"You can sleep on my crouton (meaning Futon)-Maureen Lynch 
"Mass chaos"-Leila Bhatti 
"It's been real"-Christina Smith 
"Can I see some identification please?"-police officer to Amanda, Kim, Mike,and Jerry 
"How's Austin?"-Katie "Austin?"-Amanda
"I mean Ruben"-Katie (drunk) thinking I was seeing Austin Croshere (of the Indiana Pacers)
"So, when are you taking me out to dinner?"-Amanda to Scott Burrell (of the Chicago Bulls) 
"Put your foot down. Take no survivors!"-Marc's Uncle Steven 
"Have another!"-VJ Eng 
"Sofa King"-Marc 
"What's your name? Otter?"-Iain about Roger 
"Why don't you just get me a collar and a leash!"-Sherry "What color?"-Mike
"Can I shoot you the room?"-Markus' mother while I was staying in Austria 
"When asked what I want to do when I graduate I say 'I wanted to drive tanks', but when I went down to the army office they said 'No! Son, you're just not what we're looking for'. Man, they crushed my dreams"-Brandon Dusick 
"No, I'm not kidding."-Fletch "Note to self..."-Corey, Marc, Don 
"Do you prefer snake (snack) or a hot meal?" Markus' mother to Gina and I in Austria
" You look very European tonight."-Becky (to Amanda) "Burn everything!"-Marc (camping)