Mood:  silly
Now Playing: First Contact
Topic: Natural Familly Effected
My first daughter emailed me yesterday!!!!!!

I was so absolutely blown away, it was incredible.

I had sent her a letter about two weeks ago. I had written the letter over and over and chickened out before sending it as many times. But two days before her birthday I bought het a birthday card. This time I was not about to let myself chicken out again.

Then I started talking myself out of it. i was worried I might ruin her birthday. So I waited until after her birthday to put it in the mail. There are two things here in my blog that were posted by two of my daughters. They explained why they wanted to know their sister. I printed those and sent them too.

I was so worried at first, but then I thought about it. She is my daughter. When I realized that, I was finally able to write the letter that I mailed to her. I put my trust in her and having been going nutso for weeks wondering if she got it, if she was going to respond, if , if , if...

But she did and it was such a sweet thoughtful letter. I have been pinching myself for the last two days to make sure I am not dreaming.

I am blabbing about this to everyone. And have been trying to thank the many, many people who have become my support line over the last year. I didn't realise just how many people have been helping me get through my fears of rejection, ect. until I tried to thank them. WOW!

I am waiting for my next letter. My daughter is going to send pictures and I can't wait to see them, scan them, plaster them all over my walls. :))

Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: The stork
Topic: lighten up
I found this while surfing blogexplosion.com at
Interstesting Blog

Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: This is the real thing...
Topic: Natural Familly Effected
In a family of six, I have realized that there are always family problems. No matter how small. Ever since I could remember, I have always felt like I haven't had any one to look up to as a child, every brother and sister before me had come back to my parents and abused their privilege of being with us.
-That is, of course not the case with my sister Christy. It was a relief to hear that I actually have a sister out there that is really making a change in her own life, and from every thing that I have heard about her, I'm really glad she has continued her education by going to college.
My relatives from my mother's side really think that I cannot comprehend what had happened to christy, and how hard my mother fought to keep her. But the thing is, it's now to the point where they have been digging a hole of lies and, for them, the truth has finally been leaked.
I remember back when I was in the sixth grade, I had found my mother's container full of her family's addresses and for a week I tried to write to Christy. but my mom had told me that by trying to write to christy, I was literally hurting my great-grandmother.
That's when I became more interested in contacting my sister.My grandmother has openly threatened me to stop my attempt, or else she would "disown" me. and now I ask all of you readers who have read this far,
if your grandmother, who never really tries to contact you (besides Christmas) asked you the same question...how would you respond?

How Natural Families are Effected.
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: My Children Speak Out.
Topic: Natural Familly Effected
My children have known about their sister since they were old enough to ask. Christy's pictures have always been on the walls. They might be old pictures, but they are of her none the less.

I have three daughters and one son who wish to have contact with their sister. So I have added this space for them.

It is also for any person who's natural familly has been effected by adoption. There is a quiet community of people who you don't really hear about. It doesn't mean they aren't there. It doesn't make their feelings non-exsistant. Their voices should be heard.