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I am a Woman I shave my legs, sit down to pee.
And I can justify any, shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
Can get a massage, without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends, about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit, to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem, admitting I'm lost.
I never forget, an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies, with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay, to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, But jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face, Not at my chest!
I don't have a problem, with Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a girl, A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN, Get it, you Dick?!
An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
~~~~~~~~~~
~~*Moods of a Man*~~
Horny.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
How do you save a man from drowning?
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
How can you tell if a man is happy?
How are men and parking spots alike?
What's the difference between a man and a catfish?
What did God say after creating man?
What do you have when you have two balls in your hands?
What are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Why do men name their penises?
Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Did you hear about the man who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
Why do men like masturbation?
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
How do men sort their laundry?
Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing to put in it."
One. A man will screw anything.
He's breathing.
Take your foot off his head.
They are both empty from the neck up.
Who cares?
The good ones are always taken and the ones left are handicapped.
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker, and the other is a fish.
I can do better.
A man's undivided attention.
1. No mind. 2. No business.
Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get,
and how long it'll stay.
Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who
makes all their decisions.
Because those men already have boyfriends.
He had it bronzed.
It's sex with someone they love.
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
"Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you?"
