Subliminal Smokes (Part 2)

September 24, 2000

The Paperless One loves this series - I would have run the one with the Asian girl in the bar, but it was on the back cover of an issue and was destroyed from being bathroom reading in close proximity to shower soakage!  So, since those Red Kamel ads continue to baffle the Paperless One, we'll bring you another one of these KOOL ads.  Ironically enough, there is nary a black model in any of these KOOL ads, after the cigarette maker came under fire a few years ago for targeting their menthol cigarettes toward young black males!  Anyway, they've been behaving in THAT aspect, it's just that they're up to a lot of familiar old tricks that are easily pointed out by a guy who hasn't studied many subliminals in the better part of a decade. 

Here we have another ad for KOOL menthol cigarettes, with the same sort of premise as the one displayed last week.  The female half of a couple looks toward the "fourth wall" at the KOOL smoker with sinister "interest".  If you'd like to join in on this ridiculous fantasy, you can assume yourself in the role of the KOOL smoker, as he is never fully shown in the ads, and his angle suggests a first-person involvement.

Here we have what appears to be a couple sitting together on a park bench, or perhaps a bench outside of an apartment complex, as there is a large building visible in the background.  The woman has her arms and legs wrapped around the oblivious male in the yellow "wifebeater" shirt.  He cannot see that while her limbs are all wrapped around him, her eyes are elsewhere - on the KOOL smoker.

As is the case with all advertisements, rather than buy into the fantasy that the whiff of a menthol cigarette will draw seemingly happily attached women into your lair, ask yourself a few questions:

As for the "right now", we've already analyzed that.  What "just happened" was probably something which messed up the woman's hair significantly - possibly a little rumble on the park bench?  At first glance, it appears as though the man's jeans are unbuttoned, although this may simply be overhang from his "fifth pocket" that we see.  Nonetheless, the woman's hair IS awful messy, and you are correct in noticing that it doesn't look quite right.

Ask a smoker - smoking after sex ranks right up there for them with that "morning coffee smoke" and the "after dinner smoke".  Could it be that she is drawn to the whiff of that menthol KOOL as an after-sex smoke, but then realizes how much more fulfilling sex with Mr. Kool would have been than with Mr. Wifebeater, who is already staring off into space and ignoring a gorgeous woman with all of her appendages wrapped around him.

The possibilities are endless for what could happen in the future.  After all, you are Mr. Kool, and providing that you smoke their brand, you get to write the script and have your way with this more than willing woman...or should I say WOMEN?!?

What?  Remember to look for things that don't seem quite right.  Check out the woman's hands as they wrap around Mr. Wifebeater.  Although I don't recommend that you go up to a stranger and try this, ladies, try wrapping your arms around a rather large male and see if you can get your hands to come together like that.  

I didn't think so.

Now take another look at Mr. Wifebeater.  Cover up his head in the photo.  What is our messy-haired park bench girl doing NOW?!?

She's got her arms positioned like that to spread the legs of a girl in a yellow one-piece bodysuit!!!  Like I said earlier...WOMEN!

Okay, so about half of you see the carpet munching, and the other half are convinced that my mind is completely in the gutter.  For the second half, I won't bother pointing out all of the subliminal embeds in the ad - you can search for those yourself, and by the end of your quest, you too will have a mind in the gutter to contend with.  Let me also point out the phallic placement of Mr. Kool's cigarette, and the direction its smoke is travelling.  Do you honestly think these were all coincidental?  No, they were carefully thought out, and drawn into the ad after someone gave the idea a tremendous amount of thought.

Now would someone please get their mind out of the gutter and get this poor girl a brush?

As always, direct your subliminal ads to subliminalman@egulphy.com.  If you'd like your analysis of an ad to appear on www.egulphy.com, just send it in and ask the Paperless One to post it.

If you have any comments on this subject, feel free to use the message board (accessible from the main title bar) to leave your comments on the subject, or any others.

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