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Game Recaps

Dragonz 37 def Air Wu Tang 35

Dragonz 39 def Laidbacks 32

Dragonz -vs- Speed preview

Speed 53 def Dragonz 45

The Funk 32 def Dragonz 30

The Dragonz 47 def Tendooji 41

The Dragonz 51 def Crosby 38

The Dragonz 45 def B.B.C 32

The Dragonz 65 def Wattle Park 28

The Dragonz 78 def D.W.W.C 32

Semi Final: The Dragonz 53 def Crosby 40

Grand Final: The Funk 52 def Dragonz 42

The Dragonz 42 def Vikings?? 39

Dragonz 37 defeated Air Wu Tang 35

The Dragonz bounce back from a heartbreaking loss

Disheartened that their 9 game winning streak was snapped after a crushing 1 point loss to the Secon Carriers, one spot below them on the ladder, the team was ready to use it's rare height advantage on a tiny Air Wu Tang team, in a battle between two of the Asian heavyweights. Sporting a 3 girl cheersquad, and a new temp who had a 5 inch advantage over everyone to replace the skiing CMo, the Dragonz help a comfortable lead throughout the game. Using their height to their advantage, they dumped it in and took it hard to the rack, although the outside shots weren't dropping. With the press not proving to be effective, a last minute flurry saw Air Wu Tang close in and actually take the lead in the closing minutes, before some clutch plays by Lang and his brother squeaked out a 2 point win. The highlight of the match was the technical foul on one of the little asian rabbits abusing the giant maori ref, not a smart move. A disappointing effort and a low quality game, but a win nonetheless. However, there was no maccas after the game. The players could not be reached for comment, but David issued this statement to the media at a local press conference:

"This is what I have to go through. This is Daby's life in a nutshell. All the other soldiers that went to war with me, they enjoying their rest. But me, this is what I have to go through. I miss two crucial free throws that break our winning streak, and for what? Practice? This ain't even the game.. we're talking about practice! I don't do everthing right.. hell, I do a whole lotta shit that ain't right.. but I ain't any different from you.. Two shots.. two friggin shots.. do I look like I got no offensive game..? Hell no.. two shots? This ain't practice.. practice man.. I got C-Mo on mah ass tellin me that his pinky hurts and I gotta drive his car home, and that it might run outta gas on the way.. I got Big O tellin me to come to practice... Practice? Damn.. I gotta get back in tha game.. you know man? F*ck this, I gotsta get paid.. I earned mah paper, but what's love gotta do with a little menage? Give me my damn shots.. and I'll lead the Dragonz to the title."

Uhhh.. we're not too sure what that was about.. I think Daby has been emulating his idol T-Crack a bit too much.

Dragonz 39 defeated Laidbacks 32

The Dragonz are back on track, winning 11 out of their last 12 games

A great team performance again led by their superstar Lang Ip saw the Dragonz comfortably defeat and outplay the Laidbacks, propelling them into 1st spot on the ladder. The Laidbacks, although laid-back, are no slouchy team and are in an intense race with the Secon Carriers, Crosby, and Air Wu Tang for the 2nd spot. Again, the Laidbacks sported a much taller centre who also can be referred to as an Ex-Hailey dude, even sporting the traditional rugby top. However, he proved he wasn't much of a presence and struggles to touch the net, displaying a clear lack of athleticism. Sharp shooting and outstanding defence from the Big O led to an assortment of 3's, steals and breakaway layups from the team MVP thus far. Tractor Traylor chipped in with several key baskets in his sweet spot (only?) and Daby again ran the offense with his league-leading assists total, with the play of the game when he broke down the defence and dished a no-look pass to C-Mo for the power layup, AND ONE! The underrated short frontcourt that plays a lot bigger than their vertically gifted opponents rebounded well, with Hung Long providing some muscle and grit, most likely helped by his large asset which helps him create space when he is boxing out and crashing the boards. Jon chipped in with his all-round hustle, even though C-Mo was barking like a moron on the bench, encouraging him to shoot at every play when the shot was not there. Whiteboy C also managed to do his trademark air-ball baseline J, blaming it on his weights training. A stupid substitution in the last 30 seconds of the game led to C-Mo injuring his right pinky, possibly placing him on the injured list for a minimum of 5 games. Pete Sampras failed to apologize and deepened the rift between the two teams.

