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“All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies…”
As most of the three or so people who instant message me know, today the students of my school received their yearbooks. I am writing a rant about this because I didn’t have sufficient time to write an essay that sounded like I have a brain somewhere beneath all of my hatred for Victoria. Therefore, I will write my revised opinions on yearbooks and yearbook signings here.
Yearbooks, or flimsy pieces of cardboard plastered with images of Mr. Castillo (my favorite one has the caption ‘Ay caramba!’), were given out to us as we stood on line, most waiting excitedly at the prospect of receiving a yearbook so that the students can have their friends sign it. I never understood such a pathetic custom. People wait all year, 9 or so months, so that their friends can sign a little book with pictures in it. I have two questions about this: #1:Why is getting a signature from a friend so important? #2: If you so desperately want someone to sign a little book with pictures why can’t you bring your own damn book to school at the beginning of the year? I attempted to ask some of these questions to my acquaintances, however they only looked at me strangely. The truth is that the only reason people do such a pathetic thing is because of tradition. These people continue such practices because people before them did. However, why can’t these people break from tradition? Unfortunately, I do not know the answer to that question. I do not know why human beings are so stupid that they cannot formulate their own ideas, yet I digress. When my peers began to sign each other’s yearbooks, I was depressed. I was depressed because of the stupidity of the human race. I was also depressed because the only two comments in my yearbook were “Fuck you!” and “Be happy!” however this has little to do with my rant. What angers me about the whole possess is the fact that it is a waste. It is a waste of ink, a waste of paper, and a waste of trees all in the name of tradition. If only humans were intelligent enough to think for themselves, however they are not, and on that sad, yet somehow pleasing note I end this rant.
Rant #2-Depression (WARNING: This rant is serious)
Today I’m really not in the mood to type something funny or even in the least bit intelligent, but now that I see that people actually read my bullshit I have a compulsion to write even more of my thoughts down. Sorry.
I would like to begin by telling everyone that I’m not really depressed. Really. The depression thing just became my NCS cliché. At one point in my life I really did have depression, and it wasn’t in the least bit fun. Real depression is pure hell. It’s constant thoughts of suicide. You convince yourself that you’re worthless and have no reason to inhabit this planet. The truth is that real depression is absolutely nothing to joke about. It’s a maddening disease. My depression made me the pessimistic, bitter, and hateful person I am today, for the most part. I doubt that anyone who hasn’t had depression could really understand what it is like. No matter how much I described it, someone who has never had it cannot conceive of it in the slightest. I know that was short and not humorous like I usually am, but I didn’t feel like writing something funny right now. I’ll make up for it tomorrow.
Rant #3 (well, not actually a rant...) PETA
I’ve finally though of a decent topic after all day of deliberating: PETA. Yes, that’s right, those wacky People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (It should be PftEToA, shouldn’t it?) I toured their establishment not too long ago, and feel like discussing it with all two of my readers (one of which being myself). Since I wanted to type something today and can’t currently think (fuck exams) I’m sharing my experience of touring the PETA establishment instead of writing an actual rant. My mother, my friend, and I entered the building somewhat nervous. One reason being that we weren’t entirely sure how kindly such a notoriously militant group would treat visitors, the other being that I was wearing leather shoes. We entered the building not knowing what to expect. We thought that maybe the building was powered by little hamsters running around a wheel, as to not harm the environment. However, then I realized that this would be cruel to the hamsters. So I thought that maybe PETA had their own group of slaves to run in hamster wheels, instead (I’m sorry. I really am. I’ll try to make this as painless as possible.) Yeah. Anyway, once we entered the building we discovered something entirely different. We discovered: a regular office building. The PETA building is not environmentally friendly. My friend and I were both shocked, being the odd people we are. Once we entered the lobby we saw regular lobby things, surprisingly enough. There were really cushiony chairs, magazines, and a large, golden PETA logo above the receptionist’s head. As we waited for our tour guide, an intern whom my family knew (she came over for dinner once; we had chicken), I looked at these magazines. The one that caught my eye was obviously geared towards teenagers. I began to look through this magazine. It seemed like a normal pre-teen magazine, with crossword puzzles and articles about vegetarian musicians. It seemed normal enough. There were some odd things, like a few articles protesting the gigantic corporation Procter and Gamble, but otherwise it seemed like a normal magazine with a vegetarian undertone. But then I turned to the center spread of the magazine. Inside was a sticker sheet containing possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Behold:
The intern arrived and showed us the building. We began on the second floor. There wasn’t really much there. There was a stockroom filled with vegetarian propaganda. It was mostly stickers of women without clothes on. Somehow this protested fur. Don’t ask me how. At the other end of the room there was a woman working on an “unhappy meal”, complete with toys of dissected and bleeding livestock. “That looks really nice” my mom said. I asked my tour guide about the animals they supposedly let run around free throughout the building. Right after I asked a large dog walked right over to me and attempted to lick me to death. She said that the animals were allowed to walk freely through the building, but only on certain floors. The dogs are only allowed access to the 2nd floor, and the cats are only allowed on the 4th. So the animals, even at PETA headquarters, are still not equals. We went to the third floor which holds a library. It was mostly vegetarian cookbooks, but they also had an archive of PETA and animal cruelty mentions. There were three kosher cookbooks. “I think it’s cool that here at PETA they have their own Kosher food section” said the incompetent intern. We then journeyed to the 4th floor where we saw: offices. “That’s about it” said the intern. In conclusion, there is nothing of interest in the PETA building, but try to get their magazine or go to one of their various webpages (my favorite is http://www.JesusVeg.com/) and download Ronald McDonald pictures. I know that sucked, but I needed to write something. Once my brain returns and/or I have another original idea I’ll post something worth reading. Until then, go to Gal’s page (I underlined it so you would click on it, jackass). It may be insanely random and perverted, but I’m plugging it anyway.
Rant #4: Schools and Stupidity
This rant is more of a traditional rant with no idea and no direction. Buckle your seatbelt and enjoy. Just be careful of falling participles. (that was a stupid introduction, wasn't it?)
Well, another day, another rant. That is how it seems, at any rate. My real exams started today. “So what?” all my one and a half readers ask. Well, it’s a rant topic! Yay! In this rant I will try to figure out the point of exams. It won’t be easy since the whole school system is based on idiocy and people who go along with the system without questioning it, but nonetheless I can try. I always found school to be stupid, even when I was very little. I will now include an overview of my education from first grade on: In first grade I was taught that centimeters are useless. In second grade I learned how to write in cursive so I could forget it when I wasn’t required to use it anymore. In third grade I learned the names of all the state capitols so I could promptly forget them. In fourth I learned that my math book sucked. In fifth I learned multiplication. In sixth I relearned multiplication because my math book sucked. In seventh I learned that it is best to stay away from evil leech twins of doom. In eighth I learned that Mr. Cook would enjoy Israel, judging by all the obviously high teens I encountered. In ninth I learned that it is physically possible to be shaped like Mrs. Rock. As you can probably see, school is an obvious waste. So why do we go? Not to sound redundant, but I believe the only reason that the school system has mutated to such a shitty state is because of an evolution caused by morons creating stupid modifications which added up into a large and uncontrollable mass of stupidity. If you get my drift. To reword it, it’s like this because of tiny modifications, which added up and screwed up the whole system. For all those of you who think that any of it makes sense, then I say that you are morons. Think about it (not the morons, you don’t want to burst a brain vessel). Each and every day we go to school at an insanely early hour. We are lectured about things like Romeo and Juliet, which nobody in their right mind could possible care about, let alone use to succeed in life.
Judge: I sentence you to four years in prison.
Defendant: Wait! I know Hamlet!
Judge: I can’t imprison you! You are free!
OK, that was really stupid, but you know what I mean. Anyway, the first point that I’m trying to make is that not very much useful information is actually learned in school. And then there is homework, essays, book reports, etc. all of which are utterly useless. The whole idea of succeeding in life now in days is becoming rich, or having more money than the next person. This seems to make sense until you think about it all G Bell. Having more money than the next guy is pretty much the same as having more little pieces of paper than the next guy. Why can little pieces of paper determine what you achieve in life? Even getting back to school, the little printed numbers on a piece of paper determine your college (except for Lindsey) which also pretty much determines where you live, what you do, and who you meet in the future. I’ve ranted for a while now, so I think I’ll get down to the main point of this pointless essay: why hasn’t the system been changed? Students are learning less and less each year, and enthusiasm for school at all is limited only to Celina. I think that if anything is to be done the educational system must be restructured entirely. Actually, the whole system as we know it has to be restructured. The most valuable things are worthless, and the worthless are the most valuable. Why is this accepted? I’m going to go ahead and be redundant: it’s stupidity. It’s all stupidity. It’s the entire human race not knowing where it’s come from or where it wants to go. I’m actually kind of serious on what I was just ranting about, so much so that I was typing hard enough to impale someone with my fingers (that would actually be kinda cool…). I don’t know how to adequately end this rant, so I will just say that if I was lucky this didn’t all come out of my ass, and I hope that someone out there knows what I’m talking about.
Rant #5: Happiness
I was beginning to wonder why I even put this page up. Most people I know put up some sort of page that they link to with information about themselves or poetry, which is of course never worth reading. But nonetheless I claimed my little section of the World Wide Web to put down my own thoughts and hatred. And so here you (or me, for the most part) are, reading my mindless rants. There are so many things to write about, but none ever seems to come to mind, none that would interest anyone, anyway. But why should I care what others think? Is it really like anyone else reading this is smart enough to know what I'm talking about, anyway? But still, I feel like addressing an issue right now, whether it is because of my rebelliousness or just a need to get my thoughts out to the world. So you all are stuck with me. Ha, ha, ha. The question I will address is one that I have wondered for a long time but never managed to have answered. As you all know I have a bitter and hateful personality. “Why?” the stupider of you ask. Well, for many reasons. But let me ask you; why do you feel the need to be so happy? But I know I will never get an answer, because no one who accepts happiness so easily even knows why they do. So I will tell you one or two of the reasons why I am the way I am. I have seen happiness, and I have seen what it can do. It makes people ignorant of their surroundings and the happenings around them. Happiness and ignorance are practically synonyms. When people become too happy they stop wanting to learn more, because they are happy ("acceptant" seems like the acceptable word, but "happy" is truly the correct term) with the knowledge they have. They feel no need to question and discover, and willingly do what they are told. People can only truly be happy once they reach a level of ignorance which I myself prefer not to. People who are happy don’t realize how terrible a place the world really is. Although I’m not saying that I know what the purpose of our existence is, I can promise you that we are not on earth only to be happy. Existing only to be happy is a fairly futile existence. The world is not a very happy place. Why? Because if it was the human race would have been extinct a long time ago. If we were a race of happy PETA people our ancestors would have all been eaten by tigers during the Mesozoic era. Of course there are other reasons, but I don't feel like going that deep into things I don't really know too much about (but more than you do, of course). I wrote a few of the reasons why happiness is just idiotic, but I would like to know why some of you think that it is just better to be happy. Really, tell me. I want to know. I could describe some of the origins for my general hatred and disgust of the human race, but I won’t, since I hate you too much to enlighten you any further. Fuck you all.
Since the “Happiness” rant sounds like a poorly crafted excuse for my generally gloomy behavior, I’d like to say that it really isn’t, and will try to make it sound like more than me just bitching over the incredibly annoying constantly happy people.
People accept happiness as an instinct. No one ever knows why they do; it just happens. It does make some sense evolutionarily (Yes! I believe in evolution! Run in fear of belief of something which is actually proven!). The being that is happier is less likely to commit suicide out of a everlasting depression (or so I think), thus enabling the species to continue to thrive. However, happiness does encourage ignorance. By having a detestable, continuously happy personality (which I hate more than most anything) only allows the person to experience one type of mood, depriving the person any experience of the others. Knowing various different moods is something fairly important in understanding humans and their awkward behavior. Happiness is a relatively (screw spell check; I'm ranting) weak emotion, and therefore little can be learned from it. I'm sure that plenty of happy or optimistic people have experienced sadness or frustration at some point in their life, but they then attempt to go back to their previously happy state so quickly that they fail to learn anything from any other moods, and subsequently allow their emotions to control them. Almost everyone I know, and absolutely everyone I know who is any way happy or optimistic whatsoever, allow their emotions to control them entirely, and I hate that type of weakness. It's sickening, really, but funny in an evil sort of way. Also, as stated earlier, happy people tend to be overly content with themselves, and lack a want to learn or understand. You don’t believe me? Do you notice that generally (actually, much more than just 'generally') the people who strive for a constant happiness are the people who waste their time discussing the other gender and reading Teen People® (I really like the ‘®’ character) magazine? Also, it should be noted that the ones who are constantly happy don’t realize that it’s a waste. Spending your energy being or attempting to become joyful is no more than a waste of time and energy, of which no one has enough. Seriously, is the quest for happiness the meaning of life? If so, then we live the most meaningless existence imaginable. Also, pessimism is good. If you spend your life expecting things to go your way, how will you feel when they don’t? There’s nothing wrong with pessimism; it’s a different viewpoint, and it has nothing to do with you, so leave me the fuck alone. Oh, sorry, I lost it there for a second. I’m just getting near my breaking point with people who find trying to make me optimistic to be some sort of game. But really (since my above train of thought died a horrible death), what’s the point of trying to convince me to be happy and completely subservient to your optimistic ideas? They’re my own thoughts, and they aren’t hurting any of you. I don’t try to make any of you people constantly happy, and I’d appreciate if you’d do the same. You’re no better than the people at the airport who try to convert me to Christianity. I have my own ideals, my own thoughts, and my own way of life, and it’s not going to hurt any of you if I don’t accept your ideas or ideals. It’s utterly selfish and disrespectful (Yes! Disrespectful! I DO care!) to force your own ideas on other people like that; I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t do it to me. To end my rant on a wonderfully arrogant and repetitive note (because I feel like it, that’s why), fuck you all.
This isn't a rant or anything, but I thought it was funny. I gave the link to this page to one of my friends (who would have killed me if she was as violent as myself, I'm sure). The first thing she told me after she saw it was that I must have an 100 in English class. Haha. Something else which I found rather amusing: There’s a calendar in my house which has an interesting yet completely random fact for each date. One of them read that 58% of Americans believed they had above average IQ’s. What’s so funny about that? The date was my birthday. Once again, haha.
Rant #6: Murder and Morals This rant sucks. I'm warning you.
The time just flies by when your parents aren’t home and you’re typing sacrilegious essays, doesn’t it? It doesn’t? Really? Well, anyway, here’s one of mine:
What are morals? And I’m not just asking because I don’t have any. I know we all wrote those reports in Family Life class (why they can’t just come out and call it ‘sex-ed’ I’ll never understand), but seriously, morals as a set idea are absolutely absurd. Everyone’s are different. What is the main moral I hear? That people shouldn’t kill. I find that odd. Not to sound pro-PETA here, but haven’t we all stamped on a spider at one time or another? In response to that I hear that no one should kill humans. Whenever I ask why (not as a justification or anything, I’m just wondering) I never get a very reasonable answer. “Because it’s wrong” is what I get most of the time. Once again, I’m not trying to justify murder or sound like I’m from PETA, but why is our own species more important than others? And why is murder so bad? Our planet is overpopulated as it is, why do we need more of us? From what I can gather, anti-murder feelings were formulated around the time of the Bible (since I doubt many of you know what the Torah is). Before then it was perfectly OK to kill someone, but after the book was written and my religion formed it suddenly became bad. But why did this one book written in a language that most of you don’t understand change the value of an individual person’s life? From what I hear on the Republican talk radio that my mom listens to, being kind to other people just made everything better and life more pleasant. Isn’t that kinda odd coming from the Republicans considering that they deny aid to the poor and sentence people to death? That seems pretty fucking hypocritical to me. But, once again, I digress. Had the Bible never been written or Christianity never formed would these people say the same thing? Admit it, it is only wrong to kill people because an ancient book says so. Once again, I am not advocating murder; I am just saying why we (you, actually…I don’t really mind it) think it’s such a terrible thing.
As with the happiness rant, this rant sounds like utter shit. However, instead of trying to retype this one, I'm just going to state my main point: Murder is only bad because our society believes it to be. Had the world not been predominantly Christian, then murder would be perfectly acceptable. And if you do not believe me, just look at human history before Jewish ideals took over.
New rant ideas are always appreciated, since not much I think about is all that interesting. Mostly it's just violent and hateful (and you can't really write that much on that without getting into some serious trouble).
Rant #7: Academics and Awards
I feel like ranting about today’s award ceremony. Why? Because I can. First of all, digression alert I find the whole concept of academics itself fairly pathetic. Grades are in no way a measure of intelligence; they measure dedication, caring, and obedience. School is designed for a certain kind of person who is overly obedient and much too willing to accept “the system” (as I’ve been calling it) as it is. The system is the unwritten regulations which run our society. I’ve learned to hate the whole system in general because it isn’t meant for people with a difference of opinion or an open mind. It actually takes a certain kind of stupidity to succeed in the stereotypical sense. The person who exceeds in the system is usually a narrow-minded person, incapable of thinking outside of the boundaries of society, and overly acceptant of society as it is. (I’m sure that sounded like some Libertarian propaganda…it wasn’t meant to be. I’m a Democrat. But seriously, society is not very acceptant of individualism, etc…never mind.) End digression alert
That said, I will now cover the awards ceremony using my extremely biased and hateful views. Before the ceremony I was told that I was suicidal because I was evil. I don’t quite know what the two had to do with each other, and would have thought about it throughout the ceremony had it not been told to me by an incompetent moron. The awards ceremony wasn’t exactly the most exciting event. Spending two hours sitting perfectly still (actually, I’m much too fidgety to sit perfectly still, but it sure as hell felt like it) watching people walk up and down a stage because they were too obedient not to. It’s sad, really, but also amusing in a strange way, like watching ants in an ant farm, or bees in a hive. People stood up, people got paper, people got plates. I got a piece of paper. It said that I did well in math. I don’t know what the purpose of the paper was. It seemed kind of insulting that the academics which are, of course, the most important thing in the world, are to be rewarded by a mass-produced piece of paper. I talked to Mrs. Sleeper afterwards about the significance of my award (note: In reality I wasn’t quite so articulate because I slept about a hour last night).
Me: It seems silly that I get a mass-produced piece of paper for all my efforts (sarcasm, of course. I don’t put effort into much of anything)
Mrs. Sleeper: But it symbolizes how well you did in that class.
Me: But what it symbolizes is intangible. If it’s intangible and represents little more than me filling in the correct numbers on pieces of paper it doesn’t have much significance to me.
Mrs. Sleeper: Yes, but years from now you’ll look back and realize…-
Me: …-That I got a piece of mass-produced paper.
Anyway, there was a large amount of applause. I didn’t understand this. People were congratulating other people because they were receiving pieces of mass produced paper or, in rare instances, shiny plates. I know the paper and plates represented academic achievement, but how important can it be? And not to mean, but the person sitting next to me seemed really excited at the opportunity to clap. She clapped loudly at every available opportunity, and even once or twice when there was nothing to applaud (in my opinion there was nothing to applaud the whole time, but I’m just…lets just say that I’m “different”.), and it was fucking annoying, too. So, to end this rant, two hours was much too long to appreciate people for things that we had no need to appreciate them for.
I would like to mention two things:
#1- in that school newspaper thingie that we received today there was an extensive article on PETA. This person stole my idea, and will suffer greatly due to his or her lack of innovation. Also I might crush this person’s skull at a later date (I believe that would count as suffering).
#2- Last time that Victoria came online I had a short chat with her and then told her who I was. Once I told her she logged off immediately. She came online again today. I would like to post a chat transcript that I had with Victoria about a hour ago:
SN Withheld: I'm online...are you going to get off now?
Vewbutterfly2001 signed off at 4:55:45 PM.
I’m so proud…
Rant #8: Cold War Politics WARNING: This rant contains a large amount of actual political knowledge.
