Come As You Are
 
    I opened my eyes and realized somebody was knocking on my front door.  I had fallen asleep on my loveseat while watching a flick on the Foo Fighters recent tour which had probably stopped hours ago. A blue TV screen blazed at me and my VCR clock told me it was 3:00 AM.  Then I heard the knock again, I bolted up from the loveseat and went to peek out my door wondering who would be here at this time of night, when I caught sight of my friend Jimmy looking rather anxious sort of hopping on one leg outside my apartment.  I threw open my door and let him in, he bolted straight for the bathroom, and I wasn't in the least bit surprised the way he was walking so I busied myself with starting up my expresso machine and rewinding the tape.  My living room drapes were hanging wide open, I was lucky I had an apartment with windows facing Seattle Center and the sound, but the one I was hoping to move into was better, it was a two story townhouse with huge windows facing the sound and the Center on University Way, it was the only apartment high enough up to get a view and it sat on top of another two story apartment, so my bedroom was basically on the fourth floor of the building.  Jim emerged from the bathroom as I was pouring out cups of steaming mochas.
     "Liv I have to ask you a huge favor."  He said.
     "Shouldn't you be sleeping, it is three and tomorrow you guys have that huge boring rehearsal for that show in L.A. that you're leaving for at seven o' clock or in four hours and I'm doing Christmas shopping tommorrow, so I should be asleep now too."  I told him.
     "Well, I just got this really surprising phone call."  Jim said sipping his coffee.
     "At three AM?"  I asked.
     "It's from the New York Time Zone it's six over there, my cousins, they're coming over on a plane, I haven't seen them since forever.  In addition, they are rich!  Their parents decided to send them over to Cousin Jim's a couple weeks before Christmas and their parents will be here Christmas Eve, which we are having at your place by the way."  Jim blurted.
     "Whoa here, why my place, and what do your cousins have to do with you showing up on my doorstep at three o clock in the morning?"  I asked with a sharp tone.
     "Well, we always have it at your place, Liv."  Jimmy said.
     "Yeah cause you don't want to cook, decorate or clean up afterwards, none of you do."  I reminded.
     "Pretty much."  Jimmy said with a smile.
     "Okay okay, what about your cousins now and is Christmas the big favor or what?"  I asked.
     "Well you can't expect me to take them to L.A. with me can you?"  Jimmy asked.
     "Oooh no, I am not babysitting your cousins!"  I yelled.
     "Liv it's not babysitting they're around your age, three are a year older, and the others two years older."  Jimmy explained.
     "Four of them!  No way Paco!"  I yelled.
     "Please Liv, I can't take them to L.A. with us."  He pleaded.
     "So they are big boys let them fend for themselves."  I said.
     "Liv they don't know Seattle well enough, please, please, please?"  Jimmy begged.  I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
     "What time are they gonna be here?"  I asked.
     "Six, I'll drop them off then drive back to Sea Tac with the guys."  Jimmy said.
     "Fine, okay, but leave then, it's three-thirty, if you leave now I can sleep for another two and a half hours."  I told him.
     "Okay.  Thank you so much Liv!  I owe you."  He told me.
     "You owe me times two, I'm doing Christmas too."  I said.
     "Thank you again."  He said taking the last gulp out of his cup.  After I locked the door after him I took a shower and fell into bed again.
******
     My eyelids fluttered open at the sound of the knock on my door.  I looked at my alarm by my bed, it was 5:55.  I rubbed my eyes and tossed on my glasses, then grabbed my robe on the way to the door.  When I got to the living room I hit my VCR remote and my Aerosmith video started playing.  The knockers were getting impatient and were basically throwing their weight against the door.  I opened it a crack, and peeked, there was Jimmy bundled up in his gray winter coat his black hair frozen to his head.  Behind him stood four boys, the first one had on a ski cap and a snowboarding jacket, the one standing directly behind him had ear-length brown hair and was wearing a black trench coat, the one beside him was wearing a navy down jacket with a flannel sticking out of the bottom and a tentative baseball capped head stuck over their shoulders.  I opened the door all the way inviting them in.  They looked around my living area in curiosity.  My black and silver entertainment center crammed with TV, VCR, stereo systems, and racks of videos and CDs.  The midnight blue shag carpet topped with a plaid silver and baby blue sofa/loveseat combo and a silver and a black recliner.  There was glass and black end tables topped with lava lamps and flowering plants.  My coffee table sported the last years worth of Rolling Stone and Circus magazines.  The gray walls held pictures of sweaty, long-haired rockers, and celestial prints.  Up against the wall was a tall lamp beside a table that held my telephone and answering machine.  Behind my head there was my kitchen that was tiled in blue and covered with pictures of cherubs complete with a little framed print of two cherubs drinking coffee over my small table.  Jim shut the door behind them and stepped in.
     "I don't have much time for chat, I have to be back at Sea Tac in an hour with the rest of the guys.  But I might as well introduce you all."  Jim said.  "This is Bob."  He said referring to the one in the trenchcoat, he nodded at his name and continued examining a Nirvana tour video he had picked up off the top of my VCR.  "And Scott."  He continued pointing out the one in the down jacket who smiled shyly and uttered "hi" so softly it was inaudible, the only reason I knew he had said something is because his lips moved.  "And this is Dave."  He said referring to the ski cap guy who had pulled it off revealing a head full of brown spikes.
     "Hi, how's it going?"  Dave asked, apparently the outgoing one of the group, he reached out to shake my hand, which after consideration approved and then turned back to Jim.
     "Then there's Clint."  Jim finished backing out the door pointing at the guy in the baseball cap who smiled and kinda waved.
     "Aight, I'm Liv and you're all stuck here until Jim gets back."  I said.
     "Actually...."  Jim said, all of us were staring at him.
     "Jim said this is where we'd be staying the whole time."  Dave said.  Jim smiled sheepishly.
     "Jim!  I don't mean to sound rude you guys."  I said to Jim and then the four guys.  Bob nodded it off infatuated with the Aerosmith video that was on.  Scott smiled and nodded.
     "Of course, don't worry about it."  Dave said.  Clint smiled and shrugged.
     "But Jim you owe me times three!  You give me three perfect strangers not just for while you are gone but for two weeks!  Then you expect me to put together an amazing Christmas party for your family!  You are getting married next month and you and your girlfriend want me to help with that!  Moreover, wait!  Why can't they stay with you after you get back?"  I demanded.
     "Well Liv, you have a two bedroom apartment and it's only you.  We have a four-bedroom apartment and there are eight of us living there!  See the problem. You have an extra room, we don't have an extra inch to spare!"  Jim pointed out Jake, Andy and Danny congregated behind him at the door.
     "Hey Liv!"  Andy said.
     "Hey Dandy."  I answered.
     "Please Liv!?"  Jim begged.
     "Why did you wait till they were in the room?  You just wanted to put me on the spot in front of everyone to make me look bad because I have stuff to do before Christmas!"  I yelled at him.
     "Wait."  Dave said from behind me.
     "What?"  I asked.
     "We'll pitch in around here and stuff, we'll help you shop and get the place decorated and cook for Christmas."  Dave said.
     "Yeah that'd be fun."  Bob said snapping out of the trance that held him to the TV.
     "Besides it'd be kinda rude of us just to leech off of you for two weeks."  Scott summed up.
     "So that settles it!"  Jimmy said.  "And we have to leave now or else were gonna miss our plane."  Jimmy finished.
     "Okay okay.."  I said.
     "See you later Liv, and you guys don't piss her off okay?"  Jim asked.
     "Don't worry about them Jim, it's you that pisses me off."  I told him.
     "Bye Jim."  Called the guys from behind my shoulder.
     "Bye guys, and Liv I owe you big time!"  Jim promised.
     "Okay okay.. Get out of here you're gonna miss the plane."  I said.  After some final good-byes I shut the door and locked it.
     "I'm gonna go put my eyes in and my face on, and get dressed, entertain yourselves for a few okay?"  I asked.
     "Okay."  Dave answered.
     "I can already tell, you're the outgoing one right?"  I asked.  He smiled and laughed.
     "Yeah, I guess that is me."  He admitted.
     "Well I'll be out in about ten and then I'll make something to eat okay?"  I asked.
     "Alright."  They answered.
     I walked back to my bedroom and locked myself in my bathroom, after forcing my contacts into my eye, applying my make-up and changing into jeans and a silver and navy 3/4-sleeve sweater.  I turned off the radio and heard shuffling in my room, and somebody whisper.  "Oh shit she's coming!"  I whipped open the door and found my bed tosseled and my closet door half open.  I went to the bed and picked up the blankets around the lump and Dave was lying on his back staring up at me with a huge grin on his face.
     "Hi Liv."  He said waving.
     "Okay what kind of shit are you pulling now.."  I asked.  Then I heard a snicker in the closet and decided to check out his partner in crime and found Bob crouching behind my black dress.
     "Okay you guys..  Totally not funny.. I didn't take you in for you to go snooping around in my shit!"  I yelled.
     "Whoa chill, we were just messing around."  Dave said.  Scott appeared in the doorway and looked on in disapproval.
     "You guys are 19 act like it.. My God you still act like you're eight!"  Scott exclaimed.
     "Thank you!"  I said throwing my hands up in the air.
     "Sorry Liv."  The two said in unison.  I noticed Bob had his hands behind his back and I was relieved when he left the room without hucking something at me.  I started some mochas and hucked some bagels with cream cheese on them in the microwave.  Scott had turned the TV onto MTVX and was watching a Jamiroquai video from 1997.  I was looking over the island in my kitchen where Clint was sitting with a glass of orange juice chattering away about some girl he had met in Seattle before when Dave and Bob started laughing hysterically from behind the loveseat.  Scott who was sitting on it turned around and gave them a disgusted look.
     "What now?"  I asked.
     "They have some kind of book they got from your room."  Scott said frowning.
     "NARK!!"  Bob yelled at him hitting him over the head.
     "What is that?"  I asked.  He hucked it at me, and Dave hucked another.  I blushed when I caught them.
     "Why did you get in that box?  That's where I've kept all my gag gifts I've gotten since I was sixteen."  I asked finding the books were titled Kama Sutra and The Fart Book.
     "Oh like that fake shit in there?"  Bob asked hanging over the back beside Scott who seemed somewhat interested now.
     "Or those condom lollipop things."  Dave laughed.
     "Or that strawberry flavored whipped cream crap."  Bob cracked up.
     "Yes yes, there is also a couple pair of handcuffs, half a dozen more volumes of Kama Sutra, made for two undies and cards that will never see the light of day again."  I told them.  Scott and Clint blushed, and Dave and Bob rolled around on my floor in laughter.  I went back to my bedroom and replaced the books, when I got back out there we ate our breakfast in silence until my telephone rang.
     "Hello?"  I asked.
     "Hey Liv this is Emma."  My friend answered.
     "Whats up?"  I asked.
     "I took the bus down here to this street fair that me and Trinity have been working at but we don't want to take it home at five."  Emma answered.  I checked my watch it was nine.
     "Alright, I'll stop by at five."  I said.
     "Okay thanks, bye."  She answered.
     "Bye."  I finished.
     "Aight grab your coats were going shopping."  I said.  None of them objected and we drove around town until four going to places like Gap, Old Navy and Nordstrom's.
     "Alright, now, I'm going to go do some shopping for myself."  I told them after I had bought for everyone on my list, including them, oblivious as they may be to it.
     "I thought you just went to college here, I know it may sound rude, but how can you afford it all?"  Bob asked.  I laughed.
     "Simple, I work nights at Sam Goody, I give private guitar and piano lessons to a dozen different students four times a month at a hundred dollars a session and I'm in a band that makes money off gigs."  I explained.
     "Oh I see."  Bob answered.  I parked my car in an all day garage, paid, and walked across the street to Starbucks.  We sat for fifteen minutes talking over coffee.  I decided that these guys were not that bad after all. They had neat stories to tell about their travels and concerts.  They had been in the music biz since they were old enough to sing.  Bob had the absolute cutest smile, whenever he smiled it set of his eyes his whole face was pulsating with handsomeness, and I grew to love Dave's friendly attitude,  Bob was always cracking jokes and making everyone smile, Dave was always gabbing a mile a minute, Clint would throw in well thought out thoughts that make me picture him as sensitive and intelligent, and Scott was very big brother like and always shot in what was really going on with everything.  They were a amazing bunch of people.  After we finished drinking our coffee, we headed to Hot Topic so I could buy some clothes.  There was this incredibly cute black leather dress with a black leather trenchcoat that came with it that Clint spotted out.