For the Laidbacks, Martin "Radar" Leong's evil brother showed up and constantly broke down the airtight Dragonz defense, scoring on pull-up J's and breakaway J's, and hell just friggin J's from everywhere. However, this was not enough to stop the onslaught of the renowned "Doberman" defense of the Dragonz led by Daby, C-Mo and the Big O which leads to many steals and forced turnovers, striking fear into the opponent's primary ballhandlers. Pete Sampras managed to penetrate but often through up shots without looking, creating easy fastbreak opportunities for the Dragonz. A great team effort, and the Dragonz will be looking to build on their great form by taking on Hong and the Asian speedsters next week, Speed, who has an agenda with Roach ass over the exploits of a certain ex-girlfriend.

"I'm prepared for a very physical battle."comments David. "But Daby's not going to back down.. hell Daby ain't scared of nobody.. Hong better be ready cuz I'm gonna eat his children if he tries any sh*t on me!"

However, Jon was more diplomatic: "Me and Hong go way back. He even played on the old Dragonz once. He's a big player and he's playing great for them, but we got the best frountcourt in the league, I don't care if it's also the shortest. We'll have Tractor Smelf waiting for him in the key."

C-Mo echoed those sentiments: "Uhh.. yea Hong ain't nothin.. injured pinky or not, I got his number.. number 10! What? He's not #10? Isn't Hong the dude that got with Roach ass?!?"

Lang could not be reached for commment. Rumour has it he's at the Wheelers Pub adding to his infamous beer gut. David Chen has remained silent, preferring to let his asset do the talking.

Preview: Dragonz -vs- Speed

War on words makes the Dragonz eager to continue winning streak

The 11W3L Dragonz take on the 6W8L Speed at 8:20PM on 18th July.

Hong has already issued a bold statement: "They can talk all they want. They think they own the league just because they're first in points scored and points allowed. They just haven't dealt with a talented centre like me before. They can't even reach up to my head. And that white boy who calls himself C-Mo, I sure would like to "C-Mo" of him guarding me, because he can't stop me. He can't even hit the ring. I'll dunk on his head so hard he'll be having nightmares of me all week."

To which David countered: "Well he's got a point.. but that's my cracker right there.. ain't no one gonna mess wit C-Mo cause Daby got his back.. we go way back, way back to the GW ghetto.. we've dealt with big guys before.. we know how to get them in foul trouble.. He's just jealous cause he's gonna have an early summer.. but you know what? I can't believe you're talking about practice.."

This sure looks like it's going to be a fiery encounter. Lang, fresh from the Wheelers, has revealed the team's game plan:

"The team will be able to take the night off because I guarantee I'll score 40. Game over."

What a game this will be. We can't wait.

Speed 53 defeated Dragonz 45

Dragonz run out of fire as Speed speed away

A huge upset as the league leaders Dragonz were beaten in a shootout with bottom place Speed surviving a last minute flurry from the Dragonz to win comfortably. Sporting a large cheer squad with camerawomen everywhere, Speed shot an alarmingly high three point percentage with the token white boy on an otherwise oriental team, dominating outside and inside. Speed's win was helped by some pathetic refereeing from Granny Pops, who will be reviewed by the appropriate regulators during the week.

A fiery clash from the beginning, the war of words had already begun. Although Hong failed to live up to his words with a steady 10 points, the Big O only managed half his prediction of 40 points. Lang, although he rebounded well, was cold for most of the game, but came alive in the last few minutes with a barrage of three's and long range jumpshots. David Lee came alive in the second half, with a superb all-round game, rebounding with intensity and creating for his teammates, showing why he is leading the league in assists, highlighted by his baseball passes which were always on the money. His assist total would have been higher had C-Mo been able to shake the monkey off his back and made a left handed layup. When asked about the missed layup which came during a Dragonz run when they had cut the lead to 4, he responded:

"The pass was spot on. I don't know what happened, I'll practice them all day. I can hit them in the gym, but I don't know what happened. What happened man? I know it's only practice, but I can make em."