I got into a fight with a conservative. And I lost. It was a very stupid argument about Cold War policy and Clinton Vs. Reagan…stuff I really don’t know enough about. This guy was obviously a history addict and could make any argument sound good even if there was no actual information to base his argument on. The thing that really angers me though is that even though his arguments were better formulated and his historical knowledge obviously superior I reexamined the information and both our arguments and realized that he was wrong. Clinton was a MUCH better president than Reagan. Reagan only hurt America’s economy. The Cold War did not end because of his overspending. It ended because of internal conflict between the European nations and more LIBERAL leaders such as Gorbachev and Yeltsin who allowed more freedom to their people. Although Reagan might have sped up the process, communism would have fallen eventually without any intervention from the United States. Reagan lowered taxes for the rich and raised them for the poor; he sold arms to Iraq; he overspent and sent our country into the worst recession in American history; he overspent on the military (yes, OVERSPENT). The only reason he became so popular and well loved is because he was shot (I wish the gunman had better aim). When Bill Clinton came into office our economy was in shambles and government programs were making the rich richer and the poor poorer. Regardless of the scandals (the only mentionable ones are Whitewater which he had little involvement in and of course the Lewinsky one which I could go into in depth if I felt like it) and Enron deal was mentioned in the argument, but (I believe) every senator except for 6 LIBERAL senators had taken bribes from Enron. To put Clinton’s main achievement in one short sentence that an idiot like he would understand, CLINTON SAVED THE ECONOMY THAT REAGAN DESTROYED. However, that is not Clinton’s only achievement. He made this country a more hospitable place for the poorer citizens. He also attempted to save some governmental programs such as the healthcare system that the conservatives had destroyed. He only failed in doing so because the republican (it doesn’t deserve to be capitalized) congress didn’t approve any of his amendments. If the moron I was arguing against ever wanders over to this part of the web I have this to say to him: Hahahahahahahaha!!! You fucking jackass, you lost! Hahahahahahaha!!! You pathetic fool, you’re just like all the rest of these idiots! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And don’t try to argue with me on military spending; I’ll just beat you again. It’s so obvious that we don’t need all that money, since we already have the most powerful military in the world, and large, anti-Russian ships are fairly useless now, anyway, since your “Evil Empire” was defeated. Hahahahaha!!! Bow down to me, your superior! Hahahahahahaha…!
Semi-Rant #9: Those wacky Jews!
Go here: http://www.pilotonline.com/news/nw0615eru.html Did you see that? What weird and wacky things will those Orthodox Jews think of next? Attaching plastic poles to telephone poles…can they take from the public any more? These Jews shouldn’t have the right to do something like this! It’s an outrage! The next thing you know they'll kill all of our Christian children and use their blood for their Passover bread. And we have to put up with EVEN MORE of these Orthodox Jews moving into our religiously pure Ghent. Hitler was right. We don’t want these…these…JEWS surrounding us with their “religious symbols”! And we all know how harmful plastic tubing will be to…sorry, I can’t write this sarcastically and longer. I just think that it’s really funny that people would be open enough to show their fear of Jews, essentially. I think if anything, this shows that racism still exists in the south, but people just can't bring themselves to openly admit it. But it is obvious that the Jewish community is not wanted nor appreciated here.
Rant #10: Religion
While online, I saw the following quote: "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no
G-d”. I myself said in response to this, “The fool hath believed in his heart a mystical 3000 year old book without some doubt.” However, I don’t feel like discussing G-d; I haven’t figured him out yet. In this rant I would like to discuss the topic of religion, which, in its infinite hypocrisy and stupidity, has affected us all in some way. Religion has existed since the dawn of man. Since the beginning people have always had gods, whether it be the sun, the moon, trees, little pebbles, or any other type of mystical being. Why? Humans need the security of knowing that there is something watching over them. Humans also need order and something to justify natural events that occur, which religion provides, to some extent. Religion is a fundamental need of humanity. At the beginning of human history, religion was practiced differently by everyone. However, over time it was organized into something much more strict and regulated. People were forced to do tasks to show their devotion to a certain religion. Some sacrificed their children, some their own lives…it was pretty stupid. I mean, if this god CREATED you why the hell would he need you to go and kill yourself? Doesn’t that defeat the whole fucking PURPOSE? The stupidity…Anyway, then Judaism was formed. According to my history book, the Jews worshipped some guy called Yahoo or something. This kind of confuses me, since I know my G-d as “G-d”. But, as always, I digress. Judaism was a small and hated religion. One thing I’ve noticed about religion is anyone whose beliefs are different than your own must be hated. Most every religion, deep down, hates every other one. And not only that; the denominations hate each other quite a bit, as well. There have been many different wars between Christian sects, and the “Catholic Vs. Protestant” issue formed almost all medieval European governments. In the Jewish world, the Chasidim with the shtriemals hate the Chasidim with the small black hats, who hate the Chasidim with the large black hats, who hate Lebuvich, who hate the Zionists (you don’t have to be Jewish to be Zionist, but they’re hated anyway), who hate the regular Orthodox, who hate the semi-religious Orthodox, who hate the religious Conservative, who hate the non-religious Conservative, who hate the Reformed, who just want to get along with everyone, but they can’t, because we all hate them. What I’m trying to say here is that religions are incredibly hypocritical. Almost every modern religion is formed on humanitarian principals, however they never seem to follow their own beliefs. If you don’t believe me (as many people don’t) I could give you a million examples about religious leaders or entire religions not following their own commandments (anyone heard of the Catholic Church? Anyone?). I got into an argument with a Catholic about the hypocrisy of religions. He said that religion structured humanity and made it civilized (people’s concepts of what “civilized” is differ, and the current state of humanity in general isn’t something that I find particularly wonderful, but whatever). I agreed with him (in the sense he was referring to, anyway), but told him that nonetheless not much good has come of religion. I cited the millions of religious controversies (Christian wars, Israel, Pakistan, etc.) but still he did not believe me. He said that it is the people, and not the religion. I think that is a very stupid claim. The people ARE the religion. The religion couldn’t exist without its people. But he did bring up an interesting question; what makes religion cause so much animosity and its digression (I love the word “digress”. I also love the word “fuck”, but I digress. Haha.) from its humanitarianism origins? I thought about it for a while, but I’m still not sure. However, I’m fairly convinced that part of the problem is fanaticism. Religious fanaticism (or, for all you idiots, being overly obsessed and devoted to a religion) has caused everything from Christianity and Islam becoming major religions to September 11th. Fanatics are obviously one of the causes of all of the animosity and violence between religions. Since it’s 2am and I’ve ranted for over a page, I think I’d best end this rant: Religion is corrupt and hypocritical, yet necessary to keep idiots and conservatives in line. I’m not saying that there is no G-d (I’m still not entirely sure about that); I’m just saying that religion is necessary for most of humanity, even if there is no G-d.
I had an AIM chat last night with a “friend.” We discussed whom we would enjoy vomiting on. I can now assure myself that my time is indeed wasted.
Also, I watched the Godfather. It was good. The dead horse head in that guy’s bed was really funny.
I just noticed that the text was all set to "center", and I can't seem to fix it. Fuck HTML...
Also, I've seen a lot of people recently do...absurd things, saying that they're defying the standards of society. I would just like to tell these people that there is a difference between rebelliousness and stupidity.
Rant #11: A Mindless Birthday Rant
It is my birthday in precisely a half hour. And no matter how much I think about birthdays being useless and only representing earth’s rotation around the sun, I can’t help but feel that I should do something special. It’s somewhat hypocritical of me to say so, but for some reason existing for 15 years seems to matter. Nothing is going to be any different then when I was (or am, for the time being) 14, but nonetheless I feel like I have to make this day different. But what could signify an even that means nothing and yet so much all at the same time? There isn’t much that I could do to signify this event at 11:30 at night. I could play minesweeper like I always do, but that’s just so ordinary. I could instant message all two people who are online right now and watch them not care. Lindsey, however, might ask me if I want to get high, which would be different than minesweeper, but I’m fairly sure that I don’t really want to get high (part of me does, however). It’d be funnier if I could find some Laffy Taffies, anyway. Right now I’m sitting at the computer as always, listening to the weirdest Mr. Fox type music that I have, typing an essay of random thoughts as I always do. The only difference now is that I have more people reading my mindless bullshit because I was linked. But whatever. I don’t have anything useful to type. No libertarian propaganda, no anti-society, anti-tradition, anti-moronic shit like I usually do. Why? Because today is my birthday, and I want to do something different.
Rant #12: More Idiocy
Recently, whenever I check my e-mail, I get a message from a woman named Cindy. Cindy seemed like a fine person (although my definition of that is different than most people’s), but I couldn’t help noticing that I was getting 10 e-mails a day all with the same subject. Out of boredom (the most powerful force in the universe) and curiosity I read one of her e-mails. I forgot what the actual text said, but it mentioned something about a personals add that she claimed I sent her. This confused me somewhat, considering the last thing that I am looking for is to date a woman. If I want to date someone, I’d prefer it to be a man, although I don’t think about that much, either (I think about evil things…). At the bottom of the e-mail was a link. It was porn, obviously. But I had to wonder about something…why the hell does Cindy automatically think that I am a male over the age of 18? And why if I won’t reply to her e-mails does she continue to think that I have a strong desire to view images of her without clothing? I mean, I get about 50 e-mails a day from people offering me jobs, vacations, viagra, and porno. Legally I am too young for any of these, and viagra wouldn’t exactly do me much good. So why the fuck do these people continue to think that I want or am legally old enough to even HAVE these things? When people say that there’s hope for humanity, these are some of the people I think of. The assholes who send me this shit everyday, the insane people who go into AIM chat rooms and ask for celebrity screen names when a member just announced she was going to commit suicide (like last night…IM me about it if you’re that interested to know the whole story), the people in JFK airport who put little pamphlets on the seats trying to convert Jews to Christianity, (we’ve been Jews for 3000 years and survived numerous holocausts, but now that you left those pamphlets for us we’re going to convert!)…this is a (a, not the) reason for my hatred of humanity. The insane amount of stupidity displayed by the general population and then the claim that humanity is the smartest of races…it’s all so stupid and so hypocritical. What I don’t understand is that people can’t even admit to their own idiocy. 58% of people believe that they have above average IQ’s, but when the same people are interviewed on Jay Leno they don’t even know the name of their own president (who is an idiot also, but I don’t want to get into politics right now. Also, knowing random facts isn’t intelligence, but not being able to memorize a name so commonly used is pure idiocy.). Once again, I’m blaming stupidity for absolutely everything, but I have a reason to do so: it is the truth. Idiocy is the cause for all of our problems in society, religious controversy, and almost everything else involving our own man-made world. So once again, I end another rant on a sad and unencouraging note, but let me reassure you; if you read this rant in it’s entirety (not just skimmed it; read it)and understood my message, then you are smarted than the 58% of people who believe they have above-average intelligence, because we all know that they’re just arrogant jackasses.
My favorite new Bush quote: "Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?” Jesus Christ. I mean, sometimes I’m inarticulate, but what the fuck? This guy’s the leader of the free world! If this doesn’t show the idiocy in the world today, nothing else will.
Rant #13: lol
As always, I have a compulsion to share my bullshit with the world, so I will do so. I would like to address a small yet significant issue addressing the Internet community. This issue is the use of the term “lol”. I am particularly partial about the term because it is used by idiots. However, I have seen it used by people who are considered intelligent as well. So fuck that. Anyway, lol literally means “laugh out loud”, however it is not often that people actually do laugh out loud when they say that they are doing so. Although most people wouldn’t know, there are several things which upset me greatly, one of them being lying (you wouldn’t think so, being that I accept murder and all), and when people type “lol” I expect them to only use this term if they are actually laughing out loud. Secondly, there are other better, more accurate ways to display emotion. It is just as easy to say, “that was funny”, and not only be more truthful, but also show a level of intelligence beyond that of the majority of idiots that inhabit this planet. Not to generalize (which is what I’m doing, which makes that an obvious lie…I’m so damn hypocritical.), but the people who usually use the term “lol” are also usually the people who type “a/s/l?” “wats a clebz emil adres ¿ ;p”, and ^_^. To these people I say “<^>ô¿ô<^>”, but as always, I digress. But it does anger me greatly to see people of intelligence using these terms which have infested our society, plague like, because of several idiots to lazy to type out “that was somewhat humorous” (or as the idiots would say, dat wuz somwut humoros). One of the internet’s negative impacts on society is the utterly stupid terms and abbreviations which have entered our daily lives. I remember being shown an essay written by a 7th grader which contained the word “skool”, and this was a relatively smart 7th grader compared to most other 7th graders who I knew. What is a solution to this travesty? I really don’t know. It’s not my problem; I spell out all of my words, and only use acceptable abbreviations (WWII if I happen to be talking history, for instance). Abbreviations are all overused, especially in Mrs. Moring’s class (for all of you ignorant people who do not go to NCS (I am such a hypocrite (is it grammatically correct to use parentheses inside of other parentheses? If not, what is?)) Mrs. Moring speaks almost entirely in abbreviations. The Greeks and Romans were “the G’s and the R’s, Austria-Hungary (or is it Austrio-Hungary?) was A-H, and funniest of all, WWII was WWII (she didn’t say World War II; she said W-W-Two). But anyway, how CAN this be solved? It’s not my job to figure it out; I only point out the problems. You can consider it a favor that I give you worthless…people… insight on the problems affecting the world today. Not only that, but I haven’t slept for 20 hours. Fuck you all.
There is no such word as “alot”. Thank you.
It’s been something like a week and I haven’t updated. Why? I don’t know. I don’t really have any rant ideas since my brain went into hibernation for the summer and there’s nothing interesting occurring in my life (not like there ever was, though…) I could write about my insomnia, but that would take up about four lines with me mostly typing the word “fuck” over and over again. So instead, I’m doing something else. I have downloaded several wonderful pictures from Engrish.com. These pictures are of products or signs which have been seen in Japan and use really funny English. I have posted these pictures to piss off everyone with a 56k modem. I have also removed the watermarks on the pictures even though I already gave out the site address. Why? To kill all you narrow-minded people. So I can see your brains pop, and then I will laugh in delight. I’m not insane! Anyway, on to the pictures:
And now, my personal favorite:
I have a electronic fan that sounds like Darth Vader.
Rant #14: Major Network Stupidity
I’ve noticed a few things lately. First of all, every incompetent teenager on the planet has seemed to accept my Libertarian/ACLU-type views. This disappoints me, since these people accept these views because other “rebels” do, and not because they know the issues. I hope you people who do learn something of individuality. You all know who you are. Also, just because something sounds complicated and philosophical doesn’t mean that it’s true. And for all you people who write that kind of thing, think it through before subjugating ME to your unresearched, un-thought-out rants. Once again, you know who you are. And if you THINK I’m referring to you but aren’t sure then I am referring to you. Anyway, I actually have a rant, so I’ll write that now:
I would like to quote an excerpt from and AIM conversation that actually had me "lol-ing", if you know what I mean: DementedLilMind: oh yeah, Becky didn't agree with your yearbook rant so she wanted me to tell you for her that "nobody cares" and you're "messed up"
The thing that surprised me is that she found the YEARBOOK rant offensive. I have no idea what was offensive about THAT one...? I really think it's funny, though, that when people disagree with something they feel the need to tell the other person that they suck instead of considering the other person's argument. The true idiot is the one who gets angry over a different point of view. I could write a rant about that but I don't feel like it. Maybe tomorrow or something.
Rant #…I lost count. Fuck the number thing: About Me
I went online yesterday and was told that people actually LIKE my rants. From what I heard, someone actually asked about ME (you sick bastard). Due to my everlasting boredom I will type a biography of myself. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
I was born thousands of years ago during the last major ice age. By the time my body thawed I appeared in the wilderness of Rhode Island, where I was raised by wolves. I was adopted by a hermaphrodite, from whom I learned the art of barrel making. I enjoyed his…or is it her? Never mind. Well, anyway, I was raised well until I was captured by invading Portuguese who traded me into slavery. I was shipped to Ethiopia and farmed sugar. I befriended a young girl by the name of Abcdadefky, however Abcadefky was violently murdered by leprechauns. I chased these leprechauns to get revenge on them, but I was attacked by their army of rabid chickens. I mercilessly slaughtered all of the chickens, but then a martial-artist hamster jumped from underneath the corpses. We fought for a long time until the hamster bit my finger, and I bled into unconsciousness. Afterwards, I was regarded as dangerous by the slave owner and was shipped back to Rhode Island, where I was adopted by a normal family. I thought that I could finally experience true joy, but then I met my sister. My family moved to the wilderness of the south, wherein I learned of true evil: a pair of hairy, identical demons, and trying to “fit in”, both equally horrid. I learned of history, politics, and schooling, and realized how utterly gay it all is, our own society, our history, our meaningless human rivalries, and how utterly un-agreeable twins can be. After a while, the combined burden drove me to true insanity: this webpage. The date is unknown, but it was in May, I think, of 2002. In that day I received a yearbook. Yay. That sucked, I know, I don’t give a shit. Thank you.
I had a chat with a friend of a friend tonight. I had originally instant messaged her because I heard that she did not like my rants, and had said that “nobody cares”, and called me “messed up”. I wanted to know why she thought this way, so yesterday I instant messaged her, intending to ask her why, but accomplishing nothing. Tonight the following conversation took place (SN Withheld is not my real screen name, so stop asking about it):
crazieasfck: LINDSEY HATES YOU crazieasfck: BITHC SN Withheld: um...what the fuck? crazieasfck: ur late dude SN Withheld: I was away SN Withheld: I'm not a "dude" crazieasfck: um yeah u are crazieasfck: everybody is SN Withheld: um...alright...but why'd you say "LINDSEY HATES YOU" and call me a bitch? crazieasfck: b/c i felt like it crazieasfck: she does hate u b gbwdcfed+ crazieasfck: 3c
tho SN Withheld: don't you have better things to do with your time? SN Withheld: and what do you mean by "u b gbwdcfed+ 3c tho"? crazieasfck: u answered back crazieasfck: um...nothing SN Withheld: I did answer back...is that bad or something? crazieasfck: i actually dont really care..um ur the one complaining and asking if i had anything better to do w/ my time.... crazieasfck: and now ur asking mer if it was bad that u answered back crazieasfck: u are contradicting ur self SN Withheld: How so? crazieasfck: I JUST SAID HOW MSO FUCK OFF crazieasfck: thank you SN Withheld: when I said "don't you have better things to do with your time" I was referring to you IMing me in the first place...and thank me for what? crazieasfck: i thanked you b/c i thought u were ganna shut up..u proved me wrong..thats a very difficult thing to do...congratulations crazieasfck: oo by the way...Lindsey says hi SN Withheld: I thought she hated me. crazieasfck: she wanted to be nice...she felt sry for you b/c she knows u have no friends crazieasfck signed off at 12:02:33 AM.
I'd like to know why she thinks I give a shit if Lindsey hates me or not...and how she knew I have no friends...Hahahaha...Pathetic, yet absolutely hilarious.
"Survival of the fittest is the law of the land. To fool and be fooled is the reason we live. I've never had anything good happen to me when I trust others. That is the lesson." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rant: Political Stupidity…As Usual.
A little note before I begin…I haven’t slept in a while, and when I get tired I usually curse unnecessarily (of course I do that anyway, but if I didn’t revise this, it’d just be a ½ page devoted to the word “fuck”) and ramble…not just rant, seriously ramble about politics and other shit I’m to tired to comprehend. You have been warned…
I’d be logical of me to type something on the whole pledge issue that’s arisen, but it’s just too…stupid for me to really waste a whole page on. But my basic opinion is this: if you don’t want to say “under G-d”, then don’t. But it is the pledge…you can’t declare the damn PLEDGE unconstitutional, can you? I guess you can. Never mind, then. I don’t think that a reference to G-d should be in the pledge in the first place, but no one asked me, did they? Fuck Eisenhower…doing that to the pledge just because of the Russians…he was so scared of communism that he amended the PLEDGE. The PLEDGE! Ignorant, hypocritical republicans…in news that I care about, the mayor of Providence, Buddy Cianci (or however the hell that’s spelled) isn’t running for reelection. This makes me very angry. I myself am from Rhode Island, so I know for a fact that this guy started a whole renaissance era for the city. I know he was charged with something like 30 counts of money laundering, but RI is run like the mob and always has been. Just because he’s stealing our money doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be allowed to run for reelection. Anyway, everyone knows the guys making these rulings have all been to jail themselves; you can’t get into Rhode Island politics unless you’ve been to jail. Keep Buddy. He saved Providence. Plus, he has a tomato sauce brand. Bleh…3 hours of sleep. Insomnia sucks. And the Supreme Court sucks. Am I the only one who’s realized that every important ruling is now always 5-4, with the court only having 4 Liberals to keep the sanity in this country? And the conservatives with Scalia and Clarence Thomas, the “dynamic duo”, as I’ve called it, just keep making the stupidest decisions known to man. Today they ruled (5-4, of course) for random drug testing in high school after school programs. I know that there’s a lot of drug usage in schools, but this directly violates the fourth amendment, which prohibits searches unless…oh, fuck it. Look it up yourself if you want to see what it says; I’m too tired to make it sound coherent, myself. I have to be pretty tired to start spewing out random political shit, anyway. Whatever. This is MY webpage, anyway. If you don’t like it, leave. I have the right…until the Supreme Court takes away my freedom of speech, that is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going I’m going to immigrate to some Liberal country. This is just insane.