     "Liv, look!"  Clint pointed it out with a grin.
     "That's cool Clint."  I said leaning into check the tag.
     "You would look so sexy in that."  Clint added.  I turned around to laugh and he was beet red.
     "Clint, breathe.. You are bright red."  I said disregarding the comment to make him more comfortable.  He laughed it off and turned to me with this weird look.
     "Sometimes, I just blurt.. Things.."  He said slowly.
     "Yeah, but it's always the truth.."  Bob said from behind me grinning.
     "Yeah really, Livie you would look hot in that." Dave said.  Scott nodded and grinned.
     "I guess if you like hookers."  I said examining it more closely.
     "No actually it's more goth looking."  Bob pointed out feeling the fabric.  A grin spread across his face.  "Ooh shit, does this stuff feel good."  He laughed.  I gave him a look of disbelief.
     "Too loud for my tastes."  I decided starting to turn.
     "Maybe that's why your a recluse Liv, after talking to you, trust me I think you need to lighten up a little, you just sit in your apartment all day dreaming about the perfect man and the perfect life and you never make anything happen, seriously, you need to open your eyes there are plenty of possibilities for everything everywhere."  Scott advised.  This is what I liked about Scott, however somewhat blunt, had a good point whenever he threw anything into the conversation.
     "Fine, then I'll say it's too expensive."  I said shrugging.
     "Fine then we'll buy it for you."  Bob said taking it off the rack.
     "No way Paco."  I said yanking it out of his hands and taking it up to the register.  After shopping at Zumiez we were at 4:45 and had to get to Westlake center.  I drove like a bat out of hell and barely got to Seattle Center before 4:50 so I had a brilliant idea to hop the monorail.  So the five of us paid to get on, however I was wearing that loud dress that I had bought, I felt like the chick off the Matrix.  We sat in the front of the car hopping counting every second before we got there at 4:52.  After getting there we hopped off and headed a few blocks down the street to a little street fair they were doing a couple blocks from Nordstrom's that had pissed us off traffic wise earlier.  I quickly found Emma and Trinity working away at a booth selling tye-dye.  Emma seemed surprised that I was on time, and with my history, I could see why, but she also seemed surprised at me for having four exceptionally handsome men in tow.
     "Wow, on time Liv, this is definently a first."  She said eyeing my eye-catching outfit.
     "Where'd you get that?"  Trinity asked nodding at my dress.
     "Hot Topic, they think I'm too boring so I bought it."  I said referring to the guys.
     "Who are they anyways?"  Emma asked as Trinity busied herself with a customer.
     "Jim's cousins:  Bob, Scott, Dave and Clint."  I said introducing them to her.
     "Yeah I'm Emma."  She said shaking their hands.
     "Well were off."  Trina said as she handed over her apron to a twenty-something that was very pregnant and looked impatient.  Emma gave hers to what looked like a prepubescent girl wearing a smiley face tee shirt and a pair of jeans.
     "Well, there are rides a bit down the way."  Emma said pointing down the street.
     "I guess it wouldn't hurt to go on a few."  I said.
     "When's Jim getting back?"  Emma asked jumping over the counter.
     "Around five, I think were all meeting for dinner, and he owes me so he's paying."  I said.
     "Cool, where?"  Trinity asked.
     "How about the Space Needle."  I said with a grin.
     "Liv you are so cheep,. the only time you have suggested going near that hunk of junk since you've lived here, is when you're gonna make somebody else pay for you."  Emma laughed.  The rest of the group laughed and I just shrugged.
     "I may be cheep, but I'm the one with that kick ass townhouse on the way in the works."  I pointed out.
     "So.."  Emma said apparently I had beaten her but she did not give up easy.  We all bought nine tickets so we could go on three rides.  We decided on the Avalanche, the Gravatron and the Zipper(which was Scott's idea).  We had a ball on the avalanche and took the whole time yelling stuff at people that were walking by.  Then we got on the gravatron and I started having some problems.
     "Um, Bob, I think I'm fucked."  I told him, he was in the little chained in thing next to me.
     "Why?"  He asked as the ride started.
     "Because my skirt is gonna fly up."  I said grabbing the ends.  He raised his eyebrows.
     "And that's a bad thing?"  He asked with a grin.
     "Actually, yeah."  I said.  He laughed and smiled at me, I must have been tripping but I thought I felt something click as I gazed so helplessly into his dark brown puppy dog eyes.  Next thing I knew he was cracking up.  My skirt had flipped up at his side.
     "Damn.."  I said.  He leaned back and looked up.
     "Mmmm..."  He mumbled.
     "What is that supposed to mean?"  I asked him.  He gave me a look out of the corner of his eyes.
     "Nothing, nothing at all Liv."  He said rolling his eyes back over at Scott who was at the other side of him.  Clint who was across from me with grinning ear to ear at me and I felt like shooting him.  Once we had gotten off Emma and Trinity rushed over to me.
     "So I heard you had a problem with your skirt."  Emma said.
     "Yeah..  You should have seen Clint, he looked like he was on cloud nine!"  Trinity said.
     "Oh really.. Funny."  I said as Scott grabbed my arm.
     "Oh ladies, you aren't gonna chicken out on us now?"  He asked.
     "Scott you don't actually expect me to get on that after what happened on the gravitron."  I said.
     "Oh, boo hoo."  Dave said on the other side of him.
     "Shut up Dave-o, guys with puffy little chipmunk cheeks and that are baby cute need to be seen and not heard, oh cute little Dave-o."  I went on, knowing how much it annoyed him.
     "Liv!  I am a year older than you!"  Dave fought.  I grinned liking the rise it got out of him.
     "Alright, grab a partner were going in."  Scott said taking Bob's arm and yanking him into the pod.  Dave got in by himself followed by Trinity and Emma.  Clint stood beside me.
     "You wanna sit together?"  Clint asked shyly.
     "Why not, I guess we have to."  I said listening to Bob and Scott yelling at me to get my chicken ass into the ride already.  After the cage closed, I freaked when we went into the air.
     "Shit!"  I said jumping in my restraints.
     "Liv, calm down, it's okay."  Clint said putting his arm around me.
     "I hate upside down rides."  I told him.
     "Come on Liv!"  I heard Dave yell at me from two cages up.  I sighed.
     "We can get off still."  Clint said.
     "Yeah but we'd have to go around once anyways and I'd be embarrassed so why the hell not."  I said.  Clint smiled at me and I felt his arm tighten around my waist.  After the second most scary two minutes of my life (first was the ring of fire, I swear the restraints are shit on that thing, I could commit suicide accidentally from scratching my ass on that thing.) I emerged from the cage about ready to kick Scott right in the balls for suggesting it.
     "It's getting dark, we should start getting back."  Trinity pointed out.  Bob smiled at her.  Oh shit, I thought, this is not the way it should be, I want Bob, why is he looking at Trinity like that?  I tried to disregard it, we returned to my apartment where Jim, Jake, Andy and Danny were waiting.
     "Well, well, well, how did my little cousins enjoy their day in Seattle?"  Jim asked with a grin as we walked into my apartment.  I swear they had a key to my place I wasn't aware of cause I know sure as hell I didn't leave my door unlocked I wasn't that damn gay.
     "It was awesome!"  Dave said enthusiastically.  They went over the highlights of our day when Andy turned and raised his eyebrows disapprovingly at me.
    "It was Scott's fucking idea, I feel like a prostitute in it."  I said heading for my room.
     "I didn't say anything!"  Andy protested as Scott hit him.
     "You didn't have to Dandy it was written all over your face."  I yelled as I shut my door.  After changing, washing my face and reapplying my makeup I joined them back out in my living room.  After five minutes or so, Trinity and Emma knocked at the door ready to go to the Needle for dinner.
 
Immodium
 

     The eleven of us separated.  Clint, Dandy, Dave and Bob rode in my jeep.  Jimmy, Jakey, Emma and Scott rode in Jimmy's truck.  Leaving Trinity and Dan the Man in Trinity's little station wagon.  When we finally got to the needle we stood in line to pay to go up and then got in an elevator luckily there was enough of us though that we were by ourselves and not with any strangers.  I saw Bob and Trinity talking across the elevator.  He was smiling she was smiling they were both gazing, that was enough.  I coughed.  Emma looked at me then looked at them, she knew immediately.
     "Hey I remember who you guys are, you were at the pier that one time doing that show."  Emma said.
     "Yeah, I remember that I got shoved into the water!"  Scott said defiantly.
     "Yeah that was Emma."  Trinity told him.
     "Hey Trinity do we need to tell them what you did?"  Emma asked.
     "No!"  Trinity said.
     "Hmm.."  I said.
     "Yeah she said you guys sucked ass too much and left."  Emma said.  Trinity turned bright red.
     "Yeah she wanted to go see some shit like BS or something."  I said.
     "Yeah really!"  Emma said.
     "Well Liv harassed that camera man!"  Trinity pointed out.
     "Oh yeah.."  Emma said.
     "She was all like.. I do not want to pull that drummer's pants down!  Right into the camera."  Trinity added, Clint gaped at me.  Scott laughed and Bob glared.
     "Trinity you are such a fucking bitch and you need to rot in hell."  I said punching the elevator dials.
     "You started it."  Trinity said with an attitude.
     "Emma started it don't say things you can't back up bitch."  I warned shoving my hands in my pockets.  The elevator finally reached the top in a tense silence.
     "Aight, I'm going back home because it's apparent that I don't belong with you people, it sickens me how.. You know what fuck it, I don't even know what I'm trying to say."  I said.  I heard Clint say "But Liv-" before the elevator doors shut again.  I returned to the bottom and waved goodbye at the ticket man.
     "Wow you were through fast!"  He said.
    "Yeah, I had a bit of a dispute with some former acquaintance and decided just to leave."  I said turning.
     "Goodnight young lady."  He called.
     "Night."  I said over my shoulder.  I drove around for awhile and eventualy found myself at Starbucks drowning my doubts in granitas.  My cell phone rang as I was downing my third one.
     "Hello, is this Olivia France?"  Asked the voice on the line.
     "Yes this is may I ask who's calling?"  I asked.
     "This is Pete Talbot, you have an application for an apartment in my complex and I wanted you to know that it's ready at any time and you can move in."  Pete told me.
     "Well you know what.. I'm having a horrible day right now."  I said with a tight laugh, "And maybe you might have someone who could help me pack my things really fast tonight and I'd be in there by ten."  I informed him.
     "Well, I have two young boys working matinence for me, you interested?"  He asked.
     "Of course!"  I said.
     "Okay they'll be at your place with a truck and a load of boxes in fifteen minutes...  Whats the address?"  He asked.  I told him and then left with a double shot mocha warming my hands.  When I got home, two men were waiting outside my door with a dolly and boxes.
     "Eh, you Olivia France?"  One asked.  I unlocked my door quickly and turned the light on.
     "Just call me Liv."  I told them.
     "No prob!"  They answered.
     "Aight, you think you two can pack this with my assistance in an hour?"  I asked.
     "We'll sure try."  One of them told me, he had shoulder-length black hair, blue eyes and a muscular figure.
    "My name is Kurt Lewis, by the way."  Said the guy with the dark hair.
     "And I'm Gavin Jones."  Said a shorter guy with blonde hair and brown eyes.
     "Great.  You guys don't need any help with the big stuff do ya?"  I asked.  Gavin showed me the dolly.  "This will help for anything that can fit in the elevator and the rest the two of us should be able to handle."  Gavin told me.
     "Thank you guys for coming on such short notice.  I can't wait to get the hell out of this hell hole."  I said.
     "I don't know why a pretty girl like you would be troubled so bad that you'd want to move."  Gavin flirted.
     "It's a rather long story, maybe when I get moved in at my new place I'll enlighten both of you over a cup of coffee if you feel like it."  I told them.
     "And invitation from a woman to join her over coffee?  Wow, I haven't gotten that since I've been up here."  Kurt laughed.
