Previously on Flaming Eggplants - 2003

August, 2003:

Today's Horoscope
Today is a good day to sit in your dimly-lit office, trying to look busy whenever someone walks past. Today's hopefully blackout-averting battery powered appliance is the portable fan. Today's colour is hard to see in this light. Beware of people who look at the candy jar on your desk but don't take any candy. That can't be normal. Today's lucky number can be found by counting the number of spare batteries you can dig up by rummaging through drawers in your house. If your lucky number is 0, you may be out of luck.

Yes, in case you haven't guessed, I am sitting in the heart of blackout country, trying to use as little electricity as possible while still continuing to update this page. But don't worry. I'm saving all the electricity that would have been used if I were actually working right now. I'm finding it difficult to work, because I have one of those strange headaches that feels as if my head has been stuffed with something fuzzy wrapped around something sharp. Fortunately, my brain is not really required to update this page, so it's all working out okay in the end.

July, 2003:

Today's Horoscope
Today is an excellent day to play video games when your boss thinks you're working, unless you're sitting in a cubicle with your back to the door, in which case it's an excellent day to daydream about having a better office. Today's highly-addictive snack food is salted-in-the-shell peanuts. Today's colour is lime crush - a colour only found in nature among poisonous amphibians. Today's item of office equipment is the staple remover. For today's lucky number, add and/or subtract (in any order you like) your age, your phone number, the number of hours of sleep you had last night, your height, and any other personal information you feel would be helpful. If this turns out to be negative, go back to bed. Tell your boss I said it was okay.

Other Years

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