ARTIST: Trad. and Anon.

TITLE: The Billboard Song





As I was walking down the street one dark and gloomy day

I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay

The sign was torn and tattered from the storm the night before

The wind and rain had done it's work and this it what I saw



Smoke Coca-Cola Cigarettes, chew Wrigley's Spearmint beer

Ken-L Ration Dog Food keeps your wife's complexion clear

Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar

And Texaco's the beauty cream that's used by all the stars



So take your next vacation in a brand new Fridgidaire

Learn to play piano in your winter underwear

Doctors say that babies should smoke until they are three

And people over 65 should bathe in Lipton Tea



In flow-thru tea bags



[An alternate, and much older, version exists as well:]

As I was walking down the street a billboard met my eye.

The advertising that was there would make you laugh or cry.

The wind and rain had almost washed that old billboard away.

But the advertising painted there would have that billboard say:



Have a smoke of Coca-Cola. Chew catsup cigarettes.

Watch Lillian Russell wrestle with a box of Cascarets.

Pork and beans will meet tonight in a finish fight.

Hear Chauncey DePeeuw speak upon sapolio tonight.



Bay rum is good for horses; it is the best in town.

Castoria cures the measles, if you pay ten dollars down.

Teeth extracted without pain, a nickel or a half a dime.

Ingersolls are selling now, a little behind the times.



Chew Wrigleys for that headache. Eat Campbells for that cough.

There's going to be a swimming bee at the village watering trough.

Buy a case of ginger-ale, it makes the best of broth.

Shinola's good to curl the hair, it will not rub it off!

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