     "I'll get the bedroom done."  I told them cleverly changing the subject.  "Yell if you need anything.  Help yourselves to the boxes, be careful taking anything off the wall."  I told them.  I returned to my bathroom first at the very end of the apartment, I decided to work from the back forward and they would do the opposite, all I had here was a living room, kitchen, guest room, bathroom, bedroom and smaller bathroom.  Therefore, I should not have a time leaving.  Most of the stuff in the guestroom remained unpacked from when I moved out.  I put all my makeup and shower things in a box, and started a cleaner box that I would finish later putting the bathroom cleaners in it.  After leaving the bathroom spotless and empty, I went into my bedroom and put all my CD's, records, stereos and speakers in a box.  Then my pictures, stuffed animals and bedding went in another.  My clothes were crammed in a suitcase and I peeled the posters off the wall and ran them into the kitchen where there was a tall box halfway full of posters that Kurt and Gavin started.  They were not in the room at the time, but the couch, end tables, lamp, coffee table, chair and table and chairs were missing from the living room and kitchen.  I found a note on the fridge.  "Livie, the truck is full were taking the stuff to the Way back in a few. Kurt."
    I returned to my room bringing all the boxes, mattresses and bed pieces out into the living room.  I then took all the boxes out of the guestroom and boxed up the remaining belongings of mine.  I packed the guys' things, ran them down the hall, and took the key from under Emma's mat, I ran them in, left a note saying I moved, and maybe I would call later.  I returned to vacuum out the guestroom and Kurt snuck up behind me.
     "Livie"  He said.  I jumped and screamed.
     "Were back, but were out again, I got the TV, VCR, Stereo, Microwave, the beds and all those boxes in, but Gavin's taking apart the entertainment center so he'll stay."  Kurt told me.
     "Okay Kurt, thank you guys so much."  I said.  He smiled at me.
     "I'd do anything for a girl like you."  He teased.  I laughed.
     "Thanks Kurt."
     "Anytime."  He said leaving the room.  I finished in there and crossed the hall to the bathroom.  It was simple just putting the chemicals in the box, the decorations in the poster box and wrapping the ceramic mirrors.  Then I mopped the floor washed out the tub and turned out the light shutting the door.  The living room was empty except for a few lamps, my hammock, a couple plants and boxes, and planks of my entertainment center.
     "Gavin, you guys are doing an awesome job."  I told him as my telephone rang.  The answering machine picked up.
     "Hey this is Liv and I'm not here and yeah so just do something."  Said the recording.
     "That's cute."  Gavin said referring to the machine.  I was emptying the linen closet in the hall into one huge box.  I sealed it with duct tape and pushed it at him.
     "Hi, Liv, it's Clint, why did you leave so fast?  Well I see you when we get home. We should be there in about an hour.  Uh.. I um, love you."  Clint said and then he hung up.
     "Oh like you've had a bum day."  Gavin said laughing.  You could tell he was a surfer and probably spent his summers in California, with his sun-bleached hair and dark tan.
     "It's the wrong guy, it's the guy I like his brother, and my stupid so called friend is hanging all over the guy I like, its all just a mess, I want out."  I whinned.
     "Ohh." Gavin said.
     "Sorry Gavin, it's not your fault."  I told him.
     "It's okay Livie, whenever you need to bitch find me."  He told me.  I laughed and finished the silverware and dishes.  Then I put the towels and pans in a box, pulled my cooler in, and emptied the contents of my fridge and freezer in it.  Gavin finished the entertainment center and took the telephone out of the jack and put it and the answering machine in the crate it was in along with my few videocassettes.  I finished in the kitchen and mopped it up, I had just finished whipping the counters when Kurt came in.   They hauled the boxes to University way and I vacuumed the empty living room.  I told them I could fit the vacuum in my car and would meet them over there, they were gonna unload and put my beds and entertainment center back together for me.  I looked at my empty apartment and saw the ghosts of the past clearly.  Jimmy pulling the coffee table up at thanksgiving projected across the room.  My empty room was set aglow as Emma and I dumping coffee out the window.  In the corner of the living room I saw the dim glow of us playing monopoly last New Year.  Last Christmas right after I moved in having the first company I ever had.  In addition, lazy Saturday mornings when my friends would show up and interrupt breakfast.  I shut the door and locked it.  All those memories were safe in my head now, not in that apartment.  I walked down the stairs with the vacuum and one last final box and handed my keys to the manager.  She told me that she would miss me around and that I was a good tenant.  I waved goodbye one final time as I pulled out of my parking space onto the highway.  I got to the Way and helped Kurt and Gavin help me unpacking in my much larger apartment, actually a townhouse, two stories, three bathrooms, four bedrooms, a kitchen, dining room, living room, a patio and small back yard, and a balcony off all the bedrooms that were located upstairs with a bathroom in between two on one side and the two on the other.  Downstairs it opened into a living room and branched into a kitchen a dining room, there was a coat closet and bathroom right off the living room.  It was an awesome joint.  It was so big though, I would have to go shopping.

~~~~~~~
     They congregated in the parking lot of the Space Needle looking over their shoulders for me to emerge out of the darkness and apologize for so rudely disrupting their evening.  Scott sighed and leaned up against Jim's truck.
     "Well, I hope we are all very happy with ourselves, she put herself out for us today, bent over backwards to make us feel welcome and we alienated her out of her free dinner."  Scott said.
     "Oh like she'd the one who was alienated, she alienated us."  Bob said taking Trinity's hand.
     "No she just got royally pissed off at certain so called friends of hers, for being whores."  Emma commented glaring angerly at Trinity.
     "Oh so it's all my fault?"  Trinity asked.
     "Whats your fault?"  Bob asked sliding his arms around her waist and leaning in to kiss her.  She pulled away and shook her head angerly.
     "Hey check it out she left skid marks when she pulled out."  Dandy said laughing pointing at the stained asphalt.
     "Dandy, Jesus!"  Emma said giggling.
     "You guys, I tried calling her two hours ago and she wasn't there, what if she got in an accident or something?"  Clint asked barely audible.
     "Clint, don't worry, I know Liv too well, she's probably sitting at Starbucks right now drowning her tears in coffee and fatting her worries with pastries."  Emma said jumping into the back of Jim's truck.  Jake jumped in after her and sat in the corner.
     "I am kind of disappointed in certain people's behaviors, tonight, I think it was rude the way certain people knew about her thing.."  Jake said pausing.  "And I think it was actually ruder for the one who was totally unbeknownst to it but was about him to be totally cold after all she did for him, she took you four strangers into her home and spent time and money on you!"  Jake pointed out.
     "What are you trying to say Jake, I kinda got it but I didn't."  Dave said.  "Did I screw up?"
     "No Dave, it wasn't you.. But that's all I'm gonna say because the guilty parties know who it is."  Jim interrupted into the conversation climbing into the cab.  Trinity climbed in next to him and stared at her feet.
     "What are they talking about?"  Clint asked Jake.  Jake shrugged.
     "To tell you all the truth, I think you all should be on the next flight back to wherever you came from tomorrow."  Andy told them.
     "Why because Liv for some reason not knowledgeable to any of us pouted and acted like a baby."  Bob said.  Andy's face contorted with anger.
     "The nerve you must have to say that about somebody who.. You know what, I bet when we get back there Liv wont be home.  We know her, we know her past.  You don't know her, and you never will."  Andy spit into his face.  Danny eased him into his car followed by Clint and Dave.
     They got to the complex that housed Liv and Emma's apartments were and found the manager Deana in my old apartment making the final checks on it.
 "Where's Liv?"  Jim asked.
     "She moved out a couple of hours ago, it was so sudden but a couple of young men showed up and helped her move out."  Deana said closing all the inside doors.
     "Well, did she leave a note?"  Clint asked anxiously.
     "No but she did leave this place spotless!  I was surprised, Liv has never been a very tidy young lady."  Deana commented.
     "What about our stuff did she take that?"  Bob asked impatiently.
     "She put some things in Emma's apartment, but we need to clear out of here so I can lock up."  Deana said.  They backed out and regrouped in Emma's apartment.  Emma had lured Trinity into a back room and was yelling at her, everyone could hear it through the wall.
     "And you know what!  You are so out of that band!  You cannot even sing on key!  Liv and I had been discussing that for a long time, before you even pulled shit!!  Jesus Trinity I thought you had half a fucking brain in between your satellite dish ears but I guess it's all fuzz like that mop you call hair on top of your head."  Emma yelled.  Trinity broke down.
     "Emma, I couldn't-"  She started.
     "It was apparent, remember the vow we made before we went to the gig that one time?"  Emma asked.
     "Emma this is stupid!!  I should be allowed to go out with anyone who likes me no matter if Liv adores him or not!  I don't care how insecure she is!"  Trinity yelled back.
     "Fuck you Trinity, you are no longer welcome to stay with me in my apartment, you can go back to Wenatchee for all I care."  Emma said leaving the room.
     "But Emma!"  Trinity yelled.
     "Don't you even you skank."  Emma said hucking a pop at Dandy who was nodding and one at Jimmy who was basically 'amen'-ing every word she said.  Emma took all of Trinity's junk and hucked it out the window while Bob and her were enthralled in a passionate kiss on her bed.
     "There you go.. Out of my fucking house!"  Emma yelled angerly.  After Trinity left reluctantly, Bob went off on Emma.
     "Why did she have to leave, what did she do!  I really don't get this whole thing and it's pissing me off."  Bob yelled.
     "Well you know what, maybe if you weren't such a creep and weren't so damn dense you'd know what was going on and you'd feel guilty about it but you have no brain or conscience."  Emma said dismissing him.  Clint was pacing back and forth around her living room.  Dave was glaring at Bob because Jim had told him what was going on and Scott who was also aware sat there with his head in his hands.  Then there was a knock on the door and yet another band mate, Dessa Smith showed up on the doorstep.
     "Hey Em, wow do you have a housefull."  Dessa said.  She was four months pregnant and nibbling on an apple.
     "We have an alteration in the band."  Emma informed her sinking down into the couch.
     "Huh?"  Dessa asked taking another bite out of her apple.
     "Trinity has been terminated."  Emma informed her.
     "Well it's about time she can't even sing on key!"  Dessa said throwing her core away. Jim laughed simply amused by her crack.
     "Yeah really, she was what was keeping you guys independent."  Andy said swigging his pop.
     "I'd really appreciate it if you didn't talk about my girlfriend like that."  Bob said.
     "Oh your girlfriend huh?  Didn't you hear her break up with you blue balls?"  Scott asked angerly.
     "Fuck off Scott."  Bob said annoyed.
     "Well then put everything in its right place, you are not Trinity's boyfriend."  Scott said.
     "Yeah that's James Swallford."  Emma said.
     "She had a boyfriend?"  Bob asked alarmed.
     "Twice as big as you, probably gonna kick your ass."  Emma said wrinkling her nose.
     "Where is Liv, I knocked on her door and she wouldn't answer, but it's like late."  Dessa said.
     "She took off on us during dinner."  Clint said pacing more uneasily.
     "And she apparently moved out within about two hours."  Jim said.
     "Because certain people suck."  Andy added, glancing down at his watch.  "Sheesh!  My chick is gonna kick my butt if I don't get home soon."
     "Yeah we all better be going."  Danny piped up.  All four of them got up to leave.
     "Okay, bye Jimmy, Jakey, Dandy and Dan the Man."   Emma said from the couch.
     "Bye Em."  They called in unison shutting the door behind them.
     "Do we have any idea where Liv is?"  Clint asked.
     "What is your big interest in it do you want to fuck her or something?"  Bob asked angerly.
     "Shut up asshole, at least he has some respect for people."  Dave said.
     "Yeah because of you we have no place to stay tonight."  Scott yelled.
     "Why is it me?  What did I do?"  Bob asked.
     "Shit you are dense!"  Dessa yelled at him.
     "Liv has had the hugest crush on you since forever."  Emma pointed out.
     "I thought that was apparent in the elevator."  Dave added.
     "Yeah really, sometimes Bob, you amaze me with your shallowness."  Scott said angerly.
     "Whatever, that is so stupid, just because I don't like her she throws this huge fit and turns everyone against me."  Bob protested.