David got his wish and produced with more shots, finding his three point range as well as his penetration which created problems for Speed. Here were his comments at a post-game conference:

"I'm glad I finally played a better game, but it don't mean anything. We lost. Plain and simple. We have to regroup and start treating all these games like mini-finals because now the top 4 is up for grabs. We played good offense, but our interior and perimeter D wasn't good, although we rebounded pretty well. How many damn 3's did they hit? It was their night, they played well. But come the playoffs, I promise you it won't happen again. We just need C-Mo to step up and match the white dude on their team, he knows how to throw his fat around. But he got away with a lot of stuff under the ring, behind the scenes.. but, we just got outplayed tonight. I know the boys will be ready next time.. oh wait, hold on, they won't make the playoffs will they? Boo YA!"

Added Hung Long: "I bring it every game. I give a full 110%. We need everyone to do it, for the whole 40 minutes. No little crappy spurts here and there. We need an all out effort and hustle for the whole 40 minutes, we need people getting back on D just as quickly as they run off for the fast break. The only team that can beat us is us".

The Dragonz will need to recuperate after their trip to Asia, and will face The Funk at home, who have crept into the playoff race. The lineup will be bolstered with the return of Albert Sin, who missed the game due to the cold weather. When the two teams last met, it marked the debut of super-import Lang Ip and the Dragonz comfortably won by 16 points, despite a huge height disadvantage. What they lack in height, (some) make up for it with their heart and hustle. Look for the Dragonz to bounce back, and David issued an ominous warning:

Teams have been dogging us all season, saying we're too short, we're too asian, we live and die by the outside shot, we don't practice, whatever. But we have not lost two straight all season, and I intend for that to continue. Don't ever underestimate the heart of a dragon."

The Funk 32 defeated Dragonz 30

Too much Funk leaves the Dragonz in a slump

The Funk squeaked out a vital win over the Dragonz who have dropped 2 out of their last 3 surviving a last-minute comeback from the Dragonz led by team leader Lang Ip.  Crucial turnovers cost the Dragonz the game and their lack of height resulted in the Funk dominating the boards and the centre controlling the paint.  The Big O still hasn't found his shooting touch, but managed to score inside.  The game was lowlighted by several airballs from C-Mo as well as ones that caromed off the side of the backboard.  After David Lee's breakout game, he was restricted to 1 point on 0 shot attempts.  Nursing a diseased armpit and sore knee earlier, he still contributed with his electrifying passes, but suffered a corked thigh early in the game.  Bravely re-entering the game in the second half, he hobbled around the court and improved the ball control.  However, he summed up the team's misfortunes:

"It's like this.  I bring up the ball and pass it off.   But for some stupid reason we think, one pass, oh sh*t i better shoot it.  Why?  We ain't hitting em so we do we keep insisting on shooting after one damn pass.  Always on that damn baseline too which makes it hard for us to grab the offensive boards.  Our offense sucks.  We need more penetration and dishing.  We need better finishing.  We need smarter shots and more screens.  If we don't watch it, we fall right outta the playoffs.  I can't even walk right now, and we're losing Jon Lee to the Malaysian league.  We really need people to step up for the little big man.  I'm hurting.. this is gonna be tough..We jus gotta regroup."

This summed up the team's mood after the game.


The Dragonz 47 defeated Tendooji 41

Dragonz roar back to reclaim top position with comfortable win

The Big O regained his shooting touch shooting a blistering 100% in the first half and finished with 22 points. Playing outstanding defense and crashing the boards like a man possessed, he carried the team on his fat back and refused to let the team lose 3 in a row. Playing a feisty Tendooji team, their centre controlled the paint and played a very solid game, scoring on putbacks and also short jumpers. A less than 100% David Lee bravely shrugged off his corked thigh and although he wasn't finishing, played extremely hard on the defensive end and showed why he is leading the league in assists, creating for others and driving aggressively to draw the fouls.

With Albie and Jon getting hammered and not getting any calls, they took the beating without any complains and continued to plug away. Jon, on his last game before he joins the Malaysian league, outhustled the his opponent many times and took many trips to the free throw line, marred by a missed layup with no one around him but still managed to put it back in. Albie and Melv also played a good all-round game with the highlight being a skyward alley-oop from Lang to Albie and Albie calmly putting it in the hole. David Chen was not present due to work committments and maintenance of his most treasured asset. Still, David was not satisfied with the win:

"I'm still not happy with our defense. We gave up 41 points to a team that was on average shorter than us. We have to work things out, communicate better. Our offense was looking much better, we were swinging the ball round and creating space for others. But we gotta play smarter and harder on defense."

