WAITER: How did you find your steak sir
DINER: I just moved a chip and there it was
"Waiter there's a fly in my soup"
"Don’t worry the spider in the roll will get it"
DINER: How much do you charge for a meal
WAITER £30 per head sir
DINER: In that case I'll just have an ear then
DINER: Waiter my plate's all wet
WAITER: That’s the soup sir
"Waiter this pie tastes awful, fetch the manager"
"Its no good sir, he won't eat it either"
DINER: Waiter, why is my water all cloudy?
WAITER: Its not sir the glass is just dirty
DINER: A coke, and a piece of fish please.
WAITER: Fillet sir?
DINER: Yes to the top please
WAITER: What will you have to follow your roast pork sir?
DINER: Indigestion I expect.
"Waiter this food isn't fit for a pig"
"I'm sorry sir I'll get you some that is"
"Waiter what's wrong with this fish?"
"Long time no sea sir"
"Do you have minestrone soup on the menu waiter"
"We did but I cleaned it off sir"
"Waiter will my pizza be long"
"No sir it will be round like everyone else's"
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