July 9, 2000

The Toronto Sun involved in another "news" story

July 9, 2000

Actually, this column was written after The Paperless One's return, not on Sunday. The event in question took place in Guelph a few weeks after the infamous "moose" incident.

In case you don't read "THE SUN", I'll have to fill you in on what happened, as it probably didn't even make the news outside of "the little paper that grew".

A few weeks ago, the Toronto SUN had their Toronto moose vandalized - the antlers were ripped off by "punkass bastard hooligan pigfuckers", as the paper surely called them in the next day's paper. For those who are lost on the whole moose thing, the city of Toronto, spearheaded by their flamboyant mayor Melvin Lastman, organized a campaign where corporations would pay several thousand dollars to sponsor one of hundreds of fibreglass moose located throughout Metro Toronto, as some sort of a tourist attraction.

Don't worry if you didn't get that part. Even people IN Toronto can't figure that one out.

Out of the several hundred moose in Toronto, whose antlers get ripped off? The SUN moose. At least it provided good copy for the next day's paper.

More recently, the SUN reported that a bomb was located inside one of their little red newspaper boxes, and it was powerful enough to blow up an entire neighbourhood. The bomb was allegedly linked to a shop that had affiliation with motorcycle gangs, yadda yadda yadda. More good copy.

Come on, guys. Do you really expect anyone with a clubhouse full of SUNShine Girl posters to blow up a SUN box?

I can't wait to see what happens on the next slow news day.