The Dragonz 51 defeated Crosby 38

Dragonz back on track with convincing win over Division rivals Crosby

The Dragonz have broken out of a slump and emphatically beat cross-town rivals Crosby, who were currently third. This win proved to be crucial to regain the top spot on the ladder and created some breathing space from the second-place Funk. With 3 games left in the season, the top 3 spots seem to belong to Dragonz, Crosby and the Funk, with the 4th and final spot up for grabs between Air WuTang (the much preferred first round opponents of the Dragonz) and the old veteran team Secon Carriers, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean/represent.

The Dragonz were in trouble early when their star player and team leader Lang Ip arrived seconds before tip-off, blaming an anonymous website with incorrect time details. However, sources close to the team say that he was too busy getting his drink-on at the Elephant Pub and lost track of time. A tight first half saw Lang again pace the team with 10 first half points, resulting in a tight 3 point lead. Adjusting to Crosby's lack of ball-handling skills and outside shooting, the Dragonz locked down the D with Cameron Morgan and Lang Ip getting many fast-break lay-ups from suffocating defense. David Lee had a field day dishing out double-digit assists, with Albert Sin being the beneficiary of most of them, finishing the game as the leading top scorer and also providing some intense hustle, defense and grabbed a critical rebound which changed the momentum of the game. Whiteboy C commented after the game:

"We need that from Albie every game. I don't know if took Viagra or steroids before the game, but if he did, gimme some of dat. Hell gimme some viagra anyway. But I have to say, I was worried when Daby left the court cause they made a nice little run to get it back in single digits. But when he came back on, game over. Changed the whole complexion of the game."

The game was marred by some ugly incidents with Crosby consistently complaining about calls and even confronting David Chen at the end of the game. However, he showed them how he got his nickname and they quickly backed off. FBI investigators have also discovered that Albert Sin has been working undercover as A Gun, but David mumbled something after the game as A Gun being Albert's alter-ego, the one which scores double-figure points and doesn't lose his confidence and hustles the whole game.

The Dragonz are riding high and look to build on their recent performances before the playoffs. Their schedule to the playoffs will consist of some tough games against some very big teams and team officials are hoping that David's daily injuries will hold up.

The Dragonz 45 defeated B.B.C 32

Dragonz continue their hot form which easy win

The Dragonz easily beat low-placed B.B.C with a convincing 13 point win. The game started on risky terms as C-Mo rung up David to notify him of Lang Ip's early withdrawal from the game for unknown reasons. To make matters worse, Cameron went to sleep straight after leaving David to save the team. With Melvin Low sitting on the bench in street clothes with a sprained wrist, David got out his contacts book and recruited local high school star Simon Yap, barely out of puberty. Melv also did his part by recruiting the "egg" of Speed to play for the first 5 minutes, where the other team complete with their balding coach complained and forced Mr. Cameron Morgan of Speed to leave, who did a very nice job rebounding and boxing out the big fat fella of B.B.C and also contributed with a nice 3 pointer.

Down to 5 for the whole game, the Dragonz were too talented and athletic for B.B.C. David concentrated on boxing out the hulking 6'6 260 pound centre of B.B.C. and did a superb job, limiting him to single digits and did all the dirty work, rebounding ferociously and dishing out some nifty assists, while showing touch from the free throw line. Cameron Morgan ran the lanes all night and top-scored with 15 points. His strong finishing and putbacks were highlighted with several 3 point plays, but his stellar performance was marred by his inability to hit a left hand layup even all-alone, and missing the following putback. Here's what Daby had to say after the game:

"I don't wanna be a cracker hater, but man.. my lil sister coulda made that shot. And damn, what happened to the 3 pointers? Mr. I can break down teams with my 3 point shot.."

To which C-Mo replied: "What a cracker hater."

Dave Chen also played hard all night, scoring on an impressive coast-to-coast layup in traffic. However, the highlight of the night was the new star recruit Simon Yap, all 15 years of him, playing mature beyond his years. Playing tough lock-down defense all game, he 2nd-top scored for the team with outstanding all-round play, even throwing his body amongst the tall timber. He was able to break down the defense at will with his superb ball-handling, slick moves and explosive first step, scoring on many fast breaks and drives to the hoop. He showed a passing ability that rivalled Daby's, with numerous bullet passes that left the defense scratching their heads. Other teams shudder to think what might happen if David and Simon were paired together in the backcourt - a relentless unstoppable fastbreaking team. However, David knows he has to do what it takes for the team to win, given that no one else puts their body on the line in the paint every game night in and night out, often giving up much height and size.