P.S. Vouchers are evil and unconstitutional. They send kids to Christian schools with taxpayer’s money.
I found this on Angelfire’s main page when I went to log in, and thought it was kinda funny (Note: I captioned the last selection…obviously).
Rant: A Morning In The Life Of Me
This is a little story about this morning. It’s very poorly written (I think this is as bad as anything I’ve ever written…I’m still pretty fucking tired), but I find it funny, nonetheless.
My mom continues to baffle me. I mean, she’s absolutely insane. Fist she denies me all edible food (if you didn’t see the rant on that, then consider yourself lucky), and now she’s denied me sleep. As previously noted, I am an insomniac, which means that when I DO manage to get sleep I would prefer it to go uninterrupted. However, this has meant that I have been falling asleep around 5am, and have been waking up around 1. But I don’t WANT to wake up at 1; I want to continue sleeping. The reason why I’ve been waking up that early is because my mom, instead of letting me sleep myself back to a normal sleep cycle, which is the most sensible thing to do, resorts to trying to wake me up (which is nearly impossible) in the oddest means, instead of just leaving me alone. But today was about all she could take of it. See, when my mom tries to wake me up, she doesn’t actually try to wake me up. What she does is walk into my room at 10:30am, turn on the television and leave. At around 11, she returns to my room, turns up the TV louder, and leaves. At around noon she does the same. After all this time not having realized that the TV doesn’t wake me up is pretty ignorant, but what do I know? I’m sleeping the whole time. At around 1 she gets very frustrated. “Wake up.” She says, and leaves. At 1:05 she comes into my room again. “Wake up NOW.” She says, and leaves. At 1:06 she comes back in. “WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!” she says. I open my eyes and sit up. “WWWWWAAAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEE UUUUUUUPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!” she screams. “Mom, I’m up.” Is the response I usually give. She leaves for a few minutes, during which I fall into a semi-equilibrium between sleep and awake-ness (or whatever). “WWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKK- KKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE UUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPP NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO- OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “I’m UP!” I yell. She leaves. I fall back into the equilibrium. The process is repeated. Why my mom can’t just realize that if she did that in the first place that I’d be up at 10 o’clock, I do not know. But she IS my mom, possibly the most incompetent person I’ve ever met with the exception of the person with whom I had the above IM conversation. I staggered out of bed at around 1:20, when I heard a terrible shriek from the direction of the kitchen. “GGGGEEEEEEETTTT UUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” It wasn’t as loud as the others, but it sounded like it was being screamed by some sort of medieval witch. “I’M UP!” I shouted. I slowly walked downstairs and sat down on the couch. My mother came in the room, turned on all the lights, turned on the TV as loud as it would go, and rapidly changed channels between MSNBC, CNBC, The Weather Channel, and CNN Headline News (the only channels that my mother thinks aren’t possessed by evil Liberal demons). I fell back into the now familiar equilibrium and began dreaming about gummy bears shaped like Dragonball characters (why not?). “WWWWAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEEE UUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!” I looked at her hideously deformed face, a putrid red color, all wrinkled with sagging skin, and walked back to my room, wherein I laid down on my bed. My mother barged into the room. My eyes were clearly open. “GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She screamed in my face. I sat up. “GGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She ran to my TV, disconnected it, (with my help, actually,) and dragged it into the hall. She then went into a screaming rage, kicking all of my things and throwing them around the room. And people wonder why I’m so messed up…”Why’d you do that?” I asked. “BECAUSE I HAVE WASTED MY ENTIRE SUMMER TRYING TO WAKE YOU UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “Um…you don’t have to do that. If you just tapped me on the shoulder I’d wake up perfectly well.” “Yeah, you’d wake up perfectly well. I’m in your FACE! EVERY SINGLE MORNING I’M IN YOUR FACE ALL DAY TRYING TO WAKE YOU UP!!!!!!” I chuckled to myself, and my mom left the room, cursing and muttering as usual. After a few minutes I left, looked to see where she had put my TV, and saw my mom. She was in her bed, asleep. I started laughing, and she woke up. “WHAT!!!???” She said. I started laughing some more and went downstairs. While there I say some cookies. Being rather hungry and never having any cookies in the house, I ate them. I came back upstairs and began playing on my computer. A few minutes later my mom stormed into the room. “YOU ATE THE COOKIES!” She screamed. “Yeah, so?” “I WAS GOING TO GIVE THOSE AS A PRESENT!!!” “We NEVER have cookies in the house, and I had no idea you were giving those away. You should let me know before leaving food out in the open like that.” She screamed a mom-like scream, and stormed from the room. I smiled to myself, finally knowing that I’m not as screwed up as some people. The end.
My scrollbar is so pretty...
I updated the "Happiness" rant. (Re)Read it or feel my wrath.
"I'm surprised I'm joining your feast of evil."-My sister's pretty damn funny...even if it IS unintentional.
Mini Rant: I'm Not Going To Bother With A Title (but I have one. Hmmm...)
Not only am I an insomniac, but now I'm an insomniac without a TV. This is just fucking great.
Rant: I Don’t Know. Some Political Thing, Or Something.
Now that my mom’s gotten rid of my TV because it causes evil spirits or something, I really haven’t had much to do. Today, for example, I tried to stay up all night to get me sleep cycle back to what it should be, however I fell asleep around 8am, since I didn’t have a TV to wake me up. I woke up again around one, when my mom presented me with a model kit, which served as a belated birthday present. Due to the accumulation of all of my lack of sleep, it took me four hours to build the kit. This is a kit that would take a completely awake person about a half hour. And not only did it take four hours, but I also cut my finger open in the process. I’m serious. I practically cut my finger in half, so I put a band-aid on it and continued building my model kit. And the kit was quite a bit smaller than I expected, too. It’s just not fair. And then I lost another fight to that Reagan-loving, military spending, close-minded, mother-fucking republican. And I HATE losing to this guy. Sure, he spends his life on politics and history, whereas I’m primarily interested in science, but I hate being humiliated, and I hate it even more by republicans. Especially when I don’t feel brave enough to just say “WE WERE SPENDING TOO MUCH ON THE MILITARY WHICH IS WHY CARTER REDUCED MILITARY SPENDING EVEN THOUGH IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE COLD WAR AND WE HAD MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO THINK ABOUT ANYWAY, THE COLD WAR WAS FOUR DECADES, THERE WERE OTHER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT DURING THAT PERIOD OF TIME, AND IT WASN’T LIKELY THAT THE USSR WAS JUST GOING TO BLOW US UP UNPROVOKED, BECAUSE THEY HAD SOME CIVILITY UNLIKE THE US UNDER REAGAN, AND REAGAN JUST PUT THE COUNTRY INTO DEBT NOT ONLY BY OVERSPENDING ON THE MILITARY BUT ALSO BY PASSING A 25% TAX CUT WHICH BENEFITED THE RICH MUCH MORE THAN IT DID THE POOR, AND WE DIDN’T NEED TO SPEND SO MUCH ON THE MILITARY SINCE THE ARMS RACE PUT US INTO DEBT, AND THAT’S NOT THE WHOLE REASON WHY THE USSR FELL, IT MOSTLY FELL BECAUSE OF PRESSURE FROM THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE, AND NOT BECAUSE REAGAN FORCED GORBACHEV TO STOP RESTRICTING THE PEOPLE, AND IT WASN’T ALL THAT STABLE TO BEGIN WITH, AND SO WHAT IF CARTER CUT MILITARY SPENDING AND IT WASN’T THE RIGHT DECISION; HE ONLY DID ONE MAJOR THING WRONG, IF THAT EVEN WAS WRONG, AND AT LEAST HE WASN’T AS TERRIBLE AS REAGAN AND DIDN’T BANKRUPT US, AND I KNOW I KNOW LESS THAN YOU ON THE SUBJECT, BUT I AM STILL RIGHT, SO STOP FUCKING HUMILIATING ME!!!” I think that is the longest run-on I’ve ever typed. Anyway…what was I talking about again? Oh well, it doesn’t matter. This isn’t really a real rant; it’s just because I’m bored and have my own webpage, so I can forcibly subjugate people to anything I write. The Internet is wonderful. It’s no coincidence that us science-oriented people thought of it, and not the people who spend their lives listening to Rush Limbaugh and studying history. Don’t get me wrong; I love history, but knowing history alone won’t do much good for the world. Humans are very weird; we get into fights with each other all the time over things we cannot change, and yet we end up angry at each other, as if the while thing had some type of impact. No matter how much this narrow-minded conservative argues politics with me, not only won’t he change history and make Reagan wonderful or anything, but he won’t change my mind, since I know I’m right. Even if I’m not, I still know I’m right. And likewise, I won’t change his.
Something will only offend someone if the other person’s point is better than their own.
The glow-in-the-dark Chips Ahoy don’t glow in the dark.
I was reading something that a person had written when she was thirteen. She called it her bad teen novel. I read it, and it seemed perfectly OK to me. That’s when I began to worry. I wondered of this page would seem the same to me in a few years. It really does sound like bitter, generic teen angst writings that I see all over the Internet, protesting society and whatnot. Hopefully, though, I won’t look back and see stupidity; hopefully I’ll see some good ideas and good writing, although I’m not sure that this page has either. In fact, I'm fairly sure it doesn't.
Pre-rant: I just saw a commercial for verbs. Really. No one was selling anything; they were just advertising verbs. After a few seconds of staring at the TV too stunned to move, I began to wonder. How lazy are the American people that we need VERBS advertised? I mean, I’m lazy, everyone knows that, but I’m at least active enough to walk or run occasionally, and I also to other verb-related activities. But is the average person so lazy that the government (it was a government sponsored ad, I’m sure of it) has to advertise VERBS…what’s next?
Introduction: First, I KNOW my previous rants sucked; I’ve been getting something like four hours of sleep a night for the past few weeks. I’ll try to make up for it with this, but I’m not guarantying anything:
Actual rant: I’ve ranted quite a bit about general idiocy, but there are several things which have been angering me lately. Whenever I encounter idiots, they always seem to be expressing every thought in their tiny little minds as if every thought of theirs has to be heard by the whole world. If there is something I’ve noticed, it’s that there is hardly a thought in their heads worth hearing. There are exceptions, of course. Yogi Berra is so stupid that every thought out of his mind is immediately inserted into Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations (“It’s like deja vu all over again.”). But he’s a rare exception. The majority of things I hear are more under the category of “Where did you but that skirt?” And “Let’s go shopping!” This is just sickening. I’ll never understand how idiots can subjugate innocent intelligent people into hearing these irrelevant and worthless things. And what’s even worse is that the stupidest of people broadcasts every single thought in their tiny little brains to the entire rest of the world. I am thinking specifically of Rush Limbaugh, but there are others without radio shows who can irritate the entire world nonetheless. These are the people who talk extraordinarily loudly. Everyone knows at least someone like this, however I think most everybody like that was in my biology class. These people talk VERY loudly about things that no sane person could possible care about “Where’d you buy your shirt?” “Like, at the STORE. Duh.” “Hah, you are, like, SO funny.” “You see that hot guy?” “He’s like, so cute.” “Oh my G-d, he is, like, so hot.” Etc. It’s nauseating to say the least. And it is now apparent to me that it is easier to become one of these people than I previously thought. I saw my best friend on Saturday; her family came over for lunch. But she was acting somewhat differently than I remembered; she was wearing one of those shirts that stops midway, and heels about seven feet high. She immediately began to talk to me about “hot guys”. She had become one of them. I was shocked, to say the least. I began to talking to her, hoping that maybe she had some intelligence left in her, however to no avail. Her brother informed me that “hot guys” was the deepest topic on her mind. Her brother also told me she was writing a book. I was rather shocked, considering how little intelligence she seemed to be displaying. “What’s it about?” I asked her. “It’s about love.” She said. I’m rather sad to say that Caroline can no longer be redeemed; my best friend has fallen to the weak and stupid. I am not sad, since I lack basic human emotion and all, but I do find it discouraging to know that someone with so much promise fell to idiocy so easily. In conclusion, idiocy runs rampant everywhere; beware of its power.
Mini Rant: Beer Ads
This is rather insignificant, but it had to be noted: beer commercials are really, really, really stupid. The ones I’m referring to are the ones which show people acting like total lunatics and are then asked during the next day what they did the previous night. These commercials depict people acting like recently escaped lunatics while a camera focuses poorly on their activities. One of these commercials asks “Why do we act like lunatics?” (or something along that line) and I am tempted to scream out “BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKING DRUNK!!!” (but I don’t, because if I did my druggie mom would kill me). But then some of these commercials show people doing things like playing cards while the camera moves wildly around them. Yeah, that’s exciting. “What did you do last night?” “I played war and got drunk.” Does that sound like fun? Well, OK, maybe the ‘getting drunk’ part isn’t so bad, but (to me, anyway) it really doesn’t sound that exciting. Anyway, if I really were desperate enough to get drunk, I’d drink something with some actual alcohol in it. And when, at the end of the commercial, the other person asks “So what did you do last night?” I think “Nothing.” Really is an appropriate response, since it’s true.
Rant: America And Its Corrupted Political System Or Whatever
America. What an extraordinarily broad topic. Since it was the Fourth of July yesterday, I might as well cover this nation in general…however this most certainly won’t be a patriotic rant. America has quite a few problems worth addressing, and a right-wing list of compliments wouldn’t exactly improve the country in any way. But there are so many problems to address. I could use as an example the recent Supreme Court decision ruling in favor of random drug tests for any high school student involved in any after school activity, which directly violates the fourth amendment. I could cite as an example the gigantic corporation Enron, which, after funding almost every congressman in existence, went bankrupt, impoverishing millions of employees, and leaving the executives as rich as ever. I could cite the giant tax cut prior to September 11th, which benefited the rich and ravaged our economy. However, I won’t just dwell on individual issues, since every country has some, but will try to show some of the main problems with this country. America was originally created by the founding fathers who seeked refuge from the strict ruling of the British monarchy. America was the first country of its kind, created for the people (well…sorta. It was actually intended for the EDUCATED people, as proven by our incredibly stupid electoral collage). It was created for the people in mind because our founding fathers had been oppressed by the British as well. Don’t doubt that; it’s fairly obvious when you think about it. The Iraqi government, the Chinese government, the Irani government, and numerous others (including ours, to some extent) treat their people poorly because they themselves do not know what it is liked to be oppressed. Had these governmental officials lived among the ranks of their people, then the likelihood of the general population being mistreated would be much lower. And that is why America was formed. Because the people’s leaders had had the same treatment as their people. Nowadays, the circumstances are incredibly different. America is the most powerful, richest, and most influential country in the world, and our politicians have little need of honesty or care of their people. Most American politicians who can afford to run for office have been rich enough to never experience poverty and have no desire to aid the people. The majority of politicians twist the meanings of the constitution to their own beliefs, and use governmental money for their own interests (even in the current recession, money has been used by congressmen to build museums in their own districts). I would like to mention Clinton’s health care bill that was created to give governmental health insurance to every citizen to prevent insurance companies’ intervention in patient’s care (I could write a whole rant on THAT. My dad’s staff spends their entire day lying to the insurance companies to convince them to let him keep his patients in the hospital). The bill was turned down by conservatives who’s campaigns were funded by drug and insurance companies. Money is also used to gain voters. The majority of tax money for groups like farmers have been given to them by republicans. Consequently, the majority of farmers are conservatives, even though fairly poor, and not helped too much by the tax breaks. America has also led itself to believe that it is immune to attack, even with so many enemies. September 11th is the perfect example. It could have been avoided all so easily, yet nothing like it had ever happened before, and thus no one knew what course of action to take when it occurred. And America was not only devastated because of the loss of life; they were devastated because the people’s security was lost. The people finally realized that we aren’t special just because we are in America, and our useless military with its anti-Russian carriers would be no help against bands of terrorists. And now we have our absurd, ineffective, politically correct security, and it’s pitiful that America hasn’t realized that not letting people park on the High Street Bridge on the Fourth of July isn’t going to save anyone’s life. Why no one could realize that spending billions of dollars creating a cabinet position (of which its only accomplishment so far has been a color code (Today we are on emergency level toupe; urgent))is absolutely pathetic. And why people STILL insist that we’re different or special just because of our county is also beyond me. My conclusion; the government is corrupt, officials only care about themselves, and America as a long way to go before it can really be as good as it claims it is.
I’d like to clarify something; America is not bad. In fact, we have it so much better here than in most countries that most of us have no idea what true oppression is (I’m not saying that I’m a patriot by any means; quite the opposite, in fact. That’s pretty damned obvious. But being a patriot nowadays not only means respecting your country (which I don’t for said reasons; my respect must be merited, and the United States has a long way to go until it does), but accepting political decisions and propaganda without thought. Therefore, I could never be a “true” patriot in any country). However, there is also (especially in the conservative ranks) corruption, bribery, unconstitutional activities, and other general stupidity, and something must be done.
Am I the only one who calls the secretary of state Colin Bowel? I thought so.
THIS is fucking hilarious. THIS is, too. In fact, the whole page is pretty funny.
Rant: Self Pity Or Whatever
I need a life. I could go into that, but I won’t. Regardless of that, though, I feel like typing some shit. If you don’t like it, leave. I cannot state that enough. If you are offended or do not wish to continue reading the random bullshit that spouts from my head, than don’t read my random bullshit. Alright, now on to the other shit that I felt like typing:
I’m pissed off. Really, what’s there not to be pissed off about? The world sucks, and is mostly populated by morons and people who just cannot seem to understand the most obvious things. And then there’s the constant boredom, the really odd and mentally retarded little sister, the druggie-mom…and I need a fucking friend, dammit! So, in short, everything sucks. But what is good about this pathetic planet that I inhabit (and our race is conveniently destroying…so I guess there won’t be much good about it, soon…not that there ever was, of course…)? Nasal spray is excellent. It really cures the irritation and pain of a clogged nose quickly and effectively. Meat is a wonderful product of animal death. Additionally, it really angers PETA, which is one of the few things which makes me enjoy life. Not to mention that meat is absolutely delicious. Fish, on the other hand, are also a byproduct of animal death, however are rarely as delicious as dead and decaying cows and poultry. Cardboard is a wonderful substance which, although relatively weak, can be used to hold the useless shit that we all own during our meaningless existences. Rubber bands are rubbery, however paperclips aren’t papery. For some reason I find that amusing, if not just to show how wonderfully pitiful the English language is. I myself prefer Hebrew, however I can’t seem to remember much of it. I enjoy Hebrew because no one else understands what I am writing, which is usually a very good thing. Needles are fun because they can cause both pain and productivity. Ultraviolet lights are also rather enjoyable, not only because they cause certain things to glow with a bright, neon color, but also because they can cause cancer. I don’t really enjoy cancer. Granted, it does kill off people who are stupid enough to smoke, but it isn’t something which I personally enjoy for various (obvious and non-obvious) reasons. (Additionally, cancer didn’t like my grandmother, apparently.) I like the blue piece of plastic which I use to clean my computer monitor. Not only does it have a very amusing little brush-thing on the end of it, but it also displays the phone number of Maryview hospital, so if I was in need I could get inadequate hospital care by the underpaid, understaffed, workers at Maryview. AND it has a piece of Velcro (for some reason, MS Word decided to capitalize the word ‘Velcro’. I don’t know why. I think it might be a brand name or something, but I’m not sure). Velcro is an absolutely marvelous invention which allows you to stick certain things on to other things. So, in the rare instance that you ever need to attack certain things on to other certain things, you can use Velcro® (just incase…). I own an Apollo 13 mission patch, and I can hold it up an proudly say “I wasn’t actually ON Apollo 13, but had I been, I would own a mission patch just like this one!” However, that doesn’t bring much joy to my life, since I don’t do it all that often. Well, OK, I do that SOMETIMES, but that should have NOTHING TO DO with anything, OK? Nothing at all! Good. I also own an action figure with its head removed. I can place its head in its hand and pretend it’s some sort of bizarre, Hamlet-like thing. I also own stuffed heads of both Sylvester® AND Tweety Bird®, and whenever you hit them, they say incomprehensible things in Spanish. I have a little resin model of the US Capitol building that is slumped in such a way that it partially resembles the Leaning Tower Of Pisa (I don’t see why people don’t capitalize the first letter of words like ‘of’. ‘Of’ is perfectly worthy of capitalization, and should not be excluded from the privileges of larger words. It is a big right-wing conspiracy which caused small words to lose their privileges; we should not let these small, under appreciated words loose their freedoms to the over appreciated likes of conservatives). My mother got it for me as a birthday present from The Dollar Tree®. In conclusion, life sucks, but there are a few small things which can make it more enjoyable. But not many, like my computer, which decided to crash on me, since I’ve been typing for longer than it’s over exasperated CPU can handle. Fuck this piece of shit…and fuck you all, too. None of you have made my life any more worth living, and I hate you for it. I need a FRIEND, dammit! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to crawl up in a corner somewhere and pity myself.
