but I have to know who to give it to,” Lee murmured as she turned away.
“OH, Damn, you’re passing up soooo much money, Lee,” Audrey said finally.
“I wonder how I could get a hold of the band,” Lee whispered absently. “They’d know if it was really his.”
“They’re out on tour now,” Audrey said helpfully.
“Where?” Lee asked as she looked back at the screen. Steve’s image, holding that guitar, was burning into her brain. He was playing the opening solo of “Gods of War” at the moment. Now she knew who he was, but who did he want to have the instrument?
“Um, I’m not sure,” Audrey said, still puzzled at what her friend was doing. “I’ve got it in one of my magazines at home though.”
“Please, can you go get it for me?” Lee said desperately. “And bring anything else you’ve got of them. I need to know if this is really his.”
“Sure, I’ll run home and get my stuff,” she answered helpfully. She was gone just a moment later and returned within twenty minutes with an arm load of stuff. Lee was still sitting in the same chair, staring at the television screen in a daze. Audrey handed her a load of magazines and said, “Start looking through these and I’ll start on the others.”
The first magazine Lee opened contained an article about Steve’s death and she read through it sadly. He’d been so unhappy in life, but in her dreams he always seemed content. He had what so many men wanted in life: women, money, fame. But he’d battled the same demons Lee had, fighting depression the whole time. But he’d used alcohol and drugs to get himself through it where Lee was still trapped in the nightmare.
“Found it,” Audrey said triumphantly. “Shit, after tomorrow night’s gig, they’re off for nearly a month!”
“Where are they tomorrow?”
“Let’s see, the Adrenalize tour is heading into Phoenix tomorrow,” Audrey sighed. “Guess we’ll have to wait til they get closer in a couple of months.”
“No,” Lee said quietly. She got up and headed for the phone, booking two tickets to Phoenix without saying anything to Audrey. When she turned back to her friend, she said, “I’m going. You coming with?”
“Oh, hell yes!” Audrey laughed excitedly. “My God, you’re crazy though!”
“Maybe I am,” Lee sighed. “The flight leaves in two hours, so go get packed.”
“God, I’m sooooo out of here then!” Audrey said giddily.
There was little time for Lee to think about what she was doing as she packed a small case for a two night stay in Phoenix. She picked Audrey up a half an hour later and listened to her swoon about the prospect of meeting her favorite band. She didn’t even notice how unnaturally quiet Lee was as they moved quickly through the airport. On the flight, Audrey finally calmed down and stared out the window dreamily as Lee drifted into a restless sleep.
“So, my secret is out, eh?” Steve laughed as he walked up behind her in the garden. For the first time, they were outside the maze she’d dreamt of for two years.
“Steve?” she asked quietly. He nodded as he wrapped her in his arms with a soft smile.
“Should have known you’d find it out rather quickly, my love,” he whispered into her ear. “You always were a smart lass.”
“But who do I give the guitar to, Steve?” she begged as she buried her face in his chest.
“You’ll know when the time is right,” he assured her. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, “Then we can finally be together after all these years.”
“But you’re dead,” she pleaded. Whispering in her sleep, she murmured, “But you’re dead.”
“Lee, wake up!” Audrey said as she shook her friend. Lee woke with a jerk and stared wide eyed at the other passengers as she wondered just what Steve had meant when he said they’d be together. “Were you having a nightmare, Lee?”
“No,” she said softly. Knowing just how crazy all this sounded, she turned away from Audrey and answered, “Just a dream, that’s all.”
“We’re just about to land in Phoenix, so get buckled up then,” Audrey said with a broad grin. She was practically bouncing in her seat as she thought about even being in the same town as Def Leppard. “Wait, where the hell are we going to stay?”
Lee closed her eyes, trying to figure that out for herself. A thought suddenly struck her, almost a whisper, as she finally said, “The Sheraton.”
“Oh my God, we can’t afford that!” Audrey gasped.
“I’m paying for it, don’t worry about it,” Lee answered quietly.
“You can’t do that! I know you don’t have the money for it,” she said quickly.
“I said don’t worry about it,” Lee snapped. Audrey studied her friend’s face, noticing the lines drawn by tension for the first time.
“Lee, you okay?” she asked quietly.
“Fine,” Lee said quickly as she looked away again. “I just have to do this, that’s all.”
“Okay, if you say so,” Audrey sighed. Then things got busy as the plane came in for its landing. Once they got off the plane and collected their bags, Lee headed for the car rental counter and quickly got them a vehicle and directions to the hotel. When they got there, Lee walked straight up to the counter and asked for a room.
“Well, we’ve only got one left, and it’s a single,” the clerk said quickly. “If you’d like to share it, you’re welcome to. We can get a hideabed for one of you, if you’d like.”
“We’ll take it and we don’t need a hideabed,” Lee said quietly. Taking the key from the girl behind the counter, Lee led Audrey up to their room and sat her luggage down with a long sigh. Now, all she had to do was figure out how she was going to get close to the group of rock stars staying in the hotel. “Okay,” she sighed, looking at Audrey expectantly. “Do you know anything more about these guys? Like what they usually do when they’re out on tour?”
“Well,” Audrey said slowly, “Most fans talk about meeting them in the hotel bar, so that might be a good start...”
“Let’s go,” Lee whispered, her voice almost dreamlike to her own ears. Without realizing what she was doing, she grabbed the guitar case as she walked out of the room.
“Why are you taking it down there?” Audrey asked quietly. “I mean, it’s the perfect excuse to get the guys into our room!”
“Audi, it isn’t like that, okay?” Lee said quickly. “I can’t explain it, but there’s someone down there who’s meant to have this guitar…”
“Maybe it’s for Malvin,” Audrey answered as they got into the elevator. “I mean, he used to be Steve’s guitar tech for years! That’s got to be it!”