The win solidified a top-two spot on the ladder, just edging ahead of The Funk by 1 point. With 2 games left in the season, it looks like the Dragonz will face The Funk in a matchup made for the promoters, the two top teams in the competition with the top players in the country. Dragonz officials are pondering whether to try and work Simon Yap into the rotation, given the instant team chemistry. The Dragonz will be looking to win their final two games against low competition, with the bye working in their favour. David concluded his post-game interview with the following thoughts:

"I know the team needs me in the paint, but I gotta somehow get into the fastbreaks. I know I can get more assists now that C-Mo has gotten right-handed layups down now, and I can be on the end of some fastbreaks too. We just got utilize that part of my game somehow."

The Dragonz 65 defeated B.B.C 37

Dragonz take a walk in the Wattle Park

The Dragonz rolled to a 28 point win over bottom-placed Wattle Park with everyone contributing. Lang Ip was on fire in the first half hitting 4 three pointers but cooled off in the second. Strong fastbreaks from Lang, Simon and C-Mo provided most of the scoring as the Dragonz used their athleticism and stamina to overpower Wattle Park. With their trademark Dobermen defense leading to many steals, they forced a season high 25 turnovers. The team has greatly increased their defensive intensity since the arrival of Lang Ip ad his defense-first-me-shooting-the-3 second mentality. David again battled underneath with the big stiffs of the other team, always running back, playing tough D and putting his lean body on the line. With a bye next week, the Dragonz will have a considerably tough game against D.W.W.C who are in good form and also have a big height advantage. As of now, the Dragonz are 1 point ahead of the 2nd placed Funk, with the bye working in the favour. However, Lang commented:

"I don't know. I'd much rather play 3rd placed Crosby if we finish 2nd, rather than Second Carriers if we finish 1st. They're a danger team, I'm not sure if he qualified, but they have 1 good player. We lost to them by 1 point the last time we met, although we should have won that game. We lost to the Funk by 2 points, but I'm putting a personal guarantee that as long as I play sober, that championship trophy has our name on it."

The Dragonz 78 defeated D.W.W.C 32

Dragonz sick of damn abbreviations

The Dragonz are in hot form, winning 5 in a row after a mid-season slump, cruising to an easy 42 point win win. David Lee top scored with 26 points, and neared a triple double, hustling for rebounds and playing tough defense to go along with his many assists, the highlight being a spectacular alley-oop to Lang Ip. Lang Ip managed a triple double in points, assists and steals, even performing a no-look steal. Lang also found time to "chip in" with 24 points. Cameron Morgan added 22 and rounded out the Dragonz trademark doberman defense, finally shaking the monkey off his back and making a left-handed layup off an assist from the magic Daby. According to him, he also made a few more. The Dragonz, in hot form, still allowed the asian dude on the other team to score about 20 points. However, with their first playoff berth since their entrance into the league (which coincedently is their first year in Nunawading), the Dragonz will be pumped up to win their semi-final on Thursday.

The Dragonz 53 defeated Crosby 40


David Lee 8 12 1 1 3 6 3 5 8 1 3 1 2 20
Lang Ip 7 27 2 10 5 8 6 9 15 3 3 0 1 21
Cam Morgan 1 6 0 1 0 4 2 7 9 5 2 0 2 2
Albert Sin 1 5 0 3 0 0 0 2 2 2 0 0 1 2
Melvin Low 2 6 0 0 0 0 2 2 4 0 1 0 0 4
David Chen 2 5 0 0 0 1 4 5 9 1 1 0 4 4