I'm going to New York! Haha! And you aren't! Haha!
Rant: New York And General Depression
Since I know this will become a rant about 9-11, I’d like to deduce my two main points from my recent trip to New York before that happens: #1: Vanilla Coke sucks, and, #2: if you are ever offered ketchup flavored ice cream, refuse it. Since I had both on my short trip, I’d like to explain how I came to taste BOTH Vanilla Coke and ketchup ice cream in the same general period of time. Well, the Vanilla Coke story isn’t too interesting; there was Vanilla Coke in the vending machine on one of the stops off of the New Jersey turnpike; the ad said that I should reward my curiosity, but, as my sister said, I punished my curiosity instead. Vanilla Coke, with all due respect, tastes like someone decided to take a leak inside of the bottle. It tasted like regular Coke with an added urine flavor. Reward your curiosity indeed. As for the ketchup ice cream, that sucked, too. I should have taken a pizza or horseradish flavored cone, instead (Yum…maror ice cream…). I got the ice cream at a small ice cream shop in Kew Garden Hills, one of the extremely Jewish cities in Queens, with black hatters running rampant. I’m somewhat religious, but when you’re shunned for wearing pants, it’s a little more than I can tolerate. Well, anyway, there’s an ice cream shop, and they have really weird ice cream flavors. It tasted like…ketchup. On an ice cream cone. Not much of a story there, either. Oh well. No one gives a shit, anyway. But one over obvious thing I noted while I was there is BEGIN 9-11 RANT AND GENERAL SENTIMENTALISMhow utterly pitiful the skyline looks. I used to stare at the Twin Towers for as long as I could, but now it’s like there’s nothing to look at anymore. The skyline looks so…ugly, with the Empire State Building sticking up amongst the sea of buildings like…I don’t know…it just sucks. On 9-11, I couldn’t feel sorry for any of the people that died; I just don’t have the capacity or care to feel for any of those people, to tell you the truth, and I felt rather guilty about it at the time, but I felt for the buildings. I felt for the two monstrous inanimate objects that towered in the New York skyline until about 11 o’clock on September 11th. Of course the US had it coming, of course we could have done an infinite number of things to prevent it, but on 9-11, the only thing I could think was “Why MY buildings?” and not any type of normal pain, or any type of rational or sentimental thoughts for the people that died, or for their families…and suddenly, for the first time since I stopped caring, I felt guilty. As if by feeling bad for thousands of people I never met I could have done something. Humans are strange like that; as if individual people mattered. As if FEELINGS matter. Nothing matters in this world. There are 6 billion people, and only several thousand have any type of impact. And if those influential people were the ones who died on 9-11, not only would it matter much more, but our political systems, our businesses, our schools, the whole system as we know it would collapse and fall into disarray. And I don’t think we could recover. Not soon, at any rate. Humans NEED order and leadership. No nation can be run entirely by its citizens. And no one would know what to do if the system collapses on itself like my two buildings had. And as for the rest of the people; we’re all the insignificant byproducts of society. We were born without fanfare, and that’s how we will die. Only the few matter, unless you happen to die in some chance circumstance which can be used to elect some bureaucrat; someone who really does matter. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go and take my medication now…it gives me a will to live.
I'd like to say something about this rant and my medication, since the latter has gotten me into quite a bit of trouble lately; (see: Israel...whenever I get to typing about it...) most of my rants are just random musings which I type in a few minutes; this rant took me at least an hour to write. I stared blankly at the screen, trying to, in some way, convey the depression I was feeling when I typed this. However, I realized that I just couldn't do it. I suck at writing, for one thing, but the overwhelming depression seemed to make it impossible to write at all. So, if you would, reread this rant, and concentrate on the last part. No, seriously. Do it. Try to understand the depression that I was feeling. It's a powerful feeling, and a rather useful one at that. Now, onto a little clarification about my medication: I DO take an antidepressant, but that really doesn't matter. What the drug does is prevent my depression from getting overwhelming. It really has very little effect, but during the typing of this rant the depression got somewhat overwhelming, and in that situation the drug improved (in a stereotypical sense) my mood to the point where it became bearable again. That is NOT (I'm fairly certain, anyway...) the reason I got sick in Israel; that was more complex. But never mind that.
I Don't Know What The Hell This Is: Self Assurance, I Guess.
Today has sucked. My brain, ransacked by its lack of sleep, and my body, ravaged by heat and dehydration have not gone well in combination with Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. If you are in need of sleep, than this is not the ideal book to read. It’s too thought provoking. Especially for me, since I relate to almost everything written in that book, down to some of the scariest mental instabilities and questions faced by the title character. However, I do have enough strength to control myself from going on a murderous rampage until the time is right. Yet that book disturbed me somewhat, not only because of how eerily well I relate to protagonist, if you will, short of the insanity, but I also realized that there is still some good lurking within me. I wasn’t necessarily surprised that I still have SOME good; Hitler, for instance, was quite fond of puppies. But my good tends to intermingle with my loneliness and depression, creating a terrible feeling of inadequacy and need for some sort of love or friendship, neither of which I have with anyone anymore (making the feeling rather unbearable, if you will...someone IM me now...seriously...). Yet this goodness did not reappear as a vulnerability or a sense of self-loathing or a need for others; it appeared as an odd childlike innocence that I have not felt since I was very, very young. Something that left me long ago reappeared suddenly. Some sort of joyous ignorance, as if I was cared for again. And this odd innocence appeared while I was reading a book about brutal murder. But it wasn’t because I had fallen into insanity; I’m sure of that. It appeared for the first time in years, and reminded me that I really am not like that. That there is SOME good still left in me, and that good apparently controls my actions more than I previously thought. Alright; sorry for that. A short rant of a person who hasn’t slept for two days. But I typed it. Because this is MY fucking webpage, and…I don’t know. Maybe I needed to type that. To reassure myself that I haven’t lost myself to myself yet. Do you get it? Oh well. One day maybe you’ll be lucky enough too. And if you aren’t…well, click the link of geekiness above…the show mentioned helps with that kind of thing, so I’ve found. Alright…back to lifting heavy objects, now. Moving sucks.
Rant: Some Jewish Stupidity. This Sucks, But It Had To Be Said.
Today is a holiday. “It is?” Yes, it is. There are more holidays than just your (for the most part) pathetic Christian holidays, of which you only really have one. But today is a Jewish holiday. Yet none of us are really happy. It is a sad holiday. Yes, there are sad holidays. I personally don’t find this one especially depressing since, 1-it’s (according to people who didn’t experience it) a stupid reason to be sad, 2-it’s near impossible to be sad on demand, 4-I AM allowed to use electricity on this one, 4-I took my medication (now I’m hateful, but I’m ENJOYING being hateful). Today is called Tisha B’Av (the ninth of Av (a month of the Jewish calendar)), and we’re supposed to be sad because the temple was destroyed, and the Jews faced what could be called their first holocaust and mass exile (although, I CAN be sad because the temple was destroyed for one reason: they killed animals several times a day, and everyone could watch. I really missed something, there…). Great. So, what do we do to convey sadness? Instead of not using electricity or being allowed to write/draw, which makes me very sad on happy holidays, we are not allowed to eat or drink for 25 hours. You read correctly; anyone over the age of 13 (12 for a girl in the Orthodox community) is not allowed to eat or drink any food or liquid whatsoever for 25 (no, not a day. A JEWISH HOLIDAY day. For some reason they (not me; I’m the voice of logic and reason, remember?) decided that an actual day wasn’t enough, that G-d would not be pleased with only 24 hours of hunger and dehydration, as if G-d couldn’t do his job until we ceased eating, which HE made necessary, for only 24 hours; no, we need ANOTHER ADDITIONAL HOUR of starvation! What…idiocy!!! Jesus!…and I don’t even BELIEVE in the guy…(fun fact: my grandfather used to say, “Jesus Christ, almighty!”)) hours. I respect Judaism greatly. I barely believe it anymore, but the religion in itself has some very valid points and teaches how to live a decent lifestyle. It also, of course, keeps the ignorant of us submissive. But this is stupid beyond belief. The various councils of Rebbi’s and Sanhedrin…thousands of people working to refine and define all of these rules, and THIS is the best they can come up with? It’s insulting to my religion…a Chilul Hashem, if you happen to know Hebrew. It makes the religion look utterly stupid and not at all revolutionary, like it really was. What the hell’s up with sacrificing, anyway? That looks utterly barbaric and primitive, yet chapters and chapters are devoted to it and other such ancient-religion-type laws. That’s one of things that proves a lack of G-d (although not entirely, I’ll never explain that, though) for me. If the Torah said, “In the beginning, the big bang occurred. The universe as we know it emerged out of one atom. As the atoms began to spread out, the atoms began to combine due to atomic attractions, which I created. As they got bigger, a force called gravity pulled them towards each other. Gravity works…etc. Sorry, I love physics. But anyway, it describes the universe in an ancient way, and nothing with any insight of how it actually works. Not to mention that it groups the sun with the moon instead of the stars, and the bat as a bird. It sounds rather…imperfect. I was told that this was an ideal way to explain the universe to the primitive people of thousands of years ago, but that doesn’t explain the sacrificing; seemingly meaningless killing of animals, which the Torah essentially prohibits. But then, the later text is filled with even worse absurdities and seemingly random laws from fanatics, and stuff which…well, I’m wondering how the hell some of this stuff could have possible gotten in there. But on to the criticizing of the Sanhedrin; WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THE IDEA THE MOOD IS ONLY BASED ON FOOD CONSUMPTION!? Eat a lot on a holiday! Don’t eat if you’re sad! What the hell!!? What WERE you people smoking? Can I have some? But I jest...Well, NOW I’m hungry. I wasn’t hungry during dinner, but now that I haven’t eaten anything all day (and the fast started tonight, so I won’t have eaten or drunk much of anything for two days…joy.) I am. Woofuckinghoo(that IS funny!).
I'm going back to New York, and after that I'm going to Israel for three weeks. I am not afraid, because if I blow up no one will miss me (or my bad punctuation). If I have computer access (I SHOULD, I'll be at the Technion (Israel's MIT...it's a smart-teen trip)), then you'll hear from me. If not...well, then, you won't. That is all.
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears...I don't think any comment is necessary. I would also like you note that I have a whole BOOK full of Bush quotes (It's called Bushisms. Get it.)...hehe...
Jade187311: You have a weird way of thinking. YES!
Oh, here are some nifty links. They are so very nifty: nifty/nifty (same theme; I just didn't know which one was niftier (or whatever)), and more niftyness.
Update From Israel
Well...I'm in Israel. OK. I only have about 5 minutes of computer time, and although I've thought through so much random shit that I could type about 45 of these rants I obviously don't have enough time, and additionally I've got an entire summer camp watching me type (she said 'shit'!), so I'll have to wait until later. Uh...yeah.
Random Thoughts, None Of Which Necessarily Contain Any Worthwhile Information
I was in Israel for three weeks. Then I was at my grandmother’s over the weekend. Now I’m at home. Although I’m not really at home; I’m at the house that my parents moved into while I was away. This isn’t my home. I know where the electrical outlets are at my home. I also know where all of my stuff is. Also, my bed shouldn’t be assembled backwards. I can’t sleep; I’m in my room, but it’s not my room. Everything is out of place, and the walls are off-white. I hate off-white. It looks like regular white that has been saturated with urine. And my room smells like it, too. Also, although the house, this big, spooky, 100 year old construction of ugliness, is about twice as large as my old one, my bedroom is twice as small. Which means that it only fits half of the shit I’ve accumulated. School starts in less than a week. The summer was boring enough for me to produce the majority of this webpage, but school is not something that I have ever looked forward too. I hate feeling like an ant; a mindless creature that abides by authority, no matter how stupid its bidding. But when I’m in school, there really is no other way to feel. I have to subjugate myself to the wonderful educational system, which I believe I have already written about at length. If I haven’t, someone let me know, so I can write about it at length. Even if I already have I probably will again sometime during the school year, since I’m not thinking about much else during the school year. Well, I might as well write about Israel, but this is a sort of haphazard accumulation of three weeks of thought and experiences. Read at your own risk:
My mom told me one morning that I was going to take a test. “For what?” I asked. My mom told me about this program that she saw an ad for in the paper. Two online tests are given; the top 25 from the US and Canada and the top 25 from Israel get to meet each other and spend three weeks together in Israel. “So, tomorrow you’re taking this test.” As anyone who knows either me or my disposition could gather, I was somewhat suspicious. As far as I knew, Mr. Castillo could have placed that ad, so I had my reasons to be suspicious. Plus, the first question on the test was “What is 1.5 divided by .5”, so I figured that my place in this program was assured. It was, actually, but from what I heard there was actually some competition to get in. Don’t ask me why; except for the poor translations in the study material for the second test, none of it was very hard. But idiocy is one thing that never will cease to amaze me, and this was only another opportunity for it to do so. I went to Israel and met 50 smart kids (a great group of people, if I might say so myself. And it takes a lot to make me compliment anyone, let alone a group of 49 other people). Actually, a large majority of them were smart-stupid kids. Everyone there was intelligent; that was obvious, but so many spent their time thinking about such insignificant things. It was actually kind of sad; so much lost potential, if you will. But then again, more opportunity for me. Greedy, greedy me. On a partially related note, so many of the people there spent so much time trying to make me happy. I hated that. I’ve written extensively on happiness, and I would have thought that intelligent people would have realized that if I wanted to waste my time being happy I would have done so without their encouragement. I don’t see a point to happiness; I find it more like heroin. People become addicted to it, in a sense, and spend all of their time searching for more and more happiness, like some sort of narcotic, and I want no part of it. Over that three week period, as I stated earlier, about 893 (893 is the meaning of life (not 42; the author was off)) individual rants (and, for once, good ones. Much better than any of the shit I put on this webpage) went through my head, most of which I’ve forgotten. Before I skip to the night when I hyperventilated and subsequently got kicked out of Israeli science camp (because I forgotten everything else), I’d like to mention something. When I was in Israel, we were played a tape of a song in Hebrew, the translation being along these lines: this is my land, and I’ll never give it up, and I’ll live for this land, and I’ll die for this land, and this land will never be taken away from me even if I have to die for it…etc. This begs the obvious question: why do you people care so much!? It’s LAND! Dirt and rocks! INFERTILE dirt and rocks, for the most part! Why does it matter so much!? From when I was very little I was always told that Israel was my home. But why? My religion was formed there, but why does this impact my ideal dwelling place? I always think of my home as Pawtucket, Rhode Island, since that’s where I’m from, but I wouldn’t die for it, by any means. And even Rhode Island is nothing more than dirt and rocks to me without anyone I know living there. So why is Israel, with all of its hostile neighbors and weird Israelis (har!), supposed to be my home? Once again, I asked my mom about this. She got angry. How dare I not blindly accept everything I’ve been told? Once she got over her initial rage, she told me that it’s where Avraham (Abraham, you damned Christians) walked. That sounds much too insensible and…well, Christian to be used as an excuse. Really, that excuse is idol worship in a more minor form, caring where a man walked, as if he was anymore than that, even if he was my ancestor. But I might as well get back to the Night I Hyperventilated And Subsequently Got Kicked Out Of Israeli Science Camp: I don’t feel like typing the technicalities, but essentially it was hot, I was tired, I got rather anxious (I'm keeping that part out to retain whatever sanity I have left), and I hyperventilated. No big deal; it would have happened to anyone under those circumstances. And then I felt fine. Nonetheless, my jackass counselors, after I’d been feeling perfectly fine for about a half hour, called the paramedics. The jackass paramedics sent me to the emergency room. The jackass doctor in the ER was clinically insane. I do not exaggerate. As I stated earlier, I do take anxiety medication, but also, as I stated earlier, its main effect is that it controls my mom’s anxiety over me. It is also a fairly low dosage; it's only effect would essentially be as placebo. But this doctor was obsessed with the medication. He, in effect, told me that only 4 criminally insane people in Israel take this medication, and therefore I must be one of them (I'm not criminally insane JUST YET...I'm trying to avoid it...). He asked me if I heard voices and if I saw illusions of people that disappeared. Seriously. He then told me that, due to the medication, I needed to stay in the hospital overnight to be evaluated by a psychiatrist the next morning. I’d like to state that I’m not especially insane (yet), and I don’t spend ALL of my time thinking about killing people, and how thinking about it necessarily translates into action I do not know. But this doctor was insistent, and I spent the night in the pediatric ward(this was after him keeping me up until four am). Pediatric wards are creepy. Not only are they hospitals with all the monitors and scalpels and such, but they also have pictures of Disney® cartoons badly painted on the walls. My little room (with 2 other kids, both 10 years younger than me) had the seven dwarves painted on the wall, walking on a log that floated in midair. It’s witchcraft! Scary! Uh...yeah. Bambi was also painted on the wall. Not only is he scary just because of those inhumanely (or indeerly, I guess) giant eyes, but in the pediatric ward, thinking of him saying, “Where’s my mom?” is also rather creepy in an odd sort of way. Anyway, I slept for a consecutive 10 minutes. When I awoke, I think the entire medical population of Israel was standing around my bed. I sort of yelled in shock, and all the doctors laughed. Fuck them. I then was taken to see the psychiatrist; after she and my counselor argued in Hebrew about the dosage of my medication, I was told that everyone made too big a deal of the whole thing, and that I should go home. Yay. When I was leaving the hospital I saw the creepy “Do you hear voices?” doctor again (he also told me that I should keep my medication in the wrapper because someone might mistake it for candy. As if I had a million people searching the deep compartments of my backpack for pink and translucent-yellow candy. Yum, Paxil®!). I looked at the release form he wrote for me; it said I hadn’t taken my medication for days. “But I’ve taken my medication.” I told him. “No you didn’t.” “Yes I did!” I think brutal murder would have actually been better for the world in this situation ("are you criminally insane?" *chop*), but I restrained myself. However, the jackass doctor wouldn’t relent. The heads of the camp received his letter, which I was also told said that I should be returned to parental care immediately, and then kicked me out of the camp for the remaining week. Well, sort of. In reality (I'm fairly sure of this, actually) I was kicked out because the one man in charge feared that I might begin hyperventilating again and kill everyone in the dorm. And then their parents would sue, and he's just terrified at the thought of being sued. Actually, Zvi Jankolevitz (DEATH TO THIS MAN!!!), the jackass in charge, decided that he hated me, and wouldn’t even let me meet with the group again. And so I spent the last week in Israel under parental care, which was probably as close to hell as a 15 year old can come. Not to mention that I was with my sister, and whoever knows her knows how unpleasant sleeping in the same room as her (or being within 893 miles of her) was. I think that that doctor is more likely to bring me to an eventual murderous rampage that most anything else I’ve ever encountered. So, to quote Hagit (even though she, hopefully, will never visit this webpage), “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
Just a short note about Iraq (because I CAN, dammit!): George Bush wants to be an ass and declare war on Iraq. What the hell is he doing? Does he really want to wipe out all of civilization in a nuclear war just because his father lost? Why the...-wait a minute, what am I saying? That'd be great! Mass murder is FUN! I suddenly have an urge to become Republican... *and then the authorities take her away...*
I think that at this point I need to state that I base my political views on what I know is right, and not what I'd like. Otherwise, as long as pain and suffering occurred, I would be pleased with the government. *Once again, the authorities take her away...far, far away...*
The Required “First Day Of School” Rant:
School. This word creates a vile hatred in most children and teenagers, but for me even more so than most. Most people despise school only because of the work given. I dislike it because of work, too, somewhat, but there are plenty of reasons that I hate school and the way that people have come to be educated. And what I hate the most is how the horrendous educational system is accepted by everyone without a second thought. I have written plenty about this topic before, but since today was the first day of school for me and other Norfolk Collegiate students (August 22nd! What the hell!?), I believe I have an adequate excuse to address this topic again, but this time in a semi-different format: the “Rant While Telling A Story” format. Since I’ve addressed the whole school issue in the past (I think…if I didn’t I probably will later, anyway), I will list some small, yet significant things that anger me. Now then, let’s begin:
The day began much too early, as it does during every school day. I never thought it necessary for school to start as early as it does. It actually seems somewhat harmful to wake teenagers at 7am, and since no one is actually awake, concentration and tolerance (as well as sanity, as anyone who knows me would know) suffer as a result. When people are fully awake, they can stand the lack of freedom and unnecessarily rigid schedule that they must adhere to during the duration of the school day. However, a lack of sleep creates sort of a resistance to the regulations imposed during the school day. However, not a good kind of resistance; more of a stupidity type of resistance. People stop working, and instead of doing something useful, sit around and skip class or interrupt it. Anyway, when I arrived to school I went to homeroom and received a piece of paper. Then I went to an assembly and then came back to homeroom for another piece of paper. You’d think that they could have planned that better…anyway, the assembly is what I’d prefer to focus on. Everyone got up, said the pledge, had our little “10 solemn seconds of partially observed silence” thing (they usually say the Lord’s prayer, actually. I memorized it, being the good Jew I am), and our…I have no idea what his title is. At Hebrew Academy there was “English Principal” and “Hebrew Principal”, here there is “Director Of Academic Inquiry In The Subject Matter Of Western (And A Little Southern) Civilization” and such. Well, no matter. Mr. Morissette came up and gave a long, utterly stupid speech. Why are we required to hear such things? He doesn’t have to listen to MY long, stupid, and random speeches; why should 500 children be required to listen to his? I forgot exactly what he said during that time, but I remember that the stupidity and randomness of the speech made me very angry. I remember the few last sentences, though, were the following: “Now we are back at school. We are here to do what we do best: be students.” I stared in shock. “My life is no longer worth living,” I later told an acquaintance”. “He said that I am best at being a student.” (I quoted myself, because I am just sooo nifty. Victoria, who I wrote the yearbook rant for, came up to me this morning and said that she had attached the print out copy I gave to her to her locker. I have no idea why I just typed that. Oh well. There are worse things I could do. Hey, have you noticed that I haven’t typed the word “fuck” yet in this rant? Oops, too late. Oh well. Maybe I should just go to sleep. Yes, that would be nice. Ok. No, wait. Must write. Must…wri…-ZZZZZZ…Uh, what? Oh, yes. The rant. Ok…) Well, I will let you know that the rest of the day for the most part, for space and sleep interests, was rather uninteresting. I actually want to learn some more algebra, being the geek I am, economics really does look kind of interesting, and I’ll always be interested in chemistry, even if I have to memorize that list of ions again. I love chem., but people who aren’t interested shouldn’t have to take it. Same with anything past basic math: make only the necessary things required. It is only a waste to teach that blonde girl in the back of the room geometry, and it is only a waste teaching me Spanish. And it’s a waste making everyone take health seminar. Holy shit, what a waste that class is. And I have to dress nicely to give the required 25-minute power point presentation. All I OWN is bright green T-shirts. Stops bothering me about those: I don’t buy them. I’d like to be able to form my own wardrobe at some point, but it really isn’t such a high priority for me. Not as high as figuring out the world or learning C, for instance. Well, I’d like to skip to Mr. Payne’s class, since although it was the last class of the day, it was certainly the most memorable. That guy is scary. He wallpapered (not just put pictures of; actually wallpapered) his room with Beatles and surfing posters. Now, the Beatles are great, but I don’t want George Harrison staring at me like that all year. He’s got this really perverted look in that picture…I have no idea why he’d be staring at me if that was his interest, but I, as I never stop doing, digress. Anyway, he talks really quietly, never shuts up, and talks about brutal French-Revolution-era murder. Well, OK, I liked that part, but that’s besides the point. At this point have my evil under control; he has it flying everywhere, randomly slipping into his ramblings. Mr. Payne is an insane hippie freak. He is the definition of insane hippie freak. I bet that he and Mr. Cook hang out after school to smoke pot and molest unsuspecting children (Mr. Castillo used to work with them, but unfortunate circumstances prevent him from doing so today (This is my teacher! No, really!)). I don’t feel like typing anymore, or forming a conclusion of any sort, so all of you will just have to suffer. Ha ha.
