"KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!" Jennifer heard someone knocking on the door, as she leaned against it. Jennifer didn't reply. "Jen? Are you there?" From the other side of the door, Jen could hear her very best friend Jennifer looking for her in a worried voice. How could she answer her now, knowing that her BEST FRIEND had betrayed her behind her back. "Jen, look. I know you're there, just open the door. PLEASE!" Tiffany pleaded. She didn't feel like talking to Tiffany, nor feel like listening to what she had to say. What else was there to explain. It was plain and simple, Matt and Tiffany were together. "Ok, if you don't open the door, then I guess I'm just gonna have to talk to you through here!" Tiffany started. "Look, it's not what it looks like! You gotta trust me Jen!" Jennifer rolled her eyes, still mad at what her best friend did to her. "Come on Jen, you know I would NEVER do anything like that, especially to you." More tears fled from her eyes, not knowing what to do next. Should she believe her best friend or trust her instincts. "I was just comforting Matt, that's all. It's been really rough for him these past days. He was just really down that you left with Brian, and he didn't know who to turn to!" Jennifer carefully listened, beginning to rethink what she had thought. "Matt likes YOU Jen, not me! I would never, EVER do anything to break our friendship. Best Friends Forever remember??!!!??" Jennifer stood to her feet and opened the door just before Tiffany could say another word and gave her a hug. "Thanks Tiff! I'm sorry!" Jennifer apologized for accusing her friend. "I should've known better!" she told her. "No prob. But the person you should be talking to right now is Matt. He's really hurt right now that you left with Brian." Jennifer looked to the ground. "Yeah, I know. But me and Brian are over..THANK GOD! I really like Matt Tiff, you were right!" "Man Jen, and it took you this long to find out?" Tiffany teased. "You know, he's like heartbroken right now. He never expected the show to end like it did. And you wanna know another thing? That night you called him to meet up with on Dreamer….." "OMG! You know about that?" Jennifer asked, laughing a bit. "Well Jen. You hurt him SO much." "I know, I know. I started talking about Brian at the end of our conversation." "No, not only that. When you called him and told him you wanted to tell him something, he thought you were gonna tell him that you broke it with Brian for sure so you could be with him." Jennifer's eyes widened, not knowing Matt had thought that. Now she was really mad at herself for not realizing how much he really cared about her. But it didn't make a difference anymore anyway, because she knew he would never forgive her for what she did today.
Tiffany quickly left Jennifer's house, knowing that she needed some time to herself. Practically pulling her hair out, Jennifer sat by her phone, waiting impatiently for it to ring. Why hasn't Matt called? Thinking of different ways to approach Matt and telling him exactly how she felt too, she couldn't bear to wait any more longer to hear his voice, so she decided to ring him. Slowly trembling while dialing his number, she took a deep breath and swallowed a big gulp, bracing herself for what she couldn't tell would happen. "Hello?" someone picked up. Jennifer's eyes widened, not knowing what to say. "HELLO?" the person asked again. "Uh, yeah! Hi! Ummm, may I please speak to Matt?" she asked politely, hoping that her nervousness didn't sound too noticeable. "No!" the person told her. She was in complete shock. "He's not here right now!" the voice told her, waiting for Jennifer's answer. "Oh!" Jennifer replied, followed by a pause. "Can you just tell him that Jen called, and that I need to speak with him ASAP?" "Oh, JEN! Yeah, I was suppose to tell you something. This is Dave, Matt's lil' bro, and he asked me to give you something before he left." "WHAT? Before he LEFT?" "I'll be over to bring it there in a minute alright? Bye!" he told her and hung up the phone. Jennifer remained silent with the phone still in her hand. The sound of the dial tone was heard and she slowly hung up her phone, completely overwhelmed. "Matt's LEAVING?" she asked herself, almost into tears. She slowly walked to her front door, as if she were staring into space. Her eyes remained at one spot, biting her finger nails and taking deep breaths, hoping not to give into her tears. "Matt is leaving." she told herself once more.
"DING, DONG!" the bell rang and Jennifer quickly headed to the door, eager to see what Matt had given her. She opened the door, seeing Dave standing by the steps, holding an envelope. "Here! Matt told me to give this to you!" he said handing it to her. "What is it?" Dave didn't reply, but just shook his shoulders not knowing either. Running to her room to open it, she quickly read the envelope. Jen, was what he wrote plainly, with his messy but cute handwriting. Slowly opening the envelope, she pulled out a sheet of white paper with something written in it. She then pulled out a cassette tape and placed it into her stereo, waiting eagerly for it to start. She smiled, having a feeling it would be the song "Dream On" recorded for her. Once the tape started, Jennifer discovered that it WAS a song, but not one that she had heard before. With a confused look in her face, she listened to the tape carefully. Then Matt began to sing….