Dragonz headed to Grand Final

The Dragonz pulled away to a comfortable 13 point win over Crosby after a tightly contested first half. In the first half, the two teams traded shots and were neck and neck, with the score 25 all at the half. The Dragonz were paced by Lang's scoring although needing many shots. In the second half, Crosby started to look like they would run away with the game, grabbing countless offensive rebounds after their own crappy misses and scoring off many coast-to-coast layups, with the Dragonz transition defense being very sub-par. After being relatively quiet in the first half with 5 points, David Lee exploded with 16 second half points in 15 minutes. However, the most crucial points came with Crosby up by 3 and looking to pull away, Daby combined with Lang to regain the lead and put away Crosby for good, highlighted by a pull-up 3 to complete an 8-0 run. The Dragonz took advantage of Crosby's foul trouble, fouling out two of their big players. A huge incident dug Crosby deeper into the hole that Daby had created for them, when two of their own players had a sickening collision chasing a loose ball, with David Lee wisely getting out of the way, delaying the game for more than 5 minutes. Reducing Crosby to 4 players, the Dragonz took advantage with their killer-instinct mentality and pressured them, causing turnovers and out-running them on the fastbreak, resulting in a comfortable win. David finished with 20 points on 67% shooting, 8 rebounds and 3 steals. Lang was a monster on the boards, collecting 15 rebounds to go with his 21 points and 3 steals, but shot just 26% from the field and just 2/10 from the 3 point line. C-Mo could only manage 2 points on 1/6 shooting, but helped in other areas like his 9 rebounds and team-leading 5 assists and 2 steals. However, Dave Chen was also a strong contributor with his trademark all-out hustle and gave 400%, collecting 9 rebounds and was a physical presence down low. The Dragonz are headed to the Grand Finals to meet the Funk who will prove to be a tough team, with a huge height advantage and match up athletically with the Dragonz. The Dragonz will be sporting a big cheersquad, and here's David's press conference after the game:

"I told you I'd step up in the finals. The Funk will be tough, we'll have to concentrate on boxing out their two bigs, and we'll have to do a much better job getting back on D. If we start making some more shots and play hard for 40 minutes, we'll be fine. We'll see who wins when East meets West."

With the unanimous two best teams in the competition, this will be a classic Grand Final, with an abundance of talent stepping onto the court. A copy of the Dragonz semi-final win can be ordered on 1800-DRAGONZ for $20 plus postage and handling.

The Funk 52 defeated The Dragonz 42

Dragonz fall short in Grand Final due to lack of height

With the final score not reflecting the intensity and tight contest, the game was close until the last few minutes where the Dragonz ran out of steam. The Funk bigs proved to be too big and almost exclusively scored on putbacks. The Dragonz were only playing with 5 for the whole game, sorely missing the presence of Dave Chen who injured his back when he tripped over his "asset", falling down the stairs.

The Funk's little shit of a guard who shot like a 5 year old picking his ass made 3 3-pointers, 2 of them back-to-back which iced the game when the Funk were up only by 1 with a couple minutes left in the game.

Lang Ip again carried the team, although not hitting from outside, scoring almost at will when he took it to the heart of the Funk defense, ignoring the tall timber in his way. His superb performance was complimented by Albert Sin who was a man possessed, stealing the ball like crazy and hustling like a madman. His shot was on from outside, but he showed his newfound confidence driving to the whole with explosive speed and strong finishing. Unfortunately, no one else on the Dragonz could make the extra step to take the team over the hump. Cam says he stepped up with 5 points. A disappointing end to a successful regular season, the Dragonz look to build on for next year in C grade.

The Dragonz 42 defeated The Vikings 39

Dragonz win season opener against huge ass Vikings team

The Dragonz won their season opener against the biggest team they've ever faced, with their average height being 6'4. However, the Dragonz valiantly battled and kept the game close throughout. However, at the end, the Dragonz struggled to score in their half-court offense and had to be bailed out by their superstar Lang Ip, who nailed 3 3-pointers in the span of a couple minutes to keep the Dragonz close. However, with David Lee fouling out in the last few minutes, the Dragonz lost their heart, soul and hustle. With the game tied with 15 seconds left, Lang managed to free himself to get the ball, and skilfully drove to the rack past the whole team and hit the game winning layup and the foul. He also made about 7 free throws with the ball hitting the front rim, bouncing off the backboard and rattling in. With Van on the sidelines laughing, the Dragonz won their season opener and a great performance considering the height of the other team, David and Lang in particular boarding extremely well considering they were a foot shorter and 50 pounds lighter. But no one can question their heart.

C-Mo finished well on his fast-break layups and hit double digit points. Albie also built on his impressive grand final performance, consistently hitting the outside shot and playing extremely hard, helping out in the paint where he could. David has recently called him the "lockeroom" favorite and his presence on the team is invaluable.