“Teach me bad words,” Said my sister. “No,” I replied. “You think that I’m too young, don’t you!? Well, I’m not! Teach me bad words!”, answered my sister. “No! You’re the last person I’d teach them to.” I said. “You think I’m too young! Well, I’m not! Teach them to me or I’ll kill you!!!” “I doubt you could do that, and I won’t teach any to you!” My mom entered the room. “Mom, Sarah won’t teach me any bad words because she thinks I’m too young!”, said my sister. “No, I just don’t want to teach her any bad words!” I yelled in reply. “Bad words aren’t something to take pride in,” said my mom (albeit less coherently, but that’s the basic idea) “No one in this family takes pride in knowing any bad words, nor do we use them. They are not nice, give a bad impression of us on others, and are nothing to take pride in. Sarah doesn’t use them because she knows it.” I sat in the corner of the room, nodding solemnly. Ignorance really IS bliss.
Randomness At Its Finest; A Fluctuation Between Total Despair, Hatred Of Music, And Hatred Of Excessive Talking
I feel like writing. I don't really know about what. I'm not even going to open up MS Word; I just need to funnel the random thoughts from my brain into the rest of the world unaltered and uncorrected. Life is too long. It's always wasted. I'm sitting here at 3:40 am, utterly bored but hardly tired. This entire fucking webpage is a result of my boredom. And yet I like it. I like the boredom. I really don't know why; I guess I'm just weird. "Different" is what people say in response. This isn't different; it's weird to be different. Therefore I am weird. I spend my time writing about things I can never change, mostly about school, since it is all I know. I feel so restricted, as if I could make a difference elsewhere. Society is screwed up, humanity is screwed up, and I got caught up somewhere in the middle. And I absolutely hate humanity. I hate it or being do hypocritical, for messing up so badly...at one point utopia was possible, I'm sure of it. If humanity would abandon its instincts anything could be possible, but no one ever even considers controlling their stupid and instinctive thoughts as a possibility. I hate that, and I think it justifies what I've become; an empty vehicle of hatred, if you will. These people who encourage friendships pushed me away when I was young, and they've twisted me so much that I'll never really be friends with anyone again. I don't trust people enough to entrust them with my friendship, and I don't see why anyone does. I always put the blame on everyone else, as if I wasn't responsible for anything, even though I'm just like them now. Not hypocritical. Or dishonest. Just bitter. Although I have perfect reason, I succumb to my instincts; I think about killing these people, and about violence, and I can't control my thoughts as well as would be beneficial, and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost now... talking to anyone doesn't help; I only feel guilty for trusting someone as much as I did. And I don't want to put my trust in anyone, I don't want to be dependent on anything whatsoever, and I don't know what to do. Maybe seeing how lost the stupid kids are at school will improve my mood and show me that I'm not as lost as the 400 or so that swarm the building everyday. But still, I'm starting to loose control of myself. No, not that... I never had control. I just never thought such things before. I'll simplify things for myself and everyone, and maybe do something therapeutic for myself; complain about the evil leech twins of doom. These two people (two of the same person, too) screwed up everything from second grade forward. I hate these two people more than anyone else in the entire world except for that girl who insulted me and my religion to my face. (your friend, Lindsey. I really do want her dead more than anyone else alive, although you probably already knew that). Great, I thought about murder again. Even if it is the person that I hate more than anyone else alive. And I really don't see a reason NOT to kill her, which scares me more than anything else. I have no moral foundation whatsoever, and that's a pretty damn scary thing to realize. What IS wrong with it? This girl is an idiot, has no future, and made me angrier than I ever had been in my whole life. I just don't have the respect for humanity anymore to know what is wrong with killing. That is scary. Terrifying. Well, beyond words, really. So much so that I believe I typed it a few times. Anyway, I have a song stuck in my head. I hate that, too. Not the song; music in general. Actually, not music; more of what it's become. Cultures are formed by genres, people devote their lives to bands, and music is exploited for money. I hate it. I once liked a band that was considered "uncool", and my image was suddenly that of a different person, as if I was someone else because I liked different music. And I remember in 6th grade trying so desperately to fit in, buying music that I didn't like...I'm glad that I've at least gotten over that. Since then I've hated music in general. I hate how the industry functions, I hate the fame and fortune that people with no talent (and are completely undeserving. Being a musician should be a part time job; these people deserve little money for writing three-minute pieces of music every few years. And don't even get me started on boy bands...(oh, I hate money, too, but I won't get into that))get, and I hate how teenagers absolutely devote themselves to music. It is entertainment; nothing more (for the most part. I know some thought provoking music, but none of it is mainstream enough to make a difference). No one should spend so much time on entertainment, and no one should exploit people for liking different music. Something doesn't "suck" just because you don't like it. If you don't like it, then don't listen to it. No one should project their opinions on something so insignificant to the rest of the world. In fact, I don't think that people should loudly project ANY random thought for the rest of the world to hear. I've heard way too much about boys, clothing, music, and anything else stupid imaginable than I'd ever care to. One of the reasons I don't talk much is because I don't find it necessary to. There is no point to what most people say, and I don't just project profound thoughts wherever I go (contrary to popular belief, of course), either. So lets just all shut up for a little while, ok? Think of it; no stupid 'is not; is too' arguments with my sister, no idiotic lectures, and no Spanish class. (or health seminar; that class is such a waste that it can actually be smelled from miles away) Waste is bad. Don't do it (EDIT: unless it's rainbow beef, of course...but those jackasses only give 20 minutes for lunch...I couldn't finish my rainbow beef even if I wanted it) And, while we're at it, be honest, and I might gain some sort of respect for you.
Out of boredom I copied this webpage into MS Word, Changed the font to Times New Roman (size 12, of course), and saw that I have typed 43 pages. That is absolutely insane.
"In a mad world only the mad are sane" -Akira Kurosawa I'm not sure if I typed that before, but that is a great quote.
"We have heavily researched this issue for 7 months, and yet we still remain opposed to proposition of an Eeeeeeeyroov." -the representative for some sort of Norfolk league-council thing at today's Eruv hearings Well, the city of Norfolk is getting an Eruv, but not without much controversy (as well as ignorance and good ol' southern prejudice). I'll write about it tomorrow; it's 12:30 and I still haven't finished my homework. I'll also try to have something MEANINGFUL up here for once by Shabbos, but don't bet on it.
Unfortunately I couldn’t write about the Eruv yesterday. However, since keeping my word as best as I can is most likely my top priority, I present you with: “The Partially Forgotten And Subsequently No Longer Amusing Account Of The “Eruv Trials (It Sounds Like Some Lawyer Book, Doesn’t It?)” . Also included in this rant will be some profound words from my father that he told me earlier today, since I’ll be in NY on Shabbos (BAA(G)F, I’m coming! Don’t worry; I know you didn’t get it). Well, here is the account of The Eruv Trials as I remember it:
After a long, confusing journey to the city council building (I don’t see why it was that hard to find; the only other governmental looking buildings are the prison and the court house, but my mother IS, after all, my mother, so that’s to be expected), my mother and I took a seat in the courtroom. Inside of the room was four groups of people; the Eruv supporters, the Eruv protesters (read: racists), the media, and the “council-groupies”. (“What do you want to do tonight?” “Want to go to a city council meeting?” “Sure! It’ll be FUN!”). I obviously need to write a bit of background on Eruvim and the whole issue that’s arisen over them. An Eruv (Ay-roov) is could be considered a border around a city, but that’s really not an appropriate definition. I need a bit of background on Shabbos itself to describe what an Eruv is. On Shabbos, or Saturday, Jews aren’t supposed to perform any form of work. This includes the carrying of any objects, since lifting could logically be considered a form of work. Objects are allowed to be carried within a home, however, and can also be carried within city limits is an Eruv is constructed. The Eruv, although being nothing more than a heavy fishing line strung around the city border, allows Jews to carry on Shabbos because it symbolically encloses the city, therefore deeming it a community and the place in which you live (namely, home), and thus allowing you to carry. However, permission from the local authorities is of course needed before doing something like this, since Jewish law consents the approval of local law. However, being the southern, ignorant, and prejudice city that Norfolk is, this Eruv faced a lot of opposition. People wrote in to the newspaper complaining about the Jews wanting special privileges from the government and violating the first amendment, since use of the telephone poles was requested to attach the line to (as one of us Jewish people said, “We’re not praying to these poles”). I really don’t see how this violates it, since the first amendment also allows a religion to practice freely. Nobody complains about Christmas wreaths on telephone polls, and yet this is a big deal. I don’t get it. Telephone polls really are private property, anyway. They belong to VA Power. Minor technicality, I guess. Anyway, about 10 people came to speak against the Eruv. Since I forgot most of the specifics, these people all said the following: #1: They don’t want the Eruv. #2: The Eruv is unconstitutional. #3: Don’t ask us why; it just is, dammit! #4: They don’t want to be enclosed by Jews. #5: This would encourage more Jews to come to VA (I’m serious! They openly said that they didn’t want any more of us coming here! Well, at least they’re honest…Another one of us weird Jewish people said that he would gladly assist his non-Jewish neighbors, and the person next to me began to laugh…) #6: They don’t want to be enclosed by Jews. #7: Heil Hitler! There was also one woman who insisted that the city council had been having daily meetings about this issue in secret and doing illegal things. It was really funny. She was up on the pulpit (or whatever) screaming that the councilmen were taking bribes and that Judaism being constitutional at all was a government conspiracy, we were taking over the world, killed her child for our matzah, etc. The mayor then made her sit down and she started making weird grunting noises at him. It was pretty funny. Oh, she lives two houses down from me. What fun I shall have…(bagels and fishing wire at her doorstep! The Jews have COME!) Well, in a move of sanity, the council was unanimous, and soon Jews will be carrying their bagels, fishing wire, and Christian-detonation devices into Norfolk on Shabbos (Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell that to the heretics…). So, until I can write again, if we take over the world than you can be sure that it was a mass conspiracy involving the Norfolk city council.
I’ll write something profound as soon as I can, but I really don’t have the time right now. Until then, here’s something profound that someone else said:
After telling my father about the lack of sensibility in the homework assignment that kept me up until 3am last night, my father told me the following. Although I really prefer writing my own profound thoughts, I think his beat mine in terms of …well, I don’t know; it’s just better. Well, here it is (NOTE: I am exhausted, but since I keep my word I am typing this. He said it much more eloquently than I am typing it, but I forgot the majority of what he said): “The purpose of school is to get in the way of education. It has been obvious for years that the school system fails to properly educate children, and teaches them absolutely nothing useful. This is because the point of school is to suppress individuality and innovation. Schools have always served this purpose, because society cannot thrive without conformity. Conformity keeps people in their place and prevents massive changes is the flow of society. Conformity is necessary to keep traditional society alive.”
I wrote something, but it sounds like utter shit. I'll spare you the pain (although if anyone insists I've still got it). Sorry, I can only seem to be profound on occasion since school has raped me of my creativity (and I think Mr. Payne wants to rape me of something else...he's a creepy man), but whenever I can I'll put a rant up here. Anyway, I have stuff going through my mind constantly, and yet I forget it by the time I get home to type. I've said this earlier, but if anyone has any idea at all on what I could write about, let me know. Or I will bore myself to death. Not that you care...no one cares. But still...I wanna write about something, dammit! Not that anyone gives a fuck. If I took this page down it wouldn't matter. I don't know if I need advertising or a life. Or just sleep. Mrs. Wheeler is going to die...she's stolen something like 10 hours of sleep with that fucking health seminar bullshit...I'll stop now. Yes, calm. Breath deeply. Good. Now, you're got FOUR HOURS OF HOMEWORK AND IT'S FUCKING MIDNIGHT... shit. But seriously, if anyone cares. tell me. It'll validify my existence if you do. And sadly, I'm not entirely joking.
“”Look at the fruit man!” He cried.”
"She's different; you're just Jewish." -Victoria (If she wants to die she's heading down the right path...)
Rant:...Just Read The Damn Thing Already
WARNING: I’m both extremely tired and learning to do some serious computer hacking simultaneously. I have no idea what’s going to happen here, but I really don’t give a fuck if you don’t like it. I bring you people something short, yet rather profound, in my personal opinion.
I haven’t written much lately. School has taken away all of my mental freedom, suppressing me at every available opportunity. However, I won’t let that stop me from writing a page on a topic that has, unbeknownst to myself, needed addressing since last year. I need to write this as a clarification and as a lesson to you people who care too much. The issue is a simple one; why nothing matters. Really, nothing matters. I have engrossed myself with certain (mostly) insignificant issues, politics being the foremost in my mind (for two people in particular, though I forgot who the are at the moment (not that they come here or anything) I’d just like to clarify; I DON’T care about politics. I just have a love of arguing. A very dangerous love of arguing. I’m going to get in so much trouble for it one day…) Anyway, people care only about the insignificant. Very few people whom I have ever been associated with have cared about anything else. It’s pretty damned obvious. Clothes, friends, school…people only care about what they can see. As if it mattered whether that guy was hot or that girl was boring. As if life depended on the next homework assignment. “Out of sight, out of mind.” And really, what is projected to BE more important than these things? Society has inflicted an ignorance on humanity and they’ve accepted it with open arms. From the very beginning of mankind, ignorance truly HAS been bliss. Do what everyone else does. Be the lemming if it’s cool. Embrace your way of life; it’s what you’re supposed to do. If you do what the rulers say you get a cookie. And I’m sick of bitching about it. If people want to embrace stupidity, let them do so. It is their choice. As far as I’m concerned, their stupidity is for my enjoyment. I’m absolutely indifferent. I JUST DON'T CARE. And despite my writing, I really am indifferent about most everything. No, everything. Everything any of YOU know. All of you who are too absorbed by what’s around you to venture out into the unknown; this is all there is for you. Your petty affairs. And even you who think that the world expands beyond you; you, too have been affected by the propaganda which unconsciously dictates most all of you. The universe is bigger than you; the universe is bigger than humanity; the universe is bigger than the world, and yet all of you are too fucking self-centered to know it. That’s why I hold intelligence in such high regard. The truly intelligent realize how meaningless everything they know is. An indifference to all of this is a wisdom beyond which most of you will ever know. And yet no one has ever ventured out into their little holes and said that there is anything wrong with this. Are people too stupid? Are they afraid? Or have they just no need to think? What does it matter? The damage is irreversible. But what does it matter, anyway, if the people are too dumb to realize it?
Either angelfire or I fucked up this link, so I'm going to post the gif of...my lunch. Behold:
go to THIS SITE to destroy whatever appetite (or respect for Judaism) you ever had.
I was sitting outside of shul on Rosh Hashanah, contemplating the universe as everyone else prayed. I saw a familiar person approach me. She smiled, and walked towards me. Although not in the mood to be interrupted, I really was glad that someone was willing to talk to me. I stood up and waved. "Hello, Rebecca." She said.
For the first time in about 3 years I feel happy. I can't really describe it; it's not really contentment, per se. I don't feel fulfillment and I don't feel a need to go out and become popular or anything. It's more of a satisfaction with life itself. There's something nice about that; feeling some sort of contentment; I'll even go as far as to say "pleased" just because I'm alive. But it's just not right. It feels like I've forgotten everything I've become, and I vowed that I'd never forget it. That I'd never forget how different the world looks (really, it looks, sounds, seems in general a little different) from the eyes of a depressed person; so I'd never forget what I was. This feeling of happiness is educational. I plan to learn something from it, and, since it's such a rare thing for me, I'll enjoy it. But that doesn't by any means mean that I like it. It completely defies everything I've become; I feel anger or hatred, and thus lack motivation for things I've come to care about. But, even more so, I feel a lack of motivation for absolutely everything. I don't feel like learning anything out of the ordinary...I just want to become more open or even social. That's a very strange thing for me. But now I can see why others find it so important. I always wondered why such a high priority was placed on opening up to others; it seemed so damn insignificant to me, but everyone else cared so much...Oh, fuck. I'm depressed again. I wanted to hold on to this feeling for as long as I could, even if I really did hate it. I guess I'm going to try to do something that I'm sure I'll never do again; I'm going to try to make myself happy, just this once. I must thank those in that little Olympieda chat tonight...you people did this to me, and I don't know whether to like you or hate you for it. But I assure you Martha Stewart will remain on the forefront of my mind all night.
