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Matchbox Twenty Open Audition

"Damn that Rob, who knew that getting hit on the head with three Grammys would kill him? Sheesh, I wouldn't have done it if I knew that we'd have to go through all this crap and look for another lead singer!" - Adam

"Why are you complaining? You're the one that almost ran Rob down with a car!" - Pookie

"Hey don't diss my driving skillz, don't make me go over there and kick yo bootay too"

"Guys guys guys calm down! As you all know I should be the one singing now that Rob's out of the picture!" - Kyle

"No I should! We all know that I have the best voice!" - Paul

"Everybody just shush! Lets get this over with so we can go out and get some chicks." - Pookie.

"Fine. Who's first?"

*A multicolored Mohawk appears in the room"

"Hey guys. My name is AJ McLean and I'm a Backstreet Boy. Woah there don't throw the eggs yet. Anyway I feel that I should be a Matchstick because…well just look at my hair I need to be a rock star! Aww yeah *pelvic thrust* Anyway I tried out for Metillca but they said that I was too much of a pretty boy so I thought of you guys! You know, cause Rob was a pretty boy too. My talents are: Singing (of course), screaming, pelvic thrusting and other fine arts like humping, and hair dying."

"Don't call us, we'll call you. NEXT!"

"Hi! I am the Mango! My previous experiences include stripping and dancing, and I was featured on SNL. I really want to be a Matchstick because I'm so tired of having guys crawling all over me like a piece of meat. I am the Mango and I need a man that can bring down the stars in the sky, a guy who can catch me the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I am Mango!" *dances*

"Oh Mama! I want him!! I want him!!" - Kyle

"Snap outta it Kyle!"

"Oh I'm sorry. Next please"

"Like hi y'all! My name is Britney Spears and I'm 18 and you can find pictures of me and mah boobies on the current issue of Rolling Stone. Like, I really want to be like Rob Thomas because he had the coolest pants ya know! So I would like to be in Matchbox Twenty so I can have Rob's wardrobe. Thanks" *shimmies*


"Hi my name is Joey Fatone, otherwise known as the FatOne in N'sync. Even though I'm currently with a world renowned pop group right now, I feel that I'm not getting enough attention and not being loved. That damn Justin keeps stealing the spotlight. I know that you haven't heard singing on anything but just give a change and I can prove that God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On Me. Since Rob got so much attention from singing with Santana, I thought I should take his place and glory now that he's gone. Since I'll be the lead singer so none of my band mates can steal my fame."

"What a very touching story, Not! Next!"

"Hi, my name is Rob Kelly Thomas and you killed me, now prepare to die!" - Rob's ghost.

"Ahhh!!!!!" - All

The End