     "You went after Trinity!  She has every disease in the world and a boyfriend!  She is a whore!  I can not believe you would have the nerve to call it stupid!  You are fucking stupid!  Liv is always getting passed up for her friends, I'd say its about time she did something about it!"  Dessa yelled into his face.
     "It's not my problem."  Bob said.
     "Maybe you should do your homework before you jump into things."  Scott advised.
     "You made it your problem."  Dave pointed out.
     "Maybe it is slightly stupid, but I do like Liv and I'm worried as shit about her."  Clint told him.
     "Clint.."  Emma stopped.
     "Oh how convenient she likes one identical twin that is a total asshole and the other that is sweet likes her!"  Dessa said.
     "I want to go find her."  Clint said.
     "Well, we can go talk to Deana just me and you maybe we can get something out of her."  Dessa said.
     "Anything, I just want to know she's okay."  Clint said following Dessa out of the door and down the stairs to Deana's apartment.  They knocked cautiously and Deana showed up at the door in a robe and curlers.
     "What can I help you guys with?"  Deana asked.
     "Well, do you have any clue where Liv went?  It's important."  Dessa said.
     "She told me not to tell anyone, she wanted to disappear."  Deana replied starting to shut the door.
     "Please, I like Liv a lot and I just want to know she's safe and I want to tell her how I feel about her."  Clint begged.
     "Wow, that's not something you hear coming out of somebody asking for Olivia France."  Deana said thinking.
     "Please!"  Clint begged.
     "Come in I'll give you the address."  Deana said.  They followed her into the apartment and watched her get into her files and pull out Liv's records, after gazing through the file she wrote something down on a sticky note and handed it to Clint.  He read it quickly.. 4739 University Way NE, Apt. 1606, Seattle, WA 98105.  They thanked her and hurriedly got on the road.  They found the complex and went to the manager's office asking where apt. 1606 was.  Two twenty-something guys were in there apparently the clean up crew.
     "Hello. Can I trouble you guys for directions to 1606."  Dessa asked.  They turned around.
     "How did you get her address?"  The dark haired one asked alarmed.
     "At her last complex."  Clint said hurriedly.
     "She was told not to give it out."  The blonde one said from behind him.
     "Well, this here guy, is in love with Livie."  Dessa said pointing at Clint who blushed.
     "Oh you're that bloke that left that message on Livie's machine."  The blonde one pointed.
     "Oh yes that bloke!  I am Kurt, this is Gavin.  We helped Livie move."  The dark haired one said.
     "Well, I'm Clint and this is her friend Dessa."  Clint told them.
     "Well 1606 is in the second building on the top floor and on the left."  Kurt told them.
     "Thank you so much!"  Dessa thanked writing the instructions down.  The two of them finally found my apartment and knocked.  I was in the middle of a relaxing bath listening to Aerosmith.  I jumped up and put my robe on hurrying downstairs hoping it was Kurt and Gavin.  Then I opened my door and Dessa and Clint were standing on my doorstep.  Clint blushed as soon as I opened the door.
     "What are you guys doing here, I made a point to tell everyone not to give my address to anyone."  I said annoyed.
     "Well they all made a special exception to us."  Dessa said sitting carefully on the couch.  Clint sat on a barstool at the little breakfast bar.
     "Wow this place is huge."  Clint commented.
     "Yeah I know, I don't have enough furniture for it though, two rooms are like bare or filled with boxes."  I told him.  He smiled warmly at me.
    "Wow and Dessa!  Aren't you pregnant!"  I laughed.
     "Yeah.. Cody is excited about his first child."  Dessa told me.
     "I'm sure."  I said with a grin.  Dessa glanced at her watch.
     "Wow it's almost midnight!  I better get home to Cody he's gonna be wanting dinner."  Dessa said.
     "Aight, Dess I'll see ya around."  I said helping her up off the couch and out the door.  After I closed the door, I was there alone with Clint.  I turned to him and he was getting up off the stool walking toward me.
     "So Clint whats up with you."  I asked.  He smiled joining me on the loveseat.
     "Did you get my message?"  Clint asked.
     "Yeah.  We were moving me out when you called."  I told him.  He smiled and put his arm up on the back of the couch.
     "I was just wondering if maybe we could go somewhere together now."  He said slowly.
     "Like a date?"  I asked getting up off of the loveseat.
     "A date, I want to go out with you."  He told me.  I smiled warmly, not exactly what I wanted to happen but I remembered what Scott had said earlier about my mould for the perfect guy.
     "Of course, I'd love to."  I said.  He smiled and bolted up, breaking the mould.
     "Well, I was thinking we could go to a movie or something."  He said glancing at me still in my robe.
     "Why can't we just hang here for tonight?"  I asked.
     "Well.. That could be nice."  He said slowly.  I smiled at him in an awkward manor, because I really had no idea what to say or do.  He walked over to me and put his arms around my waist.  "Why did you have your heart so set on Bob?" Clint asked.
     "That was stupid, it never works out how I want it."  I told him.
     "So, you don't like me?"  Clint asked.
     "No- you're better, Bob's sweet twin."  I reassured smiling at him.  He smiled back and then leaned in to kiss me.  When we broke away, I looked up into his eyes.  He was so sweet, but something was wrong about this, I think I had attached myself to him too much friendwise to be his girlfriend.  He took my hand and led me up to my bedroom, because he wanted to see the upstairs.  After he settled on a room to stay in, he returned to my room where I was unpacking some stuff, I had changed into my nightgown and was sitting on the floor.  Clint came in and plopped down on my bed.
     "Livie, come here."  Clint whinned.  I got up and walked over to him.
     "What?"  I asked.  He reached up and put his arms around me pulling me into the bed with him.  He pushed me under him and started kissing me.  I pushed him off.
     "Clint, I have stuff to do, really."  I said softly.  His arm went back around me.
     "Come on, Liv, I finally have you, can't we just make out?"  He joked leaning in to kiss me again.
     "Clint really."  I said pushing him away.
     "You need some help?"  He asked.  I sighed.
     "Sure."  I answered. He sat down where I had been sitting and pulled me into his lap.
     "There."  He said moving my hair so he could kiss the side of my neck.  "Now were both happy."  I shrugged and figured compromise was the best way to go as I finished unpacking.  After about fifteen minutes of Clint, I was bored and annoyed.
     "Well, I think I'm about off to bed."  I told him.
     "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow Livie."  He said taking off for across the hall.  After he had left I got to thinking about everything.  Clint was this pop star dude who's total fan base was female, and would be pissed and about 3/4's would be PMSing when the news got out, not only would I ruin Clint's career but I'd get the shit beat out of me by some fucking gorilla of a girl.  I did not see the point of it when I did not really know how I liked Clint.  I kept thinking what if we screw up friends, you know, all that would be left is lovers or enemies and sometimes enemies has to work.  Besides, he lived in Nashville for crying aloud.  He guys were at the prime of their career, all Seattle and any of us were to them was a two-week break, for which the first day of it was spent in confusion and heticity.  I decided to seek advise and got on the net, finding Kurt logged on his screen name englishdude420.
     "Hey Kurt."  I said instant messaging him.
     "Hey Livie, whats up?"  He answered.
     "Not much you?"  I asked.
     "Nothing, Liv you like that Clint bloke?"
     "Well I really should but I don't know."
     "Well, he seems sincere in being into you, but there are other options."
     "You sound like Scott :)"
     "Who's Scott?"
     "Another dear friend :("
     "Oh I see..  Anyways, whats with you two anyways."
    "Well right now I'm his girlfriend, but I don't know what to do, it does not feel right."
     "You're going out with him?"
     "Yeah."
     "Since when?"
     "Since like two or three hours ago..  Kurt, I don't know what to do I am in between a rock and a hard place right now."
     "I don't see, he's successful, loving and seems to be a good friendly bloke."
     "He lives in Nashville, has a career that I would ruin, and has female fans, that won't like me."
     "So?  If he loves you what does that mean anyways?"
     "Kurt get serious!  He is making millions, he lives with his brothers there is no way he is moving.. Besides...."
     "Besides what Olivia?"
     "I think of him too much as a friend."
     "Well then luv, maybe you should think it all over some more."
     "Maybe I should, thanks Kurt, I gotta go now though."
     "Okay see you tommorrow luv."
     "Later."
     I logged off and sat for a few more minutes before picking up the telephone to call Emma.  A male voice picked up on the fourth ring.
     "Hello?"  He asked.
     "Is Emma there?"  I asked.
     "Who is this?"  He asked snoopily.
     "Dessa, you ass, give Emma the phone."  I knew it was Scott.
     "Hey Dessa."  Emma greeted.
     "This is Liv, I just don't want to talk to them."  I told her.
     "Oh okay."  She said kinda laughing.
     "What did you do with Clint?"  She asked.
     "He's in the bedroom across the hall."  I told her.
     "Oh, okay we were wondering where he was at."  Then she covered the telephone and told the guys that they had found me and Clint was staying with me.
     "Scott wants to come stay with you.  Dave is staying at a hotel room down the street he was really tired and decided to just go to bed and sleep this all off and deal with it in the morning, and Bob is invisible to me so I don't know what his fix is."  Emma told me.
     "Scott can come, but I have to pick him up, blindfolded."  I joked.
     "Really?"  Emma asked interested.
     "No but Clint and I will come pick him up unless Clint is already asleep."  I said.  She covered the telephone and told Scott.  Bob knew it was me and picked up the extension.
     "Liv, I thought it was you, listen I'm sorry for whatever I did, but you can't expect me to just like put my feelings aside for everyone else and mature mine for you.  You are a hot girl, I just like Trinity right now."  Bob told me.  "I really want to stay good friends with you because I still like you a little even though I have to admit you really pissed me off and besides I need your advice, you seem to have been through it all."  I paused.
     "Well that's nice Bob at least you can sugar coat everything.  Good job, sorry you cannot stay here and boy do you have nerve to be pissed at me!  Besides that you know sure as hell I wont have my imput on your life so I advise you to hang up the extension before I come over there and kick you in the junk."  I said in a calm rage.  I heard a click and Emma was laughing.
     "Dude he got all pale and stuff!"  Emma said giggling.
     "Man do I have a problem maybe Scoot can help me out."  I told her.
     "What is it?"  She asked interested.
     "Clint asked me out."  I told her.
     "What did you say?"  She asked.
     "Yes.."  I trailed off.
     "Liv!!!  Sick!!"  Emma yelled at me.
     "He's not sick, but he's not my type, he lives in Nashville and I love him too much as a friend."  I tickered off my reasons to break up with him.
     "Well, why did you say yes then?"  She asked.
     "Because he's so sweet, he was right there when I was sad about Bob."  I told her.
     "Well still, that's no reason to associate yourself with that."  Emma said.
     "Emma!  He may be basically bald but he's my boyfriend at the time."  I objected.
     "When are you gonna dump him."  She asked.
     "Probably tomorrow, I don't think it will last much longer."  I told her.  Just then my door opened and Clint stepped in with a solemn face on.   "Hey Clint's still up tell Scott that we'll swing by to pick him up in about fifteen minutes okay?  Keep Boob on a leash for me will you?"  I asked her.
     "That's cool."  She said.  Clint was giving me looks.
     "Later."  I said hanging up.
     "So you don't like me?  You're gonna dump me tomorrow?"  Clint asked.
     "Clint...  Why were you eavesdropping in on my conversation?"  I demanded.
     "Well I was walking up the hall with this..."  He started dropping a pretty bouquet on my bed.  "And I heard you say you had a problem and wanted to know if I was involved."  Clint told me.
     "Clint, I do not know, Emma, you know, it does not mean."  I rambled.
     "Liv I thought you cared about me?"  Clint demanded.
     "I do.. Clint I really do."  I told him, he smiled and hugged me.
     "Was that all just Emma?  You know covering up?"  He asked with a half smile.
     "Clint there are some kinks in it."  I told him.
     "Oh God so you're gonna dump me?"  He asked.
     "No.. Not right now at least."  I told him.  He smiled.
     "I wish there was some way to make you see what I see in you, really, sometimes you sell yourself short, I adore you.  I do not know why but from the second I laid my eyes on you I felt like I was in love.  Liv maybe you need to see more in me, I mean, I care about you, I would never dream of hurting you and I'm nineteen almost ready to settle down and start a family or ready to live my twenties with my long time girl.  It matters what you want, I am willing to change my life to make you part.  You really shouldn't underestimate either of us or the relationship we will eventualy have."  Clint told me taking my hand.