People think that I'm funny; they don't know that I'm not joking.
OK, OK, I haven't written in a while. Reread some of the other stuff, or something. I've got, what, 60 pages? Whenever I come up with more of my fucked-up wisdom I'll put it up. Until then, however, get your own profound thoughts. I won't do it all for you.
And I'm not typing up everything that I think about; I still have the right to my own damn privacy.
If Kate is ever found dead with a plastic fork buried deep within her scull, don't try to find me.
"Is Mark Twain still alive?" -Sasha (she said it last year, but the beauty of that line never gets old)
It's been something like a month since I've really posted anything here. Oh well. A few scary people actually have come here, but they only seem to care for my fucked-up humor. I don't think I'm going to have much of that anymore. You people are just going to have to converse with me in real life (which really shouldn't be that hard; no one does, anyway...). I've been arguing with myself lately about rather depressing topics, and that's really all you need to know. No one's getting anything like the earlier stuff on this webpage for at least a few months, so if you care enough, then you might as well actually talk to me or something. If I'm desperate enough to make this proposition, then you know that my depression has really gotten to me. But, if you're desperate enough, I've got something from Israel that I figured I might type up, if not just for myself, sooner or later (WARNING: many errors follow...also, I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP...ask any other geek from my trip...):
I vas rriding on my hourvse trough de desert. I 'ad been vriding fo a munth, at list. I vas hut and tirved, and didn't no hov mach longer it vould be until I made it ovt of de desert. Suvdeblyy, I see vat looks like beuvtabul wvoman...and I 've gettieng clovser and clovser, and I see Big Don Pedro. Ovh, not Big Don Pedro...Big Don Pedro wvas riding, and I wvas sceered for my lyfe. And I svee Big Don Pedro, and I wvas shakiing, avd he sais to mii, "get owf your houvrse". And, I deedn't wvant to get off my houvrse, I haad been on my houvrse fvor a month, I deedn't wvant to get off my hvorse, but eet's Big Don Peedro, and hve was peeeeestolating at me, hee wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeestolating at me, so I get off my hvorse. Den, Big Don Pedro, he say, "Tek off yvour shvirt". And I donn't wvant to tek off my shvirt, becoz de suvn ees hot, but hve waz peeeeeeeeestolating, at me, he wvas, peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestolating aat me, svo I took off miy shvirt. And den, Big Don Pedro, he says, "Tvake ovv yvour clothez." And I dvon't wvant to take ovv my clothez, but Big Don Pedro, he wvas peeeeeeestolating aat me, he wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestolating aat me, svo I tuvok off my clothez. And I thiink, Diis is embaaresying, bat howv couldv it get wvorse? And den, Big Don Pedro, he sayz, "Nowv seet and sheet." And I teenk I vont doo dees, but hee wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeestolating aat me, he wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestolating aaat me, so Iv seet and sheet. Aond den, Big Don Pedro, hve sayvs, "Novw eet yvour sheet." And I dovn't wvant to eet my sheet, buvt Big Do Pedro, hve vas peeeeeeeeeeeestolating aat me, he wvas PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESTOLATING aat me, svo I eat my sheet. And den, Big Don Pedro ees smiyileeng, and I tink, "wait a mienute, Iy hav a peestol, tooo!" Avnd Iy sayv, Big Don Pedro, gevt off yvour hourvse. And hve don't wvat to get ovf hee's hourvse, but Iy wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeeestolating aat him, and den I tell heem to tvake off hees shirt, aand he don wvan to tayke ovf hees shirt, but Iy wvas peeeeeeeeeestolating aat him, so hve did. And den Iy svay, Big Don Pedro, tvake ofv yourv clothez. And Big Don Pedro, hve don't wvant to tayke off hees clothez, but I wvas peeeeeeestolating aat him, aand ten I svay, "Now, Big Don Pedro, seet and sheet!", and hve don wvant to, bvut Iy wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestolating aat him, Iy wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestolating aat him, so hee seet avnd sheet. And den Iy svay, "Nowv, Big Don Pedro, EET yvour sheet!", and Big Don Pedro, hve really don wvant to eet hees sheet, bvut I wvas peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestolating at him, so hee eet hees sheet. And nvow, wven people aask wvat happen in de desert, I tvold dem Iy eet brekfaast wit Big Don Pedro.
I'm updating this piece of shit that I call my webpage. Yay. Also, read Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut. That's what I quoted at the top of the page.
Well, Finally, You Got Off Of Your Lazy Ass And Wrote Something (No Matter How Utterly Shitty; It’s Been A While):
It’s been an utterly long time since I’ve written anything, but that doesn’t matter. I’ve worked on regaining my sanity during that duration. I think I’m getting somewhere (even though my nickname has become “Psychotic Sarah”…I don’t know whether I should think it’s funny or go on a killing rampage (hey, “Erotic Emily”, it’ll all be your fault, remember that)), but we’ll see, I suppose. Well, today I have something to be cynical about, anyway. Today was “graffiti day” at school. During graffiti day, people are permitted to wear white t-shirts for the fee of a dollar. I always found this “pay a buck to wear a certain article of clothing of clothing” in itself utterly pathetic. Why the hell would people pay a dollar, money that could equally well be spent on something such as food, which, if you haven’t realized, is utterly essential to your very existence, as apposed to wearing a certain type of clothing for one day? Yet people pay money every time, if only to wear a different shirt. I can’t help but laugh at it, but at this point I’m so hopeless that that’s all I can do it at anything. Never mind that, then. I’ve got a fucking rant to write, here, although I can’t seem to do it well, especially today. I had a really screwed up day. Never mind that, either. Well, anyway, the whole “pay money to wear a certain article of clothing” thing will unreasonably successful, regardless of the catch, as there was in this case. But this time the case was, to me, at least, unheard of. People were permitted to walk up to this white t-shirt wearing person, and write things on his clothing in permanent marker. And this made me wonder; why do all of these fashion conscious students suddenly, as if on a whim, not care of their clothes are permanently stained? First of all, the concept in itself is incredibly stupid. It harkens back to the first rant of mine on this page, the yearbook rant. Why are people so utterly fascinated by signing things for each other? Do you assholes not have any other form of entertainment? So much technology and human ingenuity, and yet we are all reduced to writing on each other with markers? It makes no sense! Anyway, what fascination do you people have with writing your names? What will it DO? I’d like to state that I’m not trying to protest fun, here; I’m trying to protest utter idiocy and the assaulting of people with sharpie markers. Maybe I’m “out of it” (actually, I assure you that I am), but I just don’t see what this accomplishes. If you have some reason for this, then let me know, and I’ll consider it for approximately an eighth of a second before telling you that you are wrong. But I, as always, am currently in a state of digression (in every sense of the word), and will attempt to get to the final thing I was planning to address; the potential cross-dressing of the student government (or whatever the hell they call it at this school). If the students raise enough money, then the heads of the student government will cross dress. Whoopty shit. I really couldn’t care any less about whether the student government wears dresses or whatever the hell they’re planning to do. Seeing someone wearing clothes that aren’t specifically meant for their own gender never amused me, but they make it sound as if it was some gigantic embarrassing sacrifice on their part, like they’ll never have any credibility again, and, wouldn’t it be so damn much fun to watch? I don’t go for that. Frankly (since I doubt I’d ever be any other way) people can wear whatever the fuck they want, just leave me the hell out of it. And I’m sick of people telling me that all I seem to wear is t-shirts, because it’s all I own, and all they are is pieces of cloth, anyway. Pieces of cloth. Does anyone ever consider this? It’s INSIGNIFICANT! Ugh. Well, back on the cross-dressing thing, even if they were all closet homosexuals or something (and I wouldn’t be too surprised if they were), good for them. I don’t care. Instead of cross-dressing, why don’t you people, you know, improve the school or something? Huh? Oh well. I’m just screaming inside of my own head, as always, since there’s not much else I can do for this fucked up world, anyway.
"If you stuck a banana up Mrs. Wheeler's ass she'd enjoy it."
I got into an argument today with someone during lunch. It was a long and rather stupid argument about the stupidity of religion with a stupid person. After pissing me off by saying that G-d cares, but people just don’t know how to pray, I mentioned how stupid and hypocritical that sounds, I brought up the holocaust as an example. 11 million people died; could they all be praying the wrong way? Anyway, in essence, she said that the Jews should have fought back, and that they didn’t know how to pray. This got me very, very angry. As most of you know, I have a short temper when it comes to my religion, but this was something different entirely. The question over why the Jews didn’t fight back has been brought up over and over and over and over again, but people never understand that our whole society, our whole world, is the same. Seriously, look at the world. Not your little corner, the world in itself. People are dying every day. Wars in Africa, conflicts in Ireland, Pakistan, India, Hindus, Buddhist, Protestant, Catholic, Palestinian, Israeli, Iraqi, republican, “normal” people, outsiders, teachers, students…now, tell me, why don’t you do something about this?
No, I don't have a rant to put up. It's not that I haven't been prolific; it's just that I don't want to use Sunday, my only day of freedom, to update a website that no one reads. But, being a huge fan of both Dave Barry and stupidity, I thought it'd be in the best interest of the universe to post the following article: CLICKEY (oh, and, from what I've heard, I actually like Jimmy Eat World).
The following was written in the midst of an absolute maddening rage. It's not entirely coherent, but I think it gets it's point across well enough:
I’ve been getting so overwhelmingly sick of everything. The whole world is so damn shortsighted, anyway. Everyone’s lost their place. As if this meaningless existence was the purpose of it all. It doesn’t all exist for the petty little things that seem to dictate all of their lives. People are so fucking depressed over nothing, and dictate themselves over the group. Look at the world! It isn’t about your group! It isn’t about music or popularity or grades! There is something more to this life, and if you expect people to care about each other the way that you expect of it yourself, then you as a collective group need to realize this. Treat people the way that they want to be treated, or I’ll continue to treat you all like the shit you are. And if you expect me to be emotionless, then you are absolutely thinking of the wrong person. No one is emotionless, so stop acting so fucking surprised that things still effect me. I’m sick of your pathetic attitude that just because I’m strong enough to defy your damn pettiness that I don’t have emotion; that everything is a joke. I’m just as human as you, and just because I see life as something more doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve to be treated like a human being. Few people realize this, but I live for honor, because I’ve found very little else to live for. I live for my honesty, because I feel transcended when I do so. And I treat people with the common human decency that all of you expect. And I hate you for not giving it in return. Why can’t people evolve beyond your bloody dicks and realize this? I’m sick of your hypocritical race. It’s not a people, or a populace, or a species; you have demoted yourselves to a race. You hypocritical fucking human beings have proved yourselves nothing more then that in my eyes. I’ve been driven to insanity in the past few months; yes, insanity is the correct term, and no one has cared; yet you expect it to matter to me when you’ve been given an 80 on a test. To you I’m some sort of immune emotionless being who’s brought all of this on myself for having the absolute chutzpah to defy your lifestyle, to dishonor you by being so damn different…if I DID commit suicide then I would have brought it on myself; to you I’d just be that little annoying fuck always asking why like an incessant blind little child; that fool who can’t act normal, like everyone else, that annoying bitch who always makes an utter fool of herself during lunch…Realize this; I hate all of you! I hate your fucking concerns and your lives with an indescribable passion, and I hate how you take it that I’m a joke to you all. Treat me with respect and a common human decency, and I might do the same for all of you little fucks.
DementedLilMind: Just put the laffy taffy down, Sarah...
Somebody tell me why the hell John McCain was on Saturday Night Live...and the drummer for that band annoyed me. She was less competent than Ringo Starr, even (EDIT: the drummer for the White Stripes. I am, actually, currently listening to their CD, but I still hold my previous opinion; the drummer sucks beyond suckiness).
Since none of you people know my e-mail address, I leave you a guestbook (yes, I KNOW it's pathetic). Scroll up and sign the thing if you dare.
"Only 2 things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not
so sure about the former." -Albert Einstein
From now on, anything new will be in bright green, due to Carly's request.
I've been writing, just not here. I can't. School and my worsening severe depression continuously sap my energy. I'll be prolific during the summer, I'm sure, but don't expect much of anything during the school year. This website is on hiatus.
The Spit Socks rock your socks! Except for the fact that we suck, but we're working on it! I hope.
OK, I'm STILL on hiatus, but I wrote something, so I'm putting it up. It sounds a lot like my "religion" rant but it's not. Joy. And I even discovered something on my vacation: paragraphs (but they ruined the format of this page, not to mention compicated things for me, so I'm deleting them). OK; here you go:
Profound? Who the fuck cares; I like it!
Religion in general is a primitive idea used to keep people in check. However, later on people began analyzing these ideas that have been handed to them since the beginning of time and tearing them apart for meaning. And yet, no one ever found a thing worthwhile, because, in the end, religion is all the ideas of mere humans as well. No god would burden himself with the minds of such feeble creatures as us. But people still need religion. Even those who don't believe classify themselves as "Atheist" or even "Buddhist", which is, as far as I can see, is a religion focused on Hollywood actor’s obsession for even MORE recognition in the same vein as those who became so famous during the “peace and love” era for “holding bed-ins” and such for the ‘Nam civilians (John Lennon, I love you as dearly as I can love someone whom I’ve never met, but you were an ass). People need religion. People need conformity. People need something to belong to, and to deny this is to deny your own humanity, and even to deny your own mortality in a way which I don’t feel like explaining at the moment. But people also need to realize it. People need to see what they are doing subconsciously and to see it as what it is. Why bother asking why? Because it’s human to do so. There is no reason for all of this. This wouldn’t exist for a singular reason, and if there was one it’s be apparent to us to search for it. But humans need justification because they ARE HUMAN. People need to do something with themselves; some way to pass the time. So they assign things value, meaning. And if it makes us feel ascended to search for meaning instead of searching for clothing, than so be it! I feel ascended already. But the people like myself who do should realize why. It sucks, but we are only human, and these are our lives, and the facts. Whether this is real or not is a rant for another day, but even that would not change things for this plane of reality.
Audrey, I may be pleasantly bizarre, but at least I don't have a piece of metal perforating my lip (I'm just a fucking Winston Churchill, aren't I?)(Uhh...ask me if you don't get it).
This was actually one of the first things I wrote up when I put up this website, but only now am I brave enough to actually post it. Clickey.
"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is
my religion." -Abraham Lincoln
I felt horrible earlier today. As the day progressed, my mood improved considerably. However, I feel even less fulfilled than I did earlier. I point back to my theory above: when you are happy you lack motivation. You are content and there is no NEED to do anything with yourself. I'm not against happiness; it's just as human to want it as any other instinct. But it's just not what I'm looking for.
Oooh, look at this:
"It looks like my past is finally catching up with me." - Spike
Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.
This however never applied to you, because you haven't ever left that place in the past.
Deep down in your soul you feel the need to end something started long ago, in days when life was so much simpler.
Be it anger, sadness, or happiness...eventually you must let it go...but not now...not yet.
There are still some things that must be done. Which Cowboy Bebop Session Are You?
Haha...no surprise there. It's actually right.
WARNING TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN BEBOP: Don't take this test. It hints at the ending.
I fixed the "Kosherbles" animation. Now you can all enjoy dancing boxed lunches in their full glory. Just for emphasis, here's the same picture again:
I found THIS wonderful webpage off of Dave Barry's site. I was actually planning to comment on some of these, but I realized how utterly unnecessary that would've been. Just...enjoy.
OK, I'm in half-hiatus. This webpage won't be updated on a regular basis. Over the summer I updated about every 3 days, but I don't want to do that now, obviously. Updates will come when they come. That is all. --893
This is what I went through, and this is what I still go through. Now I can say, with complete certainty, I'm an addict (I'm still surprised to see that someone else understands this need for independence...). Lost without a cause...
"Fear is a door. Open the door and look within." People are finally beginning to speak my language (English).
I wrote this little piece 'o shit and said I was going to post it, so I will. It's short. I haven't written anything longer than a paragraph for a while. Once again, I'm on semi-hiatus. Like you care...:
Murder is only bad because nothing good can be gotten out of a dead person. But not much good can be gotten out of a live one, either. Humans are too primitive to use the excuse that it's primitive or barbaric, and that idea only came about as an excuse instead of the, "that's wrong!" one. Killing caused by spur-of-the-moment emotions, though, is a different matter. A loss of control is deadly; a sign of weakness, and not at all rational. People, myself included, (whoever's REALLY seen my temper understands...I'm thinking in the direction of that "Becky" girl, be it online or not...) are manipulated by sudden overpowering emotions. It was more sensible in primitive times, however now it's nothing more than obsolete control of one's mind. The world would be a very different place had people not been killed nor spared do to emotional extremes. Would it have been better? I'm not one to say. I'm not, technically, one to hold a false authority and say anything I have on this page, but I have because I can and because I have the motivation to do so because I'm supposed to (reread that sentence slowly; I had to). And if it happened it was supposed to happen if only because it did. I hate hearing "should have" more than any other phrase. No, it SHOULDN'T have or else it WOULD have! (if you can't take the psuedo-Japanese philosophy then get the hell away from my site) Well, I said my piece; now get back to your lives or whatnot (Blatant Dana reference for the sake of it sounding decent).
North Korea...what the FUCK is your problem? And Bush...wh-...oh, screw that. Bush has NOTHING going through his mind; there's no point in asking. The UN (the worthless organization it is) just said that there's no nukes in Iraq, and yet that jackass Bush cares more about Iraq "'Cause they tried to kill [his] dad!" than a place that confirmed it has nukes and WITHDREW FROM THE NUCLEAR ARMS PACT 25 MINUTES AGO (1:50 AM...hehe...). Dammit, it feels like I'm yelling at a firewall or whatever. Well, like Johnny The Homicidal Maniac said, "...Nothing but another reason to feel better about yourself." He also said, "It's Thursday, and you know what THAT means: UFO's!", but you get the point.
I just find this hilarious (I'd like to state that I'm in no way a pervert, but this is just wonderful):
Yo! Yo! Yo!
My name's Vegetaman and I'm here to say
Anal stimulation isn't gay!
You stick stuff up your ass
But you shouldn't use glass.
If you use glass it can surely shatter
Your ass will swell up and look a lot fatter!
Use a soft item with lots of lubrication
and make sure your parents are on a long vacation!
If they come home and see you shoven’ stuff in your crack
they'll give you some luggage and tell you to pack!
If you do it right you’ll have better sex
But just don't do it with your dog Rex!
Animal sex is cruel and they can bite your balls off!
That's worse than when an old guy tells you to turn your head and cough!
Masturbation is another good feelin’
it gives you more satisfaction than drug deelin!
When you feel stuff comin’ out of little old will
don’t pinch it too hard cause you will injaculate and that can kill!
I bet you think that I'm a sick little perve
but that’s just because your wee wee ends at a curve!
Don't hate me cuz I know all these techniques
Just try them yourself until your ass leaks!
I know you'll all be thanking me in the end
and then you can get together and jack off a friend!
Use this advice wisely and don't get in trouble
Just do this until your smooth baby cheeks gain stubble!
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Thank you!!!! I'm here till Thursday night! -- Vegetaman
Another quote: "Jazz agers, flower children, lost generation, beatniks, rockers, punks, nerds, hackers, lovers, generation X - whatever the designation, there have always been outlaws in our society who live in pursuit of autonomy. At times they are revered for their roles as pioneers, challenging the unknown; other times people consider them lawless desperadoes and a dangerous presence. Yet, really, it is only their exuberant music and autonomy founded to express opinions different from those of others that set them apart from the rest of society." -Cowboy Bebop
I just noticed that in my Eruv rant it's said "Hail Hitler!" instead of "Heil Hitler!" for several months. Someone needs to tell me these things.
