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*if you believe any of this then go seek help fast.*

Rob and Kyle has an inappropriate relationship with the Elvis guitar.

Rob Thomas fucked Courtney Love in a bathroom in a Texaco in Alabama - to keep Rob happy

Rob was born with a matchstick stuck in his ass, and I'm not talking about Kyle either.

The guy with the golf clubs was really Elton John.

Rob's beer belly isn't really a beer belly at all, it's a dead fetus.

Matchbox 20 was once caught with five dead hookers in their hotel room.

Rob Thomas is really a girl.

Rob Thomas wears a mop on his head to cover up his male pattern baldness. head

Rob Thomas is really an alien coming to take over our planet.

You're so fucking messed up, Take Me Home