     "I know Clint really, I do, I have been thinking about it all."  I told him.
     "Actually the way you talk it sounds like you've been thinking more about the bad part of it."  Clint pointed out.  I sighed.
     "Clint maybe you're right, but we'll have to finish this conversation in the car."  I told him.
     "No maybe you're right though too, I'll pass on picking up Scott, Liv, I'm gonna go to bed."  He told me getting up for his room.  I opened my mouth but nothing came out.  This was a disaster.  Part of me did care about Clint a lot, but I did not know where that part of me was, I just could feel it, when he was around.  It was not physical attraction, because I can safely say that I am in no way attracted to Clint Moffatt at all by just looks, I do not go for the very clean-cut type.  I ended up not being able to get Clint's mind changed and drove over to get Scott lone single.  Bob was waiting out there with him.
     "No uh uh."  I said shutting the door and locking it.
     "Liv come on, grow up."  Bob said.
     "Fuck off Bob, it's okay Liv, if you don't want to take Bob he can find a hotel."  Scott told me.
     "Fuck Bob, you coming or not?"  I asked him holding open the door.
     "Liv just grow up a little, you're holding a huge grudge against me for not wanting to fuck you I don't know about you, but that isn't very fair to me."  Bob protested as I drove off leaving him at the curb.  The ride home was silent and uneventfull and as soon as I got home, Clint was waiting for us standing downstairs.
     "Liv we need to talk."  Clint told me.
     "Okay hold."  I said showing Scott to his room.  After Scott knew his way around, I found myself sitting on Clint's bed watching him pace like a caged and nervous animal.
     "Liv I seriously need to know if you care about me, because I care for you a lot, but I can't bring myself to let myself fall in love with you if you're just gonna break up with me."  He told me.  I sighed and leaned back on his bed.  He plopped down next to me and smiled.  "Liv I really care about you."  He added wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead.
     "Clint.. I don't know how to describe this it's so confusing."  I told him.
     "You can talk it out, that’s okay."  He almost cooed stroking my forehead.  He had his face buried in my neck.
     "So are you gonna listen or suck on me?"  I asked.  Clint looked up laughing.  I smiled.
     "At least you've lightened up."  Clint told me.
     "I guess, anyways...  Clint see there are some difficulties in having a relationship with you."  I told him.  He rested his head on his pillow and sighed.
     "Go on."  He said rubbing his eyes.
     "First of all, you're this pop star dude and chicks are gonna mob and kick my ass..  I can only take two at a time, you know."  I told him.
     "You have the same security that we have."  Clint shook his head.
     "Clint maybe I don't want to live behind bars and have people wiping my ass for me."  I protested.
     "God, Liv, then I guess you don't care about me enough."  Clint sighed.
     "Oh don't you even start!  I am not asking you to give up life as you know it to be with me in a relationship that probably will not last anyways... You live in fucking NASHVILLE...  You are my friend's cousins, you are my friend..  Those are some pretty big problems."  I pointed out.
     "Move to Nashville with me."  He said taking my hands.
     "Clint I'm not moving to hickville for anyone, I play grunge rock, which is basically outlawed everywhere but a few garages here in Seattle where it was born.  I do not want to go out there and have all these hicks in tight jeans and shit kickers telling me that my music is old.  Their music hasn't changed since the fucking twenties, grunge has only been around since 1989."  I told him.
     "How do you figure that?"  Clint asked.
     "Nirvana's first album 'Bleach' came out in '89."  I told him.  He huffed.
     "I suppose I can move up here."  Clint said.
     "Is that in the cards for you guys right now?"  I asked him.
     "Not really."  He admitted.
     "Exactly my point."  I commented.
     "Liv, I care about you a lot, you're right there are gonna be problems.  But we'll overcome them when we get to that point."  Clint told me.
     "Fine Clint."  I stormed out of his room pissed totally at his stupidity.  Just then, there was a knock on my door and Bob was standing in the hall.
     "Clint let me in."  Bob told me.
     "Clint it's officially fucking over."  I yelled across the hall at Clint who dropped his sandwich on the floor.
     "WHY??"  Clint asked as I slammed the door in both of their faces.
 
 
Gave My Love To A Thousand Yesterdays
    When I woke up the next morning, a stern looking Clint was waiting for me to leave my room.
     "Liv, lets talk."  He told me pulling me into his arms.  I yanked out and glared at him.
     "You know how I feel about Bob, why did you let him in?"  I demanded.
     "Doesn't it seem stupid to cary a grudge forever?"  Clint asked.  I shook my head and stormed downstairs where Scott and Bob were content watching TV.  I took an extra key off my key ring and tossed it at Scott.
     "I'm going out for a while, you're in charge, if anything's busted or missing.  It's your ass."  I told him hurring out the front door.
     "Whoa whoa... Liv hold on here, we need to all sit and talk."  Bob said standing up.
     "No we don't bye."  I said shutting the door and walking to my jeep.  They followed me to my jeep but I just kept blowing them off.  I drove around town listening to Aerosmith, Beck, Blur, Foo Fighters, Jamiroquai, Jonny Lang, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Deftones, Metalica, Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine, Savage Garden, Jimmi Hendrix, NIN, Pearl Jam and Counting Crows, for a couple hours before deciding to spend some cash and go eat at the Needle that I had missed out on last night.  After I had been up there for about five minutes I heard sobbing in the booth next to me.  I was currious so went to talk to the girl who was bawling her eyes out.
     "Hey, whats up with you?"  I asked.  She looked up and I automaticaly recognized her.
     "Liv France!"  She exclaimed with recognition.
     "Katie Wine?"  I asked.  She nodded, she had changed a slight bit from the tomboyish soccer star I remembered her as.
     "Wow..."   She started, her brown eyes huge. "What a coincidince."  She said.
     "Yeah really!  I haven't seen you since sophmore year back at Assmont!"  I pointed out.
     "Yeah I know, you haven't changed a bit."  She told me.
     "Well, you've gotten rather girly?"  I said refering to her pink sweater, matching headband, flowered and pleated skirt, topped off with mary janes.
     "I hurt my knee really bad senior year and haven't played sports since then."  She told me.
     "Wow, I never saw that coming!"  I said shocked.
     "Yeah nobody did...  You still in some band?"  She asked.
     "Uh kinda, were kinda on a not speeking basis because of our friend's cousin."  I told her.
     "Oh fighting over him?"  She asked.
     "Kinda, it's a long long story, so why are you bawling over here."  I asked.
     "My fiancee and I just got in a huge fight and our wedding, which was in two weeks, is off..."  Katie burst out crying again.  "I really really loved him."
     "Shit...  And I thought I had problems."  I said leaning back in the booth.
     "On top of that, he's kicking me out of our apartment and I have no place to stay, unless I go back to Wenatchee until I get back on my feet and live with my mom."  She explained.
     "Actualy, I have a brand new apartment and I have some extra space, you could crash there until you get back on your feet."  I told her.
     "I couldn't that's really implying on you."  She said.
     "No actualy I'd like the company, I'm stuck with my ex, and his two brothers, they're all my friend Jimmy's cousins." I told her.
     "So you're fighting over your ex?"  She asked.
     "No.."  I smiled then enlightened her on everything that happened since Jimmy knocked on my door at three o' clock in the morning.  She smiled grimly and after chatting for a half hour we decided to go get her stuff.  I followed her to a Queen Anne Hill apartment complex where she apartently lived.  I followed her to the upstairs wing of the building and she knocked on the door.  Your average twenty-something hearthrob answered the door.
     "This is Liv, she's helping me move."  Katie told him.
     "Katie, sweetie, I didn't really mean it."  He told her taking a hold of her waist and leaning in to kiss her.  Katie pushed him away with anger brimming her eyes.
     "You think I'm gonna actualy come back to you?  You think I'm gonna forgive you for what you did and how you reacted about your own fault?  I don't think so Pete."  Katie said passing boxes my way.  I carried them down the stairs to my jeep, I had called Gav and Kurt while we were at the needle and they were waiting for me in the parking lot with their truck and the dolly.
     "Thank you guys so much, you don't know how much I appreciate you always being there to help me."  I told them giving them both hugs.  Just then there was a scream from the apartment building,  Kurt and Gavin jumped on it and were up there before I could even think.  Katie's asshole of a boyfriend was upstairs breaking her shit and threatining her because she didn't want to stay with him.  Gavin and Kurt told him to knock it off before they called the police, because Katie had the right to get her things.  Thank God we were out of there within five minutes.  Kurt drove Katie's car and she rode with me cause she was so broken up.  Once we got to my house the guys had took off.  There was a note on the fridge saying how they went out with Trinity and would be back in a couple hours.  I crumpled it up and threw it in the garbage.  Kurt and Gav helped me move Katie in and move Bob's stuff in with Scott, only temporarily of course.  Katie had to go run some errands, canceling the wedding and Gav had to go to his girlfriend's place.  Kurt had nothing better to do so he just hung around for a while.
     "Livie, what do these blokes got that I don't?"  He asked me while we were watching my Foo Fighters video.  I smiled.
     "Well I'll tell you what, they don't even hold a candle to you."  I told him.
     "Oh sheesh, luv, you don't have to go that far."  He said grinning.
     "Okay, you know everyone has an idea of their perfect mate in their head, you know their dream guy or in your case girl."  I told him.
     "Yes..  You lost me, dear."  He said laughing.
     "Anyways, I've always liked long-haired guys, brittish or austrillian accent, blue eyes, dark hair, tan.  Mmmm…."  I hinted.
     "Hey wait a sec there, luv."  Kurt said scratching his head.  "I have long dark hair, blue eyes, I'm tan and I have a brittish accent.."
     "Exactly so don't think you're nothing compaired to these fools."  I said pointing at the TV.
     "What about Clint?"  He asked.
     "What about him?"  I asked.
     "Do you like me better than him?"  He asked.
     "Clint, ha, come on Kurt, you have to see right through it right?  I've wanted his brother since I was like five, he has short hair, no accent and he's canadian!  Not even a french one!  He's got kinda dank eyes, not intense, see I like brown eyes too, but they have to be full of emotion, hence Bob."  I told him.
     "Yeah, and that Clint bloke is scrawny and white as a polar bear too."  Kurt laughed.
     "Yeah really."  I admitted.  Kurt smiled again.  We started moving in toward each other and before I really knew what was up I was in Kurts arms kissing him back.  Of course as life goes, the door whiped open as Kurt pushed his tongue between my lips.
     "Liv!!"  Clint screamed stunned.
     "Shit!"  Kurt said shooting up.
     "You're thinking shit man, get your fucking hands off my girl."  Clint said.
     "Clint I'm not yours!  I broke up with you yesterday!  Didn't you even listen to me!  You never listen to me!"  I screamed back.  Kurts arms went around my waist pulling me closer to him.
     "Fuck you."  Clint said pushing Kurt against the wall.
     "You want to take this outside, chum?"  Kurt asked.
     "Oh quit the bullshit ferry engilsh boy shit."  Scott said from behind Kurt.
     " You guys stop it!  I can go out with who I want, I hate all three of you!"  I screamed at them.  All three turned stunned.
     "Get your shit and get out of my house, I never want to see any of you asses again."  I demanded.  Just then Katie appeared in the doorway with a stunned look on her face.
     "Liv, sorry, please we have no where to go."  Scott said.
     "I'm leaving, I care for you so much  Liv, it hurts me so bad.. Eugh!"  Clint fumed stalking up the stairs into his bedroom.
     "God Liv!  You are such a hypocrite!  You hate me for liking Trinity instead of you and then you like Kurt instead of Clint."  Bob said.
     "Get the hell out right now."  I snarled.
     "Liv, calm down, please we all need to sit down and talk this over."  Scott said.
     "There's nothing to talk about, I want you all out of my place."  I yelled.
     "No."  Scott said catching Clint before he left, tears were streaming down his face.  Kurt stormed out of the apartment slamming the door angerly behind him.
