My favorite Jokes
Q:How do two vcr's get turned on?
A:They get connected.
Q:What is yellow with black and brown spots
all over it?
A:A bruised banana.
Q:What did the mom and dad tomato say to their son,as they passed him by,when he was walking slowly behind?
A:Ketchup Please
Q:A mushroom walks into a bar,and the bardentender refuses to serve him.And the mushroom goes why not?
A: I don't serve your type,i'm a fung-gi.
Q:What type of sharks are people afraid of?
A:Loan Sharks
Q:What did one hooker say to the other hooker?
A:Can you please hook me up.
Q:What did the gay guy tell his best friend Moe?
A:Go Homo.
Q:What did one indian say to the other indian?
A:I would like to see your tee-pee.
Q:Why did the taco cross the border?
A:To get to Taco Bell.
Q:What is a rednecks favorite type of tree?
A:A redwood.
Q:Why did the police officer stop chasing a criminal?
A:Cause he wanted to catch donuts and some coffee.
Q:Why did the chicken travel to Kentucky?
A:To get to Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Q:What did the big fan say to the little fan?
A:I'm a big fan of yours.
Q:What did one lamp say to the other?
A:Your in my shade.
Q:What did the cat say to it's owner?
A:Your purr-fect.
Q:What did the lamp say when it's cord was pluged into the wall?
A:You turn me on.
Q:How do you turn a light bulb on?
A:You screw it.
Q:Why did the rednceck buy a rooster?
A:He needed an alarm clock.
Q:What did the toothpaste say to the toothbrush?
A:Are you going to stick with me?
Q:Why did the lawyer go into a bar?
A:He wanted to take his bar exam.
Q:What did the drum say to a drum stick?
A:How is your beat?
Q:What did one mirror say to the other?
A:Your blocking my reflection.
Q:What kind of key unlocks doors?
A:A donkey.
Q:How does a redneck know if someone is a redneck?
A:They check your neck to see if it's red.
Q:What did the nut say to the squirel?
A:Not a thing.
Q:What contest is only for bees?
A:The spelling bee.
Q:What did the fire hygerent say to the dog?
A:Please don't squirt me.
Q:Why do bees buzz in your ear?
A:To bug you out.
Q:What did the cheese say to the mouse?
A:Please cheese me.
Q:What did the Burrito say to the beef?
A:When are you going to beef me.
Q:What does one pencil say to the other pencil?
A:How have you been still?
Q:How do you keep ducks from quacking?
A:You use Ducktape.
Q:What did the cat say to the goldfish?
A:I'm fishing up gold.
Q:What did the ballon say when it blew away in the air?
A:You blow me away.
Q:What did the blonde say when her car wouldn't move with traffic?
A:Why am I not moving with traffic,oh my car is turned off".
Q:What did the hobo say to the homo friend moe?
A:I need a home-moe.
Q:What did the redneck write down under sex on a job application?
A:The redneck wrote yes,instead of male.
Q:What did the duck say to another duck?
A:You quack me up.
Q:What did a small pig say to a big pig,eating it's meal really fast?
A:Your such a big pig.
Saddam's Frisky Business
Diaper Wars!
The MJ Verdict!
We Got A Pope!
Baby Aerosmith!
Redneck Baby!
Licensed to Pill
The Wonderful Babies of Oz!
Take a Little Whif of my FART!!?
You Can't Hide Your Flabby Thighs!
Playtime's Over, Michael!
I Love My Big-Ole Butt!
I got Nuts
If I Ate Roses!
Social Security: The Musical!
Warm Bottle by Baby Christina
It's your FIRST TIME!
These Buns Were Made For Wipin'!
MJ's Favorite Things
Lil' Squirt
A Song About Gas Prices!
A Men's Room Monologue
We're Not Gonna Take It
Flasher Beware!