“I don’t know,” Lee whispered as the elevator doors opened into the lobby of the hotel. As they approached the bar, they could see it was packed with tons of adoring female fans of Def Leppard. All hoping to snag a night with a rock star if they could manage it. Even Audrey bounced into the bar like she might stand a chance with one of them. Audrey looked over the confusion, standing on the balls of her feet as she tried to make some sense out of the mayhem surrounding the band.
“Hey! There’s Joe!” Audrey exclaimed. “Let’s see if he knows anything!”
Lee nodded absently, sure that the band’s lead singer wasn’t the person she needed to see. But maybe, just maybe, he could lead her in the right direction. They pushed their way through the press of female flesh, the guitar poking a path in front of them like a guard.
“Mr. Elliott?” Audrey squeaked.
“What would you like me to sign, sweetheart?” Joe mumbled tiredly.
“No, it’s my friend,” she answered, pushing Lee to the front.
“Oh, the guitar?” Joe said absently.
“Mr. Elliott?” Lee said quietly. “I’d like you to take a look at this guitar and tell me if you know who it belonged to?”
“And how would I know that?” Joe said crossly, wondering how he was going to get the bartender’s attention in this mess.
“It’s got this plate on it, with the initials SMC…” Lee started and Joe’s head snapped around.
“What?” She had his full attention now as he said softly, “SMC?”
“Yeah, and I was wondering…”
“Lemme see it,” Joe answered, grabbing for the case and gently pushing a young blonde away from his lap. The girl shook her head in disgust, wondering why this plain Jane girl was getting Joe’s attention when she couldn’t. Seeing Joe so into his new conversation, she flounced off and tried to get Rick to notice her instead.
Opening the case, Joe gasped as he looked at the guitar. “Fuck me, it could be his.” His head shot up, “HEY MAL! Where are you?”
“Over here!” Came Malvin’s answer over a laughing group of women.
“Get over here, Stumpus!” Joe said urgently. “You need to look at this!” Malvin crossed the room with a drink in his hand, which he nearly dropped as soon as Joe showed him the guitar.
“Bloody hell!” Malvin cursed, setting the drink on the bar and picking up the instrument. “This looks just like one of Clarkie’s guitars!” He turned it over, looking for the brass plate just as Lee pointed it out.
“See, right here?” Lee said uncertainly.
“Fuck me sidewise,” Malvin murmured. “Where’d you get this, girl? This used to belong to Steve Clark, before he died. Then the bitch sold them out from under the family!”
“I found it at a flea market a couple of days ago,” Lee answered. “And just got this feeling that it didn’t belong to me…” Searching her feelings again, she felt an answer to the inner question. The instrument didn’t belong to this man either. Sadly, she shook her head. Then a voice in the back of her mind told her to ask the obvious question. “Who do you think he would have wanted to have this?”
Joe and Malvin looked at each other, not knowing quite what to make of the strange question she’s asked. Then Malvin said softly, “There’s only one person I can think of…”
“He’s up in his room,” Joe said quietly. “I’ll call him…”
For Lee, the next few moments seemed to last an eternity as they waited on this mystery person to materialize in front of them. She stared down at the guitar, wondering how her entire life had gotten wrapped up in this little story as she heard a few shrieks from Leppard’s fans.
“Sorry, ladies,” came a mumbled Cockney accent. “Give me a few minutes, k, dear?”
Unconsciously, Lee picked the guitar up by it’s neck and turned to face the new comer. Joe was trying to explain the situation to him, but Lee didn’t hear a word he said. As soon as her eyes met his, she KNEW. Her voice came from a great distance as she said firmly, “He wants you to take this. And to know he’s happy now.”
As soon as his hand touched the instrument, Lee felt like her world was starting to spin.
“What’d you say?” Phil asked quietly.
“He’s happy now,” Lee said as she slumped onto a bar stool. “He wanted you to know that…”
“Who?” Phil asked as he turned the guitar over in his hands. Then, just as his eyes fixed on the brass plate bearing the initials of the man Phil had cared for more than anything, Lee whispered, “Steve…”
Stunned, Phil looked around at the others standing by him. Suddenly, all the pain of the loss of Steve collapsed in on him. Pulling the guitar to his chest, tears started to flow from his eyes as he said, “What are you, a psychic?”
“No,” Lee answered softly as the bar started to slip out of focus. Then, urgently, she whispered, “Let him go now, Phil. Cry for him, then let him go. He loved you, but he just couldn’t hold on anymore. So love him, but move on with your life and be happy now. He is.”
Lee moved silently away from them as Phil murmured, “Thank you, whoever you are…”
In a daze, she looked around the room and realized she had to get out. She stumbled across the floor, her feet not wanting to walk as she forced her body to move. As she made it to the hall, she leaned against the wall for support. But there was somewhere she had to go. To get away from the others.
“LEE!” came Audrey’s urgent cry. “What’s wrong?!” Lee didn’t answer, just continued to stumble across the room. She’d made it to the front entrance just as her friend caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm. Then, a blinding pain shot through her temple and the world went white as an exploding star as she collapsed to the ground.
*******
“I’m sorry,” said the physician as Audrey cried in the waiting room of the hospital. “She had a cerebral aneurysm…there was nothing we could do. She’s dead.” Audrey’s cries rang out in the lobby as a nurse tried to calm her and the doctor tried to explain that the aneurysm could have happened at any time. There was nothing that could be done about it.
*******
Lee looked around the hospital waiting area, her heart going out to her best friend. “I’m sorry, Audi,” she whispered. “but it was time.”
Steve walked up silently behind her, slipping his arms around her as he said softly, “Are you ready for eternity, my love?”
“Yes,” she answered quietly as the room around them faded away into a brilliant white light and they seemed to float away into forever.