     "I hate you all, you come into my life and you ruin it.  At least I gave Clint a chance Bob, more than I can say for you, besides!  If you asswhipes would have never come here right now, I'd be happy!!"  I laughed angerly.  "Kurt will probably never talk to me again!  You guys I don't even owe you anything!  I was doing Jim a favor and all you're doing is pissing me off more and more!"  I screamed.
     "Liv, calm down, don't worry about Kurt, he'll cool off.  I'm sorry about my words in it, I just don't want to see Clint hurt."  Scott said.  Clint was bawling at his side.
     "Listen."  Bob started.
     "Okay lets just cut it, were friends, let me cool off, you all cool off, we'll talk later."  I told them rising from my chair.
     "But Liv.. I'm in love with you, please let me.."  Clint trailed off.
     "Clint get over it, I got over Bob, just say I'm a bitch or something.  I think Bob's an assfucking, son of a bitch, motherfucking, donkey eating, dickless, sack of monkey shit, diseased, heartless, fag loving, fucking jerk, asswhiping dickweed,  assramming dillhole, fudgepacking, crotch cricket infested, turd burglarizing sack of mucus, masterbating, nuts for brains, hypocritical bastard and I hope he rots in hell and that's my honest opinion."  All of their mouths dropped open.
     "Wow.."  Bob said.
     "That’s a lot of angst."  Scott commented.
     "Yeah, but I don't hate you, Livie, I love you, and it scares me because I don't think I've ever loved someone like this and I'm gonna lose you and …"  Clint trailed off.
     "Clint come on, this is kinda creepy like on the Craft when she casts the spell on Skeet Ulrich to want her but it turns creepy.  Clint, I know I'm not the one for you, there are so many many people out there that would give anything to be with you and that’s about it.  Scott it seems like there are still some things you need to learn, that will come, until then keep being there for people and your karma will only brighten to match your aura.  Bob, I admitt I was being a hypocrite and I'm sorry okay, things happen, I guess I know how you feel.  It's not really even you I'm pissed at it's Trinity she knew you didn't have the shadiest, besides just so you know she has always drooled over Clint and said you were an ugly long-haired faggot, she's only doing this to piss me off.  And don't think I'm lying I have it on tape from last time we went on tour, if you want to see it the tape's marked Twitch 02-03.  So seriously we need to all cool down and everyone can meet our new member of our little group Katie tonight over dinner that I will order from some resteraunt, however, Trinity is definently not invited and don't push it."  I admitted.
     "Well see, the thing is, Trinity has a boyfriend, and I only like her as a friend anymore anyways."  Bob told me.
     "Yes I know Trinity has a dude that will totally beat your ass."  I told him.
     "Okay then it's settled."  Scott said.
     "Wait, Liv please just tell me why you dumped me is it over Bob?"  Clint asked.
     "No it's because of what I talked to you about the other night, just figure it's too much of a hastle to have a romantic relationship with any of you at the present time."  I told him.
     "But maybe further down the road like if you guys get on a label or something?" Clint asked.
     "Then there might be a possibility, I don't even understand why you guys can walk around this city and not get attacked."  I pointed out.
     "Easy, don't you notice we wear hats and long coats everytime we leave your place?"  Bob asked.
     "Well I guess I do now."  I grinned.
     "So we're all settled, that’s enough no more talking for right now."  I said.
     "Fine it's agreed."  Scott said.  Clint reluctantly nodded and Bob grinned.
     "Okay truce everyone."  I said.  Just then the phone rang and I ran over to pick it up.
     "Hello?"  I asked.
     "Liv?"  It was Emma.
     "Yeah whats up?"  I asked.
     "Trinity moved out, she's going back to Wenatchee, says she hates city life and her and James are gonna elope or something like that."  Emma said out of breath.
     "Sick!!!"  I screamed.
     "Dude I know, James!  Yuck!"  Emma groaned.
     "What?"  Clint asked over my shoulder.
     "Hold Em."  I said covering the phone.
     "Trinity is eloping with James!!  He's so gross!"  I announced.  Bob's face fell totally and Scott glared.  "Dude he is so sick!  Ugh!"  I commented.  Bob looked pissed.
     "Thanks Liv, that will be enough."  Bob growled.
     "It's not my fault buddy, calm down you'd find out eventualy.  Blame Clint for asking."   I said returning to the phone conversation.
     "Now Bob is pissed again."  I informed her.
     "Oh well he's a jerk anyways."  She answered.
     "I guess."  I said slowly.  Then my phone started beeping.
     "Hold Em, I gotta beep."  I said before switching over.
     "Hello?"  I asked.
     "'Ello?  Is Liv there?"  Asked a male voice.
     "Hey Kurt."  I said knowing automaticaly by his accent who it was.
     "Hey Livie, we need to have a little chat you want to stop by my apartment in a couple minutes?"  He asked.
     "Uh sure hold on I have Emma on the other line."  I told him.
     "Finish your conversation with her and come down here in five."  He said sternly.
     "Okay, bye."  I said.
     "Bye, luv."  He sighed.  I heard the phone click, he was pissed I could tell.  I switched back over to talk to Emma.
     "Hey, I gotta go I'll call you a little later."  I informed her.
     "Aight, peace."  She answered.
     "Peace."  I said.  After hanging up the phone I realized how incredibly pissed Bob was.
     "Is he better than me Liv?"  He asked me angerly.
     "Who Bob?"  I asked.
     "This James guy."  He spat it out like a bad piece of food.  I sighed and gave him a hug.
     "In my eyes he doesn't hold a candle to you.  It's all good."  I told him hugging him.
     "Thanks Liv, but about Trinity."  He started.
     "Trinity has fucking crabs, you in a big hurry to get in her pants?"  I asked irratibly checking my makeup in my mirror.
     "No, that’s not what I mean, why did she not pick me?"  Bob asked.
     "She was playing you!  How many times do I have to spell it out, ask Emma, ask Jim ask anyone who knows her."  I said reapplying my eyeliner.
     "What a bitch."  He replied shortly.
     "We knew all along, she lives back in Wenatchee again."  I told him putting my pencil back in my purse.  I checked my watch.
     "I have to be somewhere now, you guys can handle a couple hours to yourselves right?"  I asked.
     "Of course, it seems like a blessing."  Bob told me.  I hugged him again.
     "Don't worry yourself, it doesn't help.  In my room in the circular box thing with the collage that has Jonny Lang, the MTV logo, Homer Simpson, Marcy Playground, Einstien, Rob Thomas and Jay Kay's hat on it, just to name a few.  There is some incence, take the stick light blue kind, that's for relaxation and light it and just read for a couple hours."  I said getting up out of his lap.
     "Alright Liv, thanks."  He said.
     "No prob, and Scott you need anything, you guys can call my cell."  I said pointing to the fridge where the number was posted.
     "Okay."  He said sinking back in a chair.
     "Bob actualy it might be more relaxing for you to sit out here and light it, and watch that Nirvana vid you've been eyeing since yesterday."  I suggested.
     "Thanks Liv."  He said getting up to get the incence.
     "And I have chenile throws in the linen closet theres 2 blue ones and 3 green ones, they're really soft."  I added then I checked my watch again.  "But I really have to go so catch you all later."  I said bolting out the door.  I high tailed it to Kurts apartment and knocked.  He opened the door with a smile on his face, it was totally dark in his apartment, all the drapes were shut.
     "Man it's so dark in here."  I commented as he shut the door.
     "Oh I tend to do that sometimes, you want it brighter?"  He asked walking toward the window.
     "No it's fine Kurt, so whats up?"  I asked sitting on his sofa.
     "Liv see, I like you a lot and all and I'm twenty-three quite a bit older than you."  Kurt said.
     "Kurt only five years."  I pointed out.
     "Yeah, but you know, I just want you to know what you're getting in to before you do it."  He sighed and leaned back in the sofa.
     "What do you mean?"  I asked him.
     "Gavin's moving in with his girlfriend, you know, she's pregnant, their engaged."  He started.
     "And you're point is…."  I said.
     "I don't want to waste my time with you if you aren't ready for a serious relationship.  I saw how you just kinda shrugged Clint off."  He started.
     "Waste your time?  Whoa there."  I said angry getting up from the sofa.
     "Liv I was being rather blunt, forgive me dear."  He admitted.  I plopped back down on the couch next to him.
     "To tell you the truth Kurt.  I'm not looking forward to getting married, pregnie and then getting all old and talking to my dentures."  I told him.  He smiled.
     "Well I'm not asking you to marry me right now and sleep with me tonight so we can conceive."  He said his voice dripping with his sexy brittish accent.
     "I know…  Hey let's give it a try or something."  I told him.
     "Alright, luv."  He said putting his arms around my waist and leaning in to kiss me.  I closed my eyes hapily as his strong arms latched around my waist.  Just as we had really started getting into it my cell rang, and it came as no surprise.
     "Liv, it's Clint, I want to talk."  Clint said.
     "Clint, I've moved on, you need to too, we went out from like eight PM last night 'till like this morning.  What is your trip?"  I asked hanging up immediately and turning the phone off.  I smiled at Kurt who shrugged and ran his fingers through his dark hair.
     "You want to go somewhere where we can actualy be alone."  Kurt asked quietly.
     "Sure.."  I replied turning my cell phone totally off and hucking it's lifeless case into my purse.
     "Alright then, my dear come with me."  Kurt said offering his arm.  We drove out to Sholeshoe Bay and he led me out onto a dock to a really beautiful yacht.
     "What are we out here looking at rich dudes boats?"   I asked him.
     "Actualy, Luv, this is mine."  He said climbing in and showing me the keys.
     "Wow, how did you get a yacht?"  I asked as he helped me in.
     "My father owned it, he loved boating, he saved his whole life and by the time his retirement and social security added onto his savings he was able to buy it."  He told me.
     "So it really isn't your's, it's your dads?"  I asked.
     "My father died two years ago from heart failure."  He mumbled glumly.
     "Oh my God Kurt, I didn't know, really.. I'm sorry."  I rambled feeling really bad about it.
     "Shhh.. Don't fret it you had no way to know."  He said taking me into his arms.
     "But-"  I started.  He held a finger up to my lips.
     "Shhh.."  He insisted putting his arm back around me and leaning in to kiss me.  We ended up out in the middle of the sound while the sun was setting, it started to get really cold after the sun went down but there was a heater on the boat(go figure).  Despite it being like twenty below(okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit), we sat out on the deck and starred at the stars.
    “Wow it’s so pretty, the water, the city, the stars…”  I rambled.
     “You…”  Kurt finished wrapping his arms around me.  I smiled and kissed his cheek.  He kissed me back on the lips.  I felt a trickle of guilt go through me for leaving my heartbroken friend with Clint.  That could not be good.  Actually though, Clint was good for listening.  I smiled contentedly.  Kurt sat me down on one of the blankets he had brought out and wrapped another around our shoulders.
     “Look at the sky.”  I told him.
     “Yeah, there’s my lucky star..”  He told me pointing at a star.
     “You actually believe in luck?”  I asked him.
     “Well, I got you out here didn’t I?”  He asked smiling.
     “Oh so I’m just luck?”  I asked.  He smiled and laid down on the deck smiling at me.
     “And so much more, luv.”  He told me.  He pulled me beside him and gave me a kiss.  The two of us made out for about an hour and a half before he docked the boat and drove me home.  He led me up to my apartment and gave me a goodnight kiss.
     “Livie, dear, I’m growing quite attached to you.”  He told me.
     “I’m afraid, I feel the same way toward you.”  I replied.  He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again before turning and leaving for his room.  I opened the door to an empty living room.  I walked around the house calling to Clint and Katie and finally decided that they were not home.  So I went upstairs and took a shower.  Once out I realized I was not alone in my room.
 
Seaside Suicide
    Lone behold my dear friend Clint was balled up in the corner of the room beside an off the hook telephone.
    "Clint what are you doing in my room?"   I demanded, "Are you stoned?"
    "Jesus, Liv!"  He screamed at me.
    "No I'm not Jesus."  I said slowly.
    "It's your fucking fault." He accused.
    "What this time, did you get high cause I wouldn't fuck you or something?"  I asked sharply.
    "Fuck you Liv!"  He screamed at me standing up.
    "Will you throw me a fucking bone already?"  I asked.