"Been there, done that, One time too many This time I'm hoping You won't come back to me, Jenny" Jennifer's mouth dropped, the line "Won't come back to me Jenny?" OMG! She couldn't believe these words were coming out of his mouth. Matt had already gotten over her? She stood there, as her smile quickly changed into a confused, sad and hurt face. "Oh, when you get lonely, girl And you come on so sweet When things get better, baby You start to retreat So Jennifer goodbye (Goodbye) Don't wanna figure out why anymore (No more) Don't wanna be your fallback guy (Bye bye) I'm gonna take care of me (Jennifer goodbye)" Jennifer's eyes began to water. There were many times that she had been hurt before, but this time, it was too painful to hold in. She never expected words coming from Matt to hurt her so much. "There's been many nights When the pain was so strong (What could I do now?) And I waited for your call All night long (Waiting for you now) Then you'd come back girl (Ooh...) With that look in your eyes (Ooh...) And I'd always forgive you, baby (Ooh...) When you'd apologize "So Jennifer goodbye (Goodbye) Don't wanna figure out why anymore (No more) Don't wanna be your fallback guy (Bye bye) I'm gonna take care of me (Jennifer goodbye)" Sitting alone in her room, Jennifer realized that it had been too late. She never knew that making one mistake of leaving with Brian, and not knowing that Matt had liked her would make her feel so vulnerable. The words Matt said made her feel completely lonely and revolted with herself that an aching pain formed in her heart. Knowing that MATT, the guy she just realized she had the most awesome feelings for, was hurt just like her, but to make things worse, didn't want her anymore. Jennifer hated herself for not realizing everything in time to like Matt in return during the same time he liked her. And she hated herself for losing someone who meant the world to her. She pictured herself living Matt, and it just made her feel worse. Matt was gone for good, and he didn't want anything to do with her. What am I gonna do? she thought to herself. "Lessons get learned the hard way, I guess Each time you'd walk away girl I was a mess (Jennifer goodbye) Crying the night away, I must confess I thought that you cared (Ooh...) But you couldn't care less (Goodbye, goodbye...)"
THAT WASN'T TRUE! Jen really did care about Matt. It just took her a while to realize it. She took a deep breath, trying her best to hold back her tears, which she knew would fall down any second. She felt as if everything came crashing down on her. How could Matt hurt her so much by playing this song? Was it to help himself get over her? Or was it to make her realize what she lost? She was so confused and so downhearted, that she gave into her tears. They fled down her face, as Jennifer pressed the stop button on her stereo. She didn't want to hear the song anymore because it hurt her too much. Knowing the wrong she did, Jennifer just hated herself more and more and felt as if she was the stupidest person ever. The song crushed her, but she couldn't blame Matt for it. She knew that she was the one that didn't realize it soon enough, but no matter what she did, she felt as if her heart was breaking into tiny pieces little by little. Jennifer lay in her bed, crying and crying. She could feel the hot tears in her pillow. Just when Jennifer felt like she had lost all hope and wanted to try her best to give up on him, she remembered the envelope. Picking up the envelope from her nightstand with the name JEN written on the front, Jennifer slowly opened it again. Pulling out the letter, Jennifer took yet another deep breath, bracing herself for what she knew would crush her. She slowly opened the creases of the note, as she felt her heart beat faster and faster by the second. She read:
Dear Jen, I know it's all so hard to take in, knowing that I've liked you this whole time. You can't even imagine all the pain I'm going through right now, dealing with the hurt of knowing that I can never have you. Ever since the first day I saw you on the beach, I've always known there was this thing about you that was so different from everyone else. Just being around you makes my life feel like it's complete, but I guess it isn't. I meant everything I sang to today at the show, and you're someone I know that can't be replaced. I'm not writing this letter to tell you that I hate you, or that I'm mad at you for leaving me on that stage…because I'm not, and I never will be mad at you. You're too special of a person to me that I can never think of you in that way. I would NEVER be mad at you. No matter what you do, I know I'll just like you more and more. When I met you, I knew that you had opened the door to my heart. I know Jen, I'm such a SAP lol, but everything I feel for you is real. You've somehow managed to make the world feel as if it were perfect. Every time I'm with you, I know there's nothing that can give me a better feeling in my heart and not matter what you do and no matter what you don't do, I know I can never stop myself from having the feelings I have for you Jen. So I guess I just wanted you to know that I don't hate you or anything, nor will I EVER hate you. Though I may feel so completely hurt right now, I just want you to be happy. I hope you're enjoying your time with Brian. You deserve the best Jen, and if you think he is the best, then you best be with him. I'm leaving really soon to drive Dreamer around, and I'm thinking of staying with my cousins in Toronto this summer, because I can't bear watching you from a distance. Like I said, I can't live life a lie. I'm truly sorry that you can't share the experience of riding Dreamer with me today, but I'm sure you'd probably be catching a movie with Brian. I'd really like to stay, but I know that the moment I see you again, I won't be able to let you go, and that's something I have to stop myself from doing. You're with Brian now, and I need to accept that, and I think the only way I can help myself to get over you is to leave for a bit. My hand is starting to get tired, and I should really get going now. I could never say goodbye to you, because I know you'll always remain in my heart, so….C YA AROUND JEN! . I'm not too good at writing these letters, but just remember that I will never forget you. You're my dreamer, my wishing star, my everything! :) Always, Matt
MORE TO COME SOON!
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