Look up at the top: '"Rants Of The Sane"-We gave George W. Bush that pretzel.' I'm a dork and I'm not sorry.
I found another little piece of shit I wrote (in response to an e-mail, actually) on my computer. I’m posting an excerpt of it just because. Read it if you care.
Well, I'm going to quickly address something that apparently both of us have been thinking about. Yes, we're born; we die, and of course it seems useless. But I think the fact that we DO die proves some meaning. What's the point of being immortal? Nothing could be accomplished, since there would still be more time left for things to be done. Nothing at all would happen. I think that since we ARE mortal it's more proving of a purpose than anything else. It's conceivable that we'd just float suspended in time-space unless time was supposed to pass, and people were supposed to die. Think of time in itself; in goes forward with an infinite flow (yes, I’ve been reading Akira). Isn't it conceivable that time itself would behave differently if not designated to do what it does? But, getting back to my previous point, no one could live without death hanging over their heads. People realize that they WILL die, and therefore things get done. That's my theory, anyway...and getting to another question, you can't know why we exist: there is no singular reason for it. I mean, why do people write or draw pictures, or create anything at all? It just happens; there's no reason, per se. I think that's the reasons for the existence of it all: just because. But to think it's about humanity is rather self-centered. We’re SUCH a small portion of the universe; I doubt we're really a huge part of existence, in whatever sense it really does exist. As for humanity in itself, I hate it with a passion. I care little for most everyone unless they've proven themselves worthy of my attention. Most people I've interacted with are a disgrace to their species, and I am ashamed to be one. I doubt I need to go into further detail; you seem to understand what I mean. I feel pity for no one; they get what they were supposed to, otherwise it wouldn't have happened.
I think I'm going to clean up the rants a little; fix up the grammar and whatnot (blatant Dana reference). I already spell checked this whole page. I might even put up a layout if it's deemed necessary. Just not now; not yet. There are still some things that must be done.
"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity and incumbency." -"president" George W. Bush, June 14, 2001, speaking to Sweedish Prime Minister Goran Perrson, unaware that a live television camera was still rolling (nifty, fellow anarchist Kappa. Too bad you're Canadian...).
This sucks. I’m half asleep. I feel a little drunk-ish. Blerg.
I saw a picture on an oekaki board (a semi-message board where you draw things instead of write) with a caption that said the following: “For the seven crew members of the space shuttle Columbia: we'll miss you.” Bullshit. How is their loss any loss for you? You never appreciated them before, when they were just astronauts; stupid scientists doing an idiotic routine mission. Space missions don’t even get any airtime or news coverage anymore. No one thinks anything of it when missions go as they’re supposed to. And then when that one out of a thousand mission comes along and people die everyone pretends as if it mattered to them all along. As if these people who they ridiculed for being juvenile and stupid, people who were made fun of by living under the guise of being scientists when in fact were only living their childish dreams and practicing the art of being multicultural to you…and now you care because they failed. Now they are our national heroes because something went wrong. Why do we care now? It’s out of the ordinary. It’s different. And, quite honestly, it’s exciting. Something unusual is extremely exciting, whether this thing that occurs is a negative or positive one. Well, I refuse to commend these astronauts. They were regular people, as flawed as everyone else. That and they were too incompetent to correctly land their craft. I think the people that deserve commendation are the people who can carry out their respected missions successfully; the regular people who never receive recognition because they didn’t fuck up. And I think that the people who receive commendation should be the people who carry out missions of importance. Don’t misunderstand me: I love the space program more than most people. I’m fascinated by space travel and the thought that it IS possible to escape from this waste of a planet, not to mention just how small a part of the universe we really are. But these people aren’t heroes any more than MAJOR DIGRESSION ALERT: soldiers who mindlessly fight because they were told to (or because their president is an imbecile). I don’t find devotion to a country to be heroism. Countries are silly in the sense that the people are supposed to support them even though it would be equally effective to just hit each other over the head with sticks. No ordinary (as in “less than wealthy”) person gets any authority, meanwhile the rich and powerful make idiotic decisions which impact and at times even risk our lives on a daily basis. We practically have it the best out of the entire rest of the world, but we still have no choice on anything major. The elected officials who nobody bothers to vote for anymore decide what we “care” about, and what is “best” for the people, even though we don’t even get a vote on what truly IS best for us. The Untied States isn’t a true democracy. And, if you haven’t realized, the elected officials are so enveloped in special interest groups and their next paycheck that these things occupy their attention much more than what would be beneficial for the country. Meanwhile, world leader after world leader is screwing their country because no person is selfless enough to be fit to lead. None. No one CAN be concerned solely on the country because of themselves and their human needs and wants. I’m an anarchist, obviously, because there is no way to HAVE countries, leaderships, etc. and make it work out well. No one is selfless enough yet skilled enough to correctly lead a country. I don’t even know what I was ranting about to begin with, but oh well. This is what you get.
According to an online test I’m 51% emo. I think I’m going to cry…
"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees."
You know, I think that I'm the only pro-Israeli out of all of the anarchist-delinquent types. I'm not going to type a rant on it (yet), but this misunderstanding of the whole situation in the Middle East is annoying.
The prerequisites to having a punk band seem somewhat lacking to me. Don’t misunderstand me: the sloppiness of that whole genre of music is certainly appealing to myself as well as many others, but there are limits. I’ll give a shout out to my homies “Obscurity” (no, you're not getting a link for one reason: I hate you). I’m not sure if I’m part of that band or not, but even if I am, they (or we) are the perfect punk band, for various reasons. #1-I haven’t heard Lauren, but excluding her I can say with 100% certainty that there in no talent whatsoever in the band, and I include myself in that statement (the harmonica player I am) and, #2, no one has any idea what they truly are doing. If anything is written it will be stupid (well, I’M not giving them anything more if they want any of my writing), but it will be loud, and that’s all that’s really necessary. The soul of punk music is the fact that it’s loud, fast, simple, and annoys the hell out of our parents. That’s the core of it for absolutely everyone. Of course there are other aspects, such as the political nature and some experimentation and the fact that it, on occasion, it actually sounds decent, but that’s not especially important when compared to the mindless noise and screaming that’s so wonderful to disillusioned teenagers such as myself. But teenagers take music too seriously. All of the social reject type seem to believe that music is life because none of us have the comfort of clothing or constant talking or, like, friends, for the most part. And music really seems to be so much more than all of these other things. It’s one of the most powerful emotional forces known to man. There are some songs that captivate me and some that can change my mood in only an instant. But the majority of modern punk music is taken much further than that by the bands that perform it. I listen to little music released since Kurt Cobain’s death because the majority of it sucks very badly, so my knowledge of “modern” music is very limited, but I know of punk band after punk band that has taken the scene’s traditionally political scene to the extreme. That isn’t what annoys me, however there are several things related to this that do piss me off. Firstly, these bands complaining about the incompetence of the government don’t often know what they are talking about. There is a general mound of anger and teenage angst, but few who actually write the music know quite what to hurl it at. Quite honestly, the government strikes me as a scapegoat of unidirectional teenage feelings of alienation and awkwardness. The government is without a doubt corrupt, but America is currently the wealthiest (something I hate, but it’s what determines everything in this fucked up world) and healthiest country on earth. The majority of North Korea (yeah, I like communism, to an extent because of its focus on the people instead of their monetary value, but it doesn’t work as well as the capitalist system I hate so much) is starving and their army is the only government-funded thing in abundance. And what food North Korea does have is given to them by (surprise!) the US. And while the United States is giving the majority of African, Middle Eastern, and Arab the majority of their food and protection, this country only receives more and more anti-American sentiment from the countries it protects, not to mention its own citizens. I haven’t at all changed my more or less anti-American stance, because I feel that America best represents society in general, something I hate to no end, not to mention the endless corruption and the wreck of an administration we are currently in. But I am giving the alternate angle as best as I can because the majority of punks are educated only by their music. The likelihood that ANYONE who listens to this music would care whatsoever about politics if it weren’t for what they were hearing is minimal indeed. And the likelihood that all of you would hold stances so far left if it weren’t for this music is much tinier. But the truth is that music is powerful. That is something that has intrigued me for years. But I guess that a certain form of any sense acts in a similar manner. Bacon is the perfect example for me, anyway. Well, actually, at this point that’s more of a stupid joke, but I digress. Sausage is better. And yet, very little short of electroshock therapy strikes me as emotionally moving as music. I was watching a World War II documentary last night and a man died to some perky, major-key big band song. It certainly ruined the mood, to say the least. I wanted to make three more points, however I will do it quickly because dinner is calling. When punks outgrow punk music (and it WILL happen) they will outgrow their political stances (I’m the exception because I formed my political stances on my own. Aren’t I special?), punks being as selective and purist as I’ve seen is just as hypocritical as it gets, being that the punks are supposed to be rejects of society, and, in summary of the last page or so, the majority of you have been brainwashed. However, instead of by the right-winged government it has been by the left-winged bands. You fickle fools.
Random Bit O’ Shit From Philosophy Class:
People spend so much time thinking of value. How much does this cost; how much is that worth? And then the issue of the value of life is brought forth by Mr. Moresette. Life should not be measured in the same currency as human greed.
HolyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT!!!!! I WILL be in New York on April 4th, and this is why. Too bad it's rated R, though.
Crystal: Do you think anyone in our class is hot? Me: No. I really don't care, anyway. Crystal: Are you a lesbian?
After telling Victoria about the above:
Victoria: That was mean. You're neither. Me: WHAT!? Victoria: You're not gay but you don't care about boys. Me: So what does that make me? Slightly bent? Victoria: I don't know. But you are. Me:...sure.
OK, for the record, I'm straight (albeit entirely indifferent). I'm in no way a homophobe, but I may sound like it because I hate Richard Drischol and his entire preppy race.
No, I WASN'T high when I
wrote the following; I'm probably the only one on this webpage who never has been. (if you get it I'll give you a cookie):
Infinite and round in its equidistant dimensions, influence-less and empty, a byproduct of time space’s nonentity, not for you, not for me, only for itself. For its own culmination. Needing no meaning, the circle is only round because you cannot see its edges, only an illusion. When does its illusion end and it become true, for is the earth flat if you believe it to be so? Truth is only found within the certainty, only states of mind exist otherwise, writing themselves in and out of meaning and being…truth is a lie of point of view. Truth can never be seen in its true fallacy. Pour into the emptiness all you wish, but is the effort consequential? Those who live by the truth that I can never see, by my blind reasoning and feeling and lying filthy being’s truth because it is felt and I see it not even being there. What is right is so, and it is true in subjective reality. I am right in my reality for there is only my reality. I’ll die for its nothing. The life of enlightenment is enjoyable, even if only for its false pretences. There is no meaning and I live for none of it. ±
"Joe Kollel: he doesn't learn, but the Bais Yaakov girls don't know that."
Something rather odd has been happening lately, at least for myself: I’ve been talking. It’s not entirely MY fault: people have been talking to me first. I spontaneously say a stupid joke in homeroom and suddenly the whole world wants to be my friend. So my question is, where the hell were all of these people before, when I actually NEEDED them? I’m finding myself slowly evolving back into the stubborn and completely self-sufficient person I was before. And although there actually are three or so people I enjoy talking to (the only reason I’ve been getting SO eccentric during lunch is because two of them, if not all three, are usually there. And anyway, once I move I’ll be inhibited again, so I guess I’m having fun while I can…I’m never so crazy anymore as I am during lunch) I don’t want the rest thinking I’m their friends all of a sudden. I’ve got the whole 10th grade world trying to make conversation with me, and not only is it absolutely overwhelming but it’s also stupid. Chris Ford has called me “Sarah The Harah Lairy Ass One” about 893 consecutive times and it wasn’t even remotely funny the first. I just want to know…what the hell happened?
…But at least Shoosh Boy is nifty.
Art class today was quite interesting. That class is usually marked by an horrific mixture of live Phish performances, all of which are UNBELIEVABLY repetitive, and all of which culminate in an approximately 17 minute guitar solo featuring the three highest notes on the fret board played randomly at incredible speeds. Even though this in itself is enough to induce ear bleed, something even more unbearable had been played for the past week or so: rap. Something had to be done. Lindsey advised me to bring my Nirvana (“In Utero”…their others are nothing in comparison) CD today, and so I did. We seized the stereo in a brave coop attempt, and I inserted the beloved disc before anyone dared try playing anything else. After being asked who the band was about 893 consecutive times, I could hear whispers of “Nirvana?” permeate the stagnant, clay-filled air. By the time the second song came on (which, with utmost respect towards Cobain, ABSOLUTELY SUCKS ASS. The majority of the CD is excellent, but the 2nd song IS painful), “What the HELL IS this?!” was being said more than anything else. I was enjoying it thoroughly, but everyone else in the room seemed utterly distressed. Quite honestly, I have no idea why. Nirvana is rather tame compared to the majority of music that even I listen to. And then, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAST SONG, no less, the middle school art teacher shuts off the stereo. “Why did you do that?” I asked her. “Because listening to Nirvana makes me want to kill myself like he did.” …I am so proud. But I still have no comprehension of why my classmates, and Mrs. Sleeper especially, consider Nirvana to be…I don’t know…EVIL? “Does your mother let you listen to this?” The music is louder. Is that really a ground for restriction? Of course I can listen to them at home. It’s not satanic. Granted, my mom has never heard them, but she can’t restrict it from me: she has no grounds for doing so. Nirvana doesn’t even curse except maybe twice. It’s so damn silly, but I’m glad I shook up their little insulated world of pleasantries, even if only for a minute.
I feel exhausted. Exhausted and miserable. I didn’t take my happy pills last night. Fuck my happy pills. I’m sick of the control they have over me. It’s dishonorable. And then Iraq. Oh, Iraq. How you challenge my political viewpoints so. I hate the way the world works. I don’t believe in “peace, love, and unity”. Everyone wants it but no one understands it. Without conflict there is nothing. Conflict is what gives life a plat, so to speak. It is what makes it all worthwhile. I’ll get to unity later unless I forget. And yet I don’t believe in total anarchy. I did. Oh, did I ever. It seemed so simple; so fucking foolproof. Get rid of the problematic government, and get rid of the problem. And then I saw the Iraqis on TV. I saw their faces radiate with joy as they stormed any and every store, shop, and municipal facility with wheel barrels filled to the brim with shit that no one could ever use. That is anarchy, and that is pathetic. I won’t say “animalistic”. We are animals, and anyone who has failed to acknowledge the fact has no right to be speaking in the first place. Humans are too damn egotistical like that. We think we are something special. As if it’s any great feat to be able to sufficiently fuck up the planet as we have. But, as always, I digress. Anarchy, TRUE anarchy, not the idealistic paradise I thought would just allow itself to form, is a lie. It’s another fucked up utopia, and if it DID work it would be in use because it’s just so simple. However, since the beginning of human history people have wanted order. People want control, power, and a leadership. People either want to rule or be ruled, and nothing can go against this nature. There aren’t many outcasts: it isn’t evolutionarily favored. In a group it’s less likely for a lion to kill off your entire genetic code. Even outcasts usually ban together. It’s the way humanity works. Why else could loneliness possibly be so crippling? No rule means no order, and no order means complete and total disarray. And no matter how "cool" that seems, that means no stability, no certainties. One day there may be no food, the next someone may have stolen your home. And after that, who knows? Your possessions may be taken. Your parents may be killed. It would all go unpunished, except maybe by yourself, in your eminent rage and need of retribution. Capitalism will reform due to human greed and the need for food and services, and the whole thing will reform. Anyway, one of the main reasons I put up this page was to explain what I believed to be wrong with everything. The system, which was the only one which could possibly work while embracing these ideas of unity, ownership, order, and human nature, mutated into a vehicle for those who wanted to succeed and those who overly embraced the ideals of “mine” and “yours”, power and lack thereof. I want to start over. I want everything to be reformed entirely. I want all “common knowledge” to be rethought and money to be thought of as the paper that it is and school to be taught EFFECTIVELY to those who WANT to learn. I want food to be free and free speech to be free and greed to cease. I want the people to legislate themselves. But it will never happen. The people need a leader, and the system can’t be restructured entirely. The system is worldwide now, and it works. I still want to liberate Rhode Island, though. It’s a country in itself, already. Maybe I could use it to begin to change the world…
Don’t be so fucking PETTY! That’s all I’ve been saying!
‘You: "The moon looks beautiful tonight." Me: "Which moon?"’
Jethro Tull is GREAT. Acknowledge the flute!
I can't write funny anymore. Read some fucking Dave Barry or something. I provided you with a link and everything.
Yeah, I haven’t been putting up much of my own lately. I’ve been writing a lot, but most of it is much too personal to put on this page, and a lot of it is repetitive if only to reassure myself when it seems the whole world is against me, especially on my opinions of the “value” of life. So, anyway…here’s some nifty quotes. I’m putting them up because they’re nifty:
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey
Only in Rhode Island:
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington (Barrington 5\_/><0r5. Providence and Pawtucket r0><0r5 j00r 50><0r5. 1337 is f\_/|\|z0r5, and really d\_//\/\bz0r5. But, hell, I’m really tired.), Rhode Island
"Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields
Your tax dollars at work:
"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."
-Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
And, after attending Norfolk Collegiate for nearly two years, my favorite:
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
-Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
Thrice is really nifty.
Don't I look like that in my trench coat? No, you say? Don't lie to me!
I never knew such misery could be brought on by complements. I’ve never liked them, myself: they have either seemed too dishonest and too much like a dishonorable groveling. And, at worst, they sound like a deeply hidden greed. Complementing someone on their own personal skill is much more respectable in my opinion than complementing a frustrated and bored hard ass on her shoes, however I don’t often seem to even get that much. I arrived at school several days ago in a new pair of Chuck Taylor’s. The main reason for this was because my feet had increased beyond the capacity of my other pair, however I entertained several thoughts when purchasing the shoes, the primary ones being that I like them and they are cheap. However, I decided to conduct a little experiment. For some reason unbeknownst to me, this particular type of shoe is obviously a “punk shoe”, and I was curious to see the reaction and judgment I’d receive by coming to school wearing a pair, since I am most likely thought of as…I don’t know, “un-punk”? I hate social grouping of any kind, especially punk (which, I would like to inform you all, died in 1977, as far as anyone besides yourselves is concerned), however I do not feel like going off on a tangent at the moment. All that it is necessary to know is that a…uh…non-punk is wearing punk shoes, OK? Good. Anyways, EVERY SINGLE PUNK KID, without exception, assumed that I was trying to be something that I deeply hate. I DO like the music quite a bit, however that is obviously not what punk is about. Social grouping of any sort is extremely superficial, judging by this experiment and many choice and lunch times of observation, caused by, of course, extreme boredom. I concluded that these people suck and I hate them. This was before it became so overwhelmingly dumb and frustrating that it was hilarious. I very much dislike generalizations, etc., etc., however these people can only be referred to as “preppies”, since it is my firm belief that they are all mentally the same person, anyway. So, in every single class, I got at least one, “I like your shoes!” Along with being part of the aforementioned greed compliment, the annoyance factor came into play. The annoyance factor is measured on a scale of one through ten, with one being solitude and ten being my sister. Each time “I like your shoes!” was shouted by another preppy, I came closer to absolutely snapping. My shoes are nothing more than SHOES! You place them on your feet to prevent injury! You might as well go around complementing seatbelts. Or the band. And Yoko Kanno, too. I’m not on crack! Anyway, clothing is nothing more than clothing, and to find it necessary to pay more and more attention to is completely moronic and absolutely greedy. Next time you see someone doing something unselfish, a nun, for instance, compliment her, and not on her outfit, although admittedly I want one of those. Compliment someone doing something worthy of it. Maybe this whole rant was brought about by my utter embarrassment of being spoken to directly, however I hope you all learned something worthwhile: lack of sleep fucks with my writing.
My scathing wit burns holes into the hearts and minds of all it touches. People have had premature cancer due to the radioactivity of the intense electric signals erupting throughout my brain. Explosions have been reported due to my unfathomable speed and strength, and my flawless personality will render common lowlifes dumbfounded. I am the epitome of all that is good and sacred. There are shrines to me within every house and home, including trailer parks. People beg and plead to be worthy to lick the soles of my feet, and yet I laugh at their conceited and arrogant beliefs. I am greater than indoor plumbing; superior to Jesus; BIGGER THAN A FUCKING BREADBOX...For I am the sole embodiment of perfection.