     "Why should I?  You'll probably be thrilled."  Clint said angerly.
     "Try me asshole."  I said.
     "Dave just..  Dave he's.."  Clint trailed.
     "What’s with Dave?"  I asked concerned.
     "He fucking killed himself!"  Clint yelled in my face.  I was stunned this was so out of character for Dave, really, he's just like the happy-go-lucky type.
     "What did he do?"  I asked softly slowly sitting on the bed.
     "We were down at Shoshole Bay and we were all fighting about.. breaking up because were getting older, and I want- wanted to stay here with you.  Bob wants to stay but Scott wants to go back to Nashville next week like we planned."  Clint started.
     "What happened?'  I asked putting my hand on his arm.
     "Dave didn't care, he was neutral like usual.  And Scott went off on him about being a little robot and doing everything he wanted him to do.   Then Bob told him that his girlfriend from back home Kristyn called and said that she was pregnant with our friend Daniel's kid, which we had vowed to hide from him.  He starting screaming 'Fuck you' at us and he went at Scott.  He pinned Scott then got up and jumped in front of a Semi truck!  We had to hear the cracking of his… his bones.. My brother, my blood, all over the street, they said he has very slim chances of surviving."  Clint explained.
     "How the fuck is this my fault?"  I turned on him angerly.  Clint shrugged and put his arms around my waist.
     "It isn't really, it's our faults…"  Clint admitted crying into my shoulder.
     "Well, where's Katie?"  I asked.
     "I haven't even met her, how would I know?"  Clint asked.  I got up and stalked into Katies room, I explained to her that my friend committed suicide, and she needed to stick by the phone until Clint and I got back.  We took off to the hospital where Emma, Scott, Bob, Jim, Andy, and Danny were.
     "Hey guys…"  I said then I noticed someone was missing.  "Where's Jake?"
     "He bailed on us.. to be in some indie band called M-pact or something."   Dandy told me.
     "Pack..  Hmmhmhmh…"  I muttered.
     "Anyways.."  Jim said with a small smile spreading over his worried face.
     "How's Dave-o?"  I asked sadly.
     "He's comatose."  Danny said sitting down in one of the chairs.
     "Oh, can we go see him?"  I asked.
     "Yeah.. They say he can hear us, or so they think.."  Scott said softly.
     "Alright."  I said folowing them into the room.  Dave looked so helpless in a full body cast and his face all stitched.
     "Oh God Dave-o make this a lot less serious than it looks."  I said gripping his fingers.
     "Dave were all here now."  Scott told him.
     "Look were not fighting, wow, sorry Dave really sorry."  Bob said resting his head on Dave's casted bicep as he sat down in a chair by the bed.
     "Dave pull through, were all praying for you."  I said touching the gnarled skin of his face.  "I have to call Kurt, Gavin and Dessa, they knew him a bit too."  I said whipping out my phone.
     "Fill in Katie."  Clint said.  I nodded sitting in Bob's lap while I  called.  He rested his head on my shoulder and listened into my calls.  After all of them had agreed on coming I hucked the phone at Scott so he could call his parents.  Then I turned back to Dave.  I actualy found a few strands of hair poking out of the cast and braided them capping them off with beads off the necklace my mom had given me when she came back from Hawaii when I was 15, they were puka shells and at the time they were the rage.  What was left of my busted necklace I tied around his wrist.  I fell asleep in Bob's lap leaning up against Dave.  When I woke up Kurt and Gavin were added to the sleeping crew along with Dessa and her fianncee Chris.  After two weeks in the hospital, the doctors were talking pulling the plug.  The boy's parents had flown in and our group had shifts, Dave was never alone.  One day, Bob and I had a shift and they had just removed the cast.  I washed his hai, what wasn't burnt off and braided all of it that I could ending each braid with puka shells.  It looked okay actualy because his hair had grown out so it would sit flat on his head and not spike out.  Bob was sitting in the chair staring off into space when I saw Dave blink.
     "Bob, he blinked, I am not shitting you."  I told him.  Bob bolted up to my side and pulled his eyes open.
     "Ouch."  Came the reply from Dave.  We looked at each other and then I screamed.  The doctors rushed in as Dave reached to rub his dialated-from-sleep eyes.  We were pushed out of the room but an hour later everyone came in to see Dave back.  He smiled up at me when I entered the room.
     "Livie, you are such a sweetie."  He said reaching up to hug me.
     "She spent like the whole day braiding your hair."  Bob grinned.  He smiled up.
     "I know she did, I heard everything everyone said well almost, I slept some of the time but other times I just couldn't get my eyes to open, it was wierd."  Dave explained.
     "Thats okay, I'm just glad you came to."  His father reassured.  After Dave was released from the hospital it taught us not to take our lives for granted and the media was a real bitch.  Once back home we had our regular group arguments, and I ended up taking off at high speed into the night because I was so pissed off.
     "Hey."  The Scott and Bob said in unison as they entered the apartment.
     "Any new developments?"  Kurt asked shining an apple on his flannel shirt.
     "Nope, but I think that Liv is okay because I thought I saw her at the southcenter Starbucks."  Scott said.
     "Great, anyways..."  Katie said.
     "Anyways what?"  Bob asked.
     "How's Dave?"  Katie asked..
     "Dave is sleeping, at Jims, and has to go back to Tennessee period."  Scott said softly.
     "Why?"  Katie asked.
     "Does that mean we all have to go back?"  Clint asked.
     "Whats so great about Tennessee?"  Kurt asked.
     "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"  Gavin asked.
     "One at a time!"  Scott protested holding his hands to his head.
     "Why?"  Katie asked.
      "Because the doctors said that Seattle is too stressful for Dave and he needs to go back where his family is and relax."  Scott informed them.
     "Does that mean we all have to go back?"  Clint asked.
     "When it cuts right down to it.. . Yeah we do."  Scott said.
     "Whats so great about Tennessee?"  Kurt asked.
     "Nothing really its just another place."  Scott answered.
     "Can Clint get anger management classes down there?"  Gavin asked.
     "That wasn't your original question, too bad I had a good comeback for that.  Why does Clint need anger management classes?"  Scott asked.
     "Ah Ha!  Never answer a question with a question!"  Katie caught him.
     "Butt out."  Gavin said.
     "You go butt out."  Katie said sullenly.
     "Shut up both of you...  And stop talking about me."  Clint said.
     "Don't tell me to shut up faggot boy."  Gavin said picking Clint up by the shirt and throwing him into the wall.
     "Look he can be my anger management partner!"  Clint said as he fell to the floor.
     "Faggot."  Gavin repeated.
     "Anyways.."  Katie said.
     "Yeah back on track, what are we doing about Liv?"  Scott asked.
     "Let her mosie on home..."  Katie suggested.
     "Mosie?"  Clint asked.
     "Yes."  Katie confirmed.
     "We have to stop letting her watch John Wayne movies."  Clint laughed.
     "HEY!!"  Katie protested.
     "Come on everyone loves John Wayne.. Let's get on with life now."  Scott said calming the group.  Just then, I walked into the room looking insanely mad at everyone.
     "You guys have any stupid arguments while I was gone?"  I asked.
     "Yes we did, as a matter of fact, without you, the inventor of stupid."  Scott shot at him.
     "Shut up Scott."  Bob shot back.
     "You want to make me you faggot?"  Scott asked.
     "Hell yeah."  Bob said pushing Scott.
     "Okay okay enough of this pointless mutilation."  Katie said separating the two.
     "Mutilation?"  Bob asked.
     "Yeah you were about to get your ass kicked."  Katie said.
     "Hey!" Bob protested.
     "Yes?"  Katie asked.
     "You need to shut your fuckhole Katie."  I piped up from the kitchen where I was making myself a plate of Nachos.
     "Liv!"  Clint said.
     "That's the way luv."  Kurt said pulling me to his side.
     "Excuse me, I was making nachos."  I said snottily, slightly angry with Kurt.
     "Sorry luv."  Kurt laughed.
     "So what are we doing until tomorrow?"  Katie asked.
     "Camping out here?"  Scott asked my permission.  I turned from the microwave and saw Bob, Gavin, Kurt and his pleading eyes.
     "Alright but for one night, and nobody disturbs my sleep."  I said.
     "Alright fine.."  They agreed reluctantly.
 
Dream On
     I woke up the next morning and everyone was gone, I assumed to go get Dave.  So I just hung out in the kitchen and made myself lots of coffee.  I was watching the news and reading some letter I had gotten from my friend from Oklahoma, when apparently Seattle had finally caught on to having celebrities in town that don't already live there and were reporting live from Harborview Medical Center talking to Scott, Bob, Clint, Katie, Gavin, Jim, Kurt, Emma, Dessa and a pale Dave.
     "What put you in this state Mr. Moffatt?"  The reporter asked.
     "Hey man, that's none of your business."  Katie cut in.
     "Yeah, really."  Dave agreed.  The reporter looked surprised.
     "Well then, how long do you expect to be staying here in Seattle?"  The reporter asked.
     "For a while, I'm thinking about moving here."  Scott said.
     "What about Dave?"  The reporter asked.
     "I'm gonna have to go back to Nashville in about a week, then I may come back later."  Dave explained.
     "Clint?"  She asked.
     "Going with Dave."  Clint said shortly.
     "Bob?"  She asked.
     "I don't know yet."  He said.
     "Are you going to be doing any autog-"  She started.
     "No, this is purely recreational, we came up here to be with our cousin Jim for Christmas."  Dave said.
     "Sorry to hear that.  We heard that you have been staying with a Seattle resident beside your cousin, is she any of yours girlfriend?"  The reporter asked.
     "Liv is one of my best friends."  Jim stated.
     "Yeah, she's a friend."  Dave said.
     "I went out with her for like a day before she broke up with me."  Clint said.
     "She's my girl."  Kurt piped up.
     "Oh, I see.  This is Q13 news, more at five o' clock tonight."  The reporter said.
     I  just sat there for a minute taking in the findings of the day.  Then I got up and hopped in the shower, got dressed and put my face on and my contacts in and then barely got downstairs before the group came in.  I pushed through the crowd and left the apartment.
     "Dude, where did Liv go?"  Clint asked.
     "I don't know."  Scott answered.
     "Look she made coffee!"  Katie exclaimed pouring herself a cup.
     "You guys, I lied today about her being my girl."  Kurt started.
     "What?"  Bob asked.
     "She dumped me last night when I came in to tell her goodnight."  Kurt said looking at the ground.
     "Oh Kurt... Poor Kurt."  Katie said getting up and giving him a hug.
     "I thought she liked me, it was totally unexpected."  Kurt said.
     "Well, she's going through a lot right now."  Katie said.
     "Yeah, I hope she'll reconsider later."  Kurt agreed.
     "I bet she will, you are a great bloke."  Katie said.
     "Thanks Katie."  He replied.
     "Anyways, isn't it kinda weird that were all in here and she isn't?"  Scott asked.
     "I say we trash the place."  Emma said.
     "Emma, I've had it up to here with you."  Dessa said.
     "Yeah Emma it's getting old."  Scott said.
     "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, care, care if it's old."  Emma sang.
     "Shut up."  Scott said grumpily.
     "Yeah, you can't sing bitch."  Bob agreed.
     "Shut up Boob.  Like you would know a good voice if it bit you guys in the ass.  Scott is Mr. I-love-n'sync-so-that-ugly-sluty-preppy-chicks-will-like-me-and-i-love-BS-because-i-think-i-can-get-a-piece-of-ass."  Emma said.
     "Shut up!"  Scott said smacking her.
     "Go to hell fucker."  Emma said pushing him over into the Christmas tree.  The tree fell over and she started ransacking the apartment elsewhere.  Bob finally caught a hold of her and kicked her ass out.
     "Dude we have to get this cleaned up before Liv gets home."  Bob said.  All of them kicked their asses into high gear to be done.
     "I don't see why we have to clean up Emma's mess."  Katie said.
     "Because Liv will get mad and probably kick you and Clint out into the street."  Scott said.
     "And I want to stay here again tonight, I like it better here."  Bob said.
     "I want to."  Scott said.
     "There is one room left."  Dave reminded.  "And it's mine."
     "No way!"  Bob protested.