Wolverines 59 def Dragonz 19

Dragonz get their ass whooped by 4 man team

The Dragonz lost to the four man Wolverines team. With David SURPRISING everyone with his presence, after a tentative first half where the Dragonz scored an incredible 3 points (all by Jon) and after many many bricks, Dave decided to take control in the second. Working the give-n-go perfectly with Jon he scored 10 points and also dished out 3 assists, which happened to be the entire Dragonz second half score. However, the Dragonz has decided to disband and reform their team under the name Egg N Banana Smoothies which was supplied by David.

Basically, the Dragonz were killed by the head Wolverine who killed our short asses. (You remember that dude don't you Lang?!?!?) I'm sure the Wolverines will be scared of the Dragonz next time they see them. Hell they'll probably turn up with 3 people and still win. David has requested to attend Lang's educational classes on "Dirty Basketball Tricks 101".. He still has not perfected the "slap the guy in the stomach during the jump ball" but is working on the "pretend to grab his balls when he goes for a shot" move. Now that's defense. No wonder people don't like Lang's "lock-down" defense. Ron Artest, take a seat to the master. Lang has been rumoured to be saving his ultimate move, the shorts dacking move which renders players motionless for a few critical seconds.

The Dragonz 38 defeated BA Cowboys 34

Dragonz outplay BA Cowboys, David tells media that "BA Cowboys stands for Bitch Ass Cowboys!

The Dragonz move to 1 and 1 without their superstar Lang who has ditched the team to pick up white chicks on big ass mountains in Canada. (For those of you who didn't realise, he is the Banana and Cam is the Egg). After a shaky first half which looked mighty reminiscent of the Wolverines, the Dragonz decided to turn up the heat and played the role of the Red Indians and ass whooped the BA Cowboys. Outhustling and coming alive with energy, the Dragonz made a big comeback and kept it close throughout. A clutch basket after David tapped the rebound off a free throw miss (outrebounding the 6'7 guy) to Cam for an easy layup proved to be the turning point. Fastbreaking the Cowboys till they fell off their fat horses, the Dragonz pulled the game out withstanding a poor offensive performance from Dave. Nazeer admirably filled in sporting a new look huge afro which explained why he was 15 minutes late, much like the person he was replacing. He fit in nicely and played a well all-round game. Popular opinion was that the afro is preferred to the dreadz. The dragonz still need to work on too many sloppy passes and turnovers, as well as helping each other out on D and boxing out. Ah well, we can still ping 3's and hope they go in. The game proved to be costly though, with the win securing a spot for the Dragonz in the TOP 4. Their best chance is to avoid the Wolverines in the finals (Damn u Lang, why can't u come back one week earlier). They have defending champs the Funk next week and will be lookin shaky without Lang. Who knows? The Dragonz will be slumbering for a long time, revived by a tasty beverage with an unusual twist. In fact, they have sparked a huge interest with their name albeit being called Dopey for putting the team 1 and 2 contacts with the same home number. Rumour has it that Egg n Banana Smoothie members are gay - they all live in 2 houses which are only a few doors away. Neighbours have often complained of the Village People music and girlish laughs. Bitch please, YMCA is tha shiznit.

The Funk 53 defeated Dragonz 23

Dragonz looking demoralised entering finals

The Dragonz were comprehensively beat by a much taller team in the Funk. This was no excuse for being outrebounded because the Funk are not a physical team at all and simple boxing out and team communication could have easily prevented this. A lack of effort and no offensive direction resulted in such a bad loss (and the insane amount of turnovers didn't help either). David is in a self-proclaimed slump and will be seeking psychological advice and looking to beat up on some shit trucks to gain his confidence back. C-Mo was aggressive early but a team insider/teammate who shall remain anonymous (hint: he's kinda oriental looking) has revealed that C-Mo is not happy with the excessive dribbling. The Dragonz camp is turning ugly and at the worst possible time. It looks like they will be facing the Wolverines in the final unless the surfie Swingers beat them. I'm waiting for the update, when the site is updated (see link below) then someone please tell me.

The Dragonz have a week to repair their bruised confidence and egos, to prepare for a lop-sided battle against the MVP of the league. A rumour is floating around that a hitman has been hired to take him out machete style. I also have a feeling that although the Dragonz have 12 wins and 5 losses, that their percentage has dipped below 100%. Oh Lang, where art thou??

To check out the ladder, click on this link to see the current ladder.

back that ass up..