The Holy Book So Far

Means of Escape

Angelfire - Free Home Pages
Back to the Main Disorganized Religion Page
Back to Flaming Eggplants

The Holy Book So Far:
Please note: Just because this is a holy book, doesn't mean it has to be yours. If you don't like it, then write your own, or pick something else. The dictionary, Where's Waldo, anything. The choice is yours.
1)First there was Adam, and he spoke thusly: This seems cool. Make everything incredibly weird.
II)And then there arrived Sue, who said: We could take up collections whenever we felt like it and save the money to help the congregation buy airtime for downloading ICQ
3)And then there was darkness, for along came Robert, and all who looked on him feared, for here indeed was the AntiChaos, who brought with him the dreaded Rolodex, and threatened to organize.
4)But the people did not cower in terror for long, for then there was Cul, who declared himself and was proven to be the Keeper of the Chaos.
Five)And he spoke to the people and said: All quorums of more than three should be required to immediately disband, and seek other quorums at a much later date.
f)And there was much rejoicing, for clearly, the spirit of disorganization lived in this one.
vii)and the word of Tim was: "Religion is pointless. Just love God."
q)Jade says: "God is pointless. To have God would mean to have an ORGANIZED religion. Therefore, just do whatever the heck you want and be happy. Let anarchy be our God."
3)Flossie says: "worship stains instead of saints - save detergent!"

The Book of Yuyake
1) Yuyake is Buddhist and is Responsible for adding Eastern Philosophies to the Disorganized Religion. Thou shalt not call thine religion after Exploding Fruit. Or any other fruit. Study and Philosophy you wish, including German Techno, for it is the Way of Fred if you Want it to be.

2) At one point during the day the Deciples digressed from their Responsibilities and let bubbles flow forth from wands. They enjoyed the simple Nature - though the drought was full - as the Tree tried to assimilate the hair of Death's Representative (Ontario, Hades Division).

3) Thou Shalt Not Say Thou Shalt.

4) Death's Representative said not spit or swallow. The Pagan said that she was a sex symbol. and Death's Representative said he wanted another. Gayboy and the Pretender fought over the Tome while singing Japanese music. A Sacred bubble hits the page. The holy Insect came Forth.

Thou Shalt Respect the Insects.

Bubblina: Deity of the Bubble race
The bubble race is the chosen race of bubblina, deity of bubbles. These are the rules she has assigned to the treatment of her bubble race:

1- Thou shall not pop a bubble, less the other bubbles in the family mourn, and it is not acceptible to have sad bubbles.

2- The family appearing from the magic wand, where all bubbles spring forth from, the family, in its entirety appear all at once.

3- Some bubbles may live close to full lives in the magic wand before they are relocated to blissful life on our planet.

4- Treat bubbles with respect for they are magical beings as they spring forth from a magical wand.

If rules 1 and/or 4 are broken, or the forming of a family altered due to unlawful misuse of a magic wand, the penelty is thus. Bubblina will doom you to life for eternity inside of a bubble. There are presently few examples of this, one appearing in the VOID: Seinfeld.

The Book of Where We Left Off Before My Lunatic Friends Got Hold of the Holy Book:

Chapter 27, verse 3, subsection VI, part a (second line): Hoby the Undecided says: Make your home into your holy book by spray painting sentences on any bare surfaces and walls, giving your house that religious, yet vandalized, feel that we all long for.

The Book of Poo-Poo the Midget Pig
There once was a happy little squishy pig, whose name was poo-poo. He was known to all the other pigs as Poo-poo the Midget pig because he was so much smaller than normal. Then one day, he was exposed to radiation and developed super powers of an unspecified nature. He realized that he could no longer go on living his same old life in the usual way. He would have to find a cause for which to fight. He put on his magical yellow j-cloth cape and went forth into the world to fight for...

Suggestions for Poo-Poo's cause?

He will henceforth be known as Super Poo-Poo the Magical Midget Pig

The Book of the Continuation of Where We Left Off Before My Lunatic Friends Got Hold of the Holy Book:
Ecodude has decreeed: Have a banana-straightening day, I think that it is very evil and eh, non-fruit-loving to let these poor creatures be bend all their lives...the bends is not a pretty sight!!

This page was last updated in my last lifetime.

Questions, Comments, Ransom Demands?