     "Dave share with me, Bob and Scott can share like always."  Clint said.  The three boys looked at each other and then agreed with Clint.  Then I come in the door with armfuls of presents I had stashed at my aunt's house.  Today being Christmas Eve's Day I had to go pick them up.
     "LIV!! My best friend!"  Dave said eyeing the packages.
     "Yes, there are a few in there for you."  I said with a grin.  He smiled back.
     "Dave I'm so glad you are okay."  I said giving him a hug.  Just then, Katie gave me the evil eye.  Then I caught on to it.  Katie liked Dave.
     "Hey Dave-o do you like Katie?"  I asked.  Katie's mouth fell open and she looked like she was going to kill me.
     "Well, yeah.. Kinda."  He said blushing.  Katie I swear was about to pounce on me and choke the life right out of me.
     "Katie?"  I asked.
     "Of course, Liv, you had to do that!"  Katie protested.  Dave laughed.
     "Well, if we both like each other we should go out to dinner tonight."  Dave said.
     " It's Christmas Eve."  Katie pointed out.
     "So you think were indebted to stay with these guys.. No way."  Dave said laughing.
     "Hey, no Christmas presents for Dave for being naughty on Christmas Eve."  I said laughing.
     "LIV!!"  The whole apartment exclaimed.
     "Fine, I'll shut up."  I said.
*********************************************
     Later that night, I was alone with Kurt.  The boys were with Jim, Jake, Andy and Danny.  Dessa was with her dude, Gavin was with his sister who lived in town, and Dave and Katie were out.
     "So you want to go out and get a bite?"  Kurt asked.
     "Not really, we should just hang here."  I suggested.
     "That's cool."  He said putting his arm up on the back of the couch.  I changed the channel to MTV and started watching Beavis and Butthead Christmas.  "Liv?"  Gavin asked.
     "What?"  I replied.
     "Why did you dump me?"  He asked.  I looked up at him giving him a weary look.
     "Because.. I don't know, I don't have time to be chained to a guy now."  I said.
     "You don't have to be chained to me luv."  He said.  I gave him a look in the corner of my eye.  His face fell and he looked at his shoes.
     "Kurt, you are an amazing guy, but you are looking for someone to settle down with and I can't do that right now."  I told him.
     "We can stay casual for a while.. Yes, we can.  I'm twenty three and I want to start a family."  He said.
     "Well I'm nineteen and I'm not ready for that yet."  I told him.  Then I looked at him funny. "You're acting like this is going to lead to marriage or something."  I said.
     "I really don't know what this is going to lead to."  He said.
     "Well, I think maybe we should just be cool for a while."  I said turning off the TV.
     "Okay, does that mean you'll go out with me?"  He asked.
     "No that means we are gonna stay good friends."  I told him.  He frowned.
     "Alright."  He agreed.
     "So, now that that's done, Jim called twenty minutes ago and were sposed to go over there."  I said grabbing my coat.  Kurt grabbed his coat and we walked out to my car.  The way over was uneventful and when Bob opened the door and I dumped my smaller gifts for everyone under the tree I felt in the spirit.  After an amazing dinner(I did not think dudes could cook that well.) we decided to go caroling.  We got to Gavin's sister's house and laughed noticing them.  Gavin's sister was 7 months pregnant and festively dressed in green and red.  Her husband looked like a crack addict and just sat there while Gavin and her listened to us.
     "Dude."  Gavin said high fiving Kurt as we warmed up in the house.
     "Look, it's Gavin's chick."  Kurt said, pointing to a slender bunny rabbit looking woman.
     "Cool."  I said.
     "I wish I could be with Trina right now."  Bob said.
     "Well, then fly your STD prone ass to Wenatchee and leave me the fuck alone."  I said leaving.
     "Liv, don't ruin Christmas."  Clint called.
     "Fuck you motherfucker."  I said leaving.  I walked down the streets for a long time before I came across Katie and Dave sitting in a restaurant window holding hands and gazing intently into each other's eyes.  I just blended into the crowd and passed the window.  About a half-hour later, I found myself at the dock where Kurt's boat was.  I was sitting there watching the snowfall into the water when I heard crying.  I walked across the dock and realized it was coming from Kurt's boat and I knocked on the side.  Kurt shot up from the back with a tear-stained face.
     "Liv what are you doing here?"  He asked whipping his face.  "Shit all I need is for you to know I'm a fairy."
     "It is okay, sensitive guys are cool."  I said hopping on deck.  "Whats wrong?"  I asked
     "Well first off all you don't care about me, and secondly, you left in the middle of Christmas."  He said.
     "Am I really all that to you?"  I asked.
     "And then I saw Gavin and his girlfriend and he told me that she was 2 months pregnant and he's younger than me, and they're getting married on Valentines Day,  and the girl I love wont even hang around on the happiest day of the year."  He continued.  I looked at the ground and sighed, I had to do this it was the right thing.  I leaned in and kissed him on the lips.  His arms went around my waist and pulled me close to him.  After I broke away from his return kiss, I looked into his sparkling blue eyes.
     "Kurt, I can't stand to see you so unhappy."  I told him.
     "I won't be unhappy if I have you."  He said.
     "You know this will take a lot of getting used to on my part."  I told him.
     "Definently, but we will take it slow and easy."  He promised.
     "Okay.. Alright.."  I said as he leaned into kiss me.  I spent Christmas Eve with Kurt in his boat watching the snowflakes hit the water and drinking hot chocolate from a thermos.  Nevertheless, the talking that we did that night, really eased the tension between the two of us, and I felt started off the most important relationship of my life.
***********************************************
     "Katie.. You want to go back to Nashville with me in a week?"  Dave asked leaning over the table.
     "Why not?  I'm just stuck with Liv here who acts like a bad ass but cant pull it off."  Katie said.
     "Oh..  Well, Clint's coming too, I just need to know how many plane tickets to get."  Dave said.
     "Get yourself three."  Katie said with a warm smile.
     "This is great..  I can't wait to tell Clint."  Dave said.
     "But there is one catch.."  Katie said.
     "Isn't there with everything?"  Dave sighed.  Katie tilted her head to the side expectantly.  "Fine, what do you want?"  Dave asked.
     "Bob to come to."  Katie said.
     "Why don't we all go back!  Katie you know he is living here now. Period."  Dave said.
     "Well, don't snap at me."  Katie said.
     "I'm sorry, I was stupid to think you liked me."  Dave said.
     "I do."  Katie said with a slight bit of annoyance in her voice.
     "Then why the hell do you want Bob to come back with us?"  Dave asked.
     "That is for me to know and you to never find out."  Katie said with a sly grin.
     "Well is that the only way I can get you down there?"  Dave asked sighing.
     "The only way you'll get me down there happy."  Katie said.
     "I'll see what I can do then."  Dave said shaking his head slightly as he leaned into kiss Katie over the table.
*********************************************************
     When I walked into my apartment at nine o' clock in the morning Bob was sitting in there with Scott seemingly chatting over a cup of java.  When I walked in they promptly shut their faces and stared at the door.
     "What mischief did you two create without me?"  I asked feeling like my mother.
     "Nothing, actually we had a brotherly heart to heart."  Scott said sighing.
     "Whats up dude, you look totally bummed."  I said.
     "Well see Dave is like head over heels for Katie, who will only go back to Tennessee if Bob will go too."   Scott explained.
     "I see exactly what she's doing, and I know what my move is."  I said slamming down their cups in the sink.
     "What?"  Bob asked.
     "First of all, a couple of nights ago we agreed to tell each other who we liked out of the group.  Katie informed me that she liked Bob.  I admitted to that awful sin too.  Although, she seemed angry about it so I figure she used Dave to get Bob to Tennessee away from me, who he does not give a shit about anyways.  My move is kicking her ass out so she gets her medicine shoved up her ass and has no choice but to go with or without you."  I told Bob.
     "Oooh.. I got it."  Scott said with a devious smile.
     "Liv, I never said I didn't like you, that was all a misunderstanding.  Trina and I were gonna make it look like I wanted you so much that I'd dump her for you and all this shit.  But I guess it didn't turn out right."  Bob said.
     "Fuck no it didn't, you are denser than you look."  I said knocking on his head.  He laughed.
     "So anyways.  How bout you guys help me execute?"  I asked.
     "I'm in."  Scott said.
     "Yeah me too."  Bob said.
     "Okay this is what were gonna do…"  I said with a devious grin on my face.
 
 
Floyd The Barber
    Katie walked to my place through the snow from a bus stop at the corner of the next street over.  When she got there, she found a U-HAUL in front of my place and found Bob & Scott in workbelts with ponies.
     "Whats going on?"  Katie asked.
     "Oh, Liv can't afford free board anymore."  Scott said.
     "So you have to move.  Were getting a head start."  Bob said.
     "Where am I sposed to move?!"  Katie asked.
     "Well, Dave said that you were going to Tennessee with him."  Bob said.
     "So I suppose you're going?"  Katie asked with fake agitation.
     "Nope, Scott and I are renting out rooms here."  Bob said.
     "Oh.. where’s Liv?"  Katie asked trying to hid anger.
     "Boxing up your shit inside."  Scott said lifting the microwave into the truck.
     "What the hell is up your ass?"  Katie asked coming into the complex where I was carefully wrapping her belongings in bubble paper and Kurt and Gavin were taking down her entertainment center.
    "I can't afford it anymore, you are excess water, sewage, food, long distance and matenence.  I have people who will pay to stay with me."  I told her barely looking up.
     "But.. You said."  Katie said.
     "Look Katie, what comes around goes around and the top has been blown off this whole Tennessee thing of yours so it looks like your going Bob or not.  Which is not considering he's paid rent for the next year."  I said producing a check.  Katie glared at me and then stomped up the stairs.
     "Well now that that's all taken care of."  I said to myself just as Dave burst into the room.
     "Olivia Elane France!  I cannot believe you!  You are the biggest bitch!"  Dave yelled into my face.
     "Excuse the fuck out of me David."  I said sharply glaring down into his blazing eyes.
     "You can't stand me happy!"  He exclaimed pulling at the roots of his hair.
     "Huh!  You cannot stand me happy?  You are so stupid!  Can't you see through her!"  I screamed at him.  He looked up at me with the saddest look in his eyes.  "Uggh!"  I screamed pulling at my hair.  "I'm so sorry I brought her into everyone's life.. And I'm damn sorry I got involved with you, your brothers, Gavin, Kurt or anyone else."  I said leaning against the frame of the door.  "Why can't anyone see it?  Am I the only unblind one?  Why do I get myself in situations like this?  Fuck all of this..  I want my old life back, my old band, and my old apartment.  I want out.  I want to go home.  I want to leave Seattle."  I said shortly blowing a strand of my brunette hair out of my face.  Dave looked shocked.
     "Seattle is your home, your future, the people here know you, you have a chance here."  Dave fought.
     "I want to leave, I know exactly where to."  I replied popping an Advil.
     "Where?"  He asked.  I shook my head.
     "That's the beauty part, you won't know."  I said turning to leave.
     "Liv, wait, tell me the whole story."  Dave said stepping in front of me.
     "What whole story?"  I asked.
     "Between everyone."  He asked.  Katie appeared at the top of the stairs fidgeting with her scrunchie.
     "Let me help."  She said looking guilty.
     "Fine."  I said.  Bob and Scott who had been standing in the door to watch our theatricals joined us in the kitchen.
     "Alright, this is it."  I said.
 
Learn To Fly
    Look at me, it has been three years since all that.  Last I heard both Jim and Dave's bands are booming in business, and Katie is continuing college in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Trina and Emma own a recording studio in my old apartment on University Way that they dedicated to the life of Kurt Cobain.  Kurt and Gavin are in California for the summers and come back and stay with Trina and Emma in Seattle in the winters.  Sometimes I go and visit them.
     I am home now, or at least I feel like it.  I commute into Seattle every two weeks to go to school and the rest of the courses I take off the internet.  I now am living in Easton, Washington out in beautiful country for a few years.  I hope to go back to Seattle but for now I am perfecting my sound in my garage here.  I met the most wonderful guy, but of course, he has a beautiful girlfriend.  Isn't that how it always goes?  Somehow, though I feel like the whole Moffatt/Katie/Emma/Trina/Dessa/Jim thing is not over..  However, I guess I will never know.
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