Perhaps no other figure of history is as widely disputed as Jesus. Below, I will present a few differing ideas on who this man was, and for each theory, provide a link to a popular exposition. Choose well, your salvation may depend on it . . .
The orthodox Christian theory says that Jesus is God incarnate, the second person of the Trinity. Born of a virgin, performed miracles, died on the cross for the sins of humanity, and rose on the third day. Ascended to heaven and will return again to usher in God's kingdom. A fitting object of prayer and worship, Earth's only hope.
The modernist Christian theory holds that Jesus was a human exemplar of God's love, but not divine in any exclusive sense. A teacher and healer who shows humanity how to do the will of God in the face of adversity. A man like you and me, who had legendary material grafted onto his biography by early Christians blinded by faith and a need to make him palatable to a world familiar with miraculous pagan god-men.
The Mythicist theory makes the bold claim that there was no Jesus, he was invented by pious zealots out of whole cloth. Although not considered within the realm of plausibility by the vast majority of academics within the field, this theory is very popular with Satanists.
The Evil Genius theory claims that Jesus molded his life and deeds to purposely fulfill messianic prophecies, going so far as faking his own death in collusion with Joseph of Arimathea.
The Royal Bloodline theory believes Jesus to have sired offspring with Mary Magdalene, the descendants of whom are usually linked to the Merovingians and the Holy Grail. This theory may appear in conjunction with one or more others, and has become increasingly popular with the success of Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code.
The Amalgam theory holds that the stories attributed to Jesus are actually a conflation of events occurring in the lives of two or more historical individuals. Usually, either Paul, John the Baptist, or both, figure into this theory in various ways.
The Eastern Master theory makes the claim that Jesus spent a substantial part of his life in India, learning from Eastern gurus. Usually, this is accounted for sometime during the "silent period" of Jesus' gospel life (ages 12-30), and also after surviving the crucifixion - supposedly there is a tomb in Kasmir . . .
The Early Jesus theory holds that Jesus actually lived long before the first century, and the apostles such as Paul and John are actually making reference to purely spiritual encounters with him.
The Jesus=Joshua theory claims that Jesu, Joshua, and the pharaoh Tutankhamun were the same person. This is a more extreme version of the previous theory, situating the son of man even further back in history.
The Pagan Initiate theory states that Jesus was an initiate in one or more of the pagan mystery religions of his day. In this theory, his "resurrection" and various other gospel stories are interpreted in a much different light.
The Pshychedelic Mushroom theory has actually been posited with a straight face by Dead Sea Scrolls maverick John Allegro. This theory claims that Jesus was not a person at all, but rather a magic mushroom.
The False Prophet theory claims that Jesus was a usurper of the mandate of John the Baptist. This theory is found primarily among the Mandaeans, a gnostic sect which survives to the modern day in Iraq and Iran.