…I think I took double the dose of antidepressants. Oh well. You’ll have to bare with my unreasonable ego for today.
Some more writing shit shalt be comin’ round the mountain when it comes. And when it does I’ll party like it’s 1999. Whatever the fuck that means. I didn’t really party in 1999…except over Passover, because my dad would make me drink the whole four cups of wine, otherwise I’d get so edgy that I’d stab everyone to death with a piece of shmurah matzah. That shit’s like a knife…like the one I made this year in school over Passover and seriously considered jabbing into the hearts of most everyone there, because I hate all of you, pretty much without exception. If I’m acting nice or in any way genial, I hate you. If you mention the thing I wrote about PETA ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I will force you to clean the mystery area of my basement, and give me any bones you excavate (and that basketball…). That is all.
An Ode To Norfolk (Crackhead Poetry 101):
I came in this town
When I was somewhat young
…And there’s no nifty word that rhymes
Except maybe “dung”
So, goodbye, dear Norfolk
May it still rain nightly
May the Elizabeth River
Always glow brightly
Let Church Street always
Be so much fun mocking
May NCS students
All always be smoking
May the big naval ships
Come back into port
Having killed more Arabs
Than they could in court
Let the Beach Ford commercial
Air without any changes
May PETA all always
Sit naked in cages
May your tunnels still clog
And your traffic still suck
May construction on
264 never stop
Let people always be
So selfish and dumb
Will be so much fun
So long, dear Norfolk
I bid thee farewell
Thanks for teaching me
That…uhh…, that you suck.
It has come to my attention that people will consider anything offensive. It is usually less general than that, obviously, but there are some exceptions which I’ve noticed, in both myself and others. There are certain buzzwords that gain people’s attention; that put them on guard. The example which I would like to cite (as I stated I intended to earlier) is the use of the word “retarded”. Of course I am using Victoria as an example, and if she ever finds her way out of the age ten parental controls on her AOL account, I want her to know the following: I never loved you, now leave me the fuck alone. And now, to prove my point, I will proceed to offend her with her buzzword, which is “retarded”. She has good reason to be angered by this word, and even I am not cruel enough to describe someone else’s business to the internet (except Martha Stewart’s, of course), but if the word is even muttered in her general vicinity she will spring on you “like the plague”. There are few things that piss me off more than when certain people are considered “special” for inherit things, such as age, or retarded-ness, which is what I would like to whine about at the moment. To quote (who else?) the Beatles, “Some kind of innocence is measured out in years.” The reason for such a thing is obvious. Children are “cute” because they have to be, so their parents will take care of them, as opposed to placing them in dumpsters. However, this supposed cuteness has been used as an excuse for anything and everything. Children are “innocent”, however, having been a child myself, I remember cruelty, abuse, and shit from one preschooler to another. Just because I did not know the actual word “shit” did not mean that I was not acting in its essence (uhh…in more ways than one, actually). We were only called innocent because we were ignorant and “cute”, and I still do not see why children are not perceived as anything more than tiny, incompetent adults. Now, on to the subject of “special” people, who are technically just as special as everyone else, anyway: let me call them retarded, because that is what they are. I am not being derogatory, I am being honest. And, also, THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS IS NOT SPECIAL. IT IS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO INCOMPETENT TO COMPETE IN THE REAL OLYMPICS. I truly have nothing against retarded people (as I’ve said, my sister is one), however I am damned sick of them being exalted to some kind of godly status. Of course they are much more inhibited than most anyone else who is simply dumb, however that is no reason to consider them superior and to constantly shelter them from the hell know as “life” the way people do. A message to my mother: My sister would be better disciplined if you treated her more sternly. Show these people the real world instead of hiding it from them. Even they cannot escape it forever.
Copy and paste: gitarguy86: holy shit gitarguy86: sara's rant and raves is hilarious dainty carnage: no shit gitarguy86: especially the one about the eruvs dainty carnage: yeah dainty carnage: i know' gitarguy86: she has a big vocabulary
Jack: spell my name right, at least.
“Further proof that the end is nigh: Uh-oh” (the above was brutally raped from Dave Barry’s blog)
I updated my anarchy rant, but so what? I was linked off of Dave Barry's blog for this piece of shit webpage I knocked off in a few seconds so I could...get linked by Dave Barry's blog! Was I an attention whore or just bored? Probably the latter: clicky. Karma Police is stuck in my head.
I’ll be in Vegas by the end of the week. I don’t care where it is anymore, I want to leave. I never belonged here. Hell, I don’t belong there, either, but it’ll be a city, like my home was 8 years ago. This kind of self-pity reminiscent shit is nothing more than boring, and just like emo music you start to wonder, “when the hell’s that person going to stop WHINING?”, but this will only take a minute; to read, at any rate. I like to write about myself, eh!? Shut up. Anyway, I was a happy little kid, oddly enough, and however you define happy, be it with disdain, aspiration, or satisfaction, that was me. And then Harvard Community Health Plan went broke. They had excellent doctors and possibly the largest practice in New England, however the executives couldn’t manage their money. So my father decided to work in Suffolk, wherein a good family friend moved to the year prior due to the practice’s waning agenda and management. He told us how good it was here, and so we came, my parents with two unwilling children in tow. We moved into a small apartment in Portsmouth while my dad constantly swore we would do better than we were. Finally we managed a house in Churchland and my sister and I were sent to Jewish school. Now the whining begins: in preschool and kindergarten it’s rather easy for kids. No one knows each other, and we’re all open minded and ignorant youngsters. When I got to Hebrew Academy I was enrolled in a class of 15 or so kids who had all known each other since they were two. And I realized something else which truly did seem exclusive to the south: the girls were expressly forbidden to interact with guys on any level (except for Elyssa, of course). This obviously a social prohibition as opposed to a strongly enforced school rule, but one could hardly tell by the way everyone treated each other. So I, who primarily had guy friends, was a bit left out, but that was to be expected. I waited diligently for acceptance, I really did, but such things don’t come easily to a group of highly exclusive, brat-ish assholes, and nothing comes for those who simply wait, as I had yet to learn. Well, the new kid was always fresh meat for a pair of EVIL LEECH TWINS, but they’re not worth my consideration at the moment, except to say that they’re afraid and alienated, and getting what they deserve, and I laugh at their little anorexic cloned faces for running away. What does this all have to do with anything? For once, I feel like that little kid again, before I left. I’ve made countless mistakes and consequently turned into a terrified goofy and awkward idiot to gain ATTENTION in the dumbest and most self-decrepitating ways (which I don’t want to get further into and you don’t want to read about). But now I’m leaving, and I have the opportunity to try again, knowing what I didn’t before. We’ll see if it goes any better: I’ve turned into a hateful drunken hardass who still manages to act really stupid for the sake of ATTENTION, however the future is still unwritten (as the Clash say), and even I have no reason yet to be pessimistic. And that place is funny as hell. It’s like me, in a sense: “There was something desperate about it she kinda dug. Everyone and everything in it was starved for attention. Hey, you want magic? This guy'll pull a white tiger out of his ass. That don't do it for you? We have a full sized pirate ship, complete with pirates. So authentic, you'll get scurvy just from lookin' at it! We got the flying trapeze and people being shot out of canons! We'll even shoot you out of a canon if that's your bag! Look at me! Pay attention to me!” It’s not like me to quote so damn much, but I love that. Fuck, it’s not like me to live in a place where money means even more than it does elsewhere, but it’s absolutely hilarious. Ever been there? It’s like (excuse me for saying this) Disney Land, except Disney Land fucking sucks. I’ll write more about it when I get there. >:o
The US's new terrorist action in Iraq is called "Operation Ivy Lightning." Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too.
I'll write about Vegas later. Too drained. And overwhelmed. Oh, fuck, am I overwhelmed.
I haven’t written for a while, but so what? This is my page, and if I need a break to settle down in a practically foreign world, you’ll have to live with it. If you want to know what Las Vegas is like, you’ll have to experience it for yourself. This place is much too incredible…mere words are insulting to it. That doesn’t mean I like it, inasmuch as the only large cities I like are in New York and Rhode Island due to childhood memories. This city is the epitome of the term “laugh or else you’ll cry,” so I laugh and laugh and laugh. I find high school life more interesting because it isn’t staged to grab your attention until you pay it. My school is free. This isn’t necessarily a good thing. I took note of the social groups. The school is neatly divided into the following factions: the preps, the geeks, the nerds, the freaks, the goths, the punks, myself, and the kids who liked the latest AFI album. I should clarify that my school is a “magnet” school, meaning that one must whine to the administration prior to being allowed entrance. Consequently, there is a large population of both geeks and nerds. Geeks are computer dorks (myself included), and nerds are pencil protector-wearing, honors calculus-taking, heads-pushed-in-toilet-bowls dorks. The school’s ethnicity is comprised of Mexicans, goths, a few black kids (who, not to be racist, all seem kinda stupid), the entire Asian population of Western America, the entire lesbian population of the free world (including Ellen DeGeneres) and myself along with a kid with a yarmulke. Fun. I’m found in the situation I was when I first came to NCS: wading through the shit in desperate attempt to find someone, something, anything that isn’t so despicable it makes me ill. Teens, for the most part, are despicable. The preppies are clothes-obsessed anti-intellectuals thinking primarily of clothes and whom to sleep with next. A girl in my literature class has already latched on to me because I understood the vast majority of the words on an analogies worksheet. The word “pauper” was compared to “beg.” “Is that a typo for ‘paper’?” She asked me. The guy sitting in front of us joined our little group. “She’s bi.” He says. Crucial information to these people, apparently. They’re surprisingly open about these things here, though. I’m sit at the official freak’s lunch table (which is nice an isolated. Haha…the one kid sprays food in that direction and we get no trouble) at which there’s one other girl. By the second day of school I already knew that she had a masochistic girlfriend who purposefully shot herself in the foot (“first she cut herself, then she burned herself, and the she started shooting herself,” she said as if describing the weather), and then raped her in her sleep. I don’t want to know how that would work, but Emily already suggested an answer. Fuck you, Emily! Oh, and by the way, Richard was no surprise. I just can’t believe that I wasn’t there to hear about it myself. Well, anyway, (Victoria, I’m not “focused” today. I’ve been keeping my serious stuff to myself, explaining my lack of updates in a bit more detail) the goths are the extreme opposites of the preppies in terms of clothing, but in little else. They are just as concerned with their clothing as any of the others, and were just not “happy” enough to consider themselves preppie. However, their actions mirror each other exactly. I would also like to note that the goth girl who sits next to me is the most dishonorable little bitch in the world. I hate people who take advantage of one another more than most anything, and this was obviously done here. Anyway, that was one of the worst pieces of shit I’ve written, but…imagine yourself on one of your worst days trying to write something due to pure necessity. Anyway, some of the kids who don’t try so damn hard to classify themselves as one extreme or another might indeed be worth interacting with, and I might do so if I find anything intelligent going on. Until then, I’ll read Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance and ponder the world.
Mel Gibson is putting out a movie claiming Jews to be mob-ish, bloodthirsty Christ killers. Despicable. Absolutely despicable. That fucking racist doesn’t deserve the media attention, admiring fans, or even the multimillions of dollars he has. This is fucking awful.
Like anyone's reading this...maybe Jack. Har. Anyway, I'll get to writing SOMETHING when I think of something to write about. I'm not content with random bitching anymore due to my little masochistic enlightenment of the past year, so you'll have to make due. My seeming rationality hasn't been of any help, inasmuch as I was trying so desperately to think of some sort of sensible socialism, since anyone would agree that Marx had the basic right idea (he was a sexist, racist jackass, though). The problem is that of order and stability. I've said this, haven't I? Oh well, so that's the most concrete thing on my mind as of late: I've also been getting into the realm of the insanely hypothetical. So now you know why I haven't been writing: what I'm thinking of is redundant, un-concrete, and not at all funny unless you like making fun of philosophy, in which case leave my website right this instant. If you discount all thought and ideas as bullshit then you're as detestable as anyone else who considers their brains nothing more than relating to their dicks. So, in relation to both myself and the previous sentence simultaneously (although not directly): The worst image of my grandmother just came to mind. Clicky. Hahaha...and Soma! Uh...ask me if you care. It's a long, hillarious story. Although if you're too lazy to track me down, Mrs. Sleeper knows the abridged, albeit not at all profane, version.
Do you know what I hate? Everything, of course. However, this does not create an exception for something I am currently in the midst of: school projects. What a load of shit. I’ve gone on and on about the fucked educational system which finds the needs to dictate our lives endlessly, however that isn’t even the issue at hand. Projects are a little manifestation of idiocy thrusted upon us every few months when teachers decide it necessary that we learn through “creativity.” Well, if you haven’t realized, being dictated daily really isn’t a creative thing. History, for instance, isn’t about creativity: it’s about what happened before you were born and subsequently before ANY of us really care. But does that matter? We learn it anyway; diligently in my case. And why? To know history. I’m not denying the fact that a large amount of history is important for us to know, but get the fuck over the Greeks! I HATE the Greeks and their various childish gods and half-gods and god spawns and Pokégods and whatever else those people had up their asses. How the hell will this help me any? I understand learning, like, science, which pretty much dictates the world around you as well as how you came to be. Such things are worth knowing if you value ANYTHING in life, since the basis of all of that can be explained through science. But SRA doesn’t give a shit about the Greeks or the Romans (G’s and the R’s, NCS students). And do you know what else I’m sick of? In both history and English class, we’ve been learning about colonial America. And, in an attempt to be politically correct, there’s a big movement out to make white people feel guilty, thus prompting either equality or reparations…but judging by the reactions of the black community, I’d assume that it’s the latter they want. OK, educators; put your ears right up to the monitor: I DID NOT ENSLAVE BLACK PEOPLE. MY ANCESTORS WERE BEING CHASED BY THE COSSACKS AT THE TIME. And I’m damn sick of this PROJECT! I’m currently trying to write a one page essay of unclear length about the Battle of Yorktown. I’m very bad at school essays: unbelievably bad. If I don’t have any freedom it appears in my writing. Another thing which makes school writing difficult for me is length. I am a very straightforward person and therefore struggle with a one-page essay, because I can summarize the whole damn thing in a quarter of that. I have no idea why teachers find it necessary to make certain lengths for papers, since if you want to know about the Battle of Yorktown without ghey embellishments, you could just write, “The Americans and French surrounded the English, who were then pushed into the York River and lost the Revolutionary War.” Whoopty shit, that was tough. I’m not at all bitter, even though I need another paragraph on the damn thing. Not at all bitter, because I know that there is a sensible educational purpose in making kids do projects, namely having something for teachers to hang up on their walls. You want interactive learning? Then try teaching more interactive subjects at a more convenient time, like when some of us are awake. More proof that the school system should go and fuck itself. You know it wants to.
I’m working on creating a layout for this page. “Working on” because it requires me to create a separate page for each rant. If anyone is willing to help me with this, let me know. I’ll teach you code and whatnot. But only HTML: no C++, or 1337, or anything.
So I get to school as I do every day, trying to make sense of things in general. I just push my way through the crowd, praying that I’m not crushed in the process. I feel so small there. No matter how much intellectual superiority rules, you try keeping your head around something so intimidating. See SRA run. I’ve been telling myself in the last few weeks that it’s not who you are but what you do that really “matters,” if such a term can ever be used. Ever. What the hell “matters?” Nothing is not fallible. If you want a reason, close your eyes, and truly observe the world...and go beyond my influence. Humans are blinded by their vision, their perception. And it’s truly a shame that everyone is so oblivious to that. To most, the universe is only the small portion occupied in their sight. Does it “matter” that such things go unknown? Of course not. But nothing truly matters, as I just said. It does not matter that if there WERE a reason, it would not please you. It does not matter that I have devoted myself to causing people to realize such things. It does not matter that I am trying desperately to infuse meaning into my life, partially to satisfy a human need, and partially to make my time here worthwhile, as few do. Nor does it matter that I, as I rushed down the hallway towards the morning class, realized that it wasn’t yet seven AM. The sun hadn’t yet risen, although it isn’t really important in a school without windows. Another day of napping through my life. I feel as if I’m sleepwalking through my day. Time is no longer real to me. So I go to History wherein I sleep. Sometimes literally, usually figuratively, I sleep. Minor Threat and the Misfits wake me up. The Clash and AFI give me feeling. Fugazi and Radiohead give me logic. Nirvana, Yoko Kanno, and the Beatles keep me alive. And so I watch that fucking musical in History, and my mind wanders to the battles of Revolutions new and old, of a world which cannot decide how to fuck itself over next, and I think of the sunset the night prior which no war could ever take away from me. Some things will always be mine and mine alone, and whether it matters or not, the music in my head will never be shut off.
There are two schools of thought pertaining to the prior within my mind: “Nothing matters,” and “If you burn your hand, it still hurts.”(I.E., Objective) I borrow liberally from each.
Do you know what kicks ass? Two things kick ass: the desolate mountains outside my window which I stare at in awe constantly, and New York City. Alright, so, logically, I make no sense. I’m attracted to extreme opposites. But this has boiled my two career options in the future down to the two I’d most like to peruse: a writer who lives in the wilderness with nothing but a CD player, and a hobo-writer who lives in NYC with nothing but a CD player. Both would have me so content that you would have to lift my flattened body of the floor with a spatula, for I would love nothing more. Really, when I get money, I either set it aside for books, music, anime, or trips to the city. Why anyone wants anything more, I have no idea. I don’t understand the fascination with the aesthetic of cars. Wow, look! A SHINY, HIGHLY OVERPRICED CAR! I’m gonna piss my pants now (if I could. Laugh all you want, you hydrated peoples)! Oh, look, (VERY Vegas-specific) JEWELRY! SHINY ROCKS! Heh…I went through a jewelry store at the [beautiful! Amazing! Elegant, elegant, elegant! Get the fuck over it: it’s a CASINO!] Bellagio shouting that. Then I went to the casino part and shouted, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!???” I don’t get gambling, either. I hate money, and everyone knows that, but I’m not to throw it away when I could equally well use it for the aforementioned, especially in the futile attempt to get more. The…I think it was Balley’s…Or the Flamingo, one or the other, was offering a 98% payback on their slot machines (there is always a significant return on slot machines. Not even the patrons are stupid enough to get nothing back). Their slogan, (which they were kind enough to blast all across the corridor/flat escalator/elevator/long enough to cover seven city blocks thing right out directly on Vegas Boulevard) was, “We’re practically giving it away!” No you’re not: you’re taking two percent. Two percent alone, on slot machines ONLY for a SINGLE DAY, is some two million. An amazing amount of cash changes hands in these places, and it’s obvious by the flamboyant ‘hotels’, which consist of enough lights to block out the bulk amount of the stars, even where I’m at, some 15 miles away. I’ll tell you of, ironically (sort of), New York, New York, for instance. Las Vegas’s downtown is not actually the strip. It’s about 10 miles away, in the slummy part of town, where the lower class strip clubs and, ironically, my school, are. There is a single large building, wherein ‘Bank of America’ is written in large letters across the outside. Most people, however, believe that New York, New York is downtown. This is due to the fact that the hotel consists of replicas of the Empire State Building, Chrysler Building, and about five others, at exactly half size that of the real ones. However, the real ones don’t have a roller coaster running through at thirty stories up. The casinos themselves are MONSTROUS atriums containing no clocks or windows (to prevent patrons from noticing how long they’ve been there). At larger ones, such as MGM grand, there can be 100,000 people in there at one time. Once you cross through (you HAVE to, inasmuch as that’s the only entrance), you can see whatever there is to see. At MGM, there’s lions in a three-floor glass room. At the (not at all gaudy) Excalibur, there’s middle ages shit happening (so realistic that you get black plague just watching. Or at least I thought I did). The Luxor has an IMAX theater (which is, admittedly, the coolest way to see the Matrix), etc., etc. I saw Thrice at Mandalay Bay (and had a hell of a time finding my way out, believe me. There’s, like, seven exits, half of which were blocked off. Well, YOU try finding your way through that one! I had to go through the casino, past six restaurants (not exaggerating. Six), then the lobby, and about four other rooms. It was maybe a quarter mile from one exit to the next.), etc. Then there’s about thirty or forty floors worth of hotels, and, to quote the Mirage, “If you feel what you think is an earthquake, don’t worry! It’s only the Mirage’s fully active volcano!” “Of course!” says my dad. I forgot what the original subject was, but I don’t care.